Road Maps
by Leelan Oleander
Summary: Sequel to BRANDED-It's now six years later, Bella is graduating from Dartmouth, Edward is in Med School. How have their lives changed over the past six years and what's to come down the road? AU-Human, Rated M for foul language, abuse.
1. Ch 1 Time

**_Welcome back to the world of the __Branded gang. It is now six years later and some things have definitely changed. I hope you'll follow yet another part of Bella, Edward and the gang's journey through life and you'll enjoy it as much as you enjoyed __Branded._**

**_This will be slower coming than __Branded was, as I haven't finished writing it. I have taken some of your suggestions to heart and will try to make the chapters longer this time around._**

**_Adam and Pandora are back!  
_**

**_So please, read, review, and share the love. The reviews from __Branded were great, they made me smile and want to continue with the story, not to mention I met some wonderful new friends._**

**_So Stephenie Meyer still owns it all. I just own a nasty fever and chills at the moment, not to mention I'm under attack by a strange swarm of mosquitoes! _**

* * *

"I used to say that dying was easy, living was harder. There were nights that I prayed that there would be a freak windstorm or a tornado that would come crush me under the weight of the roof and kill me. There were many times when I prayed that my abuser would slip up and I'd finally be free.

"Death was always on my mind, yet I couldn't end my life. For some reason my body kept on going; my lungs inflated and deflated rhythmically; my heart, as broken as it was, continued to beat.

"His torture was slow, painful, and soul-crushing, yet my spirit endured. I could never understand why. It seemed as if my sole purpose in life was to suffer for his enjoyment. It wasn't logical, it made no sense. I spent almost as much time hating God as I spent wishing for my death.

"The abuse started when I was fourteen. My parents died in a car accident, leaving my older brother Emmett to raise me. He had no idea that his best friend had started physically abusing me. At first, he hit me. Then he raped me.

"Emmett had no clue as to what was going on. I was good at hiding the bruises, the cuts, the burns, the broken ribs, the concussions, and the brutal sex abuse for over a year. James had not only branded me as his own, but he'd convinced me that Emmett would put me in foster care if he found out what was going on. I was young, naive, and terrified. I had already lost my parents; I couldn't lose my brother too.

"It wasn't until the night that he almost killed me that Emmett found out. He showed up at James' house, found me unconscious and reeking of bourbon. James told him that I'd shown up drunk at his house and fell down the stairs. When Em carried me out to his Jeep he found that I was bleeding from the ear. Turns out I had a life-threatening brain bleed.

"After spending weeks in hospital, the lawyers of my parents' estate felt it was in our best interest to send us to live with our godparents, Dr. Carlisle and Esme Cullen. Em and I packed up and moved from Phoenix to the tiny town of Forks, Washington. It was the best thing to ever happen to me, to us.

"There, I met a family of angels who showed me that my life had value, that I was worth saving and after a while I didn't want to die. I wanted to live. I finally had a reason to hang on, to persevere.

"The Cullens and their children Edward and Alice took us in and loved us unconditionally. They didn't think ill of me because I was broken and scarred. Whenever I had an episode, or a freak out, they stood by me. When the nightmares became too bad, someone, usually Edward, was there with me. When I gave them no reason to love me, they loved me even harder.

"Life was far from perfect. I was so traumatized by what had happened that any time I talked about the abuse or even thought about it, I would vomit. It became so bad that I damaged my vocal cords and was unable to speak for an extended period. We were all scared that no one would ever hear my voice again.

"Edward and I developed a close relationship early on, much to the chagrin of my wonderful therapist and friend Dr. Victoria Taylor. She had concerns that the abuse was too fresh and that I was attracted to the security that Edward provided. She feared that intimacy would also be an issue. I won't say that she was totally wrong; it was a struggle, but through Edward's undying patience I was able to find ways to overcome the fear and the intimacy issues. Please don't ask me to elaborate, I don't want to make him blush. I will say this: you need to trust your partner and take things into your own hands.

"Edward, honey, you have been my rock through it all and I don't think there are words to convey the gratitude and the love I have for you for all that you've done for me.

"See, there are good men and women out there and we survivors of abuse deserve to find them. We are worthy of love. We deserve happiness.

"Our abusers may have taken our innocence and our trust, but they cannot take our souls. We are all strong women and men; we have survived some terrible things and although it seems like it's not worth going on, it truly is.

"I was lucky to have all the support that I did. Some of you may not be as fortunate. Don't let it get you down. Help and support can be found in strange and wonderful places.

"When I lost my voice I turned to art therapy to help work through my issues. The paintings you see on the screen behind me are a result of my own AT sessions. Through my pain, I discovered the freedom found in painting and am now using it to help others. I began selling my pieces at the urging of my therapist and I'm proud to say that they have raised over $40,000 for various shelters and abuse programs across the United States.

"I am now teaching therapists the benefits of AT so that people who cannot speak of their pain for whatever reason can still express themselves.

"My story has a happy ending. I was saved. My abuser is dead, killed by an armed guard as he attempted to rape me one last time. The girl who wanted to die, who felt worthless and ruined is now graduating from Dartmouth with honours, still very much in love with her angel and looking forward to a long and happy life.

"Sadly, many victims of abuse won't find their happy ending. That's why I'm speaking out. If I can help even one person avoid going through what I did, then I've done my job; my suffering will not have been in vain. Please, if you are being abused or know someone is, SPEAK OUT! Suffering in silence won't make it stop. You are worth saving. We're all worth saving.

"My name is Bella Swan and I am a survivor. Thank you."

The room erupted into loud applause. Bella felt the blush creeping up her cheeks as she stared out at the auditorium filled with other survivors, family members, and therapists. The emcee came on to the stage and thanked her before dismissing the crowd.

She had been giving these talks off and on for the past four years, and each time she felt as if she was still letting go of the poison James had infected her with six years ago.

Edward waited patiently for Bella to talk to the organizers and some of the attendees before walking out on the stage to give her a hug. "You were amazing love. You're always amazing."

"Thanks," she said, tightening her hold on him.

"You're going to give me a swelled head if you don't stop calling me your angel."

"Deal with it. It's true. Let's find Emmett and Rose. I'm famished."

They located them at the back of the auditorium. Emmett grabbed her in one of his trademark bear hugs and swung her around. "Belly, you make a brother proud."

"Thanks, Em. Hi Rose," she broke off the hug with her brother to hug his gorgeous wife, who was also her best friend.

"You were great sweets. I'm so proud of you."

Bella blushed. "Come on guys, you've heard me talk a million times."

"We're still proud of you," Edward said, lacing his fingers through hers. "Shall we go to dinner?"

"Did someone say dinner? I'm so hungry I could eat a bear!" Emmett growled, "and I'm sure Rosie must be famished since she's eating for two now."

Bella's jaw dropped. "You're pregnant?"

A huge grin spread across Emmett's face as he placed his huge hands gently over Rose's belly. "Belly, you're going to be an aunt."

Too much in shock to speak, Bella stared at her sister-in-law's stomach, her mouth agape. Edward stepped forward to congratulate them.

"So, Aunt Bella, what do you think?" Rose asked quietly.

"I...I'm thrilled. Congratulations!" She threw herself at Rose and Emmett, hugging them. "Let's go celebrate."

* * *

After an exciting evening out with Em and Rose, Bella decided to take a hot bath to unwind. Edward ran it for her while she checked her e-mail.

"Edward, honey, there's been another offer made for one of my paintings," she called from the bedroom.

"That's fantastic!"

"Oh, and there's an invitation to speak at a conference."

"You're really making a name for yourself," he said as he left the bathroom to stand behind her. "Who would have ever thought that the girl so afraid to talk about the abuse she endured that she threw up every time, would become a sought-after public speaker?" he said, running his fingers through her long brown hair.

"Guess where the conference is?"

"Please say Jamaica," he laughed.

"Montréal. Polish up your French because we're going to Québec!"

"When?"

"In four weeks. Do you think you can go?"

He scrunched up his face. "Baby, I don't know. My shifts at the hospital are pretty tight this summer. I'll have to see if we can juggle the schedule a bit.

"That's all I can ask for." She tilted her head back for a kiss, which he couldn't deny giving to her.

Edward eventually pulled back. "Your bath is ready."

"Say it in French, please."

"Mademoiselle ton bain est prêt."

"Merci, Edouard," she replied, rolling the r sounds.

"God, you're sexy," he said as he captured her lips with his and kissed her hard.

"Je t'aime, Edouard."

"Go take your bath before I divert you to the bed."

Bella lowered herself slowly into the tub, savouring the heat. Edward always drew the best baths; just enough hot and cold, the perfect mix of bath salts and bubbles. It was heaven in tub form. The hot water encouraged her muscles to relax and with a big self-indulgent sigh, she submerged under the water staying there until her lungs were ready to explode.

In a brief flash, she could almost feel James' hands circling her throat and cutting off her oxygen. Panicking, she surfaced and gasped loudly. A sob came out and before she could stop it, a torrent of tears began to stream down her cheeks.

Not wanting to alert Edward to her obvious distress, she splashed around a little bit to cover the sound. Then she submerged her head into the water again and screamed; her cries were trapped in iridescent strawberry-scented bubbles. She was too afraid to pop them for fear her tormented anguish would escape loudly and betray her.

For years, Bella had fought off the memories of her abuser, James. There was no reason to fear him; he was dead and gone six years now, a lifetime ago.

Years were spent in therapy dealing with the emotional damage, months spent with medical professionals trying to ascertain any permanent physical damage.

Why was he haunting her? Had the speech she'd given re-ignited the memories? She'd given that particular talk so many times before with no flashbacks. _Maybe_, she thought, _I should call Victoria._

Edward entered the bathroom, took off his pajama pants, and slid in behind her. "Thought you might want me to wash your hair."

"Mmm," she moaned as his fingers raked through her wet locks. "Thanks."

"My pleasure."

The smell of strawberry-scented shampoo filled her nose as her loving boyfriend began to massage it into her scalp.

"Great news from Rose and Em tonight, eh?"

Bella pulled her knees up under her chin and sighed.

"Love, are you okay?"

"Yeah, don't mind me. I'm tired and emotionally drained."

"Aren't you happy for your brother?"

"Of course I am. How could you think otherwise?" she snapped back. Instantly she felt rotten. "Baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so bitchy. I'm thrilled for them. Emmett's going to be a fantastic dad. I hope they have a girl. He needs a little girl to dote on. Rose is going to be a great mom too. She's very compassionate in a no-nonsense way. They'll play off each other well."

Edward poured water over her head to rinse the suds from her hair. Once they were gone, he massaged some conditioner on the ends then wrapped his arms around her. "Something's off, Bella. What's bothering you?"

"Nothing, I'm just tired."

Lips wrapped around her earlobe and she melted.

"So, seriously Bella, what's bothering you?"

"Mmm...nothing."

A hand moved to cup her breast. "Really, Bella, you've got to be kidding me. You're the worst liar ever." The other hand moved down her stomach, over the scars James had left behind and to the juncture between her thighs, a.k.a. Pandora.

"Ed...ward..." she groaned as a finger dragged slowly up her nether lips.

"So are you going to tell me or do I have to resort to dirty methods to get it out of you?"

A finger slipped inside and Bella came unglued. She started to cry.

"Oh my god, what's wrong? What did I do?" Edward's tone was panicked.

Huge sobs tore through her. Edward held onto her tightly and rocked her until they subsided. He stood up and grabbed a towel before helping her out of the now cool water. She shivered against him. He turned on the shower and led her into the hot water to warm her up and to rinse the conditioner out of her hair.

"Love, it's okay. We don't have to talk about it now, but if you don't want to tell me, we can call Victoria tomorrow or go see Dr. Alex. Please don't bottle anything up."

"Bed, please," she said quietly. "I just want you to hold me."

"Of course. It's one of my favourite things to do. You never have to ask."

Snuggled into Edward, Bella cried softly.

"Love, I wish I knew what was wrong so I could know what to do."

"I'm just sad. Can we leave it at that?"

"Why so sad?"

"Just am. Do I always have to have a reason?"

Edward thought about it for a moment. "No, I guess you have a point. Please just know that I'm here for you." He kissed her forehead.

"Why do you have to be so perfect?" she sniffed. "It just makes this harder."

"If I recall correctly, you weren't thinking I was so perfect this morning when I left the toilet seat up."

"Okay, you're not completely flawless but you're close."

"What's so hard?"

"Other than Adam, who is poking me in the stomach?"

Edward laughed. "Adam has a mind of his own, you know that."

Bella laughed lightly, reached down and gently stroked Edward's engorged member. "I don't know if Pandora feels like having company tonight, Adam."

"Adam will survive. So now that you've totally skirted the question, what, besides Adam, is so hard."

"Promise not to tell anyone? I feel horrible; I'm a terrible, horrible person."

"No you're not. Never, Bella."

"I'm jealous, Edward."

"Jealous of what? Of whom?"

"Emmett and Rose."

"Why would..."

Bella saw the light bulb turn on over Edward's head.

"You want a baby."

Bella began to cry again. "Yes. Yes, I want a baby and I'm feeling so sorry for myself that it's pathetic. What kind of sister am I if I can't be happy for my brother? After all he's done for me and I'm being a greedy little bitch."

"It's okay to feel like this, love. Just don't let it consume you."

"I want to have your baby, Edward."

"I told you before, a million years ago, that a baby would be gravy," Edward said, stroking her cheek, "all I want and really need is you. I can live without children as long as I have you."

"It's just not fair. Just when I think I've left James in the past, dead, something happens and I'm back to square one. I'm a big genetic dead-end phony. How can I stand on stage and talk about being a survivor when James still runs my life?"

"Don't you think for one second that you're any less of a survivor because of a small setback. Everyone has them. Let's get some sleep and we can talk about it tomorrow."

"Okay. Can you hum a few bars for me?"

"Of course."

Edward began to hum her lullaby as she drifted off in a fitful sleep.

* * *

"NOOO!"

Edward's arms wrapped around Bella protectively and held her tight. "Shh, love, it's okay."

Bella's eyes opened and Edward's heart broke. He hadn't seen pain like that in years. "What happened?"

"He was in my dream."

"You haven't dreamt of him in a long time. What was he doing?"

"Laughing. He was laughing," Bella hiccupped.

"That's it?"

She closed her eyes as if in deep concentration. "No, he was holding a baby. A boy. He had green eyes and crazy bronze hair. He looked like you."

"So he was holding a baby and laughing?"

"Then we were off on the cliff on the EOTW." Bella sighed sadly.

"So he was standing on the cliff on the Edge of the World with a baby." Edward wished James would stop appearing in dreams involving his and Bella's special place. "Then what?"

Bella buried her face in Edward's bare chest and cried as if her heart was shattering. When she composed herself enough she spoke again. "He looked at me, laughed again, and said that he won because he took something of mine away, then he dropped the baby off the cliff."

"It's okay, love. It's all symbolic. It's just your subconscious rehashing what we already know; that James may have taken away your chance to have a 'baby Edward.' It doesn't mean that we can't still have children. We can adopt.

"Baby, it may have happened on the Edge of the World but it's not the end of the world. We'll get through this."

Bella hugged him and got out of bed.

"Where are you going?"

"I can't sleep and it's not fair to you. I'm going to hang out in the studio for a bit."

"Love, it's three in the morning. Graduation is in two days. You need to rest."

"I'll be fine, Edward. You have a lot of work to do. Please sleep. I'll nap tomorrow."

"Fine. I love you, Bella."

"I love you more, Edward."

The studio had become Bella's safe haven. It was nestled at the back of the house, looking out on the backyard. Esme had converted the sun porch of the older home into a beautiful space for Bella to paint year round. In the summer, the large windows opened to let in fresh cool air at night and it was heated by an old wood stove in winter.

After sorting through her supply of blank canvases, Bella settled on an 18x24 rectangular one, stared at it for a moment, letting it whisper to her. The canvas always told her what it should be; what paint she should use, which brushes and what strokes. Until she met other artists in university, she often wondered if she was crazy. Most of her classmates assured her that it was natural, in fact, some of them talked to their canvases, clay, and planks.

One deep breath, one last listen. Bella picked up a brush and began.

* * *

Edward's alarm went off with an annoying shriek. He slapped it off and rolled over to hug Bella. She wasn't there.

"Aw shit, Bella," he mumbled as he got up and walked toward the bathroom. After draining his bladder and brushing the overnight scum from his teeth and tongue, he padded quietly down the hall toward the studio where he found Bella curled up in a ball shivering on the couch. He grabbed an afghan from the wicker basket chair in the corner and covered her.

A splash of green on the canvas caught his eye. He stared into the unfinished face of a green-eyed cherub with wild bronze hair. He reached out to touch the face, and sighed. Bella had struggled with not being able to conceive for years. She had feared that Edward wouldn't love her if she couldn't bear him any children. Sure, he'd love to have a little Eddie or baby Bella running around, but not so much that he'd fault her for something so utterly beyond her control.

"Sweet peaceful dreams, love," he whispered as he placed a kiss on her head.

Edward returned to the kitchen to grab a coffee before heading upstairs to shower. He had a long day ahead of him on rounds and since he was just a neophyte in the medical world, it seemed to drain him all the more. Bella keeping him up with nightmares wasn't going to help matters either. He decided to put in a call to their old therapist and friend Victoria back in Forks to get her opinion on this latest development.

* * *

_**So, what did you think? I realize it's not as angsty as **_**Branded_ was (at this point) but there's lots of angst to be had, right? Maybe this story should be a happier one. Haven't they been through enough? Nah...hold tight...bumpy roads ahead._  
**


	2. Ch 2 Reunion

_**I am so truly overwhelmed and humbled by the response to **_**Road Maps**_**, and so happy to hear from so many of you who followed Branded, that I couldn't keep the second chapter from you. I hope that it will answer some of the questions you've been asking. **_

_**Stephenie Meyer still owns Twilight, and I still have an apartment full of mosquitoes.

* * *

**_

Bella woke to sunlight and the sound of birds. She squinted into the bright rays that blasted through the windows. _What time was it? Where did this afghan come from? _

_Edward._

Stretching her cramped limbs and yawning loudly, Bella poured over the events of the previous night and felt ashamed of herself. How could she be so selfish? She decided to just suck it up, be happy for Em and Rose, and give poor Edward a break from 'her crazy.'

The canvas she had been working on mocked her. The green-eyed baby, although incomplete, was recognizable enough. Baby Edward. Their baby, if they could have one.

Thoughts that should not have been swirling through her head were now threatening to drown her, so she put the canvas away, facing the wall and went back into the house. Their house. Their home.

Carlisle and Esme had insisted on buying them a house when they moved to Hanover. It reminded Bella of Casa Swan, the house she and Emmett had lived in back in Forks. It was cozy, warm, and inviting and had all of Esme's special touches. Of course she had insisted on decorating it. Alice had been too busy with school and work to contribute as much as she had wanted, but had definitely left her mark throughout.

Edward had made coffee, bless his heart, and left a note.

_Bella,_

_Good morning. Hope I didn't wake you when I left. I'll be home at 6. Don't forget that Mom and Dad are arriving today. Could you please pick them up at the airport?_

_I'll have my phone turned on in case you need me. Please call Victoria today and talk to her. I worry about you._

_I love you always,_

_Edward_

_P.S. Adam sends his love to Pandora_

Holy shit on a shingle! Bella had all but forgotten that Carlisle and Esme were arriving for graduation. She sprinted to the guest room to change the sheets, unsure of the last time they'd been washed. She checked her watch. It was 7:15. They would be arriving at four. There was so much to do: laundry, grocery shopping, dusting. Thank God Alice and Jasper were going to stay with Emmett and Rose at their house. It would be two less people she'd have to worry about.

Emmett had accepted a full scholarship from Dartmouth when he graduated from high school. He did it with a lot of trepidation since Forks was a long way away from Hanover and he worried terribly about leaving Bella behind.

Two years later Bella and Edward had also been accepted to Dartmouth and were excited to be so close to him.

Rosalie had gone to UofW but moved east to be with Emmett immediately after graduation. They now owned a specialty car shop that dealt in both selling and maintaining exotic, import cars. Business was booming, they were happily married and now had a baby on the way.

Alice and Jasper had moved to New York so she could pursue her dream of studying fashion design. She graduated from her program the year before and was working as a stylist. Jasper was graduating from NYU and was going to graduate school. He wanted to be a professor.

It was hard to believe after all they'd been through together they had separated and moved so far away from each other. Well, Dartmouth was only a few hours' drive from New York, but it was still too far for Bella's liking. It seemed a galaxy away from Forks. She really missed Esme and Carlisle even though they came to visit at least once every couple of months.

Bella's phone chirped and snapped her out of her daze. She squealed when she saw who it was.

"ALICE!"

"Sister, mine! What's up?"

"I'm standing in the kitchen suffocating on the nasty brain fart I just had."

"Ew, Bella! That's gross."

"Shouldn't you be getting ready to board a plane?"

"Shouldn't you be opening your door?"

"What the..."

Bella ran over to the front door, opened it, and was attacked by a dark-haired pixie.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Bella said as Alice squeezed the air from her lungs.

"Aren't you happy to see me?"

"Of course I am! I'm just confused. Weren't you supposed to be arriving tonight?"

"Jazz and I couldn't wait. We drove. Are you going to ask me in or should we just stand here on your porch?"

Bella blushed. "Sorry, I'm a little off this morning."

Alice danced into the house and gave everything the once over. "The place still looks wonderful. I just love it here. It reminds me of Casa Swan."

"Where's that hunky southern gentleman of yours?"

"Sleeping. I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd come see you. I take it Edward's at work?"

"Yeah," Bella yawned. "He left a while ago. He should be home by six."

"Are you okay Bells? You look exhausted."

Sighing, Bella walked into the kitchen, poured a cup of coffee for Alice, who really didn't need the caffeine, and refilled her own. "I am exhausted. Between finals, preparing my final grad show exhibit, the public speaking engagements, portfolio reviews, exams and everything else, it doesn't leave much time for sleep. Edward's putting in a lot of time at the hospital now too."

"I can tell by the paint on your face that you must have had a late one last night. Were you working on something for school?"

"No, I had a bit of a meltdown last night. I needed to work through something."

Alice put down her coffee mug and gave Bella a hug. "I'm here if you need me, you know that, right?"

"Yes, thanks. I do need help with something. The folks are arriving at four and I need to get this house sorted out and pick up some groceries."

"Shopping? Did you mention shopping?"

"Yes Alice. Would you mind running to the store for me? The list is on the fridge and my shiny black AMEX is in my wallet."

"I'll be back in a bit. While I'm gone, you should really consider taking a shower and changing out of your pajamas."

"God I missed you, Alice."

Bella ran a hot shower and climbed in. Although she used to take scalding hot ones hoping naively to melt off the scars James had left on her body, she now took them because she couldn't stand to be cold.

Her body was covered in scars. James had really left his mark. Cigarette burns; scars from being cut repeatedly and the crowning glory; the word PIG burned into her skin, like a brand. Over the years, she had gotten used to them, and once Edward was over the shock, she didn't think much of it. She still refused to wear a two-piece bathing suit in public, though. Why would she want to invite people to stare at her?

Carlisle had offered to foot the bill for laser scar removal, but Bella declined. It had become part of her; it was a road map of where she had been and where she never wanted to return. Everyone had been shocked by her decision to say the least.

"Bella love, are you sure?" Edward had said.

"Yes."

"Belly, I thought you'd want to get rid of them, especially, you know, the word." Emmett struggled daily with what Bella had endured and still wouldn't say the word PIG out loud.

"This is Bella's decision to make. This is also an open offer. If you decide some day down the road that it's something you'd like to do then we'll make it happen."

"Thanks, Carlisle. Guys, it's hard to explain why I don't want to do this. I can't find the words to make you understand."

"You don't have to explain anything to anyone, love. This is your decision to make."

Edward was always so understanding. How had he put up with her for so long?

Cold water snapped her out of her daydream. She got out quickly and got dressed. She'd been zoning out a lot lately. Hopefully it would pass; if it didn't, she had a feeling Edward would see it as another reason to worry about her.

Alice returned later with a Porsche full of groceries and other items. Bella groaned internally at the sight of all the extras. "Alice, hon, what is all of this?"

"I thought you could use some new painting clothes, some new towels and I couldn't resist buying you a new coffee maker. Yours is so last year."

"But I like my coffee maker. I understand it. Now I have to learn how to run this one. I don't need any more change right now. Things are changing too fast as it is!"

Bella slid down the fridge and sat on the kitchen floor. As hard as she tried, she couldn't stop the tears that slid down her face.

Poor Alice panicked. "I'll return the coffee maker. I'm sorry Bella. I didn't mean to upset you." Alice sat beside her and gave her a hug.

"Oh Alice, it's not that. I'm sorry. I'm an emotional mess."

"It's okay, Bells. You've got a lot on your plate right now. Why don't you go relax for an hour while I put everything away? Go sit in the living room and put your feet up. Maybe put on some music. Do you want me to make breakfast?"

"Don't worry about food for me, but yes, I will go put my feet up. Thanks, sister, mine."

"Anytime."

Alice helped Bella to her feet, gave her a hug, and sent her off to the other room. Bella grabbed her phone on the way and stopped to grab a blanket. She was cold. She curled up in Edward's favourite overstuffed chair and inhaled his smell. She started to feel a little better almost instantly.

Staring out the window, all snuggled up, she thought about everything had had to be done in the next couple of days. There was no way she could do it on her own. Thank God for Alice and Rose whom she knew she could count on to help her out when it all became too much.

She must have dozed off because the next thing she knew it was just after noon and her phone was buzzing.

"Hi baby," she said groggily.

"Are you still sleeping?"

"No, well, yes. Alice showed up and made me take a nap. She's puttering around using her excess energy for good instead of evil."

"They're here already? I can't wait to see them! Say hi to Alice for me. So, how're you doing?"

"I'm okay."

"I don't believe you. Did you call Victoria?"

"Not yet."

"Please? If something's bothering you it would be best to get it out before things get out of hand. The next few days are going to be busy."

"Fuck, Edward, I'm not a child."

Silence.

"Baby? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you again. I'll call Victoria as soon as I hang up. I promise. You can ask Alice. Please don't be mad at me."

Big sigh. "I'm not mad, love. I'm just tired and worried. I'm sorry I had to leave you with all the preparations today. I know you're stressed out. I just wish we could..."

"We could what? What do you wish?"

"I wish I could come home right now. I love you Bella."

"I love you too, Edward. And don't think for a second that I'm going to let that _I wish_ comment slip by. We'll talk later. I'm going to call Victoria. I love you."

"See you soon. Tell Pandora that Adam says hi and he hopes they can see each other soon."

Bella laughed. "She does too."

Deep breath. "Alice, I need to call Victoria before Edward has a coronary. I'm just going to close the door, okay? Please help yourself to anything."

"Take all the time you need. I'm going to go grab Rosie in a few minutes. We can do lunch when you're done."

"Thanks Alice."

Another deep breath. Speed dial #7. Victoria. My lifeline. My savior. Four rings. One tear. Eight nervous breaths.

"Bella?"

"Hi."

"Are you okay? What's going on?"

"Have you got a few minutes?"

"For you Bella, I've got all the time in the world. Just give me a second. I need to tell Heidi to hold my calls."

Bella leaned back in the overstuffed recliner and pulled the blanket up over her head.

"Still there?"

"Yes," she said quietly.

"Oh Bella, spill it honey. What's up?"

"I'm surprised Prince Charming hasn't already called you to tell you."

"I'm between clients and have a stack of messages...just let me...oh, he did call. Three times. He is a persistent one, isn't he?" she laughed, "so, what's up?"

One deep shaky breath, two tears, and the dam broke. "I'm a terrible, horrible person Victoria."

"That's so far from the truth that you'll need a map to get back. What brought this on?"

"Rose is pregnant."

"That's fantast...oh. Gotcha. I don't think I need to ask how that's making you feel. You're feeling pretty low, aren't you?"

"Yes, I feel terrible! I should be excited that I'm going to be an aunt and instead I'm feeling sorry for myself and Pandora's messed up plumbing. It's been so long since I've thought about it, then BAM! It's all I can think about."

"What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking that I'm letting Edward down."

"Is that all?"

"No, I'm thinking that I'm defective."

"And."

Bella hesitated. "And James is back."

"Bella, James is dead. He's been dead for six years."

"He tried to choke me last night."

"Are you hallucinating? Should I be worried?"

"No." Big sigh. "Edward ran a bath for me to relax after my long day because I have a feeling he clued in right away that I was upset. Anyway, I was soaking in the tub and when I ducked under the water to wet my hair, I stayed under a little longer. my lungs started to burn a bit, and ended up having a flashback to the night James strangled me.

"It's been six years and I can still feel his hands on me. I can go months and feel nothing, then something triggers it and he's back.

"I screamed underwater so Edward wouldn't hear me. I don't know if he did or not. He came in and joined me shortly after and I fell apart. Actually, he got in the tub hoping to seduce the truth out of me and the second he came in contact with Pandora I lost it. I totally freaked him out. He thought he'd done something wrong, touched me a wrong way."

"Then what happened?"

"We eventually ended up in bed, where I cried and he was Prince Charming times a million and tried to placate me with promises to adopt.

"I've got nothing against adoption, that's not the point. I want my own fucking baby but HE took that away from me. I had no choice! I still don't."

"All hope isn't lost Bella."

"I've given up."

"This is terrible timing, what with graduation. The only thing I can say is this: you can't help what happened in the past or your sadness over this loss, but you can't let it consume you. For now, focus on the good. I mean Bella, you've got Prince Charming who loves you unconditionally, a wonderful family and you're graduating from Dartmouth! The world is yours for the taking, Chica!

"I know it doesn't change what happened, but you lived Bella. You are alive and that's what matters. We all love you whether you can have a baby or not. Try not to take too much out on Edward, okay? I know you don't mean to, and he's an easy target, but he doesn't deserve it."

"I'll try."

"Please do. I have partially selfish motives though. He tends to call me more when you're snapping a lot," she laughed. "Hang in there Bella. Let's get you through graduation and we'll deal with the rest later. Are you still journaling your dreams and your art?"

"Yes."

"Keep it up."

"Victoria, thank you. I'm feeling a lot better."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"You know Edward's going to ask," Victoria said, chuckling.

"Yeah, you have my permission to tell him everything."

"You know it would be better if you could do it yourself."

"I suppose you're right, but whenever I do he goes into Prince Charming mode trying to placate me with cheesy clichés and corny platitudes."

Victoria laughed. "Now that sounds about right to me."

"Oh, I forgot to tell you. I've been asked to speak at a conference in Montréal next month!"

"That's great! Are you sure you're up for it?"

"Yup."

"Good for you. I'm so proud of you, baby girl. I really am. Congrats on graduation and you know where to find me if you need me."

"Thanks Victoria. You're the best."

"Right back atcha, kiddo. I'd better call Edward back before he has a coronary."

Bella laughed. "I said the same thing to Alice!"

"Give my love to everyone and I'll talk to you soon."

* * *

Alice, forever the inquisitive pixie, needed to find out if Rose knew anything about why Bella was so out of sorts.

"Rose, I'm worried about Bella. Something's up."

"Yeah, I know. She was fine last night until we..." Rose cut herself off. She hadn't intended on telling the rest of the family about her pregnancy until dinner with the whole family. In fact, she had wanted to wait until after Bella and Jasper's graduations, but Emmett was horrible at keeping secrets. She didn't want to take away from the real celebrations at hand.

"Until what, Rose? Huh?"

"Nothing," she said as she mentally kicked herself.

"It's not nothing. Spill it Hale-Cullen."

"I can't tell you until tonight. Please don't..."

Alice pulled the car over in the nearest parking lot. "We aren't leaving until you tell me. Wait," she paused, deep in thought, "Oh my god, you're pregnant aren't you!"

"How did you figure it out?"

"I'm gifted, remember? So, you spilled the beans to Edward and Bella last night. Then what?"

"We went out for dinner and she was super quiet, barely ate a thing, and seemed lost in thought."

"I caught her like that this morning, just standing there in the kitchen, looking lost. I'm really worried. She looks like shit and I think she was up painting all night. When I left to pick you up she was calling Victoria."

Rose sighed. "That's not a good sign. I was really concerned about her reaction to the pregnancy. I know she desperately wants to have kids. Oh god, what I have done. Poor Bella."

"Don't worry about that, Rosie. I'm so excited that I'm going to be an aunt! We'll have to have a shopping weekend to buy maternity clothes for you and all kinds of baby stuff."

"You don't understand, Alice. My getting pregnant is just a reminder that she can't have kids. It's just another thing to bring James back."

"We can't spend our lives walking on eggshells around Bella. You are allowed to be happy about the baby, Rosie. She'll get through this. We'll get her through it, just like we got her through everything else. Do you think Edward knows she's struggling so much?"

"Of course he does! He's so attuned to her that he probably knows when she has to pee before even she does."

Alice laughed as she pulled her car back on to the road. "Hopefully Victoria was able to talk some sense into her."

"Go easy on Bella, Alice. Please. Also, let's not overdo the baby thing until after graduation. This is Bella's big weekend. It needs to be a happy one."

* * *

Bella was sitting on the front step waiting for the girls to pick her up when Edward called.

"Hi Edward."

"You're sounding better. Did you..."

"You already know that I talked to Victoria. Don't even try to lie. I see right through you."

He laughed. "Busted. I'm glad you called her. Do you feel better?"

"Yeah, I do. Look baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you like that, or rather, like I have been. I hate that it happens and you've been so good about it. I don't know what's going on with me."

"Don't worry about it now, love."

Bella spotted the Porsche turning down the street. "Oh, the girls are here. I have to go. I love you, Edward."

"You too. Be safe. I'll see you soon."

"Not soon enough."

* * *

It was nothing short of miraculous that the trio of girls weren't thrown out of the restaurant. They cackled and laughed like a flock of deranged chickens. Bella couldn't remember the last time she'd laughed so much. Being with the girls was exactly what she needed. Even when talked turned briefly to babies, Bella didn't mind so much.

"Oh shit, look at the time! Alice, we need to head to the airport to pick up Carlisle and Esme and we can't take the Porsche. Why don't we swing by the house so I can grab the bug?"

"I can't believe you still have that car, Bella," Alice said.

"It was my first one and I love her! She's still in great shape, thanks to Rosie and her mechanics. Edward keeps bugging me to get a newer, safer, car but I can't give her up. I know it cramps your style Alice, but he took the Volvo this morning."

"It's okay Bella. I'll put up with it, just this once."

Rose laughed. "God, I've missed having the three of us together. If I wasn't up the spout I'd say we should get hammered and dance around in our underpants for old time's sake, but that can't happen for me. We should have a girlie night SOON!"

Alice thought for a moment. "Ooh, why not when you come to New York next week for Jazz's graduation! I'll book us a day at a spa and make dinner plans for that night." She paused. "I have a dirty little idea. Ooh!" she shouted, drawing even more attention to them. "The gears are turning. Let me take charge and I guarantee it'll be a day you won't forget."

"As if anyone could stop her," Bella said quietly to Rose. The pixie was so involved in her thoughts that she couldn't hear a word that was being said. She and Rose laughed at Alice, and then worried about what she could be planning.

* * *

"MOM! DAD!" Alice shrieked when she spotted her parents leaving the security area of the airport. She launched herself at them and squealed.

Bella was equally excited to see them but was able to contain it a little better than Alice could. Esme pulled her into a hug and Bella felt herself getting a little misty-eyed.

"Sweetheart, you look tired. Are you okay?"

"Geez, Esme, I love you too," Bella grumbled.

"I'm sorry sweetie; I didn't mean it like that. You know me, I worry a lot."

"I know. I've just got a lot going on right now. I'll be fine when this is all finished."

"Hey, don't bogart the Bella, Esme," Carlisle said, laughing and holding his arms out to her. "It's so good to see you, dear."

"You too, Carlisle."

Alice dragged Esme by the hand toward the luggage carousel while Bella hung back with Carlisle.

"How've you been Bella? I realize things have probably been kind of hectic what with graduation preparations and Edward's schedule. You may wish to speak to Esme about that particular thing. I know she struggled with my hours sometimes."

"I will, thanks. Yeah, things have been hectic. There's a lot going on with my finals, my final project, Edward, the public speaking, the meetings with the therapists about setting up AT for their clients, Jazz's graduation, oh, and I'm going to be speaking at a conference in Montréal."

"That's exciting news, dear." Carlisle put his arm around her shoulder and gave her a squeeze. "But that's a daunting list of things to do. Esme and I will do what we can to help you out while we're here."

"I can't ask you to do that, Carlisle. You're our guests!"

"I insist. Oh, I see they've found the luggage. We'd better get over there before your sister has an aneurysm."

Bella laughed and leaned her head on her adopted father's shoulder. "I'm so glad you guys are here."

"We wouldn't miss it for the world, Bella."

* * *

Bella, Edward, and Alice walked into the house one day in eleventh grade. Okay, it wasn't just 'one day' it was April 11th, to be exact. Carlisle and Esme were standing in the kitchen smiling at them.

"Uh-oh, something's up," Alice said under her breath.

"Hey! Don't I get a hug?" Emmett yelled as he jumped out from behind a corner.

"EMMY! What are you doing home?" Bella yelled as she ran to hug him.

"Exams are done early," he said as he hugged his sister.

"So you're home for good?"

"For the summer."

"I missed you, Emmett," she said as she sniffed. It had been so hard being separated from him. There were monthly visits, either he'd come home or the whole family would travel to Hanover to see him, but it was never long enough.

"We have something to ask you, Bella and Emmett," Esme said nervously.

"What's that?" Bella was suddenly very nervous. She grabbed her brother's hand and felt for Edward's. He laced his fingers with hers and rubbed her palm in an effort to allay her fears.

"Please don't feel obligated to say yes, but we have all talked about this and have come to the consensus that we would like you to become official Cullens." Carlisle held out two legal documents. "We would like to adopt you both."

Emmett let go of Bella's hand to step forward to examine the documents. "Aren't I kind of old to be adopted?"

"No, Emmett, although they are rare, adult adoptions aren't unheard of. In your case, yes, it's because we love you, but from a legal standpoint, it will allow you certain privileges and rights."

He thought about. "Would I have to change my name? I want to be a Swan. I want to pass my father's name down to my kids."

"No, you don't have to change your name. We would never expect that of you."

Edward squeezed Bella's hand. "What are you thinking?"

What was she thinking? This was such a shock. "Um, wow. I'm thinking I need to sit," she replied shakily.

Edward led her to a stool at the breakfast bar. He stood behind her and rubbed slow circles on her back.

"I have one question."

"What's that dear?" Carlisle asked as he approached her.

"Um, doesn't me being adopted into the family mean that Edward and I will be siblings?"

"Yes, I guess so. Why?"

"I'll be dating my brother! That just sounds so wrong!"

Everyone laughed. "It's not like you're blood siblings, Belly. I mean you and me dating, now that would be fu...messed up. You and Eddie are fine."

She thought about it for a moment. "You really want to legally adopt a train wreck?"

Esme laughed. "Of course, sweetheart, and you are not a train wreck."

"I'm certainly not 'ideal daughter' material."

"No, that's why they have me!" Alice chirped.

Edward groaned.

"So what do you think?" Carlisle asked.

Bella asked for a minute by herself to think about it. It was really just a formality. She was pretty sure she knew how to respond to their generous offer. She went out on the deck and sat down. Reaching into her bag, she grabbed a pen and some paper.

**Pro:** I adore the Cullens

**Con:** I am dating a Cullen

**Pro:** I would have living parents

**Con:** I might upset my dead parents

**Pro:** I'd officially have a sister

**Con:** My new sister is a hyperactive pixie shopaholic

**Pro:** They love me unconditionally

**Pro:** They have taken good care of me and Emmett when they didn't have to

**Pro:** Legally it makes sense in case something happened to me or Emmett

**Pro:** I would officially belong to someone again

Bella folded up the paper and walked back into the house. Everyone was staring at her expectantly.

"Yes."

Everyone cheered and ran toward her.

"But."

Everyone stopped mid-step.

"I want to remain a Swan until Edward makes me a Cullen," she said as she winked at him.

Again, everyone cheered and ran to hug her.

Bella felt a little bit of the emptiness that plagued her begin to fill up. She finally belonged again.

* * *

"Earth to Bella?"

"Bella?"

Fingers waving in front of her snapped her out of her daze. She was standing by the luggage carousel at the airport. "What? Oh, sorry."

"Are you okay?" Carlisle asked.

"Yeah, sorry. I just got lost in thought. I've got a lot on my mind."

"Maybe I should drive," Alice suggested.

"Yeah, I'm pretty tired. You don't mind?"

"Not at all."

* * *

_**Thanks for reading Chapter Two. Please review and let me know what you think, ask questions, or just say hi! I reply to all of my reviews (well, at least 99% of them) and look forward to hearing from y'all. Oh, if anyone knows how to get rid of an indoor mosquito infestation, could you please drop me a line and let me know. The damn things are going to drive me crazy and if I go crazy, I won't be able to finish the story. ;)**_


	3. Ch 3 Lemonade

_**LEMON ALERT! Yes, you read correctly, there are lemons ahead. This goes out to all of you who were frustrated that there were no full-on lemons in **_**Branded. _Please let me know what you think of them--too steamy? Not steamy enough?_**

**_The mosquito problem seems to be gone. Hurray! Maybe it was all the reviews that scared them away. _**

**_Speaking of reviews, I spent an HOUR responding to reviews this morning. That blows my mind! Thanks so much to everyone who has taken the time to leave me a message. You have no idea just how happy it makes me.  
_**

**_Stephenie Meyer is the queen of Twilight, while I'm the queen of, well, nothing. My cat runs my kingdom._  
**

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* * *

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The Volvo was in the driveway when they arrived which meant that Edward had gotten off early. Bella breathed a sigh of relief.

He came down the stairs dressed in khakis and a Dartmouth t-shirt and hugged his parents.

Esme held him at arms' length and gave him a once-over. "Oh Edward, you look tired. Are you not sleeping?"

"Mom," he groaned, "I'm fine. We've just been very busy lately. Why don't we get your luggage up to your room and get you settled? Emmett, Rose, and Jasper are on their way over. Em's going to throw some steak on the BBQ."

"I thought we had dinner plans tonight?" Bella asked.

Edward hugged her and nuzzled her neck. "I'm exhausted and the thought of being in public right now makes me want to tear my hair out."

"But I don't have anything prepared, there's nothing..."

He cut her off with a kiss. "Rose and Jazz have been busy cooking this afternoon. No worries. You won't have to lift a finger."

She sighed and relaxed against him. "Thank you. I don't think I could deal with a dinner out tonight either. Truth be told, I'd love to kick everyone out and spend the night with you; just us. It feels like we never have any quality time anymore. I miss you."

"Soon, Bella. Right now we need to deal with the family."

Emmett, Rose, and Jasper showed up just then. Emmett and Jazz carried the luggage up to the guest room while the rest of them started putting supper together.

Alice made a pitcher of sangria, which may or may not have been a good idea. Bella pounded back two glasses and ended up buzzed almost immediately. She flopped down with Edward in his overstuffed chair and kissed him.

"Pandora is really, really, really missing Adam." She ran her hand across his crotch and felt Adam waking up.

"Bella...not a good...oh fuck it. Adam's been complaining about being neglected. Come on."

Edward grabbed Bella's hand and dragged her up to the master bathroom where he lifted her onto the counter.

"Why not the bed?" she panted between heated kisses.

"Too loud. This room is the furthest from the action."

He pulled off his shirt as he attacked her mouth. There was no begging for entry, her sweet-tasting mouth was already open and waiting. While they kissed, he unbuttoned her top and sprung her breasts from the confines of her bra, while she worked on freeing Adam from his khaki confines.

"Oh fuck, Bella," Edward moaned when she finally palmed his erection.

"Hello, Adam," she said as she worked her hand up and down his velvet shaft.

Edward took one of her nipples in his mouth and she let out a moan.

"I need you NOW," she panted, "fuck the foreplay, Pandora needs Adam now."

Bella hopped off the counter long enough to pull down her pants and underpants before Edward lifted her back up. She scooted to the edge of the counter and opened her legs for him. He ducked down between her thighs.

"Hello Pandora," he said before he licked her from stem to stern. "God, Bella, you're so fucking wet."

"Edward, just fuck me. Please. Hurry, before Alice comes looking for us."

Smiling evilly, Edward stood up and obliged, thrusting Adam deep inside Pandora.

A very loud moan escaped Bella. Edward covered her mouth with his to quell the sounds as he drove deeper into her. She wasn't well-known for being quiet in the boudoir.

Once Bella had overcome her fear of intimacy with Edward, she'd become a bit of a vixen in bed. Adam and Pandora began having multiple daily rendezvous and all parties involved were more than thrilled.

Soon, Edward felt Bella's walls contracting and knew she was about to come. He had wanted to join her right away but decided to try for a second round.

When she cried out during her first orgasm, he was able to swallow her screams, but when the second wave came as he himself was experiencing his own release, he was too caught up in his own ecstasy that he forgot and her yell echoed through the bathroom.

As they remained intertwined and sweaty in post-coital glow, Bella blushed. "They all heard that, didn't they?"

Edward looked at her and flashed that perfect crooked smile of his. "I daresay they did."

"I'm so embarrassed," she said before kissing him.

"Don't be. It's not the first time they've heard you and it won't be the last. We're all grown-ups, Bella."

"But my brother...oh god. Em's probably having a fit."

"He lived with us for how long Bella, before Rose moved here? I know he's probably heard worse."

"I guess. Oh crap, we're all sweaty. I need a shower."

"We both do. Come on."

Edward turned on the hot water and they cleaned up quickly.

By the time they made it back downstairs the others were just about to eat dinner.

Emmett spoke up. "You're lucky we didn't start without you. After Bella sounded the 'dinner bell' we figured we probably had ten minutes before you would be down."

Bella turned a thousand shades of red. "Sorry."

Carlisle grinned. "We're all adults, not to mention your mother and I know what it's like when part of a couple is in med school. So, who wants steak?"

The family sat around and talked about Bella's upcoming graduation and her final gallery exhibition. She would be taking them to see it the following day.

"So, any idea what's next, Bella?" Jasper asked.

Bella sighed heavily. "I really don't know. Technically there's not much a Fine Arts/English major can do other than write and illustrate books or go back to school to get their teaching certification."

"You're discrediting yourself, Bella," Esme said, "there are a lot of things someone with your education, experience, and talents can do."

"Oh, I know. I thought maybe I'd take a year and work on my art, do more public speaking, not to mention I'm getting paid pretty well for training therapists on the benefits of art therapy. Then I thought I might go back to school and study psychology, maybe become a full-time certified AT."

"That sounds wonderful. You are great with the clients and therapists you work with," Carlisle said with a smile.

"How would you know that?"

"I have my ways," he grinned. "Victoria keeps me abreast of it all."

"How does...oh never mind," she said, shaking her head, "it doesn't matter. I really do enjoy helping people."

There was a small lull in conversation before Emmett cleared his throat. "Um, we're not trying to steal Belly's thunder here, but if I don't announce this I'm going to burst. Carlisle, Esme, you're going to be grandparents."

Esme jumped up and screamed before she ran to hug Rose and Emmett. "Really? When?"

"November," Rose said.

"I'm so happy I could explode! I have all my babies under one roof; Bella's graduating with honours from Dartmouth; Jasper's graduating from NYU with honours next week and I'm going to be a grandmother!" Esme started to cry. Carlisle moved to hug her.

Alice grabbed a bottle of champagne and made the rounds, pausing only to give Rose some ginger ale.

"A toast," said Carlisle, "a toast to the best family and news a father could want."

Esme spoke next. "To health and happiness."

"A toast to graduation parties and baby showers," Alice chimed in.

Jazz eyeballed her. "To good friends."

"A toast to hot, pregnant wives, and super smart sisters and brothers-in-law," Emmett bellowed.

Rose looked pleadingly at Bella. "To miracles and understanding."

Bella choked back her tears. "To love and forgiveness."

Edward squeezed her. "A toast to happy days filled with love regardless of obstacles, and more importantly a toast to new beginnings!"

"CHEERS!"

* * *

"That was nice," Edward said to Bella as he changed into his pajama pants, "it feels good to have everyone together again. I don't really realize how much I miss them until we're all together."

Bella walked out of the bathroom, brushing her hair. "Yeah, it was nice. I wish we had more time with them. At least we get a couple more days together in New York next week."

Edward looked nervous. "Um, about that, I'm still trying to get the time off. I might be able to get one day, but that's it."

"Jazz will understand, Edward. I'm free to go, and although it'll suck to be there without you, I can take one for the team. Alice will be thrilled to have me to herself."

"You are such a trooper, love."

Edward wrapped his arms around her and inhaled her scent. Adam stirred in his pants.

"Hello again, Adam," Bella said as she cupped him through the flannel. Edward's breath hitched.

"Bella," he warned throatily, "I thought we were going to sleep tonight. We're both exhausted."

"You can sleep if you want. I want some alone time with Adam," she said, grinning as she pushed Edward toward the bed. He laid down and she promptly pulled off his pants before crawling into the bed beside him.

She kissed him passionately as she drew a finger slowly up Adam's underside. She inhaled his moans when she cupped his balls and rolled them gently. When she came up for air, he groaned her name.

"Why are you still awake, Edward?" she joked.

"You are an evil little minx," he said huskily as he reached for the hem of her shirt. In one swift move, he'd removed it and had muckled onto her left breast. She gasped and resumed stroking Adam.

"Uhn, Edward, we can stop if you want to," she panted.

"You, Bella, are going to be the death of me."

He suckled on her right nipple as his hands moved down to remove her boy shorts. Once they were gone, he flipped her over so he was on top.

"Edward, move," she used her hands to direct him to flip around so she could take care of Adam while he looked after Pandora's needs. She grazed his engorged head with her teeth inciting Edward to moan into her wetness, which in turn caused her to groan as she wrapped her lips around him.

Edward lapped up the slippery nectar of her arousal while rubbing her sensitive bud with his thumb before thrusting one, then two fingers deep inside. _So hot, so mine._

Bella, on the other hand, was struggling to focus on the task at hand. Edward's ministrations were driving her insane. She continued to moan around his shaft, prompting Edward to thrust Adam deeper into her mouth. She was glad her mouth was full when Edward brought her to orgasm because she let out a muffled yell that could have potentially woken up the entire house.

The vibrations from her yell were enough to bring Edward to his own earth-shattering orgasm. He channeled his moans into Pandora as he shot his hot spunk into Bella's mouth. She accepted it all then licked him clean.

Edward removed his fingers from Pandora's wet corridor and turned to face Bella, who was sweaty and flushed with the remnants of her release. He brought his moist fingers to his mouth and licked them. He knew that Bella loved it when he did that. She sat up and kissed him hard before lying down with him again. She draped herself across his chest and sighed.

"God, I love you, Edward."

"As I love you." He wrapped his arms around her after pulling the duvet over them. "Sweet dreams Bella."

* * *

When Bella finally managed to pull herself out of bed the next morning, Esme had already cooked breakfast and cleaned up the remaining mess from supper.

"Morning, sweetheart. Did you sleep well?"

Bella yawned. "I sure did. How about you? How was the bed?"

"Perfect, thank you," she handed Bella a cup of coffee, directing her to sit. Esme piled pancakes onto her plate. "Is Edward still asleep?"

"Yeah, he's been so tired that I didn't have the heart to wake him. We don't need to be at the gallery until later anyway. Besides, I wanted some quality Esme time."

Esme smiled. "I'm so glad to hear you say that."

"Where's Carlisle?"

"Emmett picked him up a couple of hours ago. They're golfing."

Bella ate her pancakes and sighed. "No matter how many times I try to make these, I never get them quite right."

"It's the extra dash of mother's love that I add to them."

Bella rolled her eyes.

"Speaking of which, Bella, how's Rosalie's news sitting with you?"

It was inevitable that this conversation would happen, but now? Ugh.

"Can we not turn this into an issue?"

"I'm just worried about you. I don't want to turn it into an issue, but I don't want you to feel like your feelings aren't valid."

"I know, I'm sorry. Even after all these years it still feels like a raw and sensitive subject. There's so much going on right now that it's hard to digest it all.

"I'll be honest, I was so torn when Rose told us. I'm happy for them, but so sad for me, for Edward. I'll never have that pregnant glow, I'll never feel that incredible first bond between mother and child. I'll never be able to give Edward a baseball team of beautiful bronze-haired, green-eyed babies. He'll never get to go through any of the terrifying new dad experiences. I'll never be able to bless you and Carlisle with a grandbaby Cullen, the family name won't continue because Edward is with a genetic dead-end. I feel so empty, so defective."

Bella started to cry. Esme hugged her tightly.

"Sweetheart, I understand why you feel so sad, but don't ever feel as if you are defective. Some of us are able to produce babies and others aren't. Some mothers are biological, and others are blessed with the gift of wonderful children born of another mother.

"You and I may have come into each other's lives late in life, but I felt that bond the moment I laid eyes on you the day you arrived in Forks. I couldn't love you any more if I had given birth to you myself.

"Motherhood isn't about pregnancy; it's about loving and raising a child to the best of your ability. In my case, you, Emmett and Edward were all very special gifts that came of tragic circumstances. I love the three of you as much as I love Alice.

"It hurts right now because your choice to have children was taken away and now your best friend and brother are about to experience something you probably won't get to do yourself. It must be tearing your heart in half."

Bella nodded tearfully.

"I believe in miracles, Bella. I also believe that things happen for a reason. We may not always understand why, but in the end it becomes clear."

"Thanks...Mom." Bella said as she sniffled. Esme was right. She may not have given birth to her, but she'd never been anything but a wonderful mother when Renee died.

"Why are the two most beautiful women in the world crying in my kitchen?" Edward said when he entered the room, "and why are there pancakes getting cold? Geez, Bella, if you're not going to eat them..."

Laughing through her tears, Bella jumped up, wrapped her arms around her plate protectively, and growled: "Get your own damn pancakes, Cullen. These are mine!"

Esme turned back to the griddle. "There are more on the way, Edward. Hold your horses."

He hugged his mom. "Morning, Mom. Did you sleep well?"

"Yes we did. I just love the bed in the guest room. It's like sleeping on clouds."

"Good. So, did Em kidnap Dad and drag him out to the golf course?"

"Yes, they teed off at 7:30. They should be home before lunch. What time did you want to go to the gallery? Should we do lunch here or in town?"

Bella stood up and checked the fridge. "Hmm, we could do it here. I could whip up a curry or a stir fry."

"It's up to you, love. Do you feel like cooking?"

"Yeah, I do. Let's do a curry. Let me get showered and cleaned up," she kissed Edward before hugging Esme. "Thanks for the talk. I'm feeling a lot better."

"Any time, dear."

Edward munched absentmindedly on his pancakes. Esme stood in front of him and brushed strands of unruly hair out of his face.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?"

"Nothing."

"You can't fool your mother."

Big sigh. "Mom, I'm worried about Bella. She's been off since she found out about Rose. She had a meltdown the other night, then she had a nightmare about _him_," Edward shuddered, "then spent the rest of the night painting. Come with me."

He led her to Bella's studio where he had to rummage around to find the canvas he was looking for. When he found it propped up facing the wall, he held it out for her to see.

"Oh Edward, it looks like you when you were a baby. It's...oh. Is this what she painted the other night?"

"Yes, in her dream she had a baby that I'm assuming looked like this. James took it from her and dropped it off our cliff back in Forks while he laughed.

"I'm scared that she's going to relapse, that all the hard work she's put in is going to go to shit because she feels broken again. She hadn't dreamed about him in ages, then this. I don't want to lose her, Mom. I'm scared she's going to push me away. She doesn't think she's good enough. No matter how many times I tell her it doesn't matter if we can have kids, she gets upset."

Esme hugged him and rubbed his back."Honey, if we can get her through everything else, we'll get her through this. We had a nice talk this morning that I hope put things into perspective for her. Give her time to deal with it.

"Now, you need to get ready because you and I have some planning to do. I have a special surprise for Bella."

* * *

_**Ooh, a surprise! I wonder what it could be?**_

_**So, the lemons...okay? Too tart? Too sweet? Rotten? Bruised? Review and let me know what you think, please.  
**_


	4. Ch 4 Endings and Beginnings

**_I can't hold out on you guys. All the reviews and messages have got me all sappy and feeling generous. Here's chapter four. But that's it for the next couple of days, I swear! I need time to edit and type up some more of the story, oh, and to write it. Not to mention a girl's gotta work too, unfortunately. It's a good thing my boss doesn't read fanfics because she might clue in that when i'm squirreled away in the corner in my office _****_being really quiet_****_, I'm not actually doing work, I'm actually writing. Shh...don't tell anyone. _**

_**Esme's surprise for Bella and more lemony goodness ahead.**_

_**SM owns Twilight and my utmost respect. I own an autographed photo of The Zit Remedy from the original **_**Degrassi**_** series.

* * *

**_

The gang gathered for lunch at Bella and Edward's. While everyone was eating, Edward excused himself and said he'd meet them at the gallery at 2. He had some errands to run.

Bella was confused but didn't dwell on it. She was getting nervous about the family seeing her exhibit. It was easy to let strangers see her work because they didn't necessarily know the emotion and turmoil behind them. Her family knew all of it now, all of the darkness that stewed in her for so long. She had infected them years ago and she still carried some guilt for exposing them to James' evil.

They piled into two cars and drove to the gallery. Bella didn't see Edward when she got there and found herself wishing he was there to hold her hand through this. Her nerves were shot.

The family spread out through the gallery looking at all the other pieces. They were going to wait until Edward arrived before she showed them hers. She stood in front of the abstract she had submitted and smiled. While most people would never know what it symbolized, she knew what every brush stroke, splatter, and knife mark meant. It was a piece about freedom, just letting go and going with it.

"Wow, what a powerful piece. Makes me want to sprout wings and take off."

Bella turned around and shrieked: "VICTORIA! What are you doing here?"

"Surprise! You didn't think I'd miss this, did you?"

"But how? Why?" Bella hugged her repeatedly and cried tears of joy instead of the usual pain-filled ones she shared with her friend and therapist.

Victoria laughed. "Baby girl, there's no way I could live with myself if I didn't come witness your graduation from an Ivy League school and unveil this incredible exhibit. We've been seeing each other for how long? You must realize that you're more than just another client to me."

"Thank you," Bella said as she hugged her again, "this wouldn't have happened without you. It means so much that you're here."

"You're family, Bella. Besides, I was missing you and Prince Charming way too much."

Alice and Rose came around the corner and screeched before running to hug Victoria. Before long, Emmett and Jasper were also smothering her.

Edward and Bella held hands as they watched everyone. So much joy had come from such horror. He leaned down and kissed the top of her head. "I love you. I'm so proud I could combust."

"Thanks, baby. I love you too."

Victoria joined them and asked Bella to take her through the entire exhibit, to look at her classmates' work and give her interpretation. When they reached Bella's crowning glory, the entire family joined them.

It was a massive canvas six feet high by twelve feet wide. It had been the hardest piece she had ever done, both physically and emotionally and had taken the better part of a year to get it right.

It was the Edge of the World, Bella and Edward's special place in Forks. It was broken into three segments; the earth, the sky, and what looked like the underworld.

In the sky, twilight was setting; the gradient blues were eating the waning oranges and reds on the horizon, stars were twinkling, and the atmosphere was heavy with angels. There was one female with curly, flame-red hair; one with long bronze hair; one with long, flowing blonde hair; and one with spiky dark hair. The male angels were all mostly fair-haired; one older-looking handsome one with twinkling eyes; one big burly one with dimples, and a lean, curly-haired one. There were two other angels in the centre of the sky: a man and a woman holding hands and smiling. She had Bella's eyes and he had Emmett's smile.

On earth were the silhouettes of a man with unruly hair, and a woman. They were holding hands at the edge of a cliff, surrounded by a meadow alive with plants and vibrant colours. A faint halo hovered atop the man's head.

In the dark, earthy tones of the underworld was a young menacing-looking man with razor-sharp teeth and a look of pure malice in his eyes. Buried in the darkness was also an hourglass, a baby carriage and a pig.

Esme and Carlisle both reached for Bella's hand. Alice walked to stand beside her, while Rose put her hand on her shoulder. Emmett coughed uncomfortably while Jasper patted him on the back. Victoria turned away and wiped her eyes.

"Where and when did you do this? It's truly incredible," Edward whispered to her.

Bella swallowed a lump making its way up her throat. "There wasn't room to do it at home, so I rented a studio here on campus. I also needed a lot of personal space to do this one."

She turned to the others. "What do you think?"

Victoria walked out of the room. Bella ran after her. "Wait! I'm sorry. I didn't mean..."

In a flurry of red hair, Victoria wheeled around, tears streaming down her face. "Oh, Bella, don't apologize for that. It's truly incredible. I don't know what to do, what to say. I'm honoured that you included me as one of your angels."

"Of course I included you! How could I not? I'm here because of you. I don't even know if I'd be alive if it weren't for you. You and Edward got me through it all. Of course you're one of my angels. You're probably the brightest one of the bunch.

"I never in a million years thought that I'd befriend my therapist, but you're so much more. You've always been there for me, even when you didn't have to be. You took Edward and me under your wing and helped us through some horrible things. There are no words to thank you properly. I thought maybe I could put in out there in a painting—my angels, my life, my future and the past I've either buried or am trying to bury, that maybe everyone might understand better how I feel."

Victoria hugged her. "I think everyone is blown away. You're a special young woman, Bella. Never forget that. While things haven't always been perfect and you won't always get what you want, you have so much to offer. I feel blessed to have you in my life. You make me so proud, baby girl."

"Phew! I was worried no one would like it."

"Let's get you back inside. I don't want to hog you to myself."

The rest of the family ran to hug her when they returned. Bella didn't care that the other students and people in the room were staring at her. She was bursting with fruit flavour and nothing could ruin this moment.

Okay, Emmett could. "Who farted?" he asked in the middle of the group hug. Everyone broke apart and groaned. Rose cuffed her husband across the back of his head.

"You big moron."

* * *

With the excitement of the day behind them, everyone staying at Bella and Edward's headed back to the house after supper. Bella took Victoria back to the studio to show her some of her other work and the unfinished picture of the baby.

"Oh, Bella, that's gorgeous," she said as she ran her fingers along the raised edges of the baby's chubby cheeks. "Wow. The eyes, they're so real."

Bella inhaled. "That's as real as any baby I'll ever create will be: two-dimensional and acrylic."

"Don't dwell on it, Bella. It's okay to be sad for a bit, but don't dwell. You've got so many other blessings to focus on. Number one: Prince Charming."

"I'm not feeling as bad as I was. Esme and I had a talk about it. I'm just going to have to suck it up because I refuse to take away from Rose and Emmett's moment. Besides, I'm going to be a fantastic aunt."

"You're going to be the best aunt."

"Geez, don't let Alice hear you say that," Bella laughed, "that child will be spoiled rotten in designer clothes."

"I suppose you're right," Victoria said as she sat down on the couch. "So, tomorrow's the big day. What're you thinking?"

"Are you always in therapist mode?"

"No, I'm asking as a friend. My response, however, will probably be in shrink-mode."

Again, Bella laughed. "Tomorrow, much like any big event in my life, is going to be bittersweet. I'm excited to be graduating; I've worked really hard and I've earned this, but it makes me sad because Mom and Dad won't be here to experience it with me. Mom and Dad Swan, I mean. And then I feel bad because I do have a set of parents here with me and I don't want them to think they're not good enough."

"They understand, Bella."

"I hope so. I love them dearly and owe them so much."

"They love you too, and would never think badly of you for missing Charlie and Renee. It's natural."

"Everyone keeps asking what's next. I don't know. I want some time to explore my options and ideally, I want to go into AT full-time. I just hate the strange looks people give me when I say I want to take a year off."

"Don't let anyone else's expectations get in your way. Take your time. Do what feels right for you. You, Bella, are in control."

"Thanks, Victoria. Really."

* * *

Bella awoke to butterfly kisses flitting across her face. She opened her eyes and smiled. "Morning, baby," she said as she put her arms out for a hug.

"Happy graduation, sunshine," he said as he smiled at her. "I'm sorry it's so early, but I wanted some time alone with you when we won't be completely exhausted. Today's going to be a long one."

She groaned. "Don't remind me."

"Come here, you." He pulled her on top of him and kissed her gently. He tugged at her bottom lip with his teeth until she opened up for him. He slowly dipped his tongue into her mouth and felt Adam spring to life the second he tasted her.

Bella pulled away from his mouth and kissed her way across his jaw until she reached his ear. "I love you," she breathed. "I want you. Only you." She dragged her teeth across his earlobe and he moaned.

"God, Bella, I love you too. I always have."

Edward's hand traveled slowly, sensually down her back and dipped under her boy shorts, pulling them down to her knees. He ghosted his hands back up her thigh and traced the sensitive underside of her ass. She moaned in his ear. He knew it made her crazy when he touched her there.

Bella wriggled out of her bottoms and spread her legs so she was straddling his waist. Edward brought his hands around her ass to Pandora's drenched opening and lazily stroked her from top to bottom.

As usual, Bella began to experience volume issues, so Edward resumed kissing her. He had to be careful when trying to silence her. He had once made the mistake of covering her mouth with his hand and she'd had a flashback to one of the times James had raped her, which prompted a vicious panic attack. She couldn't let him near her for days without trembling.

Bella began bucking against his hand, urging him to penetrate her. Very slowly, he slid two fingers into her. She whimpered against his mouth before pulling away.

"Please, Edward."

"Soon," he said before capturing her mouth with his again. He thrust his fingers in and out slowly, curling them toward the front and just barely brushing against her g-spot. He could tell when he touched it by the sounds she made.

Needing more from him, Bella ground herself back into his hand and down hard on his pelvis. She could feel Adam straining to get free. She wanted nothing more than..."Oh god, Edward!"

With his free hand, Edward shimmied out of his pyjamas, allowing Adam to freely poke Bella.

"Oh my!" Bella clamped down on his fingers and just before she could come, he pulled them out and pushed her back onto his throbbing erection.

Bella let out a cry unlike anything he'd ever heard as she reached orgasm on the first deep thrust. The angle at which he was impaling her made almost every single stroke hit her g-spot. She held onto his shoulders for dear life while he rocked her world. When her second orgasm hit, she sat up, arched back, and braced herself against Edward's thighs while she rode him.

"Oh fuck, Bella, you're perfect," he moaned as his hands slid up her stomach and onto her bouncing breasts.

Bella was beyond the power of speech by this point. There wasn't a coherent thought coursing through her head at all. It was all stars and fireworks.

"I can't hang on much longer, Bella. Please touch yourself! Come with me."

Reaching down with her right hand, she began to rub herself. As she stroked herself, she could feel Adam sliding in and out of her and it threw her over the edge.

"Uhn, Edward, fuck," she grunted before he flipped them over and kissed her fiercely while they exploded together. They cried out at the same time. Edward collapsed on top of her and panted.

"Am I too heavy?" he asked.

"Mmm, no. Don't move." Bella could still feel him inside her and never wanted him to pull out. This moment was perfection.

They lay in each other's arms and held each other tenderly. Bella kissed his neck, then took his earlobe into her mouth. She felt him growing inside her again.

"Come with me," he said, pulling at her shoulders.

"Don't pull out, please," she pleaded. She wrapped her legs around him and held him to her, rocking her hips against him.

"Hang tight."

He started to sit up, and she managed to remain attached to him. "That's it. Hold on."

"Where?"

"Shower."

"Sweet."

Bella clung to him as if her life depended on it. It wasn't easy, nor was it fast, but he eventually managed to get them to the bathroom and turn on the shower without them once separating.

Thankful for the ledge in the shower stall, Edward rested her on the edge while he took a moment to rest. Bella started rocking against him again and whimpering. He couldn't stop himself, he started thrusting deep inside her in hard, fast, strokes. Lazy lovemaking was over; time for a good hard fucking.

His mouth found her right nipple and bit it while Bella reached down and cupped his testicles, slowly tugging on his scrotum.

"You keep that up, Bella, and I'm going to come without you."

"I'm ready when you are. Oh..." her head snapped back and she cried out. Edward joined in as he grunted with each shot he sent into her. He didn't think he'd ever stop.

Finally, he withdrew from her. Bella began to cry and collapsed on the floor of the shower. Edward joined her, holding her to him, brushing strands of wet hair from her face.

"What's wrong, love?"

"Nothing. That was, wow. I wish I could keep you inside me all the time. You make me feel so full. Now I feel so empty...gah...I'm being weird. I'm all sex-hormone drunk or something. Don't listen to me."

"It's okay. I understand. Let's get cleaned up before we run out of hot water."

Graduation passed in a blur. Bella cringed when Emmett shouted out as she received her diploma: "That's my baby sister!" Then there was the truly surreal moment when they announced that her piece _Between Heaven and Hell_ had not only won top prize for best senior piece, but it had been chosen to be hung in a prestigious museum in New York City. It took everything for Bella not to pass out. She could hear her family going crazy as she went back up to receive her award.

She couldn't wait to run into the crowd to find her family. Edward got to her first and hugged her tight. She knew he was crying.

"Why are you crying, baby?" she asked as she wiped away his tears.

"I'm just so proud of you. You have no idea."

"Thanks."

"Hey, quit hogging my sister!" Emmett yelled before he plucked her out of Edward's arms. "Belly, you did it! I'm so proud of you."

"Thanks, Em. Can you put me down, please? You're making me queasy."

"Oh, sorry."

Carlisle and Esme were next. Esme was crying, of course, and Carlisle's eyes were red. They hugged her at the same time. "We're proud of you, kiddo," he said.

"We love you so much, sweetheart."

"Thank you both. If it weren't for you..." she bit her lip to keep herself from crying.

Alice and Rose attacked her and danced around her until she was dizzy.

Victoria stood off to the side. Bella went to her and gave her a hug. "I'm so happy you were here for this, Victoria. Thank you so much."

"Thank you for making me realize every time I see you that my work has never been in vain. Don't ever forget that you are an amazing creature, Bella Swan. You can do anything you set your mind to."

* * *

Emmett and Rose threw a party back at their house. Everyone but Rose got tipsy. The trio of girls put on quite a show dancing to songs they used to listen to in high school. Victoria even joined in with them for a couple of songs. The boys entertained the crowd by doing a very poor rendition of the Macarena. Everyone was laughing so hard that Bella thought she might piss her pants.

It felt good to let loose. Things had been so hectic lately. Now, well...

"Wow," she said aloud to no one in particular, "I'm free."

"What's that, love?" Edward asked.

"I'm free. Holy shit. For the first time in four years, I'm free: no deadlines, no assignments, no panel, no viewings, no consultations, no portfolio assessments. I mean sure, I still have obligations, but it's not so urgent now.

"I can stay up and paint all night and not worry about being late for class."

Edward sighed. "I'm so jealous."

Bella reached out and brushed some hair out of his eyes, then cupped his face. "Oh, sorry, baby, I didn't mean to rub it in. I wish you weren't so busy."

"We'll survive, won't we," he said. "With your help I'll finish med school and we'll finally have our futures sorted out. I can't do it without you."

"Aw, you're all drunk and sappy. I love Sapward."

"Actually, I'm not all that drunk. But seriously, will you stick by me through to the end, Bella?"

"Forever, Edward. Where else would I go? You're stuck with me until the end of time."

Edward got up and went to his father, who handed him something. When Edward turned around, he was beaming. The rest of the family gathered around them and sighed collectively when he got down on one knee in front of her.

"Isabella Marie Swan, I have loved you since the moment I first saw you. There isn't a day that I don't thank god that you are in my life. We've had many ups and downs along the way and we survived them together. Today marks the end of one journey for you and I want the next one to be our journey, our future. I know you worry that you aren't good enough for me, and you're right, you're not good enough for me, you're PERFECT for me.

"If there's anything I am absolutely sure about it's that I can't and don't want to ever live without you, so Bella, will you let me make an honest woman of you and allow me to properly give you the Cullen name by marrying me?"

A hushed silence fell across the room. All eyes were on Bella, who struggled to process what had just happened. _Come on_, she thought, _open up your mouth and say yes._

When words wouldn't come and Edward started to look nervous, she nodded her head fiercely.

Edward smiled and opened a small velvet box that contained the most beautiful engagement ring she'd ever seen: white gold with a single, simple, diamond flanked by two emeralds as green as Edward's eyes.

Tears flowed down her cheeks as she shakily held out her hand. He slid the ring on her finger and kissed her hand. "I love you, Bella, always."

Bella tried to find her voice. "I love you too, Edward."

She leaned toward him and kissed him with so much passion that the room started to spin.

It wasn't until the others started cheering that she remembered they were even there. She laughed against his lips before she announced: "Hey! I'm engaged to my brother! Call the National Enquirer! Call Maury Povich!"

* * *

_**Oh, I know, it's about time he proposes. We all knew he would at some point in time. **_

_**So...what are you thinking at this point? Let me know! Drop me a review!  
**_


	5. Ch 5 Separation Anxiety

_**I'm posting this a day earlier than I had promised...hope you're all cool with that. ;) **_

_**Thanks again for all the love you guys have been giving me. You are the reason the sequel exists, and you guys are the reason I can't wipe the smile off my face. If I could, I would give you all an Emesme hug...a hybrid between a big bear hug and a motherly, comforting one.  
**_

_**Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight, I own a sore hip. Think she'd trade?

* * *

**_

Bella drove Victoria to the airport the next morning.

"I hate for you to go! Two days just isn't enough."

Victoria smiled sadly. "I know. Maybe I'll pop in for a few days when I go on vacation."

"That would be awesome. You know you're always welcome here."

"Thanks, it's good to know I'm wanted somewhere," she grinned, "so, good luck in Montréal, not that you need it. Remember too, that I'm just a phone call away, okay?"

Bella hugged her. "Thanks for everything."

"Anytime, baby girl, and congrats on Prince Charming finally trying to make an honest woman of you."

Blush crept up Bella's face. "Thanks."

"Be good, kiddo."

She watched sadly as her friend, saviour, and mentor walked toward the security gate. One goodbye down, four more to go, one more big sigh.

Alice and Jasper were getting ready to take off when she got home from the airport. Alice was planning a big party for after the graduation and she still had a lot of planning to do. She told Bella to be prepared for a trip to New York that she'd never forget, which prompted poor Bella to shudder.

Carlisle and Esme left the next day and saying goodbye to them was no easier than saying goodbye to everyone else, even though she would be seeing them in New York the following week. They were flying into the city right away and planned to have a few days to themselves before the next big event.

In a complete reversal of roles, Bella was lamenting leaving Edward to go to New York.

"But Edward, I don't want to go without you!" Bella whined while she watched him packing her suitcase. She had all but refused to do it in a fit of pure childishness.

"I know, but one of us needs to be there for Jazz. He came for your graduation; the least you can do is..."

She cut him off. "Sorry, I'm being a whiny bitch, aren't I?"

He grinned at her. "Yeah, kind of. What happened to _taking one for the team_?"

She lay back on the bed and sighed. "I hate flying. I especially hate flying alone."

"How would you know if you hate flying alone if you've never done it before?"

She let out another pathetic sigh.

"I know, Bella, but there's not much I can do. I have to work. We're going to have to get used to this because I'm going to be at the hospital a lot and I'm just lucky I was able to get time off to go to Montréal with you. I have to work some extra graveyard shifts to make up for it."

"I appreciate what you're doing for me, Edward. I hope you can see that. I'm extremely thankful you're coming with me. You were a great French tutor in high school and I'm feeling a little rusty."

Edward flopped down beside her, put his hand up her shirt, and rubbed her stomach. "The only phrases you need to know are: _je t'aime_, and _où est le salle de bain_?"

She laughed. "I didn't think I'd ever hear _I love you_, and _where is the bathroom? _ in the same breath."

"You would if we were in Montréal and Adam suddenly needed some Pandora time in a public place and I decided to tell everyone."

Bella rolled over on top of him. "Does Adam need some Pandora time tonight?"

"My god, you've been a randy little girl lately! Sadly, no, I have to decline. I think I'm too tired." He went to sit up and Bella pushed him back down. He laughed before he kissed her. "You didn't think I'd let you and Pandora leave without a proper bon voyage from me and Adam, did you?"

"I hoped not," Bella nipped at his nose. "Things could have gotten ugly."

Edward smiled against her lips. "We wouldn't want that now, would we?"

It was true; Bella was feeling a lot more randy in recent days. It had been a long and sometimes painful process to get to where they were. Post-traumatic stress had really put a damper on Bella getting a lot of enjoyment from sexual activity. It hadn't taken her as long to get used to Edward kissing her or touching her breasts, in fact, that's all she could manage for years, but the actual act of lovemaking was a true lesson in patience and trust.

Feeling the need to do something for Edward in an attempt to find a way to ease his suffering, she had come up with 'Adam' and 'Pandora.' After James' brutal sexual assaults, she had been terrified of sex, so she tried to take control of the situation by, well, 'taking back the peen.' She had to think of Edward's penis as something non-threatening, so she named it. Although she wasn't a virgin, she had never seen James' cock when he raped her, so in a way, seeing Edward's was something new. Since he was the first man she'd 'seen', she named it Adam. She gave her box the name Pandora—it only seemed fitting because they weren't sure what was going to happen once it was opened.

For a long time it was Bella's hand on Adam. Any time Edward made any moves toward Pandora she'd tense up and freak out. The first couple of times were vomit-inducing moments. Poor Edward felt so guilty, and Bella felt bad that _he_ was feeling bad. She tried to desensitize herself to being touched down there by doing it herself for a while. It was really hard for her to do it on her own for the longest time, but then she began to let go of the fear and in time she experienced her first manual orgasm. After much testing and experimentation, she was finally able to let him touch Pandora, but she was in no way ready for Adam to cross that threshold.

They were camping out in the backyard one summer night in eleventh grade the first time Edward's nimble fingers were finally allowed entrance. Bella was terrified at first, but Edward allowed her to guide him with her hands, to show him what she liked, what scared her, what gave her the 'no feeling.' If she thought the orgasms she'd given herself were amazing, Edward brought her to a whole other level of euphoria. Once, twice, three times, four more...he brought her over the edge repeatedly that night and she fell asleep with a huge smile on her face. Another roadblock demolished.

It was in twelfth grade that Adam was officially introduced to Pandora. It all happened very unexpectedly; Edward and Bella were hanging out at Casa Swan by themselves making out up in her bed. Edward was face-first in Pandora, bringing Bella to those dizzying heights she loved so much when it just didn't seem to be enough. She wanted him to fill her up.

"Edward," she moaned.

"Mmm," he hummed into her slick folds.

"Adam."

He disconnected himself, looking up inquisitively at her. "What about Adam?"

"I want Adam, in Pandora."

Edward paled. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," she said with resolve.

"Are you really sure?"

"Yes, please," she nodded, "can we at least try?"

"Of course, but you're in control, you tell me if and when to stop. Don't suffer through this if it's not working."

"I think I'm ready. I love you, Edward."

"As I love you, Bella."

He gave Pandora one last kiss and whispered something. Bella giggled as it tickled her.

"What was that?"

Edward grinned. "That's between me and Pandora." He pulled himself up so he was hovering over her. "How do you want to do this? Do you want to be on top so you can control it?"

"No, I wouldn't know how to do it and I don't want to break Adam. I trust you, Edward."

"Okay," he said, exhaling. He leaned down and kissed her deeply, pouring everything into her, trying to make her feel at ease with what was about to happen. He didn't want her to have a flashback or a setback of any kind. She'd been doing so well.

He moved down to take a nipple into his mouth while his hand reached down to cup Pandora and stroke her lovingly.

"Edward, please," Bella panted.

"Remember..."

"Quit harshing my buzz!" Bella said as she reached down for Adam. She gave him a couple of quick strokes before helping Edward guide him to her drenched entrance. She inhaled deeply as he slowly inched his way inside. The stretching brought back some darker memories but Bella tried to shove them away.

"HUM EDWARD!" she said loudly through clenched teeth. "HUM PLEASE!"

Edward began to hum her melody as he pushed himself further into her. He watched her face for an indication that she was about to snap, but to his surprise, it went from being extremely stressed to relaxing a bit, to finally a big smile.

"More," she said.

He gave her more.

"Faster," she said.

He gave her faster.

"Uh, Bella, I'm going to..."

"Let it go, Edward. I think I've had enough."

"But you didn't..."

"It's okay. I don't need to," she cupped his face in her hand and looked at him. "Please, I want to watch you come in me."

"Fuck, Bella...so hot...ugh!" Edward's face contorted and Bella felt a change in his strokes. When he stopped, she knew that he must have released.

He collapsed on top of her. "I'm sorry, Bella."

"What for?"

"You didn't come! I failed you!" He hid his face from her.

Bella reached over and pulled his head up so he was forced to look at her. "Edward, unlike in Esme and Alice's cheesy romance novels and Cosmopolitan magazines, not all women reach orgasm the first time they have sex or even every time. This was HUGE! We just had sex, Edward! You just lost your virginity and I just had sex and didn't freak out! Who fucking cares if I came or not, there's always next time."

"But I'm supposed to make you scream my name and see fireworks and stuff like that. I must not be very good at this," he said dejected as he rolled over beside her.

Pulling the duvet up to cover their sweaty bodies, Bella snuggled under and wrapped her arms around him. "Please don't turn this into a macho thing, sweetie. I'm not upset. You gave me some pretty intense orgasms before we got Adam involved in this equation. I'm just thrilled that we made it though our first time together without me throwing up or freaking out. We have so much time ahead of us to work on technique and me being comfortable enough to let go and come with you. Do you understand me?"

He nodded sleepily.

"I'm going to go pee, and then we're going to sleep. You look exhausted."

"Don't be too long, love," he said.

When Bella reached the bathroom, she noticed she was bleeding a little. Her heart started to race and flashes of James brought her to her knees. She didn't want to alert Edward so she tried to push the thoughts back, and thankfully, was able to do so. This was Edward, not James. Edward would never hurt her. James was dead. She could do this.

She walked back to the bed and climbed in with Edward, who was already half-asleep.

"How're you doing?" he asked drowsily.

"I'm good. A little sore, but I'm good. I'm proud of myself."

"Me too," he said, kissing the top of her head. "Sleep now."

* * *

Bella woke up that last morning before New York stuck to Edward, their limbs were tangled, hair all askew, and she couldn't help but feel a little sad.

"Edward," she said, kissing his chest, "wake up, baby."

"No."

"The alarm's going to go off in ten minutes."

"Sleep."

"You're such a Neanderthal in the morning. Fine then, sleep for another ten minutes."

Bella got up and went to take a shower. Sometimes Edward could be so difficult. Ah hell, what was she saying? Edward had few faults. If he wanted to be grumpy in the morning who was she to stop him?

He was sitting on the edge of the bed rubbing his eyes sleepily when she emerged from the steaming bathroom. "Morning, love."

"Well, good morning to you too, Mr. Grumpy Pants."

"Ugh, with the schedule I've got over the next two weeks do you blame me for not wanting to get up?"

"I suppose you're right," she rummaged around in her underwear drawer for a minute. "Edward, where are my royal blue boy shorts and bra?"

"Nowhere."

"Something doesn't sound right with that answer. What are you not telling me? Did you pack them?"

He looked down at the floor, feigning innocence, "yes, I packed them."

"In my suitcase?"

"Uhm, no."

"Where?"

Silence.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, where are my underpants?"

He mumbled something before Bella pinned him back on the bed. "Tell me, Edward."

"Fine! I packed them in my bag. I didn't want you to take them."

"Why?"

He blushed. "I'm going to miss you. I wanted to keep them with me so I wouldn't be so lonely."

"That's so creepy, but so sweet. As long as you're not planning on wearing them, then I'm okay with you keeping them."

"They're my favourite on you."

"Thanks baby. Oh, crap, look at the time. I need to get to the airport and you need to get to the hospital."

Edward held on to her. "Don't go."

"Oh, how the tables have turned yet again. With you working so many graveyards, you won't have time to miss me."

Edward pouted. Bella sucked on his bottom lip. "I love you so much, baby. I'll be back before you know it."

"I love you too. Bring me back a treat?"

"Of course!" Bella hugged her pouting fiancé one last time before she got up, grabbed her rolling suitcase and left.

The taxi was waiting outside for her so there was no time to be wallowing. This would be the longest they had been apart since they met six years ago. Even when she had been hospitalized after James' last attack, he'd stayed with her.

Her pocket buzzed. It was hard to hold back the giggle when she flipped it open to find a photo of Edward pouting and a message that said: _We miss you already._

She replied quickly: _As do we._

Bella's flight was uneventful and she was thankful when she was finally standing on solid ground. Alice attacked her and dragged her to pick up her luggage because there was 'too much to do to be lollygagging around.' Whatever that meant.

"But I just got here," Bella complained as they got into the Porsche.

"I'm no so cruel that we can't stop by the loft to drop off your stuff."

Annoyed, tired, and feeling lonely, Bella snatched her phone from her messenger bag and sent Edward a text. _I *heart* you_. _Pixie being a tyrant. Save me._

"Are you texting him already? Man, you two are pathetic!"

"Alice," Bella said, her voice shaking, "this is my first time bring away from Edward in six years. Can you blame me for feeling a little lost?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were really that upset about it. I won't tease you again."

Bella laughed sadly. "No, I need to get used to it. I'm so dependent on him, I need to grow a pair and stop relying on him so much. It's just hard."

"I know, Bells, we'll get you through it. I have big plans for us!"

"Thanks, sister, mine. Just promise me you're not going to run me into the ground."

She smirked. "Not all the way."

"When are the others arriving?"

"Mom and Dad are here already and the other two should be arriving tomorrow. Sucks that they're driving, but with Rose having such bad morning sickness they figured it would be easier that way."

"You and Jasper drove down for my graduation. What's the difference?"

The pixie revved the engine. "Because we drove in my Porsche and it took half the time. My baby loves to race."

Bella yawned. "Alice, can I take a nap when we get to your place? Just a quick one? I'm hardly functional right now."

"Oh, I suppose," Alice said hesitantly. "But you owe me big time. Did our brother keep you up all night whining about how much he's going to miss you and waxing pathetic using Shakespeare quotes? How do I love thee and all that shit?"

"First, don't ever refer to my fiancé as our brother. That's just so wrong for so many reasons. Second, no, he was too busy doing 'other things' to be quoting Shakespeare. Third, _How Do I Love Thee_ is Elizabeth Barrett Browning's sonnet 43 from _Sonnets from the Portuguese_."

"Okay there, Madame Dartmouth graduate, I will be sure to Google my references from now on."

Bella laughed. "You'd better!"

"So things are good with Edward?"

"Yeah, they are. It never ceases to amaze me that after all these years things are still good, that he's not sick of me and 'my crazy.'"

"Geez, Bella, do you really think he'd ever get sick of you?"

"I guess not."

"How're you doing with the Rose thing?"

Three stuttered heartbeats and a big sigh. Nothing like being blunt. Such an Alice thing to do. "What Rose thing?"

Alice returned Bella's sigh. "I'm not stupid, Bella. I know this pregnancy thing is probably eating you up inside."

"Holy shit! Why does everyone assume that...yeah, you're right, Alice. It's been hard. I've been feeling really guilty about being so self-centered and depressed about it."

"Have you and Edward thought about trying?"

"Well, not while I was in school and really, we haven't not not being trying. Did that make sense?"

"You haven't been using high-tech preventative measures?"

"Ding, ding! Hot dog! We have a weiner," Bella blushed, "we haven't used any measures."

"Ever?"

"Never."

"That doesn't mean it's not still a possibility."

"I suppose anything could happen, but we've had a lot of unprotected sex in the past three years, you'd think it would have happened by now."

"I think you might be surprised. Miracles happen all the time."

Bella looked down at her hands in her lap. "Everyone keeps saying that."

"Have faith, Bells."

_Whatever_, she thought; _faith is for the blind and the hopeless._

All conversation about Bella's baby woes were forgotten when they got to the loft. Esme and Carlisle were quick to save Bella from Alice's grasp. Carlisle declared that she was looking pale and that he was putting his foot down as a doctor and not just a father and ordering her to take a nap.

Alice protested for a nanosecond before her phone went off and she had to deal with a caterer or a client or something. She worked as a stylist for some upscale clients who demanded an awful lot of her, regardless of any other important plans she might have.

In her absence, Bella scooted off to the tiny guest room and quickly fell asleep until the world started to shake when she sat up and screamed "EARTHQUAKE!" She moved to jump from the bed and crawl toward the door when two strong arms grabbed her.

"Gotcha!"

"Emmett! You asshole! You almost gave me a heart attack." Bella slapped her across the back of his head.

"Aw, Belly, I couldn't resist."

"I was trying to sleep."

"You can sleep later. Come on, it's time to party. We're going out for dinner."

"What time is it?"

"Five."

"Wow, I've been out of it for a while," she yawned, "I need to shower."

"Well, hurry the hell up before the pixie puts out an APB for you."

"Wait a minute; you're not supposed to be here until tomorrow. How did you get here so fast?"

"We got things sorted out at the dealership and decided to leave early. Rosie slept most of the way so we weren't stopping every five minutes so she could go pee, and I may have sped just a little bit," he grinned evilly, highlighting his deep dimples.

"Tsk, tsk, Em. You have precious cargo to take care of. You need to be more careful."

"Yes, mom. Now hurry up and get ready, would you?"

They went for dinner at an upscale restaurant not far from the loft. It was a light-hearted event filled with reminiscing and laughter.

"Remember that time when Jasper and Alice got caught in the janitor's closet at school and got sent home?" Emmett said, laughing.

"Remember that time Emmett opened his mouth too much and got kicked under the table?" Alice replied.

A thud was heard before Emmett let out a pain-filled grunt.

"Remember when we went to see Pearl Jam in Seattle and Alice got thrown onstage?" Jasper said, hoping to lighten the conversation.

"God, I'll never forget that night," Bella said, smiling. "When you got Eddie Vedder to bend down so you could whisper to him, I thought I was going to lose it! But then, when he announced that 'the little pixie on the stage has made a request for _Given to Fly_ for her best friend Bella' and they played it, I seriously thought I might pass out. The kicker was that you managed to get us backstage to meet the band after the show. That was truly one of the best nights of my life."

"That was your first concert, wasn't it?"

"It was, and what a first concert it was."

Their food arrived and the discussion died down a little as they ate. Rose poked Bella in the side. "Sweets, are you okay? You're so quiet."

"I'm tired, I guess."

"I know you better than that. You're missing him, aren't you?"

"It just feels weird being here without him. I feel like such a baby for being so bummed out, but it feels like a part of me is missing. I feel empty."

"Hang in there; it's just a couple more days. You do look tired, though. Have you been sleeping well?"

"Not always. I'm sure I'll be fine tomorrow. I just need a good night's sleep. I'm kind of thinking I should have stayed at the hotel. I'm sure Miss Princess Pixie Prissy Pants will have me up at the crack of dawn."

"You're welcome to stay with Em and me."

Bella smiled. "Thanks, Rose, but Alice would feel put out if I didn't stay with her."

"It's an open offer, sweets."

Just before dessert came, Bella had an idea. "Could everyone get together? I want to send a photo to Edward to let him know we're missing him."

With some commotion, they all managed to squeeze together and have the waitress snap a couple of photos with Bella's phone. After picking the best one, she sent it off with the message _We love you! Wish you were here._

Five minutes later, their phones, all of them, went off. It was a photo message from Edward of him in his scrubs looking like a total dork. He had a bedpan on his head and cotton swabs sticking out of his ears and nose. His message read: _Still miss me?_

Everyone laughed so hard that the hostess actually approached the table to ask them to please keep it down, which prompted further raucous behaviour. When the manager came over, Carlisle flashed his black AmEx, whispered something quietly before the manager smiled, apologized, and reprimanded his employee for disturbing their dinner party.

Bella shook her head in wonder. It was just another example of just how loud money talks. Even after all these years, she still found it hard to believe.

* * *

_**Not an overly action-packed chapter. I apologize. If things go well tonight, I should have another one up tonight or maybe tomorrow.**_

_**Thanks for your patience.  
**_


	6. Ch 6 Déjà Vu

_**Hopefully this chapter will be a little more exciting than the last one, although I have to say that I'm thrilled so many of you enjoyed that last one. Hopefully you'll have some love for this one too.  
**_

_**Stephenie Meyer still owns Twilight and I am owned by a cat that insists on draping himself over my arms while I'm typing.  
**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

Alice's girl's day wasn't as torturous as Bella had imagined it would be. She had booked them in to a very expensive-looking spa where they were treated to the most incredible skin treatments, facials, massages, manicures, pedicures and, much to Bella's chagrin, Brazillians. She knew that Edward would be surprised, but she wasn't so sure that she would be going through the torturous procedure on a regular basis just to keep Pandora's runway clear for Adam's landings.

After the spa, they went shopping for dresses to wear to the graduation, and to pick out a few maternity pants for Rose, who was starting to expand on a daily basis. Bella was relieved that going through this with her wasn't making her feel as sad. Maybe things would be okay after all?

That evening, when she spoke to Edward before he went off to work his graveyard shift, she told him about how much fun she'd had shopping with the girls.

"It didn't make you feel bad?" he asked.

"No, it didn't at all. I was actually excited for her. I think I'm over the disappointment, Edward. I think I'm going to get through this."

"Of course you are, love. You've gone through worse things and come through it just fine. I have the utmost faith that this is just a tiny bump on the way to something great."

"Oh, here come the platitudes," she mumbled, grinning.

"What was that? I couldn't hear you, Bella."

"Nothing, sweetie. I have a present for you when I get home."

"Oh you bought me something already? What is it?" he sounded excited.

"It's a surprise. I am pretty sure you're going to enjoy it."

"Could it fit in a breadbox?"

She snorted. "I really don't know how to answer that. You'll just have to wait and see."

"Well, I hate to do this, but I have to run, love. I miss you."

"I miss you too. There's food in the freezer in Ziploc containers for you, and if you dig near the back of the deep freeze you'll find a box of cookies. You can take them in to the gang at the ER."

"You, my Bella, are THE best! I love you!

"I love you more."

He laughed. "I don't have time for your reindeer games tonight. I'll let you win this round."

"Whatever! You'll just say it again when you hang up."

"Give my love to everyone."

"Be safe, Edward."

"Sleep well, Bella."

* * *

Jasper's graduation was long, stuffy and frankly, a little boring. Bella found herself nodding off a couple of times before Emmett elbowed her. She felt Mr. and Mrs. Hale looking over at her disapprovingly. She blushed and tried harder to stay awake.

The reception Alice had planned was unbelievable. There were hundreds of people there. Bella felt out of place and out of sorts, especially when several of Jasper's classmates were hitting on her. One blonde guy in particular was paying a lot of extra attention to her. He made her uncomfortable enough to prompt her to try to hide in the washroom. She just needed to get her wits about her. She still didn't feel completely at ease in a crowd without someone with her, and she didn't feel right about saddling one of her family members into being tied to her all night.

She was standing in front of the mirror fixing her hair and taking deep breaths when she heard the door open, then quietly clicked shut. The panic didn't begin to rise until she heard the lock being slid into place.

"Bella?" a strange male voice called, "are you in here?"

She seized up. She tried to make it to a stall to hide but he grabbed her arm and spun her around.

"There you are," it was the overbearing blonde guy, "I was looking for you."

"Who are you again?" she asked nervously. "What do you want?"

"I'm Mike. We met earlier," he said, running his fingers of his free hand through his hair. He was Edward's size, about six foot one, blue eyes, boy-next-door kind of looks. He smiled at her. "I think it's a great idea that you wanted to come in here."

"What...what are you talking about?"

"I saw the way you were looking at me. I know what you want and I'd be glad to give it to you," he leaned in to kiss her.

"No. No, my god, no! I'm engaged! You're mistaken! I think I should go." A familiar panic boiled inside her, bile burning her throat. She reached into her sweater pocket and flipped open her phone and blindly hit the speed dial key that she desperately hoped was Emmett's.

"Come on, Bella, you know you want it," his mouth came in even closer to hers.

This was SO not happening. She tried to get past him but he shoved her against the wall. His breath smelled of alcohol and it burned her eyes when he spoke.

"I DO NOT WANT THIS! LET ME OUT OF THE BATHROOM NOW!" she said loudly. She hoped that someone was listening on the other end of the phone.

"Don't fight it, Bella," Mike held her face and kissed her, his alcohol-soaked tongue darting sharply into hers as she tried to scream again. His other hand tore at the neckline of her dress and grasped her breast roughly.

"NO! LET ME GO! PLEASE! HELP!" Bella shouted as she struggled against him.

Mike's hand slapped hard across her cheek. "Shut up," he spat.

Bella continued to scream. He slammed her back into the wall a couple of times, in an effort to silence her. In an attempt to stabilize his position, he straddled her leg. When she saw this, she it as her best, and possibly only, window of opportunity; she brought her knee up and caught him in the nuts. He fell to the ground screaming in pain, bringing her with him. She pulled herself out of his grip, crawled toward the door, pulled out her phone again and yelled: "Help! In the bathroom!"

The door burst open and in came Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle and Mr. Hale. Bella was curled up in a ball, rocking back and forth while the men dragged him out. Rose ran in and wrapped her arms around her. "Bella, are you okay?"

"I want to go home. I want Edward," she started to sob.

"Let's get you back to Alice's and we'll take it from there."

"I just..." Bella couldn't finish her thought.

Emmett, Jasper and Mr. Hale dealt with Mike while Carlisle checked out Bella. "Are you okay, dear?"

She nodded tearfully.

"Did he hurt you?"

"I'll survive."

"Are you sure? Your face is red. Did he strike you?"

She nodded again before collapsing into his arms and crying.

Alice stood horrified in the doorway wit her mother. "Bella, I'm so sorry. I...don't..." she didn't know what to say.

"Alice, dear, is there a less conspicuous exit we can use?" Carlisle asked.

She thought for a moment, then led them through a service door. Rose drove Bella back to the loft, where the two of them curled up in the guest room bed and cried together.

"Why?" Bella cried softly into Rose's shoulder, "why?"

"I wish I knew, hon, I really do. You're a gorgeous girl. I know it doesn't give him an excuse to do what he did, but jerks are usually attracted to the pretty ones. Beauty is a curse."

"I want Edward."

"Should I call him?"

Bella thought about it for a moment. "No, it'll just upset him. I'll wait until I get home. There's no point in worrying him. I want to go home tomorrow."

"Why don't you drive with me and Em?"

"I'd like that. I don't think I can deal with a plane full of strangers," she said before starting to cry again. "Where's a teleporter when you need one? I just want to be home, safe in my own bed."

"Soon, sweets. We'll leave early tomorrow morning. I think everyone will understand under the circumstances. Why don't you get some sleep? You look exhausted."

"Can you stay until I fall asleep?"

"Of course."

Rose curled up with Bella in her arms and sang to her. Some of the songs made Bella giggle--Mr. Brightside as a lullaby? She couldn't help but think that Rose was going to be the coolest mom ever.

Eventually Bella fell asleep. Rose got up and went down to the living room where members of the family were returning. Everyone was pale, tired, and visibly upset by the events of the evening.

Alice ran over to Rose. "Is she okay? I'll never forgive myself if that douchebag hurt her."

"She's bruised, scared, and upset. I figure someone is going to have to stay nearby, the nightmares are bound to start soon." She turned to her husband. "Emmett, honey, we're leaving in the morning. We're going to drive Bella home; she's in no shape to be flying. Also, DO NOT breathe a word of this to Edward. She wants to wait until she gets home. There's no need to set him off when she's pretty much okay. Are we agreed?"

The family nodded in agreement and went about getting settled, putting things away and making sandwiches.

A blood-curdling scream cut the tension in the room. Emmett jumped into big brother mode and ran to the guest room. It was like some sick déjà vu. Bella was thrashing and screaming in the bed. He sat down beside her and pulled her into his arms. "Easy, Belly, it's okay."

Rose popped her head around the corner. "Is she okay?"

"Yeah, she'll be okay. Rosie, sweetie, would you mind if I stayed here with her tonight?"

"Everyone's camping out here in the living room. Alice just went out to find a 24-hour Walmart to pick up some air mattresses. I'll go pack up the stuff at the hotel, say bye to Mom and Dad, and check us out. I'll come back and sleep here with the others so we can leave first thing." She walked over to the edge of the bed and placed a kiss on her husband's forehead. "I've never met a family quite like this one."

"They're pretty awesome, aren't they?"

He looked down at his sister, ran his fingers through her damp hair, and sighed. "I thought this would have ended when James was killed. I never expected to be cradling my adult sister and rocking away the monsters.

"That Mike bastard is lucky I didn't go postal on him. If Carlisle and Jasper hadn't stopped me—I could have killed him with my bare hands."

Emmett looked up at his wife, his eyes radiating pain and sadness. "My god, Rosie, why Bella? Why does this keep happening to her?"

"She was wondering the same thing. I wish I had an answer."

Rose grabbed a quilt from the closet and covered Emmett. "Get some sleep, baby. We have a long drive ahead of us."

"It's only six hours, I'll be fine. You, however, are sleeping for two. Get that hot little ass of yours down to get some rest. Oh, could you get someone to bring me a sandwich?"

Rose kissed his lips and promised to send up a snack.

"I love you, Rosie."

"Ditto, big guy."

* * *

Bella awoke to her phone buzzing in her pocket. _Oh, crap, I forgot to call Edward!_

She unhooked herself from Emmett's iron grip and quietly answered the phone. She dreaded this call. She couldn't lie to him and he'd know something was wrong.

"Hi, baby," she said quietly as she slipped into the bathroom.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?"

The sound of his voice brought a lump up in her throat. She tried desperately to swallow it.

"Nothing's wrong."

Big sigh on the other end of the line. "You're lying."

"I miss you," she said, trying to hold back the tears.

"I miss you too, but is that really all that's wrong?"

_Crap. Crap. Crap._

"Yes."

He sighed again. She knew he was pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. She could picture it as clear as if he was sitting beside her.

"You're not going to tell me, are you?"

"I have good news," she choked out.

"Are you crying? Bella, what happened? Is everyone okay? Are you okay?"

"I'm coming home tomorrow. I should be home after lunch."

"Should I pick you..."

She cut him off. "I'm coming with Emmett and Rose."

"What the hell happened, Bella? Why are you driving instead of flying? Why are you coming home early? Why are you crying and what the hell is so bad that you feel you have to hide it from me?"

Bella held the phone away from her face and sobbed. When she composed herself enough to speak, she could hear Edward calling her name frantically.

"Edward, please, calm down. I'm okay. I just miss you. It's been a long day, I'm tired out. I just wish I was there with you right now."

"I swear, Isabella Marie Swan, if you don't tell me what the fuck is going on I'm going to call Emmett and he'll spill faster than an overflowing glass of water teetering on the edge of a table during an earthquake."

"Please, Edward, don't. He's sleeping. I'll tell you everything when I get home. Can you please trust me?"

Five long seconds of silence. It was deafening. Bella choked back a couple more sobs. "Please just tell me you love me. I'll tell you tomorrow. I just can't right now."

"Okay, I trust you, I love you and I'll be waiting for you. Be safe, love. If you need anything, you call, okay?"

She hiccuped. "Okay, I love you too. Can you hum for me, please?"

"Of course."

"Just let me get back in bed."

"What's that noise?"

"Emmett snoring."

"Okay, I really am worried if you're sleeping with Em. I wish you could tell me what happened."

"You promised."

"You're right, I did. Sweet dreams, love, and I'll see you soon. I love you."

"I love you too, Edward. Hum, please."

Edward hummed her melody and she wasn't long falling asleep.

* * *

"Edward? Why are you humming into my sister's phone?"

"Emmett? Is she asleep?"

He yawned. "Yeah, she is. Is she okay?"

"No Em, and she won't tell me why? Can you please shed some light on what the fuck is going on there? Why was my fiancée sobbing? Why are you coming home early?"

"Calm down, little brother. If she didn't tell you, I sure as hell won't either. I need to go before she wakes up."

Edward sighed sadly. "Em, please, is Bella okay?"

"She will be, brother. We'll see you tomorrow."

"Drive safe."

"Always. I've got the three most precious people in the world with me. Now let me get some sleep so I don't fall asleep at the wheel tomorrow."

* * *

Edward barely slept a wink, which was not good. Working doubles and graveyard shifts were starting to get to him. Instead of sleeping, he paced and made himself crazy trying to figure out what had happened in New York.

Sleep finally tackled him in his favourite chair.

Bella crawling into his lap and crying softly awakened him after four restless hours. Emmett carried her bags in, smiled sadly, and then left without a word.

"Bella, love, what's going on?" he held her tight to him and kissed her forehead.

"Please don't be mad."

"I'm sure there's nothing that would make me mad at you. Please tell me what's going on. I can't take this."

Bella inhaled a deep, ragged breath before she began. "A guy in Jasper's graduation class...he...oh God...he cornered me in the bathroom and..."

"Sweet Jesus, Bella!"

Sobs tore through her before she could answer.

"He didn't rape you, did he? Is that bruise on your face from him? I'll kill the bastard!"

"No, he didn't, but he tried. He kissed me and ripped my dress trying to feel me up. He knocked me around a few times before I kneed him. Emmett, Carlisle, Jasper and his dad broke in and saved me."

"Oh, baby, I'm so sorry. If I had been there..."

She sat up and pulled away from him. "DON'T!"

"What?"

"Don't blame yourself. It happened. It sucks. I'm a fucking mess, and I'll eventually get over it, but it's not in any way, shape, or form, your fault."

"It's so hard not to feel that way, Bella. I feel so protective of you. The first solo trip you take and this happens."

"Baby, I'm tired. I just want to go lie in bed and be with you. Hold you. You hold me. Please. No Adam. No Pandora. Just Edward and Bella."

"Anything, love."

Edward stood up slowly and carried her up to the bedroom. He laid her on the bed before walking around to the other side to take his spot.

The bruise on her pale face was getting darker. His fingers ghosted over it and silently cursed the bastard who dared lay a hand on his fiancée.

"I love you, Bella. You're safe now."

"I was so scared; I didn't know what to do-I froze. He was bigger than me and he was really drunk. You'd think that after all I've been through..." she cried harder, "why me, Edward?"

Edward's heart shattered. This was the first time he'd ever heard her ask that. Through the horror of what James had done, she'd never once asked 'why me,' she'd just accepted it as something that sometimes happens to good people.

"I don't know. I wish I knew," he said as tears spilled from his own eyes as he comforted her. Why anyone would want to hurt his sweet girl he didn't know.

She trembled in his arms so he pulled her favourite blanket up to cover her. "We'll get through this, sweetheart. It's just another pot hole in the road."

When Edward woke up at eight, Bella was still asleep beside him. He hated that he had to leave her, but he had to work, there was no way around it.

Propping himself on an elbow, he stared down at her. He watched as her chest rose and fell with each even breath. He observed her face as it twitched lightly. He lamented the bruise on her cheek, just below her eye, that had darkened even further and he sighed. She was so delicate, so vulnerable, and he had to leave her.

He got up and went downstairs to make coffee. As he leaned against the counter, his mind wandered to what Bella had told him about what had happened in that bathroom. How could that parasite think that he could possibly have the right to touch her, to force himself on her while she screamed? Then his imagination flew into overdrive; visions of a faceless monster slapping her beautiful face, ripping her dress, groping her roughly.

In a fit of pure rage, he threw his coffee cup across the room, smashing it on the wall. He slid down to sit on the floor and rested his head in his hands. What kind of husband was he going to be if he couldn't protect his wife?

"Edward? What happened? Are you okay?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, love. I didn't mean to wake you. Just had a...moment."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, now come here, please."

Bella sat between his legs on the floor. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her neck. "How are you? Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah, I did. I'm actually feeling a lot better."

"That's good."

"Yeah, that stupid 'why me' thing snapped me out of it. How selfish of me to say that! How self-centered. It could have been anyone. I'm glad it wasn't Rose, he could have hurt the baby. The fact of the matter is, I'm okay; a little bruised, but in the grand scheme of things, I'm okay.

"I realized that I've been acting really self-absorbed lately, what with being all pissy about Rose being pregnant, and I've been snapping at you so much. I really am sorry."

"It shouldn't have happened to anyone in the first place, Bella. That asshole should have kept his hands to himself."

"Well, it happened and it's time to move on. Now why don't you go grab a shower while I make Brlupper."

"Brlupper?"

"Breakfast, lunch, and supper!"

He laughed as he hugged her. "God, I missed you."

* * *

He was extremely shocked when he was presented with Bella's 'surprise' a couple days later, and much to her chagrin, he was quite fond of Pandora's new look.

"I hope you understand that _this_," she said, pointing at her hairless state, "is not going to be a regular thing."

"Oh, but why not? It's so...hot!"

"Edward, I look like a ten year-old girl, which creeps me out, and not only that, it hurts like a motherfucker to get it done. How would you like it if I waxed your balls?"

He cringed. "Point taken. Would you do it for my next birthday? Or perhaps for special occasions?"

She sighed. "We'll see. Just don't get used to it."

* * *

_**So...the angst makes a reappearance. I know a lot of you wonderful folks were hoping the angst was done for a while, but we all know that isn't going to necessarily happen.**_

_**Montréal is next! Pack your English/French dictionaries, some comfortable walking shoes and your camera because it's going to be a trip to remember. Going to Montréal is ALWAYS a trip to remember.  
**_

* * *


	7. Ch 7 Les bonnes nouvelles

_**Bienvenue à Montréal! / Welcome to Montréal! Here is a warning...while I'm fairly comfortable speaking French, my written French isn't as good. So please ignore any glaring errors in this chapter. I thought that in the spirit of Bella's French not being that great, that I could get away with my boo-boos. I know for a fact that some of you are fluent in French so please go easy on me. :)**_

_**So, Montréal is a beautiful city that everyone should visit at least once in their lives. I've had the pleasure of being there numerous times and I love it more every time I'm there.  
**_

_**Stephenie Meyer still owns Twilight. Speaking of which, did anyone see those pictures of a shirtless Robert Pattinson shooting the reunion scene from NEW MOON? Even though i'm technically old enough to be his very young mother, I would certainly love to own those hip dents. Wow! He shapes up quite nicely!**_

_**Sorry...just a little excited. *blush*

* * *

**_

Montréal was as magical as Bella had dreamed and so much more. The stark contrast between the old, laid-back, European feel of Vieux Montréal and the cosmopolitan rush of the centre-ville was astounding and breathtaking. On one street, Bella swore that they were back in the 1800s, and then just around the next corner she could buy modern designer clothes.

Bella was glad she'd been given a new camera as a graduation gift because there was so much to capture. Le Basilique Notre-Dame (Basillica of Notre-Dame) was an architectural and historical wonder; so rich in colour and art it made her sigh. The sculptures of the prophets along the old spiral staircase intrigued her to no end. She wanted to touch each shiny nook, cranny, and groove to absorb the history and perhaps the passion that went into creating them.

When someone played the first notes on the Cassavant pipe organ, she nearly jumped out of her skin. The tones were loud, rich, and infused her with a sense of awe.

"Edward, it's magnificent," Bella said, holding his hand and leaning into him.

After a few minutes, Edward leaned down and whispered: "Let's go. I thought we could take a carriage ride around Le Vieux Port."

Her eyes brightened. "A horse-drawn carriage ride on cobblestones? Through the old port? How romantic!"

The ride was wonderful. The carriage driver pointed out the various historical buildings in French while Edward translated the bits and pieces Bella didn't understand. She loved listening to him speaking French. It just flowed off his tongue so naturally.

Once the carriage returned to its spot just outside the Basilique, Edward and Bella checked out some street performers not far from City Hall. They were incredible! Fire eaters, sword-swallowers, men who could walk on beds of nails; it all felt so surreal. You wouldn't see anything like this on the streets of Hanover or Forks.

At the next metro station, they hopped on and headed to Le Musée des Beaux-Arts where Bella lost herself amongst the paintings. Like a kid in a candy store, she dragged Edward from piece to piece, chattering like a chipmunk.

By the time they made it back to the hotel, Bella was dead on her feet. Edward ran a bath for her and ordered room service. She had fallen asleep in the tub and he felt bad waking her when dinner arrived. She made it as far as the bed and fell asleep, wrapped up in a towel, too tired to eat.

A loud rumble woke her the next morning. "Ooh," she moaned.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked, concerned.

"Hungry," she grunted.

Edward got up and went to the mini-fridge before putting something in the microwave. "You slept through dinner, love. I hope leftovers will suffice."

"I'd eat the ass end off a grizzly bear right about now," she said before yawning, "man, I'm still tired. I suppose we did cover a lot of terrain yesterday."

"That we did," Edward said as he brought over a steaming plate of food, "I'm going to order breakfast. Will you be wanting some or will this be enough?"

"If you don't mind, I'd like to find a place called Cora's. I read about it online. They only serve breakfast."

"If you can spare a couple of bites, I could probably wait until we find one."

After finding Cora's and eating a wonderful brunch, they hopped on the metro to go to the Biodome. Located on the outskirts of the city in le parc Olympiquet, the Biodome houses several different ecological environments and their indigenous inhabitants, both flora and fauna. As much as Bella enjoyed watching the tiny monkeys and painfully slow movements of the sloths, she really loved the penguins. She and Edward spent the better part of an hour seated in front of them, watching intently, naming them, and making up stories suitable for soap operas.

The obsessive-compulsive beaver was also entertaining for the first few minutes, until it became depressing. The damn thing swam back and forth in the same pattern, over and over again.

"I'm sad, Edward."

"Oh, has the beaver got you down?"

"Maybe. Let's go back to the hotel. I'm tired and I need to work on my speech."

"Sure thing, love."

Bella fell asleep leaning against Edward on the metro. They almost missed their stop because he had a hard time rousing her. She had slept more than he had recently and yet she was still nodding off all the time. He was beginning to worry about her.

Back at the hotel, Bella flopped onto the bed and sighed. Edward sat beside her and put his hand on her forehead.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"Sure, why?"

He continued to run his fingers through her hair. "You're just so tired all the time. I'm starting to worry about you."

"Oh, stop fussing, Edward. I'm okay."

"Would you humour me and see the doctor when we get home? Maybe get him to run some tests?"

"Holy crap, Worryward, I'm fine."

"Please? I'll stop bugging you if you'll go."

"Fine."

"Good."

"Can you pass me the laptop? I need to check my slide presentation."

Edward got up to retrieve it from her bag. When he returned to the bedroom, she had already fallen asleep. He set the alarm on the nightstand, crawled onto the bed beside her, and took a nap.

The alarm went off at seven. Edward tried to wake Bella but she grumbled something about cramps or a backache or something. He found some Tylenol and handed them to her with a glass of water.

"Bella, love, do you want dinner?"

"No, you go ahead."

"Are you sure you're feeling okay?"

"I feel like I'm PMSing or something. My back is aching."

"Want me to rub it?"

"Would you?" she smiled at him.

"Of course."

Edward had become rather familiar with Bella's messed up menstrual issues. Some months she had a period, others she didn't. The months when she did, she suffered terribly with the cramping, the heavy bleeding, the moodiness, the fatigue...

"I bet you're tired because you're about to have your period," Edward surmised as he worked the muscles in her lower back.

"Mmm," she moaned. "I don't know. If it was going to happen, it would have happened already."

"Hopefully this will pass before your presentation."

"Mmm, yeah."

Bella fell asleep again. Restless and bored, Edward decided to go for a walk to find some food and Midol for her. He left her a note in case she woke up so she wouldn't worry, then headed out.

He explored their end of St. Catherine street before deciding on what to grab for supper. As soon as he spotted the sign, he knew what he had to get. Bella wasn't the only person who had researched the city, he had spent some time on Google too, and he wanted to try poutine--fries, gravy and cheese. He didn't think Bella would mind, since she always craved grease at this time of the month.

Bella's voice was audible when he returned to the room. She was on the phone with Alice. How did he know it was his sister? How could it not be—he could hear her squealing in the background as Bella told her about what they'd been doing. He also heard her yelling at Bella for not going shopping.

"Fine, fine, Alice, I'll hit the shops tomorrow. Yes, I'll have Edward take photographic proof. Yes, Alice. He's standing right here. You can tell him yourself," she passed the phone to him.

"Hey, sis," he chuckled. "Yes, I will take her shopping. Yes, I'll take pictures. Fine. I love you too. Bye Alice."

Bella grinned at him. "She's something, isn't she? Mmm, what smells so good?"

"Ah, mon amour, I have brought back a Québecois delicacy. I'd like to introduce you to poutine."

"Poutin?" she mispronounced it.

"No, love, it's pronounced poo-teen. It's fries, gravy and cheese curds. If you asked for poutin you'd get a cheesy whore with gravy. What I have in my hand is much tastier."

Sitting on the bed beside his fiancée, he pulled out a large Styrofoam bowl and placed it in her hands. She inhaled and smiled at him.

"It smells divine."

Edward handed her a fork and they both dug in.

"Oh god, this is so good," Bella moaned, "how did we not know about this before now?"

"It's probably better for our arteries that we didn't."

"Stop being practical, Edward, you're harshing my buzz!"

He laughed. This was his Bella, not the lethargic Rip Van Winkle he'd been living with. This quirky, sarcastic, and silly woman was his Bella.

"Oops," Bella said, "I'm spilling gravy on myself."

Edward looked over and sure enough, there was a glob of gravy on her chest. "Mm, let me take care of that for you. We don't want to waste any," he said, leaning over. He licked up the spillage, letting his tongue linger on her skin. "Tasty," he said.

"Yeah, the gravy is pretty damn tasty," she said. Her breath hitched as his tongue dipped below the V neckline of her shirt.

"Wasn't talking about the gravy," he said, his voice deepened by lust.

"You sneaky boy!"

He looked up at her through his long eyelashes and grinned. "You love it."

Bella reached down and pulled his face out of her cleavage. "I most certainly do. Oops," she said as she deliberately dripped more gravy in the valley between her breasts. "Edward, love, would you mind?"

He groaned. "It would be my pleasure."

His tongue darted out and swirled around in the congealing gravy, spreading it out. "Love, can you lose the shirt? Beef drippings and cotton don't compliment each other very well."

Bella lifted her arms above her head so he could remove the offending article of clothing. He smiled when he saw that she was wearing a front-fastening bra. With one smooth quick motion, it flew open and her perfect breasts sprung free. Saliva pooled in his mouth at the thought of tasting them.

He watched as she scooped up some of the gravy and cheese and swirled it over her nipples.

Adam was pounding at the zipper of his pants to be freed. Edward groaned and shifted himself before taking her left nipple into his mouth. As he cleaned up the mess she'd made with his tongue, his hand snaked down to visit Pandora. The heat that eminated from between her legs made Adam throb painfully. He ran his fingers up and down her covered cleft which was getting damper by the second.

"Edward, fuck..."

"Hold tight, I still need to clean up the right one."

"Hurry, oh god, please hurry."

"Patience, love, patience."

Before he could make his way to the right nipple, she sat up and tried to flip him over. "I NEED YOU NOW!"

"Holy shit, Bella; what's up with the aggression?"

"I'm sorry," she said as she ground herself into his pelvis "do you want me to stop?"

"God no, it's hot!"

"Are you sure?" She sat up and pulled down her pants and underpants while Edward undid his jeans and pulled them down. He almost swore he heard Adam give a shout of victory.

"Oh, god, yes," Edward moaned when Bella impaled herself on him. "Oh, dear god, yes."

* * *

Bella drew lazy circles around Edward's nipple as he tried to steady his breathing. It had been one very intense session. There was no lovemaking involved. It was fucking at it's very best and Edward wasn't sure his heart was ever going to stop racing.

"What the fuck was that?"

Bella put her head on his chest and sighed. "That was incredible."

"Not that I'm complaining, love, but what's gotten into you? You're either comatose or you're riding Adam like he's a prized bull at the rodeo."

"Giddy up, cowboy," she giggled. "I don't know, Edward. I'm exhausted and I'm horny. Maybe I'm hitting my sexual peak? Maybe all the sex is making me tired?"

"Speaking of tired, I'm going to get some sleep if that's okay. I'm wiped out."

Bella propped herself up on an elbow. "What? No round two?"

"If we can do round two with me sleeping through it, go for it."

"Please, sir, I want some more." Bella batted her eyelashes at him.

"I can't even believe I'm saying this, but no, love, I can't. I'm too tired. Adam was wrung out on that first round. He's got nothing left."

"Fine. Goodnight, Edward."

"Are you mad at me?"

Silence.

"Bella?"

Sniffle.

"Are you crying?"

"No," sniffle.

Edward sat up and turned on the light. "You are crying! What's going on?"

After two more sniffles the dam broke and Bella wailed. "I don't know what's wrong with me! I think I'm going crazy."

He hugged her. "Sounds to me like you're hormonal. Why don't we get some sleep and we'll figure this out in the morning."

Sniffle. "Okay. I love you."

"I love you more."

* * *

Edward woke up a couple of hours later, sweating. "Oh my god."

Bella stirred beside him. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know why I didn't see it before."

"What?" she mumbled into his chest.

"Stay here, I need to go to the store."

"Are you sleepwalking, Edward?"

"No, love," he kissed the top of her head, "you're dreaming. Go back to sleep."

"Okay."

After crawling out from under her, he threw on a pair of pants, a sweater and some shoes before running out the door.

"Scusez, y-a-t'il un dépanneur ou un pharmacie ouvert a cet heure?"

The desk employee informed him that yes; there was a 24-hour pharmacy down the road. Edward rushed out and ran all the way down the street until he found it. He located what he needed, purchased many, and ran back.

"Bella, wake up."

"No."

"Please, Bella, wake up."

"Sleeping."

"Bella, I think you're pregnant."

Bella shot up off the bed, suddenly very awake. "What did you say?"

"I said, I think you might be pregnant."

"That's impossible."

"Come pee on some sticks for me. Let's find out."

"I'm dreaming, right?"

"No, you're awake. Come on, please?" he pleaded with her as he pulled her toward the bathroom.

"Okay, but I don't want you hovering over me while I pee, got it?"

"Got it."

"Don't be upset when they come out negative."

"I won't."

"Don't listen to me, either. I'm pee shy."

"I won't. In fact, I'll go lie on the bed and put on your iPod."

Bella closed the door and tried to pee on each stick separately, which didn't work, so she peed in a sterile plastic cup (compliments of the hotel) and dipped them into it. She left them to marinate for the recommended time and rejoined Edward on the bed. She pulled the earbuds form his ears. "Why do you think I'm pregnant? Seriously? I can't get pregnant."

"You're tired all the time, you're horny as hell, you're emotional, you were complaining about your breasts being tender. It all adds up."

"I thought they were sore because of that jackass in New York." She sighed. "I don't want to get my hopes up, Edward. Everyone else believes in miracles, but I don't."

"It's better if we know now in case you are pregnant. You'll need to get to the doctor right away."

"Well, time's up. Shall we go see?"

Edward stood and extended his hand to her. "We shall."

"These urine-soaked sticks may or may not be about to change everything," Bella said nervously.

"Are you afraid?"

"No."

"Well, let's do it."

* * *

"Are you sure?" Bella asked as she paced in front of the bathroom door.

Edward sighed. "Yes, love. Every stick but one says the same thing."

"You're positive?"

"Yes, Bella."

She walked over to the bed, sat down and stared at the bathroom door. Tears streamed down her face.

Edward finished cleaning up the mess she'd made in the bathroom before he came out. He sat beside her and held her hand.

"We're having a baby," she said quietly.

Unable to contain his excitement any longer, Edward pounced on her and kissed her. "We're having a baby!" he said against her lips, "we're having a fucking baby!"

She pushed him off of her. "I don't want to get too excited about this until I see a doctor."

"You're looking at one," he teased.

"A gynaecologist, Edward. They told me this wasn't possible. Oh my god, I got drunk graduation night! I had a couple of drinks at Jasper's party!"

"Don't worry, Bella, it's not as if you drank heavily and did it every day. We'll get you in to see Dr. Dimitri when we get back."

Edward ran his hand along the very slight swell of her belly. "Hi baby, I'm your daddy. You're probably the size of a very tiny pea right now but that doesn't mean we're not excited. You're going to be our miracle baby. You're going to make your mom believe in miracles. I can feel it."

Bella yawned. "Honey, I need to sleep. I have a big day ahead of me."

"Okay, get some rest. I love you."

"I love you too."

"Goodnight, little tiny baby. We love you."

* * *

Bella woke several hours later to sunshine streaming into the hotel room and Edward emerging from the bathroom in nothing but a small towel.

"Mmm...morning," she said as she stretched. "What time is it?"

"Nine. You should get ready to head out. We need to be at the conference by eleven."

"Oh shit! Why didn't you wake me sooner?"

"You were sleeping so peacefully that I didn't have the heart to wake you."

Bella jumped out of bed a little too fast and tripped. Edward dropped his towel and dove to catch her before she fell.

"Oops," she said. "I'm a little off-balance. Sorry about that."

"Are you hurt?"

"No, I'm fine." She righted herself, gave him a kiss, gave Adam a little squeeze and walked to the bathroom. "I had the strangest dream last night."

"What was that?"

"I dreamt I was..." she stopped and looked in the trashcan in the bathroom. "Oh my god, it wasn't a dream, was it?"

She put her hands over her belly. "Edward?"

He poked his head around the door. "Yes, love?"

"I'm really pregnant?"

"Looks that way."

"Oh. Um, okay. I'm going to shower. I won't be too long. Should we grab breakfast here or on the way?"

"Are you sure..."

Bella snapped back at him. "Yes, I'm fine. I need to process all of this and today is not a good day to do that. I have to go speak to a conference full of therapists and survivors about the benefits of AT and all I can think about is whether _this_," she pointed at her abdomen, "is real and if it's going to turn out okay. Could you do me a favour? Could you go through my slide presentation and make sure it's all there? You've seen enough of them that you could probably get up there and do it yourself."

"I don't think I'd be quite as enthralling as you are."

"Edward? I'm sorry I snapped again. I really don't mean to do it."

"It's okay. I'll survive. Now go get clean and I'll get your presentation all sorted out."

* * *

Bella made it through her presentation better than she had anticipated. Once she began talking, all thoughts of babies, fears, and doubts dissolved. She even managed to respond to some questions in French, much to the delight of the crowd.

After the session was over, several therapists cornered her to talk about setting up AT programs through their offices. They gave her business cards and talked about contracting her services.

A young woman approached her timidly. Bella smiled at her and held out her hand. "Hi there, I'm Bella."

"Bonjour, Bella. I'm Geneviève. Je voulais te dire que j'ai bien aimée la presentation. Eu, my English is not so good. Your French is better."

"C'est mieux en français?" Bella asked, hoping the girl would say she could handle talking to her in English.

"Oui."

Bella cringed internally. Where was Edward?

"Geneviève, ça sera mieux si mon fiancé Edward était ici. Son français est meilleur que le mien." If Edward were there he could help her with translation. She knew she was butchering the French language.

"I..." Geneviève paused, searching for the right words, "I can comprehend English. Speaking is hard."

"Okay, I can understand most French, let's try this."

Bella and Geneviève had a truly bilingual conversation. Bella spoke in English, Geneviève in French. She wanted to thank Bella for coming to speak at the conference. She was an abuse survivor. She had been kidnapped when she was a small child and her captors had inflicted horrific wounds on her. They held her captive until she was able to escape at the age of twelve. She had been so traumatized that she didn't speak for three years, prompting doctors and therapists to think that she was mentally challenge or had suffered a serious head injury and discussed putting her in an asylum. She couldn't communicate any other way as she'd never learned to read or write as a child and she was unable to utter a sound. Someone finally put paper and paint in front of her and it was as if they had given her the world.

It was through art therapy that she was finally able to break through. It hadn't been easy. She had to learn how to read and write once she was able to convey that she wasn't mentally compromised, she was just illiterate. After many years of therapy, she was finally able to speak, although she still doesn't like to do it.

"You've just said an awful lot to me, Geneviève. It must have taken a lot of courage to do that."

"Tu me comprends mieux que les autres. C'est plus facile a parler de l'abus avec quelqu'un qui était dans la même position.

"Tes peintures me touchent au coeur."

Bella wiped tears from her eyes. "I know, it really is a lot easier to talk to someone who understands, someone who has been through it. I'm glad that my paintings have touched and inspired you. I'd love to see yours sometime."

"Couriel?"

Bella scrunched her eyebrows. There was a word she didn't understand.

"Couriel? Uh, e-mail?"

"Oh! Yes, can you e-mail them to me?"

"Oui! Certainement!"

Bella handed her a business card. She had scoffed at Edward when he bought them for her, but they had really come in handy.

Edward appeared at her side. "Made a friend?"

"Edward, je te présentes Geneviève."

"Enchantez de faire votre connaissance, Geneviève." He didn't extend his hand to her and she smiled. He nodded knowingly and returned her smile. She was clearly not comfortable around strange men and Edward had picked up on it.

Geneviève gave Bella a hug, smiled at Edward and left.

"She's seen a lot," he said, matter-of-factly.

"Yes," Bella replied and left it at that. It wasn't her story to tell. "So, where were you all this time?"

"I was having an interesting conversation with someone who would really like to meet you. Come with me."

He led her through the now dwindling crowd until they reached a kindly looking gentleman who smiled warmly at them.

"Bella, it's so nice to finally meet you in person. I've heard so much about you. My name is Dr. Carmen."

"Oh! You're the organizer of the conference. Thank you for inviting me to come. Montréal is wonderful."

"My dear, it's an honour to have you here. Dr. Taylor and I are old friends. Actually, she was a student of mine. We've stayed in touch over the years and your case was a very fascinating one."

Red crept up Bella's face. "I'm nothing special, sir."

"But you are. You are strong, outspoken, eloquent, and very talented. Some colleagues of mine approached me to discuss putting together a book, actually, two books initially. We'd like to put together a manual of sorts, about AT for the professional community. While the concept of AT isn't new, it seems that there is a resurgence in interest. We would like to examine it from a more modern perspective, use more participant input.

"We'd also like to put together a book of art produced by AT clients."

"That sounds wonderful, sir, but what does that have to do with me?"

"We want you to be involved in both projects."

"How?"

"We would like to use your story in the manual."

Bella was shocked. "I guess that would be fine."

"We also want you to put together the photo book. We want you to write the preface, choose the pieces to be showcased, interview the artists, and we want some of your work in there as well."

Bella blinked a couple of time trying to process what Dr. Carmen had just said. "Uh, sir, I don't have any sort of formal AT training or credentials. I'm not licensed, at least not yet. I hope to be someday."

"It doesn't matter dear, not for this project. Maybe for a future one, but not this time."

"Are you serious?"

He laughed. "Very much so, Bella."

She grabbed for Edward's hand. "I need to sit. I'm a little dizzy."

Edward helped her to a chair and guided her head between her knees.

"Are you okay, dear?" Dr. Carmen asked.

"Just a little overwhelmed, I'll be okay."

"I'm going to leave my card with Edward. Please consider it and give me a call."

"Yes, sir."

"Edward, son, Bella, dear, it was truly an honour to meet you both. I look forward to hearing from you soon."

Edward stood and shook Dr. Carmen's hand. "Thank you, sir."

Bella weakly held out a hand, her head still between her knees. "I'll be in touch, sir."

After a few moments, Bella lifted her head slowly. "Did that really happen?"

"Yup."

"Wow, this has been one very intense twenty four hours. Please don't pinch me just yet."

"Feeling steady enough to get out of here?"

"Yes, please. I'm starving."

"Dr. Carmen told me about a fantastic Italian place called La Cucina. He said that we had to try the smoked chicken fettuccini."

"Sounds good to me. Let's go."

* * *

_**I hope my butchering of the wonderful French language hasn't turned anyone off the rest of the story. I also apologize if Bella and Edward's unorthodox use of poutine won't ruin it for those of you who eat it on a regular basis. **_**Sophilia Tantrum**_**, I'm looking at you! LOL!**_

_**AND, the big elephant in the room has finally been acknowledged. Those of you who have been saying from the get-go that Bella was pregnant were right. It has been REALLY hard not to say anything and I'm really excited about the upcoming chapters.**_

_**Thanks for all the wonderful reviews. You guys are truly the best!  
**_


	8. Ch 8 Peanut Confirmation

_**Wow, this chapter seems so much shorter than the other ones...hmm...anypoo, I'm glad so many of you were happy that Bella and Edward finally figured out she was pregnant. I suppose if you aren't expecting something (no pun intended), you aren't looking for the signs.**_

_**Stephenie Meyer still owns Twilight and I want to own the sunrise.

* * *

  
**_

Edward and Bella spent the remainder of their last full day in Montréal eating wonderful food, shopping (and yes, documenting it for Alice) and soaking in the culture.

"I hate to leave," Bella said as she ate leftover Pad Thai from lunch, "I really fell in love with this place."

"By the sounds of it, if you work on this project with Dr. Carmen, you'll be coming to visit more often."

"It won't be the same without you here with me, though. I'll never be able to eat poutine again without thinking about mind-blowing sex."

He laughed. "You probably shouldn't be eating it a lot anyway, especially not now. But seriously though, it'll be good for you to travel alone. You'll become more comfortable doing it."

Bella's jaw dropped. "Did you just say what I thought you said? Mr. Super Overprotective thinks it would be good for me to travel alone?"

"Well, for as long as it's safe for you and the baby to fly."

"Oh yeah, that. Can we not talk about it until we see the doctor?"

"Okay."

"Thanks. Now stop hogging the leftover fettuccine!"

"Yes, my love, your wish is my command."

"Stop being a dick, Edward," she said, jumping over and straddling him. "Give me a bite."

"What do you say?"

Bella rolled her eyes at him. "Now."

"Wow, someone's being demanding." He held a forkful of the rich, garlicky pasta to her lips. "Now really, what do you say?"

"Please."

"Atta girl. It wasn't that hard, now, was it?"

"No, I guess not."

He put the pasta in her open mouth and she smiled.

"Can we move here? The food is too good to leave it behind."

"Maybe someday, once I'm done med school when the world will be our proverbial oyster."

"I never understood that saying. I still don't get it. What does that mean, _the world is our oyster_? Does it mean that it's hard-shelled? Slimy? What?"

"Don't ask me, I've never understood it either."

"Who comes up with those ridiculous sayings in the first place?"

"Your guess is as good as mine, love. Now, can I please have some of that Pad Thai before you eat it all?"

* * *

Edward got up early to pack, and to put in a call to Dr. Dimitri back home. He was able to squeeze them in that afternoon. Bella would probably be grouchy, but they needed to know for sure that she was, in fact, pregnant.

Just thinking about her actually being with child, with his child, made him want to explode. He knew that he shouldn't get his hopes up too high in case something happened, but he couldn't help but feel elated at the thought.

Surely they'd been through enough already, right?

Bella woke up in time to choke down a bagel, grab a shower and run out the door. As much as she hated to rush, she was thankful for the extra sleep.

Edward rushed them to the luggage carousel as soon as they landed and out to the Volvo, which he'd parked at the airport.

"Geez, Edward, what's the big rush?"

"We need to get to Dr. Dimitri's office. I don't want to hold him up since he was so good about squeezing us in so soon."

"Edward, I'm scared."

"I'm not driving that fast, Bella."

"No, about the...the baby."

"I thought we weren't going to talk about it until we know for sure."

Bella bit her lip. "You're right. My rule and I broke it. Sorry."

They drove in silence until they reached the hospital. Dr. Dimitri was waiting for them in his office.

"So, Bella, Edward told me that you took several pregnancy tests and most came back positive."

"Yes, sir," she replied quietly, "five out of six."

He laughed. "No one should ever accuse Edward of not being thorough. So, what prompted you to take so many tests in the first place?"

Bella blushed and looked at Edward, silently begging him to answer for her.

"Well," he said, "Bella has been sleeping a lot, her breasts have been tender off and on, she's been moody and uh..."

"Horny?" Dr. Dimitri finished for him with a grin.

"Yes."

"Those are all signs of a possible pregnancy. Have you two been using contraceptives?"

"No."

"Were you trying to conceive?"

Bella's eyes widened. "No, I mean, as you know, I have been told repeatedly that pregnancy is not a possibility for me."

"Well, doctors have been wrong in the past, and the human body is a wonderful thing. Why don't we draw some blood, get a urine sample, and see what we can find out."

"When will we know?" Bella asked.

"Well, if we can get it done now I'll send it to the lab immediately and you should receive a call tomorrow."

"Okay," Bella took a deep breath, "let's do this."

* * *

The phone rang at nine that night. Bella answered it, spoke quietly to the other person, then hung up.

"Edward, what time do you work tomorrow?"

"Midnight, why?"

"Could you spare an hour?"

He looked confused. "Sure, what for?"

Bella looked down and mumbled something.

"What was that?"

She looked up at him, tears streaming down her face. "I said it was for our first pre-natal consultation."

His jaw dropped. "You're pregnant?"

Bella's smile said it all.

"You're really pregnant?"

"Four or five weeks, they think." She ran over and hugged him. "Edward, we're going to have a baby!"

Edward held her and sobbed. "Oh Bella! This is incredible! Wait until we tell..."

She pulled away. "No, we can't tell anyone yet. Please. I want to make it through the first trimester before we tell anyone."

"If that's what you want, then I'll try not to let it slip."

Big sigh. "I am so happy, but I'm scared shitless. What if I can't carry the baby to term? What if I miscarry? What if..."

"What if we wait to worry until we have a reason to worry. Stressing yourself out won't make things any easier."

"Oh, man, are you going to go all Safeward on me? Are you going to watch my every move now?"

"Maybe," he put his hand on her abdomen. "I have to keep my two most important people safe."

"I can't even believe this is real," she said quietly. "Holy shit, Edward, a BABY!"

"So what time is the appointment?"

"Ten. Should we go to bed? I know I could sleep."

"You go ahead, love. I have some studying to do."

She kissed him deeply, inciting a moan from him. "We don't have to sleep right away," she batted her eyes at him.

"Okay, fine, I'll come to bed until you fall asleep."

"Thanks, baby."

* * *

"Bella, Edward! Come on in." Dr. Dimitri said, greeting them warmly. "Bella, I'm going to need you to step into the examining room and slip on a robe. Edward and I will wait in here until you let us know that you're ready."

Bella closed the door behind her and quickly changed into the skimpy paper robe. She had been subjected to more than her fair share of internal examinations over the years following her abuse that it had become second nature to be comfortable sitting on a table covered in loud paper, wearing a piece of paper, her legs covered by a thin, but warm, sheet.

"I'm ready," she called out as she sat up on the table, adjusting the sheet.

Dr. Dimitri and Edward entered the room together.

"So, Bella, based on the blood work and the urine test, we figure you're about six or seven weeks along. If you don't mind, I'd like to give you an internal examination just to make sure everything is progressing properly. I'll also be doing a pap smear to check for irregular cervical cells."

"Sure, fine. This is going to sound kind of weird, but would you mind if Edward watched you? He's really into the technical medical end of this."

"If it's okay with you, then I have no problem with it at all. It's a great learning experience for him. Have you ever considered OB/GYN as a specialization, Edward?"

"No sir, I was thinking trauma or pediatrics."

"Wow, two very different ends of the spectrum. Well, either way, it's great that you now have a hands-on opportunity to learn about the wonders of the female reproductive system. Bella, do you mind if he slips on some gloves so I can show him a few things?"

"No, go right ahead. Why not invite the nervous looking guy from the waiting room to come in for a peek," she laughed. "I'm kidding. Obviously Edward's been down there before, so I'm okay with it."

"Thanks, honey!" Edward snapped on a pair of gloves.

Bella flinched at the sound. "Just don't get rough, okay?"

He grinned back at her. "I won't."

The examination took a lot longer than expected because Edward insisted on feeling everything that the doctor was telling him about, and he kept asking questions. Bella just lay there and rolled her eyes through the whole thing. All in all, Edward was pretty gentle. Dr. Dimitri, however, was a little rougher. Once they were done with their poking, prodding, discussing cervix thicknesses and mucous plugs, Dr. Dimitri told Bella she could get dressed and join them in his office.

"So, Bella, I think it's still safe to say that you're about 7 weeks along now and everything looks and feels normal so far. I'd like to do an ultrasound as early as next week, just to be sure that all is well. Since I'm going to classify this as a high-risk pregnancy, I'll be asking you to go every 3-4 weeks for further ultrasounds and appointments, just so we can stay on top of things. The closer we get to your due date, the more I'll have you coming in.

"I'm going to give you a list of prenatal vitamins to take and if you begin to experience debilitating morning sickness I can prescribe a medication help with that.

"Please promise me that you'll contact my office immediately if you experience any bleeding, cramping, or clumpy discharge. If you feel that something isn't right, act on it. Don't hesitate to call. You know your body better than anyone else."

Bella paled, her head started to swim. Edward put his arm around her shoulders. "Are you okay?"

"I'm scared."

Dr. Dimitri smiled reassuringly at them. "Don't be scared, Bella. If we are mindful of things, we should be able to get you through to the end of your pregnancy. These first few weeks are of the utmost importance. If we can get you through to the second trimester, we have a better chance of getting you through to the finish line."

"I'm still scared. After being told for so many years that this would never happen, here it is. What if this is just a false alarm? What if I miscarry?"

"If you miscarry, dear, then at least you know that you can conceive. We will know better what to do next time. The thing is, we don't know for sure if you're any more at risk to miscarry than anyone else. My concern is carrying the baby to term, whether your uterus and cervix can hang on to the baby long enough.

"But," he said brightly, "we'll cross those bridges when we get there. Cheer up, Bella! This is what you wanted, isn't it?"

"Yes, sir," she said, a tear falling down her face.

"Good. Well, let's get you booked in for that ultrasound and we'll try to get a closer look at the little embryo in there. We'll also schedule you in for your next appointment with me while we're at it."

Edward shook Dr. Dimitri's hand and led a shaky Bella from the office.

"Oh wait," she said, turning around, "Dr. Dimitri, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, what is it?"

"Can, uh, Edward and I still..." she blushed scarlet.

"Yes," he chuckled, "you and Edward can safely continue to have sex, just go easy, okay?"

"Yes, sir. Thank you. See you soon."

* * *

Bella spent her first obligation-free week sleeping, crying, painting, and reading about pregnancy. Luckily for her, morning sickness wasn't an issue. She had a couple of nauseous moments, but nothing she couldn't handle.

Edward came home from the hospital one morning and found her asleep in his chair, dried tears crusted on her cheeks and a pregnancy book open to a section on birth defects. He picked up the book and hid it. There was no need for her to be sitting home alone freaking herself out all day.

After trying unsuccessfully to wake her enough to get her to walk up to bed, he picked her up and carried her. She had been complaining that she was already getting fat, but he didn't find that she'd gained any weight at all. In fact, according to his research, she shouldn't be gaining much baby weight for a while yet. Her breasts, however, were starting to get bigger, and he didn't mind that one bit.

He wondered how much longer he could hold out on keeping this a secret from the family. Bella was so afraid of something happening in the first trimester that she didn't want to get anyone's hopes up. Oh how he wished she could relax and just enjoy it.

Poor Rosalie was suffering greatly with morning sickness, but not his Bella. She was an emotional wreck where Rose was glowing. It was like a pregnancy yin and yang. He figured with the way things were going that she'd break down and tell Rose soon. Hell, he hoped she would so she'd have someone to talk to about it all. He could talk about it from a clinical point of view, but not from an emotional one.

They slept for a couple of hours before it was time to go to the ultrasound. Bella had to drink what looked like six gallons of water before they left, so it was inevitable that she was grumpy, nervous and uncomfortable when they left. Edward was exhausted from the most recent run of midnights and he was thankful that he had a day off before going back on days.

Bella was on the table, her shirt pulled up to expose her now distended belly. The technician squirted the translucent conducting gel on her skin and ran the transducer back and forth. Bella winced with every pass, squeezing Edward's hand harder and harder.

"Hang in there, love, it won't be long."

The technician pressed a little harder, inciting a hiss from Bella. "Sorry, dear, I know it's uncomfortable, but look," she pointed to the fuzzy screen, "there's the placenta, and there's the embryo."

"Where?" Bella was panicking. "I don't want to be like Rachel was on Friends and not be able to see...ooh, what's that fluttering?"

Edward leaned down and kissed her forehead. "That fluttering, love, is our baby's heartbeat."

Bella swallowed hard, two tears tracking down her pale face. "It's really real, isn't it," she turned her head to look at Edward. "We're really having a baby?"

"Yes."

"Oh my god, if I didn't have to pee so bad I'd cry even harder. The heartbeat seems fast. Is the baby okay?"

"Yes," the technician said, "the embryo's heartbeat is strong. The position is good. Everything looks normal. Congratulations, dears, you're about eight weeks along."

"Are we done? I really have to pee."

"Just let me get a couple more measurements, print these off and you're good to go."

"God, I have to go so bad! Edward, I'm going to pee my pants!"

"Hang tight."

"You try drinking eight thousand gallons of water and have someone push down on your bladder!" she snapped at him.

The second the technician removed the transducer from her abdomen, Bella bolted for the nearest bathroom, which happened to be occupied. Bella and Edward ran up and down the hall trying to find a free washroom, but they all seemed to be full.

"Somebody please! My pregnant fiancée needs a washroom before she explodes. For the love of God..."

At that moment, a nurse opened a door and beckoned them into a private room.

"Thank you!" Edward said. The nurse smiled and handed him a towel, prompting him to quirk his eyebrow at her, confused.

"It's for the gel. I noticed she didn't clean it off."

Edward chuckled. "Thanks. She was pretty desperate."

* * *

**_I know, I know, kind of fluffy and short. I apologize. At least now we know for sure that the Peanut is really in there. So how long do you think she'll wait before she breaks down and tells Rose? _**

**_I am sick and busy this weekend so I'm not going to have a lot of time to write. My BFF is in town visiting, another friend just moved back from the Cayman Islands and there are three birthdays to celebrate, not to mention my niece's ballet recital on Sunday. Ayoye! I get tired thinking about it. I will do what I can though...I feel like I owe you big time after this chapter since it was kind of slow.  
_**


	9. Ch 9 Big News

_**I can't think of anything witty to say right now. I'm still rocking a crazy fever and feeling a little delirious at the moment. **_

_**Stephenie Meyer holds the key to the Twilight universe. I have a key to my bike lock and one to my door. Kind of sad.

* * *

**_

Bella called Rose the following week to see if she'd like to go for a walk. Although she desperately wanted to keep their news a secret for a couple more weeks, she knew she needed to talk to someone about it, someone who understood what she was going through.

They decided to take a stroll in a nearby park. It was a beautiful, sunny, early summer day and it felt good to be outside. Bella squeezed Rose's arm and sighed.

"Spill it, Swan," Rose said, "what's up? You've been evasive and more fidgety than usual."

Bella stopped and turned to her best friend. "Can you pinky swear that you won't breathe a word of what I'm about to tell you? You can't even tell my brother."

"Of course! Geez, I'm offended you even feel the need to make me swear by pinky."

Deep breath. "Rose, I'm pregnant."

"Shut the fuck up!" Rose screamed.

"Sh," Bella said as she blushed. Several stroller-pushing mother-types shot them dirty looks.

"Am I the first to know?"

"Yes."

"How far along?"

"Almost ten weeks. I'm really not that far along. I didn't want to jinx it or get everyone's hopes up since this isn't even supposed to be happening for us."

Rose hugged her and cried. "Oh Bella, I'm so happy for you and Edward. He must be over the moon!"

"Yeah, he's pretty happy."

"Aren't you excited?"

When Bella didn't answer, Rose took her by the hand and led her to a nearby bench. "This is the miracle you've been waiting for! Why aren't you excited?"

Bella looked at her best friend and tried to hide the fear and sadness in her eyes. "Rosie, I'm terrified; scared shitless."

Rose chuckled, putting her arm around her best friend's shoulders. "Sweets, you wouldn't be human if this wasn't scaring you. Being pregnant isn't all roses and ponies. I mean you're carrying a new life inside you and there are so many things that could go wrong that sometimes you wonder if it's worth it. I felt like that until the little bean moved and I instantly fell in love."

"I'm scared to love it in case it doesn't live. They don't know if I'll be able to carry the baby to term."

"Is it a chance you're willing to take?"

"What do you mean?"

"You don't have to go through with it. You can terminate it."

Bella put her hand protectively over her abdomen. "How can you say that? My peanut has a heartbeat. I saw it last week! I mean, it's not that I'm against abortion, but this is my..."

"This is your miracle," Rose finished quietly, "Sweets, I think you have your answer. You already love it."

"What if I'm not a good mom?"

"You're going to be a fantastic mom!" Rose paused, then squealed. "This is so awesome! We're pregnant together! We can be all fat together, and we can have playdates, and they'll be cousins and grow up together and when I outgrow my maternity clothes I can pass them along to you. Oh Bella, this is the best news ever!"

"Hold on, you swore you wouldn't tell anyone."

"I won't, I swear!"

"I just want to wait a few more weeks."

"You know Alice is going to kill you, right?"

Bella sighed. "Yeah, I know. I just don't want any undue excitement until I get past the first trimester. I wanted to tell you first because you're my BFF and you're going through it too. I have a lot of questions."

"Oh, sweets, thanks for trusting me and I'll do what I can to help. First things first, we need to stock you up on stretch mark cream."

* * *

Edward dragged his exhausted body through the front door and made it as far as his chair in the living room before he flopped down. Maybe he wasn't cut out to be a doctor. These shifts were going to be the death of him. Two weeks of midnights, two weeks of days, then he had to find time to do charts on top of studying. How was he going to be of any help to Bella when she was further along or better yet, how was he going to be useful once the baby was born?

_Excited_ was so far from the word he'd use to describe how he had felt in that examining room when he saw their tiny baby's heart beating. There were no words. His heart was so full he thought it might burst. How was it possible to be so impossibly in love with something so tiny that it didn't even have a face? It was their little miracle. The one thing they'd been told they'd never have and there it was.

And here he was, happy and terrified of the faceless creature.

Would he be a good dad? Would he have the time and energy required to raise a child? What about Bella? Would she resent him for having to work all the time?

His head was hurting. He grabbed the blanket off the back of his chair and pulled it over his head. It smelled like Bella.

* * *

Bella got home an hour or so later; arms loaded with groceries, and found Edward asleep in his chair. The blanket was over his head, so figuring he had a headache, she pulled the blinds and quietly closed the door. She went out to the kitchen to put away her purchases.

Rose had hooked her up with an assortment of prenatal vitamins and stretch mark cream. _Ugh,_ Bella thought, _more scars to add to the collection. _More marks on her road map, only this time these scars were happy ones, heading in a good direction.

She put a lasagne in the oven, thankful she'd made some ahead. She was exhausted, as usual. While she waited, she went into the studio and pulled out the canvas she had been working on. Rubbing her belly she spoke: "Hey, little Peanut. It's momma. I don't know if you can hear me yet, but I'm going to talk to you anyway.

"I'm looking at a painting I'm working on. Momma is a painter, by the way. I started it before I knew you were there. I hope you look like it because that would mean you look like your daddy, who, if I may say so, is the most beautiful man on the planet.

"You're going to love your daddy because he's wonderful and loving, but you're also going to be annoyed with him sometimes because he worries entirely too much. We need to teach him how to chill out a bit.

"You'll have to forgive us if we get a little overprotective of you sometimes. Mommy had a hard time for a while, someone was mean to her, and we would never want you to know how that feels.

"You are going to be spoiled rotten, little one. Be prepared. You are going to be the big miracle everyone was talking about. I'm still not sure I believe in miracles, but maybe you'll be the person who will show me the truth.

"If you could do me a huge favour, could you please try to be healthy? I know it's a lot to ask of a tiny little peanut, but I don't know if I could handle losing you. I love you already and I don't even know you.

"I promise that if you can hang on in momma's broken belly for 9 months and come out alive, we'll give you the best life we can possibly offer. Please be my miracle, Peanut."

Bella's eyes grew wide when she thought she felt a little flutter in her womb. _No way_, she thought, _Peanut's too little to feel anything yet._ The tears still streamed down her face as she suddenly realized that she did love her baby. Fears be damned.

* * *

Edward woke up a couple of hours later to the smell of supper. His stomach rumbled, urging him to follow the smell and eat. 

_When was the last time I ate?_ he wondered.

There was a note stuck to the microwave: _Heat me for 2 minutes on high_. He smiled and did as the note instructed. Another note flapping on the fridge caught his attention: _Salad inside. Eat it._

The microwave dinged as he was putting salad on his plate. He felt very lucky to have Bella for so many reasons; hot, healthy, meals being one of them. So many of his classmates had to fend for themselves; living off Ramen noodles and macaroni and cheese. Here he was, somewhat rested and feasting like a king.

A noise coming from the studio alerted him to Bella's whereabouts. After finishing his meal, he wanted to go thank her but didn't want to disturb her while she worked. As he approached the door he spotted another note. _Please __do__ disturb._

Laughing, he entered the room and spotted her working on the green-eyed cherub. He walked up behind her, wrapped his arms around her waist and nuzzled her neck. "Amazing," he said.

"It's not my best, but..."

He spun her around and cut her off with a smouldering kiss. "No," he growled, running his hands down her back to cup her ass, "you. You are amazing."

Bella gasped when he grabbed her. Her hands instinctively flew up to cup his face to kiss him back but she forgot that she was holding a fully charged paintbrush. She splattered him with a pale blue/grey acrylic.

"Oops," she said, wiping the paint from his cheek, "I didn't mean to do that, but it does compliment your eyes." She grinned at him as his grip tightened on her.

"I missed you," he said, leaning his forehead against hers.

"You were gone for twelve hours. I hardly doubt you even noticed. Oh, but Adam did," she giggled as Edward pressed her into his erection. "Aren't you tired?"

He growled in her ear. "Nope."

She reached down to cup him and he gasped. "Are we going to do it upstairs or down here?"

"Why?" he grunted as she stroked him through his scrubs.

"I need to put stuff away if I'm not going to be back down tonight, I have brushes that need to be cleaned."

"Spoil sport," he mumbled. "Let's get this place cleaned up and head upstairs. I need a bath."

"I'll clean up, you go get the bath ready, okay?"

Bella found Edward reclined in the big tub, eyes closed, a smile on his face. She almost hated to disturb him. She stood and admired the beauty that is Edward; his strong jaw, the regal slope of his nose, those incredible lips, those big, skillful hands.

"Like what you see?" he drawled.

"Maybe."

"Mind if I reciprocate?" he quirked an eyebrow at her.

"Not at all," she said, pulling her paint-spattered shirt over her head. "Is this enough?" she teased.

"Never," he growled.

She pulled down the old pair of his scrubs she'd claimed as her painting pants. She was certain she head him exhale sharply when he saw that he wasn't the only one in the house who liked to go commando.

"Gorgeous," he whispered.

Bella snapped off her bra, tossed it on the vanity and walked toward the tub. "Edward?"

"Yes, love?"

"Will you still love me when Peanut makes me fat?"

"All the more."

"Will you hate my new scars as much as the old ones?" she slid into the tub, seating herself between his legs, leaning back against his chest.

"I hate how you got them, but I can't hate the scars themselves. They are part of you, and you," he paused to nip at her neck before grazing her earlobe, "you are perfect and you are mine."

She shivered and cried out.

"I want to talk to you about the wedding," he said as he ran a soapy cloth over her arms.

"Right now?"

"No better time than the present."

"It's interesting foreplay," she chuckled.

"I want to have this conversation before we both fall asleep. I think it's something that needs to be discussed and soon. Do you want to have it before or after Peanut comes?"

"You're calling it Peanut too?"

"I keep hearing you call him or her that, so why not? You don't mind, do you?"

"No, not at all, it's cute, not to mention we don't know if it's a boy or a girl and it sounds so much nicer than calling it, 'it.'"

"So, what are you thinking? Before or after?"

"Honestly, if we want to have any kind of honeymoon at all we need to do it before, and I want it to be before I'm too huge to enjoy it."

"That makes sense."

"I don't want a big to-do, which is totally going to piss off the pixie. I've never enjoyed big, garish weddings, and I certainly don't want one for myself. Truth be told, the ceremony is nothing but a formality. I don't need a license or certificate to tell me that we belong to each other.

"I want it just to be family, including Victoria, and that's it. I want to do it at the ETOW, at sunset, with a justice of the peace. That's it."

"That's it?"

"Yup. I want Rose as my maid of honour."

"I'd like to have Jazz as my best man."

Bella turned and kissed him. "Then it's agreed. Simple, small, soon and in Forks."

"You handle the little details for the ceremony and I'll hammer out the honeymoon. I'll need to come up with a plan for work though. Can we work this around my schedule?"

"Of course. As soon as you confirm some time off, I'll get everything else ready."

"What if it's next week?"

"Then next week I become Mrs. Isabella Marie Cullen, wife of soon-to-be-Dr. Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. I'm flexible, honey."

"For the honeymoon, do you want to go someplace hot and exotic?"

"I don't care, Edward. As long as it's just me and you, I don't care where we go."

"Are you sure?" he grinned evilly.

"Yes, well, I draw the line at Antarctica. As much as I loved the penguins at the Biodome, I don't want to spend my honeymoon with them."

He kissed her cheek. "Thank you. I have the perfect place in mind. I'll get started on cementing a date tomorrow. God, I love you, Isabella Marie Swan. How did I ever get so lucky?"

* * *

"Rose, I have a huge favour to ask."

Rosalie was sorting through a basket of baby blankets an employee had given her. "Mmm? What's that, sweets?"

"Would you be my maid of honour?"

"Of course! Oh, thank you!" she tossed the mint green blanket she'd been admiring off to the side and hugged Bella. "I'd be honoured!"

"Well, there's more," Bella continued. "We decided to push the wedding date ahead. I don't want Edward to marry a whale, so we're getting married August 2nd. Edward managed to get some time off, so we decided to do it then."

"Bella, you tell me when and where and I'll be there in all my pregnant glory."

"Forks. We're doing it at the EOTW at twilight."

"Sounds perfect," Rose sniffed and wiped away a tear. "I'm so happy for you! Please don't make me wear anything too shiteous, I'm going to be as big as a house!"

"That's the good thing about this; you can wear whatever your heart desires. We're aiming for super casual. Edward is going to wear khakis and a short-sleeved dress shirt and I'm not planning on wearing anything too crazy. I found a nice dress with an empire waist that should keep whatever tiny baby bump I might have by then from being too evident.

"Besides, it's just going to be family, including Victoria."

"Alice is going to have a hairy canary over this," Rose said seriously.

Bella snorted before she was overcome by a fit of giggles. "Did you just say _hairy canary_?"

Rose blushed. "My pregnant brain is making me say the most fucked up shit lately."

"Is that what I have to look forward to?"

"Oh yes, and so much more. There's the flatulence, having to pee every ten minutes, meltdowns, cravings, sickness, and let's not discuss sex."

"Oh yes, please, let's," Bella said blushing. "I mean, don't go into gory detail or anything because you're talking about my brother, but man, if you're half as horny as I am , Em must be in heaven!"

"Actually, Em has put the kibosh on sex for the moment. Says he's too tired."

"My brother. Turned down sex? Wow, Rose. You broke him!" she laughed. "Edward is pulling a lot of doubles to make up for the time he's taking off for the honeymoon, so I haven't been inflicting Pandora's wrath on poor, exhausted Adam."

Rose snorted obnoxiously. "God, even after all these years, it kills me when you talk about Adam and Pandora as if they're real people. I didn't think it would stick."

"Are you mocking me?"

"No, sweets, I think it's cute. The problem is that Emmett just hired a new guy at the shop and his name is Adam, and every time I hear his name I think about Edward's dick. It's kind of creepy."

"Oh. My. God. Stop it, Rose! I'm going to pee my pants," Bella said before running off toward the bathroom.

Bella broke the news to Emmett when he got home from work that night.

"Em, I kind of have some news for you."

"What's that, Belly?"

"Uh, well, Edward and I are getting married on August 2nd. Do you think you can take some time off to go to Forks for a weekend?"

"Shut the hell up! That's great news, kiddo! Kind of short notice...hey, that little jerk didn't knock up my sweet, baby sister, and this isn't some attempt to make sure the baby's not born a bastard, right?" he said, joking.

"Well," Bella started, "kind of."

Emmett's eyes grew huge. "Did that son-of-a-bitch knock you up, Belly?"

"Yes," she whispered, afraid of his next response.

"Man, the next time I see him, I'm going to..."

"Emmett, please don't hurt the father of my child!"

"You didn't let me finish. I was going to say that the next time I see him; I'm going to give him a big hug and a high five! Way to knock up my impregnable baby sister!"

"So, you're happy?"

"Of course I am! Now our kids can grow up together! This is awesome! Come here, Belly!"

Emmett pulled her into a big hug. "Mom and Dad would be so happy about this."

* * *

Bella chewed nervously on her lip as she pondered what to do about Alice. Rose had sworn not to breathe a word of the pregnancy or the hastened wedding date until Bella was ready.

She couldn't bear the wrath of the angry pixie if she waited too long to tell her, but time was running out. Ideally she wanted to wait until she was much further along in her pregnancy, but that would bring her beyond the wedding date, and people would be wondering why she wasn't drinking at her own wedding.

Fuck, what to do? There was less than a month to go until the big day. Time to bite the bullet. She needed to get this done so Edward could ask Jasper to be his best man.

Twelve deep, panic-filled breaths. Three beads of perspiration and a tiny flutter in her belly. Bella hit speed dial #3 and closed her eyes.

"Bella! What's up, Sister, Mine?"

"Hi Alice. Have you got a minute?"

"Sure do. What'd my brother do now?"

Bella giggled. "He knocked me up."

Silence.

"Alice? Are you there?"

Silence.

"Alice, you're scaring me. Are you there? Please answer me."

"Bella," she croaked, "did you just say that Edward knocked you up, or did you say that he knocked you out?"

"Up, Alice. I clearly said up."

The high-pitched scream that came through her phone was so loud that she was sure her little peanut could hear it.

"Oh my fucking god, Bella! You're really pregnant? For reals?"

"Yup."

"How far along?"

"Ten weeks."

"Why didn't you tell me? How long have you known?"

"I technically found out in Montréal, but it wasn't officially confirmed until I got back. I didn't want to believe it until I saw it for myself. It exists. It has a heartbeat. I'm sorry I held out on you. Because this is kind of a high-risk pregnancy I wanted to wait until I was much further along to tell anyone, but something has come up, and, well, there's no time."

"What are you talking about?"

"Edward and I have set a date."

"Shut up! When?"

"Alice, please promise you won't freak out."

"I don't like the sound of this. Tread lightly, Swan."

"We're getting married in Forks at the EOTW on August 2nd."

Silence.

"Alice?"

"August 2nd next year, right?"

"Um, no."

"August 2nd two years from now, right?"

"Um, no. August 2nd as in three weeks from now."

Alice's frantic voice raised four octaves to reach a level Bella was certain only certain species of dogs could appreciate. "How am I supposed to put together..."

Bella cut her off. "You don't have to do much of anything. It's just me and Edward, you and Jazz, Rose and Em, Carlisle and Esme and Victoria. That's it. We're doing it at sunset, no frills."

"At least let me throw you a bridal shower."

"No need, really."

"Please? You're killing me, Bella!"

"Fine, then, you can throw me a shower."

"What about the honeymoon?"

"Edward is planning that. I have no idea what he's up to."

"What about your dress? A photographer?"

"I have a dress in mind. I'll need to find a photographer in Forks, though."

"Let me handle that."

"Thanks for being so understanding, Alice. I thought that you'd be really mad at me for springing this on you so quickly."

"I'm just happy about the baby, Bella. See, I told you not to give up hope."

"I know, but it's still soon yet. I'll breathe easier once we get through the first two trimesters. I'm scared something's going to happen and I'm going to lose my little peanut."

"Hmm, Peanut Cullen. It has a nice ring to it."

Bella laughed. "It does, doesn't it? Look, I have to piss like a racehorse. Rose and I will be coming up to pick up my dress soon, so I'll give you a call in a couple of days to make the arrangements."

"Great! Congratulate Edward for me, would you?"

"I will. Wow, I still have to call Carlisle and Esme."

"They don't know?"

"Nope."

"They're going to freak!"

"I know. Okay, I really have to go. Love you, Sister, Mine."

"Right back atcha!"

* * *

Edward and Bella decided to tell Carlisle and Esme face-to-face, sort of. They wanted to see their reactions, so they thought maybe they'd give Skype a try. Edward tried to explain to his father over the phone how to set it up, but he couldn't quite get it to work. Bella suggested they go to Victoria's office to do it because they'd had long distance video sessions with her in the past and knew she could set it up.

They agreed on a set meeting time and at 9pm Eastern (6 pm Pacific), the five of them met up online. Esme was waving frantically at the screen. "Oh, Carlisle, I can see them! Can they see us? Can they hear us? Hello?"

"Hi, Mom," Edward said, waving, "yes we can see and hear you loud and clear."

"Hi guys," Bella said, waving back at them. "It's so nice to see your faces."

"How're you guys doing? How was your trip?" Victoria asked.

"Oh, come on, it's not as if you don't already know that Dr. Carmen all but offered me a gig working on a book. I know you guys talk back and forth," she grinned.

Victoria blushed a light, pixellated pink. "Busted. I'm so happy you get to work on that project with him. He's a great man. He taught me all I know."

Edward cleared his throat. "Before we lose our connection, Bella and I have something we need to discuss with you."

"Oh dear, Edward, why so serious? What's wrong? Are you sick?"

Bella giggled. "Everything's fine. Edward and I want you to keep August 2nd free."

"Why's that, dear?" Esme asked.

Edward put his arm around Bella's shoulders. "August 2nd is the day we're getting married."

Silence. Bella and Edward stared nervously at their stunned faces. All of a sudden the three on the other end started cheering.

"My babies are getting married! I'm so happy! Why so quick? Doesn't give Alice much time to prepare."

"Well," Bella started quietly, "there's more. We wanted to do it before I got too big to enjoy it."

Victoria raised her hand to shush Carlisle and Esme. "Did you just...oh my god, BELLA!"

Esme sat there looking lost. "What did I miss?"

"Mom, Dad, Bella's pregnant. You're going to be grandparents."

The shocked silence seemed to go on forever before Esme collapsed into Carlisle's arms and sobbed. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he comforted her. Victoria was beaming.

"Edward, I'm worried. I don't think they're very happy for us," Bella said. She turned back to the screen. "Guys, I'm sorry. I know we're not married, but we will be before Peanut comes along..."

"Bella, dear, we're not upset because you're not married; we're ecstatic, overcome with joy! Congratulations! How far along are you?"

"I'm almost eleven weeks now. I wanted to wait a couple more months before saying anything, because I'd be well out of my first trimester and not feeling so nervous. There's a chance this won't work and I won't be able to carry Peanut to term. I didn't want to get anyone's hopes up."

"Bella," Esme hiccupped, "it's the miracle I told you you'd find. It really is. It's going to be okay."

Victoria squealed. "This is almost too much good news to handle! Congrats guys. I'm beyond happy for you."

"You'll come to the wedding, right, Victoria?"

"I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Carlisle spoke next. "Edward, son, I'm so happy for you. If you need to talk, you know where to find me. Juggling a newborn and a residency isn't easy, but it's not impossible."

"So where are you getting married?" Esme asked.

"On the EOTW, at sundown. Just family and a justice of the peace. Something intimate and meaningful."

"Sounds perfect. I'm actually kind of relieved," Esme said, "first, I really couldn't see you two having a huge wedding and being happy about it, and second, I don't think I could handle Alice in wedding-prep mode again. The girl wore me out for Emmett and Rose's wedding."

"Bella," Carlisle said, "I can call in some favours with the doctors in Hanover if you want."

"Thanks, Carlisle, but I'm happy with Dr. Dimitri. He's been very kind and attentive."

Esme perked up. "We'll be coming to visit again in the next couple of weeks, if that's okay with you?"

"So close to the wedding? Are you sure?" Bella asked.

"We need to get you ready, besides, I'll be a good Alice buffer."

"Thanks, Esme. I'm going to say bye now, Peanut says it's time for me to pee, again. I love you all."

"Be safe, baby girl," Victoria said, blowing her a kiss. "Prince Charming, take good care of her."

"I promise," he said, kissing the top of Bella's head.

"Love you both, talk to you soon," Carlisle said.

"Love you too, Dad."

"Oh, my babies! I'm so happy and proud, and oh, Bella, I'm holding you up! Go pee. I love you both!"

A chorus of byes followed Bella down the hall to the bathroom where she finally relieved herself and relaxed. Everyone knew now. Nothing left but the wedding.

Carlisle spoke quietly. "Son, how's everything, really?"

"Okay. She's been struggling with accepting it, so afraid she's going to miscarry. She had really hoped to wait to tell everyone; she's terrified she's going to let everyone down. Not only that, instead of morning sickness, she's emotional, crying a lot, snapping at me. I have to say, though, that it's been a little better since she told Rosalie. Rose has been a huge source of comfort for her. Oh, I hear her coming. I'll give you guys a call later. I love you all!"

"Hang in there, Prince Charming," Victoria said, smiling, "God, I'm just ready to burst for you two!"

* * *

_**Everyone dust off your kazoos and practice buzzing out the wedding march! **_

_**Okay, I have a serious thing to discuss with you: I need some baby name suggestions for both boys and girls for Emmett & Rose's Bean and for Bella & Edward's Peanut. I'm throwing around some ideas myself, but I'd really like to get your input on this. Drop me a line either by reviewing or a PM and let me know what you're thinking. **_

_**Keep in mind that naming a baby is an important thing. I work in the name change office and you'd be surprised at some of the requests I get across my desk from people begging to have their names changed.  
**_


	10. Ch 10 Deep Thoughts & Preparations

_**Since you've all been so sweet to help me out with compiling a list of potential baby names, and your reviews have been so nice, I worked extra hard today to get this chapter up and ready for you.**_

_**I also figured I'd better do it sooner than later...the MTV Movie Awards are coming on soon and I don't want to miss the New Moon trailer. I know i'm a thirty-something woman, but I have a feeling I'll be squeeing with the best of the younger fans when it comes on. Don't even get me going on how much I loved New Moon. It was, hands down, my favourite book in the series. Needless to say I'm beyond excited to see the movie.  
**_

_**I wanted to dedicate this chapter to **_**Entropic Kitten**_** because she's going to be giving birth to her own Peanut any day now. Everyone think happy, healthy baby thoughts for her, please. She's good people. :)  
**_

_**Stephenie Meyer still owns all things Twilight, but I own a smelly cat and although he hasn't made me a bazillionaire yet, he gives me lots of love and smelly things.

* * *

  
**_

After breaking the news to the parentals, Bella busied herself with cleaning up the studio before heading to bed. Her stomach was a little off, so she wanted to go relax for a while. Edward tucked her in, kissed her belly, and went to do some work. Before he settled in, he called his father.

"Hi, Dad," he said as he quietly closed the door to his study.

"Hi son. Congratulations again! We couldn't be happier for the two of you."

"Thanks. I'm still blown away by it all. I know it's real, but, wow. After being told for so long that it would never happen and now it's happened, well, it's a lot to digest. I keep waiting for that jackass Ashton Kutcher to pop out and tell me that we've been punk'd."

Carlisle chuckled. "That's to be expected, son. Just wait until you see the baby as it gets bigger. It will become more real then."

"More real than the first time I saw Peanut's heartbeat?"

"Peanut, eh?" Carlisle laughed, "Yes, son, the first time you see your baby's face it will become all too real."

"You're scaring me."

"Why are you scared? Well, besides the obvious."

Edward sighed. "I'm scared that I'm going to be too busy and I'm going to let them down; that I won't be here for Peanut's first word, first step, first time going potty. I'm scared Bella will resent me for not being around when she needs me. I'm terrified that I am going to end up like him."

Carlisle inhaled sharply. "Oh, Edward, don't ever think for a second that you are anything like your biological father. He was a hard, cruel, man. You are so very lucky that you were so young and have no real recollection of that monster."

"But half of my genetic makeup is that monster, Carlisle. What if it's genetic?"

"Oh son, don't ever worry about that. He was more a product of environment than genetics. Your father had a hard upbringing and came from a horrible, abusive home life. I know that it doesn't excuse what he did, but you have to understand that you will not repeat his errors. You are more Elizabeth than Ed, that's evident. You have her compassion, her gentleness, her calm demeanour. You have never exhibited any of Ed's violent tendencies in all of your 23 years, son. I don't think you have anything to worry about."

Big sigh from Edward. "I can't help it. You said he's mentally ill, what if it's a dormant gene, and I wake up one day, kill Bella and Peanut, and not even realize I've done it?"

"Have you talked to Bella and Victoria about this?"

"No."

"I think you should. It's not good to bottle this up. Trust me, though, you are not like Ed. You never have been, nor will you ever be. You are going to be an incredibly attentive and loving father, even with your work obligations. I have faith in you, son."

"Thanks, Dad, for everything. If learning good parenting comes from watching our parents, then I have been blessed to have had you and Mom as my teachers."

"You have always been an incredible son, Edward. You have always been and will forever continue to be a model son, even if you were having premarital sex with your adopted sister."

Edward laughed. "It's kind of weird if you think of it that way. Ugh. I feel like I need to go take a shower in holy water now."

Carlisle laughed heartily. "It was nice talking to you, Edward. Please don't hesitate to call me any time you need to talk, and please talk to Bella and Victoria about your fears. I truly believe they are unfounded, but I'm here if you need me, son."

"Thanks, Dad. I should go study. I'll see you soon."

"Bye son, oh, and relax a little, would you?"

Edward hung up the phone and moved to the living room. He sat in his chair, opened a textbook, and began reading, but he found that he was reading the same lines over and over again. His mind kept drifting to his conversation with Carlisle and the one secret he'd always kept from his family, from everyone.

He did remember his father. He had only been two years old, but he had memories of the night his mother died. He could remember his father hitting him, throwing him into his crib when he had been caught crying over his mother's bloody, broken, body. The memories used to come to him in vivid, Technicolor dreams. For years, he could never figure out why he dreamt about those particular things until he finally asked Carlisle what had happened the night his mother died and suddenly he knew that the recurring nightmare was actually a very real recollection of a harsh, cruel reality.

No one would ever believe that a child his age could retain a memory for so long, but he had. He would often have flashes of other violent memories from time to time. It scared him. A lot. How could he not fear that some of his father's violent temper hadn't passed on to him? His biological father was his age when this had all happened, so who's to say that it wouldn't happen to him.

Conversely, Carlisle had a point, his father was partially a product of his environment, and Edward had never known another day of violence until James had entered their lives.

_Okay, I am __not__ Edward Masen Sr. I am Edward Anthony Masen Cullen and I am __not__ my biological father's son. I am a Cullen. I am not angry, violent, or ill-tempered. I have never felt the urge to hurt my loved ones. I __will not__ever lay a hand on my future wife and child. I am a good person. I am my mother's son. I am Carlisle's son. I am Esme's son. I am Bella's fiancé and I am Peanut's father. _

_I can do this. _

_At least I hope I can.

* * *

_

Bella and Rose decided to take a road trip to New York to pick up dresses for the wedding. Edward insisted they take the Volvo because it was more comfortable. Both girls knew it was because it was structurally sounder than the VW and more economical than Em's Jeep.

A very excited Alice met them at the bridal boutique, a dozen fancy, flouncy gowns hanging over her arms.

"Alice my dress is already picked out! I'm just here to have it altered!"

"Please humour me. You have denied me so much by having this shotgun wedding that you owe me BIG TIME," Alice pouted.

Bella caved. "Fine, I will try on four dresses other than the one I've picked out. That's it."

The pixie squealed and jumped up and down. "I always win."

Rose rolled her eyes and whispered to Bella, "She only wins because she'd torture us until we caved anyway. Better to do it early and avoid the pain, right?"

"Amen, sister."

"Bella!" Alice screeched from the changing area. "Get over here now!"

"Okay, here we go," Bella said, gritting her teeth.

Trying on all the dresses was actually kind of fun. Even Rose tried some on.

When Bella finally put on her dress, the girls fell silent. Bella twirled around in front of the mirror and smiled. She turned to face them, almost afraid of their reactions. "So, what do you think?"

"Beautiful," Rose sniffled. "It couldn't be more you. It's beautiful, understated, and elegant."

Bella blushed and looked at herself in the mirror again. It was white, sleeveless, and constructed like the kind of gown a Greek goddess might wear. She loved how it was draped, folded, rolled, and she adored the high empire waist that hung so even if she was showing, Peanut wouldn't be the focal point.

Alice stood behind her and beamed. "Oh, Sister, Mine, you look like a goddess. All the dresses I picked out pale in comparison to this one. I will never doubt your taste again."

She turned to hug Alice. "I'm going to want that in writing, signed in triplicate, and notarized. I'm seriously going to hold you to it."

Rose was standing in front of the mirror running her hands over her pronounced baby bump. "We need to find a burlap sack to cover my ever-expanding belly, girls. I think Emmett impregnated me with a linebacker."

"Why not go with an empire waist like mine? You looked stunning in that wedding dress you tried on. If we could find a regular dress constructed like that one, then we're golden!"

Alice gapped out for a moment before she exclaimed that she knew exactly where to go to find it.

"Let me get my dress sorted out before you two take off on me."

The seamstress came over, put some pins in to mark where it needed to be hemmed, then sent them on their way.

They stopped for a snack on the way to the store. Since Bella and Rose were now eating for two they needed to refill more often, although not nearly as much as they needed to unload. Bella was in a bathroom stall at the coffee shop when she heard a familiar, nasally, annoying voice.

"Well, I wasn't expecting to see them out there. The pixie hasn't changed a bit but Rosalie got fat. I wonder whatever happened to that freak Bella Swan? I bet Edward dumped her ass as soon as they got to university. He probably realized that he'd been dating a nutjob. I never understood what he saw in her. It must have been pity. Or maybe he was crazy too, I mean, he turned me down."

_LAUREN!_ In a city of a billion people, she had to run into that bitch. She quickly flushed the toiled and flung open the door to the stall, barely missing Lauren.

"Well, hello there," Bella said loudly, "it's so nice to see you after all these years, Lauren." Her voice dripped so heavily with sarcasm that she was afraid she might slip in it when she left. "Oh, is that you, Jessica? I didn't recognize you under all that make up."

"Bella Swan? What the...?" Jessica stammered.

"In case you're wondering, which you were, Edward and I are engaged," she held up her hand, thrusting the engagement ring in her face, "we're getting married in two weeks. I just graduated form Dartmouth, with honours, and Edward is in medical school. Oh, before you start twittering about me looking fat, I'm pregnant. With Edward's baby. Oh yeah, we fucked. A LOT! You don't know what you missed out on; Edward's got a big dick and boy does he know how to use it. Suck on that! Rose isn't fat either. She's also pregnant, with Emmett's baby. Oh dear, yet another guy you went after who wanted nothing to do with your skanky ass.

"So, what're you up to, Lauren? On a break between clients? Which street corner are you working these days?"

Bella moved between the two shocked women to wash her hands. She noted the look on their faces and stood up proudly. "Oh yeah, girls, I went there. Meek and mild Bella Swan-soon-to-be-Cullen, is gone, bitches."

She dried her hands and tossed the paper towel in the trash before walking out the door. Alice and Rose were standing in the hallway, mouths agape.

"Let's get out of here before I decide to go back in and shove their over-processed heads into the toilet."

The three friends ran out giggling and didn't stop until they were a block away from the scene of the confrontation. Rose hugged her. "What the holy hell was that? Where did that come from? That was fucking amazing!"

Bella laughed. "I have no clue. I wish I could have done that in high school. Man, that felt good!"

"I wish I had recorded that. No one is EVER going to believe those words came out of Bella Swan's mouth," Alice said, breathlessly, "good lord, I'm so glad we decided to check on you. I mean, you all but called them hookers! Oh, and that bit about Edward and his big dick—way too much information for me as his sister—but wow, Sister, Mine, way to go with the low blow! Man, I wish I could have seen the look on their faces!"

"Their jaws were on the floor. They never saw what hit them: one minute they were trashing us, and the next I came flying out and put a smack down on them. I don't know what possessed me to do it, but man, that felt good. Let's find another bathroom because I have to go again. I laughed too hard."

Rose was doubled over, "Me too. Oh god, too funny. Emmett's going to shit his pants when he hears this. Bathroom. Now!"

Alice looked around and spotted the maternity shop she had wanted to go to in the first place. "I bet they'll let you use the bathroom here, I mean, come on, they cater to pregnant women."

They ran to the store and thankfully, there were multiple bathroom stalls. They continued to giggle about Bella's outburst even while Rose tried on dresses. Luckily, it didn't take long to find one. Bella and Rose were both exhausted and Rose's ankles were swelling. As soon as the dress was bought and Alice had loaded them up with a few other 'essential' items, they headed back to the loft.

Jasper was home when they arrived and he absolutely lost it when the girls told him about Bella's close encounter of the Lauren kind.

"I always hated that bitch," he said, "She was always throwing herself at me and Edward. Yuck! Bitch got what she deserved. Way to go Bells!" He high-fived her, "so, were you all successful today?"

"Sure were, little brother. I managed to find something that doesn't make the Bean look like a beach ball."

"And you, Bella?"

Alice didn't let her answer. "Oh, Jasper, she's going to be such a beautiful bride that Edward's going to cry like a baby when he sees her."

He grinned. "Awesome. I love when Sapward comes out to play. Makes me feel like such a butch guy."

"Aw, baby, you're always butch to me," Alice said as she sat on her lap, placing a kiss on his cheek.

"On that note, I'm taking my swollen feet to the guest room and I'm going to flake out for a while."

Alice jumped up. "I'm going to go run an errand for a client. I'll pick up supper while I'm out. What do you want to eat?"

Bella's stomach gurgled. "Peanut says that anything is fine-oh wait-nothing too spicy."

Rose yelled out that she'd eat just about anything, which prompted Jasper to laugh. "Some things never change."

Alice gave them each a kiss on the cheek and taking off, leaving Bella and Jasper alone in the living room.

"Can I get you something to eat or drink, Bells?"

"Please! A glass of water and a plain piece of bread would be divine."

"Are you sure that's all you want? We do have fixins to make sandwiches."

She smiled warmly at him. "I'm fine, Jazz. Some women have morning sickness; I have evening sickness. It's not really bad, I just get a little queasy, that's all. The bread will help settle my stomach, I hope."

Jasper returned shortly with a glass of water and a single piece of multigrain bread. "Hope you don't mind seeds and nuts."

"Seeds and nuts are fine, thank you."

He saw beside her and put his arm around her shoulder. "So, how's everything going?"

"It's really good, Jazz. At least I think it is. Edward is working twice as much right now to make up for the time he'll miss for the wedding and honeymoon. He's exhausted and I feel helpless. I'm trying to make things as easy for him as possible."

"There's not much else you can do, Bells. Once you get the wedding and honeymoon done, and he's back to a regular rotation schedule, you'll find your groove. You guys always do."

"I'm glad you're going to be his best man, Jazzy."

"It would be my honour. Edward was the first friend I made in Forks when we moved there. He walked right up to me and asked me to have lunch with him and Alice. She looked at me and said: _It's about time! I've been waiting forever for you._"

She giggled. "That's so Alice."

"Yup, that's my girl," he smiled.

Bella closed her eyes for what she thought was a moment, but it turned out to be two hours. She was sprawled out on the cushy sectional couch, covered with a blanket. Alice was rattling around in the kitchen, talking quietly to Jasper.

The sound of her phone buzzing in her bag pulled her from her daze.

"Hi, baby," she said, yawning.

"I was starting to worry. I've been calling for the past two hours."

"Sorry, I fell asleep. Is everything okay?"

"Oh yeah, I was just worried...you know how I am. So, how did you make out with the dress?"

"Oh, Edward, it's beautiful! I can't wait to show you."

His voice softened. "I can't wait to see it. I can't believe we're getting married in two weeks."

"I know," she whispered. "I love you so much."

Edward sighed. "I miss you and Peanut."

"We'll be home tomorrow night; it's not long now...Alice!"

Alice grabbed the phone and clicked on the speaker. "Brother, Mine, you will never believe what happened today in the bathroom!"

"Oh my god, Bella, are you okay? What happened in the bath..."

Bella jumped in. "No honey, this isn't like my last New York bathroom experience."

"Edward, you are seriously going to shit your pants when we tell you," Rose piped up sleepily from behind the couch.

"You're going to be so proud of her, man," Jasper added.

"Would someone please, for the love of all things holy, please tell me what happened! I'm tired of being kept in the dark about Bella's bathroom activities in the Big Apple."

Bella and Rose were still giggling about Edward's reaction to her tirade in the coffee shop.

"Holy fuck, I'm marrying one sexy, mean mama, aren't I? Way to knock the bitch down a few pegs, baby," Bella said, doing her best Edward imitation.

"Too funny," Rose choked out. "I always knew you had it in you, I just wasn't sure I'd ever get to see it, or at least hear it. You are the queen!"

"Thanks, Rose. It was about time I stood up for myself. I just wish I would have had the balls to do it sooner, like in high school." Bella said, before yawning.

"Tired?"

"Yeah, although I'm not as exhausted as I had been. It seems to be getting a little easier now."

"It will. Oh..." Rose squealed, surprised.

"What is it?"

She smiled. "Bean just moved."

Bella sighed, "I wish I could feel Peanut rolling around in there."

"You don't feel the flutters?"

"Oh yeah, Peanut flutters, I think, but I'm looking forward to feeling a hand or a foot or a head in there. It all still seems so surreal."

It was Rose's turn to yawn. "Mmm...let's sleep. We still have to drive home tomorrow, not to mention you've got company coming on Monday."

"Oh yeah, the Carlisle and Esme are coming. It never ends, does it, Rose."

"Nope, and when the baby comes, forget it!"

Bella sighed. "Great. Sweet dreams to you too."

* * *

**_Yeah, it's a shorter chapter...I know you guys like the long ones better. Hopefully the next one will be a little longer._**

**_Please stick with me...I'm writing as fast as I can and i'm trying desperately not to compromise the quality of the story. I'm REALLY excited to write the wedding and honeymoon chapters, so maybe that'll kick me in the butt and keep me going. If not, I'll rely on your wonderful reviews to pick me up.  
_**


	11. Ch 11 Mile High

**_Hi gang...I'll keep it brief so I can get back to work on Chapter 12! Thanks for all the love, reviews, PMs, and other wonderfulness you all give me. If I may quote a title by the talented Blue October, YOU MAKE ME SMILE!_**

_**Oh, and what about the trailer for New Moon...did y'all hear me screaming? I don't want to wish away the summer, but is it November yet?  
**_

**_Stephenie Meyer still owns it all, and for those who don't know, yesterday, June 2, marked the anniversary of the dream that made all of this possible. Big hugs to the woman of the hour.

* * *

  
_**

The days leading up to the wedding flew by. Edward was working doubles, which meant that when he actually made it home, he flopped into bed and that was it. Bella began cooking meals and dropping them off for him, which made him the envy of the other residents. At least once a week she would take in a container of cookies or muffins to appease the tired and hungry masses.

Carlisle and Esme's visit was brief, but productive. Esme had begun making arrangements to have a justice of the peace and something _special_, but she wouldn't say what it was. She also suggested that they have the reception at the house. As soon as Emmett heard that, he volunteered to flex his BBQ muscles, while Esme said that she and Victoria had discussed already how they would make salads and other food to go with the BBQ.

"Nothing extravagant, please," Bella pleaded.

"Of course, dear," Esme said, grinning.

Bella knew that grin; Edward used it on her all the time. It could only mean that there was something afoot.

Edward still wouldn't tell her where they were going for the honeymoon. She had no idea when he was finding the time to make the plans; when she asked what she needed to take, he just shrugged and said, _Oh, the usual: a bathing suit, shorts, pants, t-shirts, sweater, lingerie. _What the hell did that mean?

All the secrecy was making her crabby. It was a good thing she was alone a lot; otherwise heads might be rolling. For someone who had always been so quiet, meek, and introspective, she'd become rather persnickety and downright bitchy. She hoped this would pass and Rose assured her that it would.

Edward got home from his last shift before the wedding, arms laden with gifts.

"What's all this?" Bella asked as she helped unburden him from the load.

"These, love," he said as he planted a sweet kiss on her cheek, "are gifts from my classmates and colleagues."

Bella put them down on the coffee table and watched as Edward brought in a particularly heavy-looking box and set it on the table beside the others.

"Edward, they really didn't need to do this."

"They wanted to. Everyone adores you and they're so happy for us that it's just a small token of their esteem and thanks."

"Thanks for what?"

Edward hugged her and kissed the top of her head. "Thanks for the food."

"Oh, but it's not that big a deal, really. I enjoy doing it."

He tilted her head back so he could look at her. "Bella, everyone works crazy hours and a lot of them are alone, far from their families. They don't have anyone to make muffins or cookies for them. One of the guys almost started crying one night when he bit into one of your cream cheese muffins because it reminded him of his mother and he'd been terribly homesick. It meant the world to him. What you consider 'little' gestures aren't always so little to someone else. They don't go unnoticed or unappreciated."

"I had no idea," she said, blushing, "I wish I would have done more."

"You've done more than enough. Now, should we open them now or wait until we get home?"

"NOW! NOW!"

He laughed. "I figured they'd stay wrapped for months. You usually aren't so receptive to receiving gifts."

"Well, we can't return them; that would just be rude. Let's see what we've got!"

Bella laughed as she opened them. One box contained a new set of Ziploc containers, sandwich bags, and cookie tins. A couple of the nurses bought her two new sets of muffin tins and decorative muffin papers. Three of the interns bought her a set of stainless steel mixing bowls and cookie sheets. The big heavy box was from one of the ER doctors, Dr. Black, and it contained a bright, shiny new Kitchen Aid mixer.

Unable to contain her excitement, Bella danced around and rambled at warp speed. "Oh my god, Edward, do you think this is a hint? Man, that Kitchen Aid mixer is HOT! If I had a penis, it would be rock hard right now. They are crazy expensive...it's too much. Wow. I need to go try it out now!"

"But Bella, we need to get ready to go. Our flight leaves tomorrow evening. We have that ultrasound appointment in the morning."

"We have lots of time. I'm pretty much packed. I know you said you wanted to pack some things for the honeymoon without me, so please, let me go play with my new toys and you can pack."

"Are you sure? You're not too tired?"

"NO! Go pack or whatever. Oh, can you carry the mixer into the kitchen for me? That sucker weighs a ton!"

* * *

"Bella, wake up. We have to go. You have water to drink."

"Ugh, no more water," she grumbled, sleepily.

"You don't have to drink as much this time, and I think this is probably the last time you'll have to do it. How're you feeling this morning anyway? You're not too tired are you?"

"I'd feel better if you'd give me a second to wake up before you start assessing my condition," she said acidly before she realized what she'd done. "Aw, shit, baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you again."

"I'm getting use to it," he mumbled as he walked toward the bedroom door, "there's water on the bedside table for you."

_Shit,_ she thought, _why do I always have to be such a bitch to him when he's only trying to help me._

Bella drank the water and got dressed. Edward was quiet for the duration of the drive. Bella reached for his hand and rubbed it on her belly.

"I'm sorry, Edward. I really am. I don't mean to be so bitchy all the time. I love you so much and all I seem to do is be mean to you. I don't know how you stand to put up with me."

Big sigh from Edward. "I love you too, Bella, I always will. I understand that you're feeling hormonal and whatnot, but I'd be lying if I said that it didn't hurt sometimes."

Bella sniffed. "I wish I could stop."

Edward turned briefly to look at her. "You will," he smiled. While it was far from Bella's favourite smile, it would do for now.

In the examining room, Bella clung to Edward's hand as the technician prepped the equipment and Belle's abdomen.

"Well, welcome to your second trimester, Bella," the kindly technician said. "You made it to the next step."

"Thanks, Maria," Edward said.

"Let's see...oh, there we go."

"Is that an arm?" Bella gasped.

"Yes, there's the head, the legs..."

"Oh look at the tiny little hands!" Bella said excitedly, cutting off Maria. "Edward, Peanut has fingers and toes!"

"Well, they're still forming, but for all intents and purposes, yes, the foetus has fingers and toes," Maria said as she clicked keys on the keyboard and moved the transducer along the gel. "The foetus is about 13cm long and weighs about 110 grams at this point."

"Peanut's growing quickly," Edward said.

"Peanut's going to be growing a lot in the coming weeks. Bella, be prepared."

Bella exhaled. "I'm trying. So, things are good?"

Maria smiled at them. "Looks that way to me. Let me get some more data and I'll print off some photos for you."

"Thank you, Maria. We're getting married in a couple of days and it will be great to show our family the newest addition."

"Congratulations!" Maria said as she finished with the equipment and wiped down Bella's stomach.

"Can I please go pee now?"

"Go right ahead."

Bella scooted off the table and ran out to find the nearest bathroom while Edward stayed behind to talk to Maria.

"So, really, how does it look?"

She laughed. "Nothing worse than a nervous, med-student, first-time dad. I'm telling you, Edward, it looks good. The foetus is growing normally; the heartbeat is very strong. No need to worry about anything right now, other than marrying that beautiful girl of yours."

Edward, overcome with emotion, hugged Maria. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"Aw, I didn't do anything. But thanks for the hug. Here are your photos. You two go get married, have a great honeymoon and I'll see you when you get back."

Bella walked in to get her bag. "Oh, Maria, here," she handed her a Ziploc bag of cookies. "These are for you."

"Thanks, Bella, they look delicious."

"My pleasure. We'll see you in a month."

"Congrats again!"

Bella and Edward walked hand in hand to the ER. The nurses all smiled at them and said hello. Some of them chastised Edward for being there on his day off.

"Shouldn't you two be off getting married or something?"

Bella laughed. "I wanted to come and thank everyone for the wedding presents." She emptied the contents of the bag. There were a dozen sandwich bags full of cookies and two containers of muffins.

People began to squeal and before they knew it, a ravenous group of doctors, nurses, and interns surrounded them, all clambering for a bag of goodies.

Bella managed to retrieve a container of muffins. "We need to give these to Dr. Black, since he was the one who was kind enough to give us the mixer."

"He is also responsible for the honeymoon, too."

She slapped his arm. "Why didn't you tell me? I would have baked him a fucking cake!"

"Such ugly language coming from such a beautiful mouth!" he grinned. "You can bake one when we get back. Come on."

They walked to a door labeled, Dr. Bill Black. Edward knocked lightly before entering. "Sir?"

"Edward! My star pupil. Come on in. Is this radiant creature your blushing bride-to-be?"

"Yes, sir. Dr. Black, this is Bella Swan. Bella, this is Dr. Black, the man behind the mixer."

The tall, dark-haired, older man had a wonderfully warm smile and sparkling brown eyes. Bella liked him immediately. He took her hand in a grand gesture and kissed it, "It's such a great pleasure to meet you, dear. Edward has been painting such an incredible picture of _his Bella_ that we were starting to think he'd made you up—that is, until we tried your baking and then we knew you were every bit the angel he said you were. Your muffins are heavenly!"

Bella blushed. "Thank you for the incredible gift, sir. I've always wanted a Kitchen Aid."

"I thought it would come in handy. If you get the urge to bake as much as my wife did when she was expecting, having a mixer will be a great asset. You do realize that everyone here is hoping that that will be the case," he winked.

Edward chuckled. "Well, sir, as soon as she opened your gift she broke it in."

Bella held out a container of muffins. "It's not much, but I wanted to thank you. Had I known you had a hand in the honeymoon I would have made something a little more extravagant."

"Oh, Edward, you didn't break down and tell her where you are taking her, did you?"

"No, sir, I only mentioned that you helped."

"Good, don't ruin the surprise. Oh, is that the printout from your most recent ultrasound? May I?"

Bella held out the photos.

"Looking good. Have you felt any major movement yet?"

"No, sir, just a tiny flutter here and there."

"You will, soon enough, dear. Well, look at me holding you two up. Scoot! Go get married!"

Bella hugged him. "Thank you, sir."

"Anything for family of Carlisle Cullen."

"You know Carlisle?"

"Edward didn't tell you? Carlisle and I were roommates in university. We go way back."

"That's fantastic. Well, it was nice to finally meet you, sir. Thank you for your generous gifts."

"You just take good care of that baby and Edward and that's thanks enough."

Bella turned toward the door and overheard Edward and Dr. Black whispering something about keys and _as requested_. What the hell did Edward have planned?

* * *

Edward held one of Bella's hands as the plane took off while her free one rested protectively on her abdomen. Her eyes were closed and she was pale.

"It's okay, love, we're in the air now."

Bella exhaled shakily. "I hate flying."

"I know, but we didn't have much choice, I'm sorry. We never should have moved so far from Forks."

"It's okay, you'd think I'd be used to it by now, having flown to visit Em so many times over the years, but I'm just nervous about Peanut and the cabin pressure."

Edward leaned down and rested his head on her tiny baby bump. "Hey, Peanut, is everything okay in there? Do you need a blanket and pillows? I'll let you know when the seatbelt light turns off."

"Oh!" Bella exclaimed, surprised.

Edward sat up immediately. "What's wrong?"

"That was more than a flutter."

"What do you mean?"

"I felt Peanut move. It was way more than a flutter."

"I wish I could feel it. Hey in there, I can't wait until I can feel you kicking. Grow up, would you?"

Bella swatted him. "Quit rushing the baby, Edward."

A flight attendant stopped by to ask if she could get them anything. She was clearly asking Edward. Bella didn't seem to exist.

"I'd like a bottle of water, please. Bella, love, what would you like?"

Bella stiffened. "I'd like for you to stop hitting on my fiancé and I'd like a bottle of water as well. Thank you."

The woman smiled a fake plastic grin and left. Edward looked at her and laughed, before nuzzling her neck.

"Mm, I like possessive Bella. She makes me hot."

"Mm, well, I don't like skanky bitches hitting on my future husband. I said it and I meant it. You, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, are MINE!" Bella growled before turning her head and devouring his mouth in a hot, possessive kiss.

"Ahem."

Bella looked up. "Yes."

It was the flight attendant. "Your water."

"Thank you," Bella said sweetly. "Could you please bring blankets and pillows?"

"Yes, ma'am," she replied curtly.

Edward excused himself to go to the washroom. A moment later, the flight attendant returned and deposited blankets and pillows on Edward's empty seat. "Will that be all? As you're the only passengers in First Class, I am pretty much at your beck and call. By the way, I'm sorry I was so rude earlier. You have to know just how handsome your fiancé is. It's hard not to flirt. I was totally out of line."

"It's okay," Bella paused to look at the name tag on her uniform, "Kate. I'm sorry I snapped at you. I'm a little on edge. Edward and I are getting married in two days, I'm pregnant, hormonal, and frankly I'm surprised he even wants to marry me. I'm getting fat, grouchy and...ugh."

"What's your name?"

"Bella."

"Well, Bella, he's a lucky man to have you. No one ever bothers to apologize after snapping at me, especially when I'm at fault. You're also gorgeous, if you don't mind me saying so.

"How about I leave you two alone until you ask for something. I'm sure you've got a lot on your mind, and as a wedding present to you, I'll give you free reign to join the Mile High Club, unless someone else catches you. I'll do what I can to keep the area clear."

"What the...thank you so much, Kate."

"It's the least I can do for being such a bitch earlier. Oh, here's Edward. Just shout if you need me. I'm going to go make myself scarce." She winked at Bella before leaving.

Edward sat down, looking confused. "What was..."

Before he could finish, Bella had captured his mouth in hers and crawled onto his lap.

"Whoah, Bella, what..." he said against her lips as her hands worked to free him from his pants.

"Kate has given us a little wedding present."

"Who's Kate?"

"Flight attendant. Mile-High. No interruptions. Hurry."

Edward didn't need to hear any more. He fumbled with Bella's underpants. Thank god she'd worn a skirt. After she'd freed Adam, and was slowly lowering herself down onto him, Edward covered them with one of the blankets, just in case.

Bella slid down his hardened length slowly, moaning quietly as he filled her. Edward rocked his hips upward as she ground down on him. A loud groan escaped her and before she became louder, she buried her face in his shoulder. Edward thrust into her slowly at first until her insistent rocking hips prompted him to speed up.

They panted into each other's mouths as they neared orgasm. Bella hit hers first, during a brief, but powerful pocket of turbulence. She cried out quietly before biting his shoulder to suppress the noise. The pain prompted him to release his own cry as he shuddered into her.

Bella's head was swimming as she climbed off his lap; Edward was sweaty and shaking.

"Wow," he whispered.

"Yup," she said.

Edward, once his body started working again, pulled a blanket over Bella, put Adam back into his denim prison and stood up to beckon Kate.

"Hi, Kate, is it?"

She smiled knowingly. "Hot towels?"

He grinned. "Please?"

As she walked away, he reached out and took her arm. "Thank you. Thank you so much."

"Congratulations to you both."

Moments later, she returned with several hot towels and two more bottles of water.

Edward passed a drink to Bella and began to wipe the sweat from her body with the hot towels. He was gentle, attentive, and loving. This act alone was almost enough to send her over the edge again.

When he was finished, Bella returned the favour, paying special attention to Adam, who she had sprung again, and seemed to be ready for round two. She began to stroke him with her hand under the blanket. Edward closed his eyes and his jaw tightened.

"Bella, you, uh, don't have to do this."

She kissed him quickly. "I know. I want to."

"Fine, then."

Bella ducked under the blanket and ran her tongue up the length of his now hard shaft. When she reached the head, she ran her tongue along the underside, inciting a hiss from Edward. She took the head into her cool mouth. Edward marveled at the feeling. He had forgotten that she'd just taken a drink of water. It felt incredible. He sighed contentedly before one hand gripped hard into the arm of the seat, the other tangled in her hair under the blanket as she bobbed up and down.

His breathing became shallow when her mouth left his erection and moved to take his balls into her mouth.

"Sweet baby Jesus, Bella, what the..."

Again, her mouth returned to Adam, who was just about ready to explode.

"Bella."

She hummed as she took him deeper into her throat. It was his undoing. He came in violent fits, shooting hot and sticky down the back of her throat.

Bella emerged from under the blanket, her hair a complete rat's nest, and smiled, licking her lips.

"Fuck, Bella," he panted, before kissing her.

"I need to pee," she said, getting up.

Edward took a moment to compose himself and put Adam away again.

When Bella returned she curled up in Edward's lap and immediately fell asleep. Edward wasn't far behind her.

Kate woke them just before they were about to land. Edward thanked her, put Bella back in her seat and buckled her up. The landing was smooth, which made for a less stressed Bella when they debarked. They both gave Kate a hug and thanked her for her present.

Carlisle and Esme were waiting at the airport for them, waving excitedly. Bella, still exhausted, allowed them to lead her to the Mercedes, where she promptly fell asleep.

* * *

"BELLA! Wake up!"

Bella sat up and screamed. One second she was dreaming about hot, sweaty sex with Edward in the meadow at the EOTW, the next she was fending off a pixie attack.

"Holy shit, Alice, you can't do that to me! I'm pregnant! What if you sacred Peanut right out of me?"

Bella's head was spinning. She laid back down to get her bearings.

Alice curled up beside her. "I'm sorry, I forgot. I just got so excited to see you. Are you okay? You're kind of pale."

"Dizzy. I sat up too fast. Just give me a minute. How did I get here anyway? I don't remember getting off the plane."

"Well, you made it to the car on your own steam, obviously half-asleep, and Edward carried you in from the car once you arrived. You were so out of it. You were mumbling something about your new membership or a club or something."

Bella blushed at the memory of her induction into the Mile High Club.

"I don't think I want to know, do I?" Alice asked.

Bella bit her lip. "Nope, you don't."

"Ew. Anyway, I have your dress her and I can't wait to see it on you."

"Are Rose and Em here yet?"

"Carlisle is picking them up in an hour."

"Sweet."

"Are you still dizzy?"

"A little. I'll be okay if I take it slow."

"I'm sorry, Bells, I would hate to scare Peanut out of you," Alice put her mouth down to the bump. "Peanut, it's Auntie Alice. I didn't mean to scare you, but maybe you should get used to it early on, because it happens a lot. Love you, kiddo. Can't wait to meet you."

Bella's stomach growled and Alice jumped back, making Bella laugh out loud.

"Is Peanut growling at me?"

"No, that's my stomach. I'm starving."

"Didn't they feed you on the plane? You were in First Class, were you not?"

A blush crept up Bella's cheeks, yet again. "Edward gave me a light snack before I fell asleep."

"Oh god, Bella," Alice said, whomping her with a pillow, "Enough! That's gross!"

Esme walked in with a tray heaped with food. "Hungry, sweetheart?"

"How did you know? Thank you!"

"Edward said that you hadn't had much to eat on the plane and that you'd probably be famished."

The girls giggled.

"Do I want to know?"

Both girls replied with a resounding NO!

Bella dug into some scrambled eggs while Alice picked at the pancakes. She stabbed at her with a fork. "Hey, I'm eating for two. Don't deny me!"

Alice giggled. "Edward warned me that you get grouchy easily."

"He did? That little...hey, where is Prince Charming?"

"He had to run some errands. He said he'd be back just after lunch. SO, that means you're mine until then."

"Great," she mumbled.

* * *

"Edward! Come here, give me a hug!" Victoria said, welcoming him into her office. "I'm so happy to see you. Where's Bella?"

"She's sleeping, or at least I hope she is. Alice was plotting something when I was leaving. I told her to let her sleep, but you know Alice," he shook his head.

"I do. That pixie has a mind of her own."

"Besides," he said, sitting down on the sofa, "I wanted to talk to you alone, if that's okay. Hey, this is a different sofa."

Victoria laughed. "My god, Edward, that other couch was ancient."

"Aw, I liked it. We had some pretty intense moments on that couch," he blushed, "that came out all wrong."

"I knew what you meant, unless you and Bella broke into my office and defiled my couch."

"No, it's probably one of the few places we didn't," he chuckled momentarily. "Seriously though, I need to talk to you about something."

"Shoot."

He ran his hands through his hair. "I don't even know how to begin this," he paused to find the words. "How much do you believe, no...do you...fuck."

"Take your time, Edward."

Four deep breaths, two tugs on his bangs and one pinching of the bridge of his nose later, he began. "I saw my father kill my mother. I remember him beating us."

"Edward, you were two years old."

"That's why this is hard. I've never told anyone this because it's just so utterly messed up. I used to think it was just dreams, nightmares, but once I heard the details of how she died, I realized that it wasn't dreams I was having, it was memories. Everything matched."

"Why are you talking about this now?"

He stood and paced, pinching the bridge of his nose again. "I'm scared I'm going to be a monster like him."

"Calm down, Edward. What makes you think that?"

"I don't know. What if it's genetic? He was roughly my age when it all began. What if I'm a ticking time bomb? What if Peanut cries and I freak out? What if Bella snaps at me and I hit her?"

"That's a lot of what-ifs, Edward. How about this: what if it doesn't happen? What if you're a loving, attentive father? You've never shown any signs of being anything but wonderful.

"I don't know much about your father, his background or what happened, so I can't really tell you anything other than I'm sure you are worrying about nothing. If you'd like to, we can look into this further. I'll talk to Carlisle and a friend of mine on the police force to see what I can find out."

"Thanks, I'd appreciate that."

"So, how vivid are these memories and do they cause you undue stress?"

"Some parts are a little fuzzy, and they don't bother me as much as say Bella's memories of James haunted her. I was so young that it's not fresh, it's just messed up. I can't describe it."

"Are you saying that to be brave?"

Edward exhaled deeply. "Maybe."

"Come on, Edward, let's talk this out."

"I need to get back to Bella. Can we talk another day?"

"Of course. Please let me know if this really starts to get to you, okay? Does Bella know?"

"No, not yet."

"You might want to talk to her about it. It doesn't have to be now, but she needs to know."

"Thanks, Victoria."

"My pleasure, Prince Charming. I'll do some digging and we'll see what I can find out. AND I'll see you at your wedding," she said, hugging him, "It'll be okay, kiddo. It'll be fine."

* * *

_**We're getting closer to the wedding!**_

_**I hope you're not all going to get disgusted with me and the longer pauses between chapter postings. I'm working hard on my downtime. :)  
**_


	12. Ch 12 Crazy

_**Yay! An update! Sorry to say that this is NOT the wedding chapter. It's coming up. Hold tight!  
**_

_**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all things associated with it. I've got a loverly bunch of coconuts.**_

_When we last left them, Edward had gone out to talk to Victoria about his fears of being a shitty father like his biological father. Bella was being tortured by Alice.

* * *

  
_

Alice was playing Bella Barbie when Edward returned. She looked at him pleadingly. _Save me_, she mouthed. He laughed, shrugged his shoulders, and made to move away. She grabbed his hand.

"Please, Edward, I thought you loved me!"

"Geez, Bells, you'd think I was torturing you."

"Hey! Are you having a makeover party without me?" Rose said, pushing Edward aside.

"I guess that's my cue to go," he said. He gave Bella a kiss on the cheek before he left the room.

Jasper met him on the stairs. "Hey buddy, long time no see. What's up?"

"I need a beer," Edward said with a sigh.

"It's just barely after noon."

"I know."

"Come on, I'm sure Em..."

Edward cut him off. "I need some Jazz time. Let's grab some beers and go down to the river."

"Gotcha, I'm on it."

Although he felt bad about excluding Emmett, he just really needed some time with his best friend/best man. As it turned out, Esme had already snatched Em and his bulbous muscles and put him to work on that surprise she was scheming up for the wedding.

Edward and Jasper, each with a six-pack in hand, walked slowly toward the river.

"What's up, Edward? Cold feet?"

"No, not about the wedding. I can't wait to marry Bella. I've been waiting for this day forever so I'm kind of glad that we bumped up the date and that she's getting the wedding that she wanted. I really worried that Alice was going to railroad the whole thing and poor Bella would end up walking down the aisle at Westminster Abbey dressed head-to-toe in meringue and diamond tiaras."

"I'm sensing a 'but' here," Jasper said, popping the cap off his beer.

Edward sat on a rock and cracked open his own beer. "There's no 'but', really. Ah, fuck, Jazz, I don't know. I'm stoked to get married and the honeymoon is going to be awesome, I hope. It's just..."

"The baby."

"Exactly," Edward exhaled deeply before chugging down half of his beer.

"I thought you were happy about the baby."

"I am. I'm beyond happy. I'm ecstatic. This is an incredible thing, it's just that I'm scared."

Jasper feigned shock. "THE Edward Cullen is scared?"

Edward looked over at his best friend, smiled weakly and said, "Shitless."

"You're serious, aren't you?"

"Dead."

Jasper put his arm around Edward's shoulder. "Why? You're going to be an incredible father."

"Jazz, can I tell you something? I've only told Victoria about this, and even then, I didn't tell her everything."

"You can tell me anything, you know that."

Edward went on to tell Jasper about how he remembered what happened the night his mother died. He gave him more details than he had Victoria, and he broke down.

"I can remember her eyes staring up at me, blank. They just stared up at the sky. There was a lot of blood; it was on my hands. I shook her and yelled but she wouldn't wake up," he sobbed. "Then he was hitting me, yelling, but I don't remember what he said. He picked me up and threw me in my crib. I think I hit my head because I don't really remember much after that. I remember crying. Esme was crying. I kind of remember the hospital."

"Why didn't you tell anyone? That's a horrible burden to carry, Edward."

"It wasn't until just before graduation from high school that I discovered my 'dreams' were real. I asked about it and when Carlisle told me the details of that night I realized that they weren't dreams, they were memories," Edward said, opening another beer before continuing, "It didn't really mess with me until I found out about Peanut. I was working a double; and was in the on-call room trying to get some sleep when I had a dream. I dreamt that I killed Bella and the baby. I was standing above them, their blank eyes staring at me, their blood covering my hands."

"I'm not sure why you're so worried about this."

"What if I snap like he did? What if it's a hereditary mental condition?"

"Dude, you need more background info before you start freaking out. Have you thought about finding him? Asking him yourself?"

Edward paled. "I never thought about that. What would I say? Do I want to see him? Ugh." He ran his hands through his already messy hair. He drank the other half of his beer before grabbing a stone and tossing it into the river with a hollow kerplunk.

"Maybe this is something I should just file under 'irrational fear' and forget about it."

"Edward, I've known you for what, eight years? Nine? I have never known you to let something go unfinished."

They sat in contemplative silence before Edward spoke again. "Yeah, Jazz, you're right. I'm going to have to let it go for a while. I need to get through the wedding first."

"Talk to Bells, buddy. She'll understand."

Again, silence enveloped them. Edward always appreciated that about his best friend; Jasper never felt the need to fill the silence with inane chatter and he always knew what to say to calm him down. He was the yin to everyone's yang.

After finishing his second beer, Jasper let out an impressive belch. It echoed along the riverbank, sending birds flying from the dense trees. Edward laughed until his sides hurt.

"It's going to be okay isn't it, Jazz?"

Jasper clapped him on the back. "It's going to be better than okay," he said, cracking open another beer. "So, for your bachelor party tonight..."

"Wait! No one said anything about a bachelor party. I don't need one."

"You may not need one, but you're getting one. Nothing too crazy, just you, me, Em and Carlisle getting shitfaced at a bar."

Edward groaned. "Please, no strippers."

"Nope. No strippers, I swear."

"Okay, good. So, want to hear what happened on the flight here?" Edward said, grinning madly.

* * *

"Let me get this straight, the flight attendant hit on Edward, apologized, and then gave you permission to fuck in your seats? Man, I am insisting on having my seats scrubbed down next time I fly, and I'm also going to beg to have her as my attendant." Rose fanned her face, which had turned bright red. "That is SO incredibly hot!"

"If it wasn't my brother and sister having the hot sex on the plane I'd be fanning myself too. Wow, some people have all the luck. Jazz and I were in a full First Class cabin. No chance of nookie there; although it might have been fun to try."

"Who is having sex in First Class?" Victoria asked as she walked in.

"VICTORIA!" the girls all shouted, tacking her.

"Hey! So nice to see you all again. Baby girl, come here and let me feel that little miracle bump of yours."

Bella walked over and lifted her shirt so Victoria could feel. "Peanut's still pretty small."

Victoria looked up through an errant cluster of red curls and smiled. "Peanut. Too cute."

Alice flung herself back on the bed, propping herself up on her elbows. "So, girls, here's the plan. We are going shopping this afternoon and meeting the guys in Port Angeles for dinner, where we will celebrate the joyous occasion of the upcoming incestuous marriage of my brother and sister. After dinner we will say goodbye to the men for the night. They will proceed with Edward's bachelor party and we will come back here for Bella's shower/bachelorette. They will be crashing at Casa Swan tonight while we will be dancing around here in our underpants to cheesy 80s and 90s music.

"Tomorrow morning I have us all booked for spa treatments in Port Angeles. After, we will return here and get ready for the wedding."

Bella groaned. "Alice, I said nothing extravagant."

"It's not!"

"But I don't want to be away from Edward for so long," Bella pouted.

"It's tradition. Look, I'll cut you some slack. I think Edward and Jasper went down to the river. Why don't you go see him and tell him we're heading out soon?"

"Thanks."

Bella overheard Alice grumbling as she walked away. "Geez, they've been together forever, it wouldn't kill them to have some time apart."

Rose smacked her. "Go easy. It's her wedding weekend."

She laughed as she walked down the stairs and onto the deck. She took a deep breath of fresh forest air. As much as the dampness used to bother her, she missed it. Walking slowly down the path toward the river, she really took the time to remember the details of this wonderful place; the moss, the trees, the sounds, the smells.

As she neared the river she heard Edward's distinctive laugh and the clinking of bottles. _That bastard is drunk! s_he thought, annoyed. _Oh wait, he deserves it, he works ridiculous hours all the time. Let him drink until he pukes, as long as he makes it to the wedding._

"Jazz," Edward said with a burp, "I'm marrying the most incredible woman in the world. Can you fucking believe it?" He was slurring. "I don't know what I did to deserve it, but I am the luckiest SOB on the planet."

Bella hid behind a tree and giggled.

"She's hot, sexy and for some reason she loves the shit out of me."

Jasper lifted his beer. "Cheers to Bella!"

"Jazz, what if I'm not good enough? What if she figures out that I suck and she leaves with Peanut?"

"She won't," Jasper slurred. "She loves you, man. She always has, she always will."

"I hope so. I gotta piss. Be right back."

Edward got up and staggered toward Bella's hiding spot. She popped out to surprise him and he fell ass over kettle.

"Baby! What're you doing here? Am I hallucibeering?"

She laughed, then held out a hand to help him up. He pulled her down and kissed her. His tongue forced its way into her mouth and she reveled in the beer taste. She didn't realize how much she missed it. His hands groped her roughly but she didn't care.

When they broke the kiss to breathe, he sighed. "God, I love you, Bella."

"I love you too, you big lush."

"Man, I gotta pee. Help me up?" he asked, batting his eyelashes.

"That's what I was trying to do before you pulled me down."

"Shorry."

"How much have you had to drink?"

"Five."

"Five beer? Oh, Edward, you're such a lightweight," she teased, pulling him to his feet. "Go pee. I'll get Jazz. Alice said we're leaving for Port Angeles soon. You need to get cleaned up."

Edward lurched toward a tree and fumbled with his zipper.

"Do you need some help?"

"Please?"

Bella leaned around him and undid his pants before heading toward the river to find Jasper.

"Bellsssss!"

"Hi Jazzy, did you get my fiancé drunk?"

"Nah," he drawled, "I got him hammered."

Bella laughed. "Alice is going to kill you, you know."

He paled. "Aw shit, she is isn't she?"

"Yup."

"Crap. Hey, where's Edward?"

"I left him peeing on a tree over...oh shit, Edward!" she yelled, running back toward where she left him. "Edward, you dumb ass. Get off the ground."

He was slumped over on the ground. Bella slapped his face. "Edward, wake up!"

"I'm up," he mumbled.

"I can't even believe this is happening. Jasper Whitlock Hale, when Alice is done killing you, I'm going to slaughter you. Get over here and help me get Edward up on his feet. I'm not supposed to do any heavy lifting...hello, I'm pregnant."

Edward's head lolled back and he started to sing: "Havin' my bay-beh, what a wonderful way to something something LOVE YOU! I love you Bella cause you're HAVIN' MY BAYBAY!"

Bella turned her back to the drunken spectacle and dialed Alice's number.

"Bells? What's that awful noise?"

"That," Bella said in disgust, "that awful noise is my fiancé, drunk, serenading me. Your boyfriend is also here, drunk and flailing in his own crapulence. I need backup. I can't get them up there myself."

"Those two imbeciles! Argh. Hang tight, Bells, I'll get Emmett to come help. Man, when I get my hands on them..."

Within minutes, Emmett was storming down the path, a very angry-looking Alice in tow.

Jasper perked up. "Babydoll," he drawled, trying to turn on some of his trademark southern charm.

"Don't even try. You are in so much shit right now. God, Edward! What the hell?"

Edward looked up at her. "I know, I know, I fucked up royally. Bella, love," he hiccupped, "forgive me?"

Bella cupped his face in her hand. "Of course I forgive you, but seriously, what drove you to get drunk in the middle of the day? Are you having second thoughts? Do you want to cancel the wedding?"

Although she'd heard his declarations of love loud and clear, she still had that nagging feeling that something was wrong. "Baby, is everything okay? We can postpone the wedding."

He sat up. "NO! God, no, Bella. I want to marry you more than anything in the world. I'd marry you right this second if I could," he hugged her tightly. "I just needed to let off some steam. I'll sober up before tonight, I promise."

She laughed. "You'll sober up before getting hammered again? That's some flawed logic there, mister. I was just worried. It's just so not you to go out and get drunk in the middle of the day. I was scared that you had changed your mind."

"Never." He kissed her deeply. She fisted her hands in his hair, tossing the moss and twigs she found embedded in his unruly mop.

"Ahem. I was under the impression I was here to do a pick up, not watch you two going at it on the ground. Come on, Edward, let's get you back up to the house. Alice, how's Jazzy doing?"

Alice slapped Jasper on the back of the head. "He'll be fine until I get my hands on him. Now march, mister."

Emmett pulled Edward to his feet, then slung him over his shoulder. Bella laughed as she walked behind them and watched Edward pulling faces at her.

"Sometimes I feel like I'm marrying a toddler and not a doctor-to-be."

"It's a good thing you're not marrying a lard ass, Belly, otherwise Eddie here would still be on the ground."

Edward growled, "Don't call me Eddie!" and slapped Emmett's ass.

"That's it!" Emmett bellowed before dropping Edward to the ground. "It's bad enough your engaging my baby sister in an incestuous marriage and you've knocked her up, but I draw the line at ass grabbing."

"Edward! Are you okay?" Bella stopped where Edward was lying on the ground laughing.

He howled, tears streaming down his face. "Oh my god, that was too funny! Yeah, I'm okay."

He reached to rub the side of his head and noticed that he was bleeding. "Hmm, I'm bleeding. Oh well."

Bella looked at the blood and paled.

"Aw shit, Emmett! Come back!" Edward yelled as he caught Bella.

"I'm not carrying you...oh shit, Bella? What happened?"

"I must have cut my head when I landed. She got woozy when she saw the blood. I'm too unsteady to carry her, can you?"

"I'm pissed that my sister just keeled over, but I'm happy you're bleeding. You deserve it after this stupid stunt you pulled."

"I'm okay," Bella said weakly, "I'm just a little dizzy."

Alice came up behind Edward and slapped him. "Anything else you want to do to ruin my plans for the day? Going to set someone on fire? Oh geez, you're bleeding pretty bad, Edward."

"Am I?" He put his hand up to his head again.

"Stupid blood-thinning alcohol," he mumbled. He took off his shirt and held it against his head as he staggered along the path, his other arm around Jasper's shoulder.

Once they arrived at the house, Emmett set Bella down on a sofa while Edward sought out his father to check the cut on his head. Two stitches later and declared to be blood-free, he went to check on Bella, who was sipping on some orange juice and looking much better.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I really am."

"Are you sober now?"

'Yes, and I've got stitches."

"Stitches? How bad was it?"

"Oh, just a couple, I'm good as new."

She tried to pull his head down to see. "Let me look!"

"No way, I don't want you passing out on me again."

Alice strolled in. "Bella, are you feeling better?"

"Not well enough to go shopping," Edward said. "If you want her for tonight she needs to rest."

"Ugh, Edward, you ruin EVERYTHING! Fine! Victoria, Rose, Esme and I are going shopping for you."

Visions of endless bags of expensive, frivolous items danced in her head. "Oh god, I think that might be worse."

"Edward, if you can stay sober long enough, could you please make sure that you all make it to the restaurant by 7 p.m.? We have reservations."

"I swear that we will have Bella at the restaurant by 7 p.m." Edward held up his hand as if swearing an oath.

"Okay, get some rest. We'll see you in, oh shit, four hours! Girls!" she yelled, "hop to it! We're running out of time."

As soon as they left, Bella curled up with Edward and sighed contentedly. "That worked out to my advantage; I didn't want to go shopping anyway. I want to take a nap with you."

Edward helped her up and led her to the bedroom. "I can't think of a better way to spend the afternoon."

Bella quirked an eyebrow at him, "No?"

"Of course THAT would be an added bonus, but you look like you could use a nap and I thought maybe we could wait until our wedding night."

"That, my husband-to-be, was sweet, traditional, and very romantic. Thank you. So, can we snooze together or is that out of the question?"

"Snoozing is never out of the question."

After getting cleaned up and ready for bed, Bella snuggled into Edward, who wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. "Sweet dreams, love."

"Mm...you too."

* * *

The blood was everywhere. He couldn't wash it off. Her eyes stared blankly at him, mouth agape, blood pouring from it. He tried to make it better. He reached for her to make it stop but she was too far away, yet she was close enough that her blood covered him.

"Edward? Sweetie, wake up."

Why wouldn't the blood stop? Why was there so much? Why couldn't he help her?

"Edward! Wake up! It's okay, it's me, Bella."

He sat up and let out a blood curdling scream. Emmett, Jasper, and Carlisle all ran into the room.

"What the fuck is going on?" Emmett bellowed.

Bella wrapped her arms around Edward as he shook violently, staring wildly, not recognizing them. She ran her fingers through his hair and hummed quietly to him. Carlisle sat down beside him.

"Edward, son, what is it?"

Edward shook his head to clear his thoughts. Suddenly things made sense. Faces were familiar. What had just happened?

His chest seized up and before he could stop it, a huge sob came barreling out of him. He clung to Bella and cried. So much pain. So much blood. So much sadness. He couldn't keep it in any longer.

Carlisle told the boys to leave the room. He rubbed Edward's back while Bella continued to run her fingers through his hair, careful not to snag the two tiny sutures.

After a few minutes, he calmed down, his sobs turning to weak hiccups.

"Baby, are you okay? Do you want a glass of water?"

He nodded. Carlisle got up to grab one for him.

"What's going on, Edward?" she asked, gently lifting his face so she could see his eyes. Her heart broke when she saw them: red, puffy, swollen, and sad.

"Nightmare," he gasped, "M'okay."

"Oh, sweetie, is it the wedding? Seriously, you can tell me. We can postpone."

He shook his head. Carlisle returned with some water.

"Son, what's wrong?"

"I'm okay," he said before gulping down some water between ragged breaths, "it was just a nightmare. It was probably the booze."

"Are you sure?"

He smiled weakly. "Yes, I'll be fine. What time is it?"

Carlisle looked at his watch. "It's five. We should get ready to leave soon. I'll leave you two do that. You know where I am if you need me."

"Thank you, Carlisle," Bella said, smiling. She turned back to her trembling fiancé.

"Edward, I hope you understand that you don't have to hide anything from me. Don't protect me. I'm not fragile."

"Later, please," he begged. "I'm sweaty. Can we take a shower?"

"Of course, come on."

The hot water and Bella's magical touch seemed to drive away any residual tension from his nightmare. He sighed as she gently washed his hair, trying to keep his stitches dry.

"I'm sorry," he said.

She kissed his shoulder. "For what?"

"Today has been nothing but one disaster after the other. I'm sorry. It was supposed to be about relaxing and finishing up last minute details."

"It's okay, sweetie, there's still all day tomorrow. We're doing fine in terms of wedding arrangements, and truth be told, I'm relieved I got out of shopping."

"Yeah," he said, turning around and hugging her, "you mentioned that earlier."

"So," she said nervously, biting her lip, "are you really okay?"

"I am now." He smiled crookedly at her.

"Are you sure?"

"As sure as I know my love for you is eternal."

"You cheeseball." Bella laughed and threw a loofah at him. "Come on, let's dry off and get dressed. Alice will kill us if we're late."

"Can we please not say anything to the girls about what happened?"

"On one condition: you have to talk to Victoria about whatever it is that's bothering you."

He kissed her forehead. "Okay, I think I can do that."

* * *

Alice met them at the door of the pub. Bella looked at her suspiciously, then frowned. "I thought we were having a nice sit down dinner."

"We are. They've got great food and karaoke here."

"SWEET!" Emmett said, clapping his hands.

Bella turned to Edward and hid her face in his armpit.

"We didn't sign up for this, Alice." Edward said.

"Tough titties, Brother Mine. Come on! We're starving."

Alice led them to a long table covered in brown paper. Peanut shells crunched underfoot, making Bella cringe at the sound.

"Edward, I'm scared."

"Don't be, love. I'll protect you."

They joined the girls and promptly began ordering a wide assortment of appetizers before trying to figure out what to have for main courses.

"Oh, I want beer-battered haddock and beer-battered fries." Bella exclaimed as she slammed down her menu. Then she whispered to Edward, "Too bad they don't have poutine."

Edward felt Adam twitch at the thought of cheesy fries, gravy, and Bella's nipples.

"That's a whole lot of beer-battering, Belly," Emmett said, "are you sure you should have that?"

Silence fell over the table. All eyes turned to stare down the big guy.

"What did I say?"

"You are going to deny a pregnant woman the meal of her choice on the night before her wedding?" Alice said, shaking her head. "Would you ever ask Rose that question?"

"God, no, she'd castrate me."

"Then why is it okay to ask Bella?"

The room suddenly brightened with the dawning of his realization. He blushed crimson, casting his eyes downward. "I'm sorry, Belly. I just want to make sure you stay healthy, that's all."

Bella smiled. "It's okay, Em. I wasn't mad."

Alice and Rose were whispering back and forth, giggling and snorting.

"As your punishment, you need to go on stage and sing a song of our choice," Alice said, proudly.

"Geez, Prince Charming gets drunk and splits his head open and I get in shit for this? How is this fair?"

"Oh, Edward will be getting his punishment in due time." Rose said evilly. "Oh yes, Eddie-boy is going to suffer."

Edward swallowed hard.

"Okay, Emmett Swan, time to meet your maker. Your song is Rick Astley's classic _Never Gonna Give You Up_. Now go on, get on stage."

"Pfft," he spat. "That's it? I spit on your punishment."

Rose and Alice's eyes grew. "Oh, really?" Alice said, flipping through the song list. "If you insist on being like that, you're going to get Edward's song. Emmett, you are now going to be performing the classic crap song, _I Wanna Sex U Up_ by the craptacular man-boy band losers, Color Me Badd. Now get up there and dance, monkey man."

Jasper was laughing so hard there were tears running down his cheeks.

"Oh, laugh it up, little brother. You're not getting out of this free and clear. There's that little issue of you and the groom getting plastered. Just wait, little man."

Jasper stopped laughing, while Victoria, Carlisle, and Esme broke out into gales of belly laughs.

"This is going to be a fun night!" Victoria said.

Emmett made his way up to the stage, embraced his fate and put on a great show. He really channelled his inner cheeseball Z-list boy band side, and danced up a storm, throwing in some hefty pelvic thrusts and a half-decent running man. The other patrons at the bar were loving him and he ate it up. He even groaned sadly when the song was over.

Jasper was up next. He tried to hide under his shaggy hair when the opening notes of _Barbie Girl_ by Aqua started. By the second verse he was actually getting into it, and recruited Emmett to help him with the 'come on Barbie, let's go party' part.

Bella was laughing so hard that she thought she might explode. When she returned from a trip to the ladies room, Edward was onstage, red in the face, pulling nervously on his hair. He looked at Bella and mouthed _I'm sorry_ just as the music began. _Short Dick Man_ by Gilette blared from the speakers and the crowd went nuts.

"Please tell me someone is recording this," Bella said.

Alice turned to her and let her know that they would have a CD of each performance at the end of the night.

When Edward was finished, he approached the guy running the machine and spoke to him. They smiled at each other before Edward returned to the stage.

"Hi," he said nervously, "my name is Edward and I'm here celebrating with my family. See, I'm marrying my first and only love tomorrow evening."

The crowd erupted in applause, several _aaws_, and a couple of disgusted sighs from various women around the bar.

"Bella, love, I know I kind of messed up today and I hope you can forgive me. I love you, baby."

_Crazy for You_ by Madonna began to play.

Rose and Alice moved to sit close to Bella and the three girls swayed back and forth before Edward left the stage, took Bella's hand and slow danced with her while he sang.

There was hardly a dry eye in the place when he finished. While he kissed her, Alice grabbed the microphone from him, hit the stage and did a hilarious rendition of _Baby Got Back _by Sir Mix-a-Lot to lift the mood, since everyone was all gooey from Edward's serenade.

Their food arrived shortly after so they took a break from singing to eat the mountains of beer-battered fare and sop up the vast puddles of grease. Various bar patrons came over to congratulate them, buying them beer. As much as it killed her, Bella turned them down, giving most of them to Emmett.

By the time dinner had been eaten, all non-pregnant people were pretty much drunk. Alice dragged Rose and Bella onstage and sang _Girls Just Wanna Have Fun_ by Cyndi Lauper. Bella rolled her eyes and whispered "how typical" to Rose, who laughed.

"So typical, but so fun! Come on, Bells, let loose!"

The girls danced and sang and laughed like fools. Bella felt so happy at that moment. Her family was there, Edward was beaming at her from the audience and she could swear she could feel Peanut moving around.

Carlisle and Esme got into the fun too, performing _I Got You Babe_ by Sonny and Cher. Everyone was laughing and singing along with them. Bella hugged Edward and smiled. "I hope we're like them, someday."

He smiled and kissed her forehead. "We'll be better, love."

* * *

_**I hate to break it off here...there's more "night before the wedding" shenanigans to come. The chapter was just getting way too long. I'll try really hard to get more up soon! **_

_**Your reviews are like fuel for my typing fingers.  
**_


	13. Ch 13 Shower Me

_**It's a miracle! Two updates in 24 hours! I finished this chapter and rather than make you wait for it, I'm giving it to you now. The wedding is next!!!**_

_**Stephenie Meyer is the goddess and grand master of all things Twilight.**_

When we last left them, the gang was just finishing up at the karaoke bar...

_**

* * *

  
**_

There was a lot of drunken whining when it was time to separate the groups. Even Little Miss Organizer was lamenting having to be apart form Jasper.

The girls piled into the Volvo and drove back to the house for the 'shower' while the men were hitting the town for the bachelor party before they would retreat to Casa Swan for the night.

Back at the house, Alice led Bella into the living room and made her sit, blindfolded, while they set up. She heard rustling bags, clinking, and whispering; however, the longer she sat there, the more the panic began to build. Victoria sensed something wasn't quite right and sat beside Bella, who flinched.

"Baby girl, it's me. What's going on?"

Bella inhaled a couple of ragged breaths. "Blindfold. James."

"Why didn't you say something? Take it off!" Victoria pulled it from her face and wiped away the tear that had leaked from her right eye. "Why, Bella? Why torture yourself?"

"I didn't want to ruin the fun," she said, sniffling. "Even after all these years, I still feel like such a buzz-kill."

Victoria hugged her. "Some things never change, and this is one thing that I wish had. This is your party, your night. I'm sure that Alice would understand why you wouldn't want to wear the blindfold. Sometimes you need to put yourself first."

Alice knelt in front of her. "I'm sorry, Bells, I forgot."

"It's okay, it's over. Let's get this shower going before I fall asleep."

Rose sat beside her and yawned. "I hear you loud and clear on that."

Esme came in carrying a tray of drinks. "Cocktails and mocktails are here! Let's get this party started!"

Alice put on some cheesy 80s & 90s music then she and Rose started putting bags and boxes in front of Bella.

"Holy shit guys, what is all of this?" Bella said. "Oh, sorry, Esme, language, I know."

She laughed. "Oh screw it, Bella dear, no censors tonight."

"Woo hoo! Party on! Bella, open this one first." Alice said, handing Bella a bag from Victoria's Secret.

"Oh, Alice, please tell me you didn't..." she trailed off as she reached into the bag and pulled out a skimpy royal blue negligee. "Ugh, you did."

The blush that crept into Bella's cheeks got darker with every present she opened. There was an endless array of sexy, skimpy, lacy and barely there undergarments, sex toys, lubricants and massage oils.

"Good lord, guys, when am I ever going to wear or use half of this stuff?" she picked up a pink jelly dong and shook it, watching as it jiggled. "Really? A dildo? Why would I need a dildo when I have a perfectly good Edward? Won't he feel weird about this? What if he thinks that I don't think he's good enough?"

"Actually, that's technically a _dong_, and it's from me."

Bella's jaw dropped. "ESME?"

"Sweetie, Edward is going to be working a lot and there will be times when...well, when you just can't wait for him to come home and take care of your needs, so you might want to take matters into your own hands."

"MOM!" Alice shrieked. "Victoria, I think I need intensive therapy after that. Can you schedule me in?"

Victoria and Rose were clinging to each other laughing, tears streaming down their faces.

"Oh, oh, stop! I'm going to piss my pants. The look...oh lord, if you could have seen the looks on your faces-priceless! Oh god, clear the road; Bean is bouncing on my bladder!"

* * *

Emmett drunkenly dragged Edward down the street to their next destination.

"Where are we going?" Edward asked for the millionth time.

"You'll see when we get there."

"Please say there won't be strippers."

Silence.

"Oh fuck. Oops, I'm sorry, Dad."

Carlisle laughed loudly. "It's your bachelor party, son; I'm not going to say a word. Let loose and let the shit fly."

The boys all stopped.

"What?"

"Dad, did you just say _shit_?" Edward asked, shocked.

"Shit, piss, crap, fuck."

Emmett shook his head. "I did not just hear the distinguished Carlisle Cullen drop an F-bomb. Eddie, please tell me that he didn't just swear."

"Sorry, man, I heard him loud and clear."

"Jasper, catch me, I'm going to pass out," Emmett said, fanning his face with his hand. "Oh, we're here!"

They had stopped in front of a very unassuming building.

"Where's _here_?" Edward asked.

"You'll see."

Edward feared the worst when they entered the door, but was surprised to find that it was a piano bar; a very classy, old-school piano bar.

"Emmett?"

"I know you didn't want strippers not to mention Rose and Alice would castrate Jazz and I if they found out we'd been to a strip club and I don't know if Carlisle could handle the stress."

"Hey, now, I'm only 43! I'm still young," Carlisle said, frowning. "You make me feel so old."

Edward walked into the bar and over to the piano. The pianist was playing old-time rag music. He looked up at Edward and smiled.

_Fuck. Me._

The pianist's smile faltered and he stopped playing. "Oh my god, Edward?"

Edward felt the room spinning before it went black and he passed out cold.

* * *

Edward woke up in the car.

"Edward? Can you hear me, buddy?" Jasper asked quietly.

"Jazz, what happened? How did I get in the car? Why am I in the car? Why am I lying with my head in your lap?

Jasper smoothed the hair back on Edward's face. "I don't know how to tell you this—" he trailed off.

"Oh my god, Jazz, you're gay and you drugged me on the night before my wedding!" Edward said, barely stifling a laugh.

"You really don't remember?" Carlisle asked.

"I remember greasy food, bad karaoke and, holy shit. DAD PULL OVER!"

Carlisle pulled over and Edward jumped out. He paced up and down the road pulling at his hair. "No. No, please god, tell me that didn't happen. No. Not now!" He wheeled around and grabbed Carlisle's shirt in his fists. "Dad was that..was that him?"

"Yes, son, it was."

"How? Shouldn't he be locked up?"

"He got out a couple of years ago. I had no idea where he was living. I'm sorry, Edward. I should have told you."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"We didn't think—"

"You're fucking right you didn't think!" he turned away and resumed pacing. "What part of _our son's murdering son-of-a-bitch sperm donor got out of prison_ would make your brain fart so hard that you didn't think you should tell me? Huh? Dad? Did you think I'd never see him? HUH?"

Edward yelled at his father while Jasper and Emmett stood back and watched as their brother and best friend splintered apart. This reaction was so un-Edwardian it was like watching someone else.

"Holy fuck! FUCK! FUCK! I'm getting married in less than twenty four hours and I have to deal with this?" He walked over to the nearest road sign and punched it. "WHAT THE HELL!"

He sank to his knees and rested his forehead on the ground. No one heard them at first, but they could see the sobs that tore through his body. Jasper was the first to move to him.

"I'm not being gay or anything, Edward, so don't get your panties in a twist," he whispered, putting his arms around his best friend. "It's going to be okay."

"Aw fuck, Jazzy, I don't know anymore. Bella's going to see me all broken and messed up and she's going to run away." A fresh wave of grief overtook him and he cried on Jasper's shoulder.

"Bella will only ever run to you, Edward, never away. Speaking of that beautiful fiancée of yours, we should really get you home to her before she has a coronary."

"Carlisle called and told them, didn't he?" Edward groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose, "I'm fucked, Jazzy."

"You're fine, buddy. Come on; let's go before Emmett decides to give us a hug."

Edward chuckled a little as he stood. He walked shakily to Carlisle and gave him a hug. "I'm sorry, Dad. I didn't mean to yell at you."

"It's okay, son. Come on, let's go home."

* * *

Esme's phone rang and she excused herself from the group to take the call. "Carlisle, honey, what's wrong?"

There was a brief pause in conversation before Esme shrieked. "Oh my god, what happened to him? Is he okay?"

Bella, Alice, and Rose all raced around the corner, yelling at the same time, "Who is it? What happened?"

Esme motioned for them to be quiet. "Carlisle, what? His what? He WHAT? Okay, I'm coming to get...you're almost home? I'll tell the girls. I love you too. Be safe, sweetie."

"What the fuck is going on?" Bella yelled.

"Edward." Esme started to shake. The girls led her to the couch. Victoria held her hand.

"What happened to Edward, Esme? Is he okay?"

Esme took a deep breath. "Emmett took them to a bar."

Rose ground her teeth. "If they went to a strip joint I'm going to kill my husband."

"No, it was a piano bar."

"Please, Esme, what happened to Edward?" Bella was sobbing.

Esme hugged her. "He's going to be okay, honey. He fainted, but he's going to be fine."

"Why did Edward faint?"

"He found his father."

Bella's legs gave out and she crumpled to the floor. Alice jumped up and ran to her.

"Bells? Are you okay?"

"Just...just leave me here for a minute, please."

Victoria stood up and paced. "Where are they?"

"They are on their way now. They'll be here shortly."

"Alice, your rules be damned, I'm not leaving Edward's side tonight. My god, what must be going through his head? Victoria, you'll help him, right?"

"Of course."

Bella stood up, stumbled to the big window, and looked out at the darkness. "I'm postponing the wedding."

"NO! Bella, don't say that. We'll sort this out. He won't want to cancel the wedding over this. He'll think you're having second thoughts. Please don't do this, at least not without talking to him first."

"Okay, I'll wait, but there's no promise. This was supposed to be one of the best weekends of my life and it's been nothing but one fuck-up after the other. Edward gets drunk, I faint over blood, Edward finds his murderous father...what next? James is going to walk through the door?"

The door flew open and Bella screamed.

* * *

When Carlisle opened the front door, Edward's heart stopped when he heard Bella's terrified scream. He pushed past the others and ran to her. She was pale and trembled as she reached out for him.

"Edward, what happened? Are you okay?"

"Come on, love, we need to talk," he picked her up and carried her to the deck, where he shut the door for some privacy. She clung to him as they sat on the porch swing.

"What's going on? Esme said you fainted. She said something about your father?"

He put a finger to her lips, silencing her. "Let me talk, please."

She nodded.

"I've been hiding something for a very long time."

He went on to tell her about his memories, about struggling with them, about how he was terrified he might be like his birth father, about the nightmares.

"Baby," she said as she placed a hand on his cheek, "why didn't you tell me? We could have dealt with this ages ago."

He took a deep breath. "Bella, I saw my father at a bar tonight. He was playing piano. I didn't recognize him at first but when he looked up and called me by name I knew it was him. The shock was too much."

"So you fainted."

"Yes," he sighed and leaned into her hand, "I fainted like a little girl."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm better now. But Bella, I need to know, are you afraid?"

"Afraid of what?"

"Of me? Of what I could be?"

"Oh, Edward, sweetie, you could never be like that monster. I know you better than I know myself and I know you would never hurt me or Peanut. You are not him. You are too full of love, of light."

"Bella, will you still marry me?"

"A million times over."

* * *

Esme rushed to hug Edward when he and Bella returned to the living room. "Are you okay, sweetheart? Did you hurt anything when you fell?"

"Quit fussing, Mom. I'm okay. It was just a huge shock. I wasn't expecting to see him ever again, let alone playing piano in a bar. Guess I know where my musical talent comes from.

"I realize you're all worried about me, I suppose if the shoe was on the other foot I'd be concerned too, but I've had one hell of a day and I'd just like to go to bed. I know it goes against tradition to spend the night before your wedding with the woman you're going to marry, but I can't bear the thought of being without her and Peanut right now."

"There's never been anything conventional about your relationship, so why start now?" Rose said, smiling.

"Yeah, I mean, you're marrying your sister," Emmett added.

Bella stomped on the floor. "THAT'S IT! There will be no more mention of incest, marrying a sibling, etcetera, from this point onward. I have put my foot down. Do not sully the most important day of my life with your tasteless jokes, and that includes you, big brother."

"Fine, I'll shut up."

"Thank you. Now can we please go to bed? I can't handle any more shocks, surprises, or other oddities today."

Victoria approached them. "Edward, I'm staying in the guest room if you want to talk."

"Thanks, I'm sure you'll be seeing me sooner than later."

Bella started walking up the stairs, leaving Edward behind. He stood closer to Victoria so he could whisper something to her. "Let me get Bella to sleep and I'll be over."

They got ready for bed in silence. When they curled up in bed Edward found the courage to speak. "You know I love you more than anything, right?"

"Yes, why?"

"I just wanted you to hear it."

"I hear it every day; I see it in your eyes; I feel it every time you touch me and every time Peanut flutters."

"Okay, good. You're not mad because I didn't tell you about my, uh, concerns?"

"No. I'm disappointed that you felt the need to hide it, but right now I'm just so happy to be holding you that the thought hasn't really crossed my mind. I love you Edward. I can't wait to be your wife."

"That's all I need to hear. Go to sleep, you look tired out."

"I'm exhausted. Hum a little?"

"Of course."

Edward hummed until Bella fell asleep which took no time at all. She really had been exhausted. As soon as she was under deep enough for him to extricate himself without waking her, he left to go talk to Victoria.

"Sorry it's so late," he said, apologizing.

"It's fine, Edward.'

"I knew she wouldn't go to sleep without me, and she was dead on her feet. I couldn't let her stay up a minute longer."

"I'm sure she'll appreciate it tomorrow. So, have a seat. What do you want to talk about?"

"Well, the weather is looking good for tomorrow's festivities...geez, Victoria, what do you think I want to talk about? The man who killed my mother and beat the snot out of me was in my face tonight. The one person I really never expected to see ever again and he's within spitting distance." Edward scrubbed at his face with his hands. "I took one look at his eyes and I knew. It was as if a tidal wave hit me. I...I couldn't react."

"Well shit, Edward, put anyone in your situation and not one person would react the same or in a way they would feel would be adequate. What did he do?"

"He looked at me and said: _Oh my god...Edward?_"

"Then what happened?"

"I passed out."

"Did anyone tell you what happened after that?"

"No, not really. Too weird, I guess. Oh, and my freak out on the side of the road didn't help matters any either."

"What happened?"

"Oh, I totally lost my shit. I yelled at Carlisle and I may have ripped his shirt. I punched a sign. I swore. I cried. I had a gay moment with Jasper." He chuckled at the thought of Jasper's quasi-awkward hug.

"Shit, Victoria, I didn't need this now. I'm getting married, having a baby, and trying to get through med school. Now I get to add the re-appearance of my psychotic father to the list. Man, he's not even my father; he signed away any rights he had to me 20 years ago."

"Well, my little foray into private investigation can stop because we know where he is. Did you want me to talk to him? Do you still want to know what happened?"

"No."

"You're sure?"

"Yes. I am Edward Anthony Masen Cullen and he is not my father. My father is Carlisle Cullen and he is a good, kind, loving man and I am not a product of genetics. I am who I am because of the family who raised me, not the one that birthed me."

"Are you just saying that to be brave now or do you truly believe this?"

"I have to believe it, Victoria. It would be a serious insult to all Carlisle and Esme have done for me to even consider that monster at the piano bar to be anyone but a stranger. Tomorrow marks the first day of the next stage of my life and that violent, piece of shit, piano-playing bastard has no place in it."

Victoria hugged him. "It's okay to be scared, Edward. I have got to say that this has been one mighty fucked up day."

Edward laughed. "Did you just say fuck?"

"I did."

"Wow, I just need to hear Esme say it and my life will be complete. Thanks for listening, Victoria. Charge it to our ever-growing tab."

"This is on me. Why don't we talk again after the honeymoon, after things have had a chance to sink in and settle down?"

"Sounds good to me."

"Go to bed! You've got a big day tomorrow."

* * *

Edward made a quick detour to Carlisle and Esme's room. He knocked quietly before opening the door. Carlisle was comforting Esme, who was teary-eyed.

"I know I'm kind of old for this, but I, uh, well, could I get a hug before I go to bed?"

"Edward, sweetheart, you're never too old for a hug. Come here."

Edward climbed onto the big bed and sat between his mother and father. They wrapped their arms around him and hugged so tight he thought his head might pop off. He didn't complain though, soaking in their love until it filled him and he cried. They whispered _I love you _to him and let him weep until he fell asleep in their arms, just as he used to as a child.

He slept a hard, dreamless sleep, and for that, he was thankful.

* * *

_**So, the wedding is next. I have been dying to write this chapter for a while. I'm not sure when I'll get it up, but you know I will as soon as it's ready.**_

_**Thanks again for all the reviews and love. You have no idea how incredibly happy, warm, and fuzzy it makes me feel.  
**_


	14. Ch 14 Wedding Day

_**I think this is the longest chapter yet. I spent my entire day writing it, crying, writing some more, crying some more...it was hard to write. I know a lot of you are excited about this chapter, being the wedding and all, so I hope that I've done it justice.**_

_**Stephenie Meyer has Twilight and I have a wonderful pair of black and white striped hand/wrist warmers that I wear when I'm typing to keep my fingers from falling off.**_

_When we last left them, Edward had fallen asleep in bed with his parents on the night before the wedding...

* * *

_

Bella sat up and stretched. "Edward?"

No answer.

She got up and padded to the bathroom. He wasn't there either. After draining her bladder and brushing her teeth, she ventured out into house. The sounds of sleep surrounded her in the wood-panelled hallway. _Where could he have gone?_

After walking downstairs and finding no sign of him down there, she went back upstairs. As she walked down the hall, she noticed Carlisle and Esme's door was ajar. She looked inside and the sight that greeted her brought tears to her eyes: Edward was fast asleep, sandwiched between his parents who were wrapped tightly around him. Her heart filled with so much love for him and the family as a whole that she had to walk away before she exploded and woke everyone up.

Figuring everyone would be getting up soon, she decided to get started on breakfast. Alice would be antsy to get them to the spa, so it would probably be in their best interest to get things started and prevent any undue pixie stress.

She talked to Peanut as she cooked. "Hi Peanut, I realize things have been a little weird the past couple of days, but I'm pretty sure they'll mellow out soon.

"Today is a special day, little one. Today is the day that daddy and I are getting married. I don't need a piece of paper to show that I love him, but it will certainly make some things easier, not to mention I will be taking his name. Being a Cullen is a big deal, Peanut. The Cullens are wonderful, loving people who have saved your momma too many times to count. They are kind and caring, which makes it hard to ever feel alone in this big world. Today I am officially joining them by name, and one day soon, so will you.

"You are as much a part of this family and this big day as anyone else. I can't wait to tell you all about it someday. I love you, little one. Be safe, grow strong and know that you are loved."

"Oh my god, hand me a paper towel!" Alice said, sobbing. "That was the sweetest thing I've ever heard."

She flung her arms around Bella. "Sister Mine, you are one of a kind, and I just want you to know that you have been a Cullen since the day you arrived. We are so blessed."

"We are, especially me," said a velvety voice from the hallway. "Alice, please release the bride so I can have a minute with her before I'm banished."

Bella asked Alice to finish flipping the eggs and pancakes before she walked to Edward.

"I'm sorry," he said. He kissed the top of her head.

"Don't be. It was the most adorable thing I've ever seen. I didn't think it was possible to adore you any more, but I was wrong because that damn near broke me." She kissed him deeply. "Your parents don't get you very often, and after tonight you're MINE. It would be cruel not to share."

"Thanks."

"Are you okay today?"

He smiled that dazzling smile of his and she nearly swooned. "I am. Today is our day. I refuse to let anything ruin it. Now kiss me again before I have to go."

Bella slowly, gently, bit down on that glorious bottom lip of his before she kissed him as if her life depended on it. That kiss was her heartbeat, the air in her lungs, the blood in her veins, and the fluttering heartbeat of the baby they created together.

Edward's head swam with the intensity of the kiss. To say it was anything but in the top five of the most incredible ones they had ever shared would do it a serious injustice.

They pulled apart, panting. Alice stood, spatula in hand, shaking her heard. "Save it for the honeymoon! Edward, get the boys, eat breakfast and get the hell out of here!"

"Love you too, sis," he said, dodging the spatula.

Eventually everyone gathered in the kitchen where they ate breakfast and listened as Alice briefed them on what was going to happen during the day, "as long as Drunkward and Jasscrack can stay sober."

Once breakfast was finished and the kitchen was cleaned up, the girls said their goodbyes to the boys.

"Bella, I love you," he said, leaning his forehead on hers.

"I love you too, Edward."

"We're getting married in less than 12 hours."

"I can't believe it."

"I don't want to let you go," he said, kissing her.

Before Bella could even think about deepening the kiss, Alice shoved them apart and shuffled Bella toward the door.

"I love you," she called out, reaching for him in a melodramatic way.

He laughed and played along. "I love you more! I WILL marry you even if they try to keep us apart."

"Oh, Edward, save me! I am being held hostage by an evil pixie!"

Alice snorted in disgust. "You two are pathetic. Emphasis on the 'ick.' Now come on, Bella, we have to go make you beautiful. Edward, stay put."

"You don't have to make her beautiful, she's already perfect," he called out as he waved sadly.

Emmett patted him on the back. "Let them god, bro, it's better this way."

* * *

"ALICE I AM NOT GETTING A BRAZILLIAN!" Bella said, stomping her feet on the floor of the spa. People were watching her temper tantrum with shocked awe. The soothing music of the spa was obviously not working on Bella.

"It's your wedding day," Alice said quietly, as she led Bella away from the reception area. "You can't go on your honeymoon with a wookie between your legs."

Esme gasped. "Alice!"

"What? It's true. Edward really liked your last one."

Bella blushed. "You asked him?"

"No, he made a request, so if you want to blame anyone, it's him."

"Ugh, fine. Let's get the torture over with."

"I promise that the mud wraps, facials, massages, manis and pedis will all make up for it. Trust me?"

"Nope."

"Let's get this over with before Bella throws herself on the ground and starts screaming," Rose said as she led them to the back of the salon.

* * *

Edward sat on the deck and looked out on the back yard. So much had happened in the past twenty-four hours that it made his head swim. The only thing keeping him grounded was the thought of Bella, his Bella, meeting him at the Edge of the World, promising to love him no matter what. Did she really know what that entailed now? So much had changed. Could she truly love his crazy? Love his angst? Love his past? Love him—the sum of all these complex parts?

"Eddie, you're thinking too much," Emmett said, sitting down beside him. "Stop thinking. It makes it less painful."

"Thanks, Em. I'm trying."

"I know, kid, I know. Look, since my dad isn't here to have this chat with you, it's my duty as big brother to do it."

"Oh, oh, should I be scared?"

Emmett smiled, his dimples prominent on his face, his eyes shining. "Never, brother, unless you break my baby sister's heart. Look, I owe you so much. I don't think Bella would have survived the James thing without you, or if she had, I don't think she'd have come through it as well as she has. You saved her, Edward. I can't thank you enough for that. You didn't have to, and yet you did. You were able to do what I couldn't; you protected her and helped her heal.

"So, I'm giving you my blessing, my family's blessing, to marry one of the most important people in my life. Please take good care of her."

Edward struggled to speak. "Emmett, I'll do my best. I just hope she can still love me after all that's happened."

"She loves you, man, and you know better than anyone that she's not a quitter. You got her through her rough patch, she'll get you through yours. Besides, what's happened is so not your fault. Why you think that, I don't know. You didn't kill your mother; that piano-playing bastard did.

"Please just promise you'll be good to her and Peanut. She's lost and been through so much that she deserves nothing but the best."

"I will, Em, I won't hurt her. I love her too much."

"Thanks, bro," Emmett said, wiping his eyes. "Okay, Emo Emmett has to run a couple of errands for Esme before he ends up crying like a girl. I'm putting her in your hands, Edward, don't fuck it up."

"Geez, no pressure, eh, Em?"

Emmett grinned before hugging Edward. "If I didn't trust you, today wouldn't be happening. You've had my blessing since day one."

"Thanks."

"Go pack up your shit and head down to Casa Swan. If the girls get back and see you here crying, we'll both be up shit creek."

* * *

Several hours later, Alice was met by silence when she opened the front door. "Hello?" she called out. "Okay girls, coast is clear."

The girls rushed into the house and ran giggling up the stairs to the bedrooms.

"Alice, is there time for me to take a quick nap? I'm pooped." Bella asked, yawning.

After looking at her watch, Alice said that she could spare an hour. "Go now before I change my mind."

Rose grabbed Bella's hand. "I'm coming too."

"While you two nap, we'll go make sure everything is in place. See you in a bit."

Rose and Bella flopped onto Edward's bed and fell asleep almost immediately. It felt like they had just closed their eyes when Alice was yelling at them to wake up.

"Come on! Wake up! It's time to eat and get ready. Bells, we've run a bath for you, so hop to it."

Bella groaned as she stretched, then something occurred to her and she squealed.

"What is it? What's wrong?" Alice said, worried.

"I'm getting married to Prince Charming in a couple of hours! I'm so excited I could...well, I could pee. Excuse me!"

Bella dashed off to the bathroom to relieve herself. She was in awe when she saw what Alice had done in the bathroom. The lights were dimmed, there were relaxing aromatic candles everywhere, and rose petals floating in the tub.

"Thanks, Alice. This is amazing," she called out as she slipped into the warm water. "Ahh, this is heaven."

She closed her eyes and relaxed her well-tenderized muscles. She ran her hands over the small swell of her belly and smiled. Her mind flashed to the future, of Edward holding a baby in his arms, smiling that dazzling smile of his. She couldn't help but smile too.

The feeling of hands on her head woke her from her reverie. "Hi, sweetheart, I thought maybe you'd like me to help you wash your hair."

"Thanks, Esme, I would love that." She sat up and pulled her knees up so she was resting her chin on them. Esme poured warm water over her head and massaged Bella's favourite fragrant strawberry shampoo into her long hair.

"I realize I'm not really your mother—"

"Don't ever say that, Esme. You are my mother now."

"I just want you to know that your mother would be so proud right now. You have grown up to be a wonderful young woman who has to overcome some incredible obstacles. You could have given up, but you never did. You were able to open your heart to strangers when you had no reason to trust anyone. You allowed us to love you and you gave purpose to my son."

Esme poured water over Bella's head to rinse. "Sweetheart, I want you to know that you've changed our lives in a wonderful way and we will always love you. I miss your mother, as I know you do, but I feel so blessed to love you as my daughter. You and Emmett completed our family when you came to live with us. I always knew something was missing. It was you and your brother."

Bella was crying. "Do you really think Mom would be proud?"

Esme cupped Bella's face in her hands. "Bella, I know that wherever she is, she's bursting with pride."

"I hope so."

"I know so. Okay, let's get you out of here before you turn into a prune and Alice tears my head off.

When Bella was out of the tub and warmly wrapped in Edward's bathrobe, she hugged Esme. "I love you, Esme. I don't know if I say it enough, and sometimes it feels like those words aren't strong enough to convey just how I feel. Thank you for loving me."

"You make it easy to love you, Bella, dear."

* * *

The reflection in the mirror made her gasp. "Is that me?"

The girl staring back at her was stunning. Her long brown hair was curled in ringlets and it hung loosely over her shoulders; the white Greek-style wedding dress hung from her curves in ways that accentuated their beauty; her makeup was subtle, yet flattering.

Rose put her arm around Bella and smiled. "It sure is, sweets. You are truly devastating."

"Wow," she whispered. She turned around and marveled at the beautiful woman mirroring her movements.

The photographer was off to the side snapping photos while Bella got used to seeing herself looking so feminine, so pretty.

Alice stood back, wiping an errant tear from her cheek. "I told you that you were gorgeous, Bella. I just gave your canvas a little more colour."

Bella turned and ran to hug Alice. "Sister Mine, I can't thank you enough."

"Make my brother happy and we're even."

Esme sniffled. "My girls. All my girls. So grown up and beautiful. Those boys aren't going to know what hit them when they see you. You all look so incredible."

"I guess," Bella said, smoothing down her dress, "that we should go and get me married."

They all hugged and squealed before heading down to the car. They were taking Carlisle's Mercedes. The boys had gone in the Volvo. Bella wondered how they were all going to get back to the house after the ceremony.

* * *

Edward's jaw dropped when he arrived at the site of the ceremony. Esme's surprise was beautiful. She had brought out a small gazebo, decorated it sparsely with sunflowers and a gauzy, flowy fabric. There were five chairs covered in an off-white fabric in front of the gazebo.

The sky was clear and as miraculous as his marriage to Bella. They had endured so many cloudy, rainy, days that it was almost too fitting that the ceremony signifying the beginning of their next journey would take place under a sky devoid of clouds and alive with colour. A deep orange harvest moon was beginning to creep up over the horizon.

"Perfect," he said to himself.

"Wow, Edward, this is fucking amazing," Jasper said from behind him. "Bella's going to flip out when she sees this."

Edward couldn't help the grin that took over his face. "I know."

* * *

Rose and Alice tried to hold up Bella's dress as they walked through the darkening forest toward the site of the wedding. Thankfully, Alice had sent the photographer up ahead because their trek through the path was far from graceful or worthy of being stuck in a wedding album. They were having fun, though, as they shrieked and laughed whenever someone tripped.

"Bella, your choice of venue leaves much to be desired," Alice grunted, as a twig got caught in her hair.

"Just wait, this will all be worthwhile, trust me. I can't think of any other place I would want to get married." Bella said. "I'm just worried about how hard it's going to be to get back through here in the pitch dark."

"Don't worry about that now; worry about getting to the altar in one piece."

Bella stopped dead in her tracks. "Oh."

Alice stood beside her. "What?"

"Look," Bella whispered.

Alice and Rose both followed Bella's gaze and exhaled loudly.

"Well, holy shit," Rose said. "You were right. It is worth it. Esme really came through."

"Hey, I helped," Alice said, hurt.

Bella hugged her. "It's perfect, Alice. Thank you."

Alice squirmed out of the hug and straightened out Bella's dress, hair, and handed her a bouquet of sunflowers.

"Sunflowers? I didn't think you'd let me have them!" Bella said, eyes tearing up.

"You said they were your favourite. How could I deny you? Now go out there and make my brother the happiest man on the planet. Give me a minute to get to my seat before you come, okay?"

* * *

Edward saw Alice come out of the forest and whisper something to Emmett who smiled. He got up and moved to a box behind the gazebo. Suddenly music filled the air. It was the lullaby he'd written for Bella.

He noticed movement off from where Alice had come and saw Rose walking toward them, looking radiant in a royal blue dress. She carried a small bouquet of sunflowers. She walked over to Emmett, who led her up to the gazebo, gave her a kiss, and walked back toward the forest.

Then the world stopped. Bella stepped out from the dusk and everything but them froze. She was stunning. She was beauty incarnate. She was the most impossibly beautiful creature he had ever laid eyes on.

Jasper snapped him out of his trance when he patted him on the back. "Beautiful."

Emmett put his arm out to guide Bella toward the gazebo. Edward was sure he saw tears on the big guy's cheeks. Bella looked up at him and smiled. Edward's heart exploded.

* * *

Bella's heart was pounding through her chest when she spotted Edward waiting for her in that beautiful gazebo. The sun was finally dipping behind the horizon and the waning day was wrestling with the impending night; the blues and the blacks were devouring a thin strip of orange light. A huge orange harvest moon reflected off the water and the stars were starting to grow brighter overhead. Yet, amid the intense and incredible beauty of nature, her focal point was Edward who was gorgeous in tan khakis and a white, short-sleeved dress shirt.

Emmett took her arm and led her toward her future. She looked at him briefly, not wanting to tear her eyes off that gorgeous angel before her, and she saw that her brother was crying. She squeezed his arm reassuringly.

"I love you, Bella," he said, once they reached Edward.

The Justice of the Peace cleared his throat. "Who gives this woman to be wedded to this man?"

"I do, on behalf of our parents," Emmett said as he placed Bella's shaking hand in Edward's.

She kissed her brother on the cheek. "I love you, Emmy."

He clasped his hands over theirs briefly and smiled before taking his seat with the rest of the family.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the legal union of Isabella Marie Swan and Edward Anthony Masen Cullen in the institution of matrimony. They have asked you all to be a part of this very important moment of their lives as you have been a part of so many other moments, both good and bad.

"As the sun sets behind us, so the moon rises to mark a turning of the tide, another change. Tonight we celebrate a shift in your relationship, the public vow to love one another eternally.

"Alice Cullen has requested a moment to do a reading."

Alice stood nervously and walked over beside the Justice of the Peace. "I know we're not overly religious people, but this is too fitting not to read, because it truly describes the love between our Bella and Edward:

"Love is patient, Love is kind,  
It does not envy, it does not boast,  
It is not proud, It is not rude,  
It is not self-seeking,  
It is not easily angered,  
It keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil,  
but rejoices with the truth.

Love always protects, always trusts,  
always hopes, always perseveres.

Love bears all things, believes all things,  
hopes all things, endures all things.

"If we've learned anything from Bella and Edward it's that love does endure, and love never dies. I love you both."

Bella wiped the tears from her face with her free hand and mouthed _Thank you_ to Alice.

Rose handed her a tissue. Edward squeezed her hand. When she turned to look at him, he was also crying.

"In honour of those not able to be with us in body, but who are here in spirit, I'd like to ask Bella and Edward to light candles for Renee and Charlie Swan, and Elizabeth Masen." He handed them a single candle, which they held together. Jasper lit it for them before they turned to light the three large, white pillar candles on a small side table. Each candle was flanked by a photo of the person missing from the occasion.

"I love you, mom and dad," Bella whispered as the flame from their candle licked the wicks of the candles representing her parents.

"I love you, mom," Edward said as her candle flickered to life.

Rose took their candle and blew it out. She smiled tearfully at them.

"Bella and Edward have written their own vows. I would ask now if Rosalie and Jasper could please pass them the rings. Bella, dear, you may begin."

"Edward, my dear, sweet, Edward, it's hard to come up with words to describe what you mean to me, what you are to me. After all the twists and turns along the road, you have always been my destination. All roads have led me to you, to this moment, to our unborn child.

"I could probably paint something that might reflect 1/10th of what I feel for you, but I have found words written by someone else which sum things up perfectly.

_I love you,  
Not only for what you are,  
But for what I am  
When I am with you._

_I love you,  
Not only for what  
You have made of yourself,  
But for what  
You are making of me.  
I love you  
For the part of me  
That you bring out;  
I love you  
For putting your hand  
Into my heaped-up heart  
And passing over  
All the foolish, weak things  
That you can't help  
Dimly seeing there,  
And for drawing out  
Into the light  
All the beautiful belongings  
That no one else had looked  
Quite far enough to find._

_I love you because you  
Are helping me to make  
Of the lumber of my life  
Not a tavern  
But a temple;  
Out of the works  
Of my every day  
Not a reproach  
But a song._

_I love you  
Because you have done  
More than any creed  
Could have done  
To make me good  
And more than any fate  
Could have done  
To make me happy.  
You have done it  
Without a touch,  
Without a word,  
Without a sign.  
You have done it  
By being yourself.  
Perhaps that is what  
Being a friend means,  
After all._

So, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, my love, my best friend, my everything, I give this ring as a symbol of my undying and eternal love for you. With this ring, I thee wed."

Tears were pouring down Edward's cheeks as she put the ring on his finger. In fact, there wasn't a dry eye in the area. The Justice of the Peace choked back a sob and asked Edward to proceed.

"Bella, my dear, sweet, Bella, I don't know how I'm going to beat that because what you just said, regardless of who wrote it, sums it all up for me. You stole my heart the moment you arrived in Forks. I could never imagine spending one moment away from you. Through all the trials and tribulations, I loved you still, if not more.

"Life makes no promises of a clear path and we've had many side trips along the way. There's no one else I want to take the journey with, road maps be damned, we'll find our way together.

"Since I also struggled to find my own words, I'm going to use Elizabeth Barrett Browning's:

_How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.  
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height  
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight  
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.  
I love thee to the level of everyday's  
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.  
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;  
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.  
I love thee with the passion put to use  
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.  
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose  
With my lost saints!---I love thee with the breath,  
Smiles, tears, of all my life!---and, if God choose,  
I shall but love thee better after death. _

"Isabella Marie Swan, my love, my best friend, the mother of our miracle, my heart, my soul, my breath, my life, I give you this ring as but a small symbol of my undying, unfaltering, eternal love. With this ring, I thee wed."

"By the power invested in me by the state of Washington, I am very proud to pronounce you man and wife. Edward, you may kiss your bride."

"Gladly," Edward said, grinning crookedly. He held Bella's tear-streaked face in his hands, tilted it up and kissed her gently. "I love you," he said against her lips. "Oh god, Bella, I love you so much."

Bella wrapped her arms around his neck as she returned the kiss. "I love you too."

"Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to exercise the great honour of presenting Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen. May your days be filled with joy and your nights be filled with light."

Bella looked at Edward and smiled. "We did it."

He smiled warmly at her and said, "We most certainly did."

They went over to hug their awaiting family who were all crying, before moving on to sign the documents making it all legal. The photographer caught it all on film as they signed the registration, the certificates and other documents.

Once the formalities were all over, Alice yelled over to Emmett. "It's time!"

Suddenly, hundreds of tiny lights lighted up the gazebo. The beauty of it all took Bella's breath away.

Jasper cleared his throat. "It's time for the first dance. Please join me in welcoming our newlyweds back up here."

Everyone clapped as they walked hand in hand to join Jasper. He looked over to Alice, who hit play on an iPod. When the opening notes of Gorecki began to play, Bella started to cry.

"It's like our first night out here, on my sixteenth birthday. Oh, Edward, this has been beyond perfect."

He pulled her close. "May I have this dance, Mrs. Cullen?"

"You may, Mr. Cullen."

They danced slowly to the song, singing along when they weren't kissing.

_Could we stay right here  
Until the end of time until the earth stops turning  
Wanna love you until the seas run dry  
I've found the one I've waited for_

Bella didn't want the moment to end, but all too soon they were ushered out to the rest of the family.

"We need to get back to the house," Carlisle said. "Will you be joining us?"

"I'd like a little more time out here with my wife. Is that okay?" Edward asked, wrapping his arms around Bella's waist.

"Of course. It will give us time to prepare the meal. Take your time, son." Carlisle said, handing Edward a set of keys.

"Edward, how are they going to be able to see to leave? It's so dark out now."

"Watch!" Alice said. Suddenly there were ropes of lights outlining the path and hanging from the canopy of the trees.

"Outstanding," Edward said.

"I know that Carlisle said to take your time, but seriously? Don't. We're all starving." Emmett said. "My pregnant wife gets testy if she gets hungry."

Edward laughed. "We won't be long, I promise."

After everyone had left, Edward took Bella by the hand and led her to the edge of the cliff where he held her in a tight embrace.

Bella sighed.

"What's wrong, love?"

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Everything is perfect. This surpassed any expectations I had; it was the fairy tale wedding I have always wanted."

"Really?"

"Yes, I married my Prince, the rest is just a wonderful bonus."

Edward leaned in and kissed her, his lips urgent, his hands cupping her ass. His tongue delved deep into her mouth when she groaned upon feeling Adam pressing into her stomach.

"Edward," she moaned, "please."

"I don't want to ruin your dress," he said as he ground his pelvis into her.

"I can fix that," Bella said, pulling her dress over her head.

"I see your _something blue_," he said, fingering the royal blue garter on her pale thigh.

"Mm..."

"Are these earrings borrowed?" he asked as he grazed her earlobes.

"Yes," she panted. Her hands reached down to his button, quickly popping it open. Edward growled against her neck as she slowly pulled down his zipper.

His hands cupped her breasts, inciting a moan from her as she fumbled with his boxer shorts.

"Bella, love, I'm going to fuck you now, but I promise I'm going to make love to you later. We're on a bit of a tight schedule right now."

"Please, Edward. Fuck me."

Edward nearly short-circuited when he heard Bella beg him to fuck her. He shoved his hands down and pulled her thong off as quickly as possible, stopping only long enough to hiss when he saw that Pandora's lawn had been mowed. He knelt in front of her and suckled her hairless sex. "Remind me to thank Alice," he said as he took a breath.

"Oh, fuck, Edward, stop admiring the landscaping and do it. I can't hold on...oh...fuck me!"

Edward had shoved two fingers inside her dripping mound and rapidly brought her to orgasm with just a few strokes.

"Bella, come here," he pulled her down onto his lap. She took Adam in her hand and stroked him twice before leaning down to lick the pool of pre-cum from his head. Edward had no warning for what came next. Bella shifted and sheathed herself around his throbbing erection so fast he didn't see it coming. She rode him with abandon, loudly calling out his name.

Edward heard the echoes of her second coming reverberating off the cliffs and carrying along the water. It was enough to push him over the edge. He thrust hard into her three more times before he was spent.

"I love you, Bella Cullen."

"I love hearing you call me that."

"We should probably get back to the house. The sooner we get the party over with, the sooner I can make love to you, the way it should be done on a honeymoon."

They kissed one more time before getting up and putting their clothes back on. Edward packed up a couple of things and swung his new wife onto his back to carry her through the lit-up forest to where their family was waiting to celebrate their love.

* * *

**_I REALLY hope you guys liked the wedding. The reception and honeymoon are coming up. I will try to update soon, but I think I need to take a day or two break. I spent my entire Sunday writing this chapter and I'm burning out._**

_**Alice's reading was ****Corinthians 13:4-7 **_

_**Bella's vow came from a piece I believe to be by Roy Croft (although in the book in which I found it a million years ago, it was listed as having been done by Anonymous)**_

_**Edward's vow is Elizabeth Barrett Browning's Sonnet #43, From the Portuguese**_

_**The first dance song is (once again) Gorecki, by the wondeful group LAMB.**_

_**Thank you all so much for all the love, reviews, PMs and votes of confidence. I hope this is worthy of more. :)  
**_


	15. Ch 15 Mystery Destination

_**I can't thank you all enough for the love you gave me on that last chapter. It was a true labour of, well, love. I'm thrilled that you liked it and that I made you cry. Yes, i'm just that ebil *grin* I don't think there'll be any tears in this chapter, but I'll warn you now that it's lemony.  
**_

_**Sorry for the delay in getting this up. I know that some of you were itching to start the honeymoon. **_

_**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight but I own a desktop computer that smells like melting plastic. **_

When we last left them, Bella and Edward were, uh, well, they were getting freaky on the cliff just after their wedding ceremony.

_**

* * *

  
**_

The family was gathered on the deck watching Emmett do his best Julia Child impression. Bella grabbed Edward's hand and pulled him through the kitchen. "I love Em's Julia impersonation! Hurry!"

Emmett was just finishing up when they walked out.

"Oh, damn it! Emmy, would you please do it again?" Bella begged.

"No, you made your choice to go have sex with Eddie. There will be no second show tonight. Emmett has left the building."

"Boo to you," she said, sticking her tongue out at him. "It was totally worth it though."

"Ew! Please, Bella, not around the food," Alice said, disgusted.

The photographer was still there, snapping away. He asked if he could get a shot of the whole family, then he did some of just the Cullen/Swan kids, then the Cullen/Swan/Hale crew; some were serious, others ridiculous, and some were downright obscene.

Bella and Edward posed with Esme and Carlisle, then with Victoria, and finally, he took a series of the newlyweds by themselves. He showed them some of the shots and Bella couldn't help but tear up—they were beautiful.

Emmett pulled the last of the meat off the grill and called everyone to the dining room where there was a massive buffet of food. They convinced the photographer to stay and eat with them so he could get some shots of Bella and Edward cutting the cake.

By the time they were ready for cake it was almost midnight. Bella was running on fumes at that point, but played the bride role like a pro. As soon as everyone was pleased with the last of the photos, Edward announced he was taking his bride and putting her to bed. They had a long trip ahead of them and it had been a long day.

Everyone hugged them goodnight and promised to see them off in the morning. Edward scooped up Bella and piggybacked her down to Casa Swan, which had been decorated with condoms and sex toys.

"Emmett?" Bella asked, pretty confident she already knew the answer.

"Is there any doubt?"

When they reached the threshold, Edward flipped her around and carried her across in the traditional manner before practically sprinting up the stairs to her former bedroom.

"Whoa there, Speedward, what's the rush? I thought we were going to sleep?"

Edward set her on the bed before pinning her and growling in her ear. "Sleep, schmeep. It's our wedding night and I plan on keeping you up all night long."

"What about our trip?"

"You'll have LOTS of time to sleep on the plane," he said, pulled at her dress impatiently. "Mm, off with the dress."

"I thought you liked my dress."

He nuzzled his face between her breasts. "I like it better on the floor."

Tired of waiting for her to act, he ducked under her dress and kissed his way up to Pandora, who was dripping in anticipation.

"I see you never found your underpants."

"Mm..." she moaned as his tongue traced her nether lips. "No, I...oh God, Edward, I, uh...I, didn't...oh Lord...I didn't find them. Fuck me!"

He laughed into her as he slowly inserted two fingers, curling them just enough that they hit her g-spot with each thrust.

Bella bucked against him as she pulled the dress up high enough that she could entwine her fingers in his hair. As she pulled on it, he increased the intensity of his strokes, the pressure of his tongue on her enlarged clitoris.

"Edward, I'm...I'm...I'm coming!" she shrieked. Sure enough, Edward felt a change in pressure and an increase of fluid. Bella rode the wave until the last spasm was wrenched from her. She lay on the bed, panting.

Edward crawled up and kissed her. Bella moaned at the taste of herself on his tongue. She held him tight to her and ground her hips against his throbbing erection.

"Now, now," he said, breaking the kiss. "I do believe that we're getting ahead of ourselves. There is a present for you in the bathroom."

"I don't think I can walk. I think you reduced my bones to dust with that last one."

"Then allow me to carry you, my wife," he said smiling crookedly at her. "I have so much more in store for you."

Bella shuddered. "Oh, God, I don't know if I can take it."

He scooped her up and carried her into the bathroom where he slowly took off her dress, caressing her gently, placing soft kisses on her skin, murmuring adorations. When he reached her belly, he kissed it gently, ran his hand over it, and whispered, "I love you, Peanut. I love you so much. I hope that all of daddy's, uh, banging around, isn't disturbing you."

Bella ran her fingers through his hair. "I think Peanut can hear you, or feel your vibrations. I can feel fluttering."

Edward kissed her belly one last time before standing to kiss her lips. It was slow, gentle, and so full of love that Bella's legs threatened to give out. When he broke the kiss, he passed her a box. She opened it up and found a beautiful royal blue negligee. Edward loved seeing her in blue.

"Do you like it?"

"It's beautiful."

He leaned in and kissed her neck as his hands ran down her arms then moved them so they were above her head. He pulled the nightgown over them and sensually smoothed it over her body.

"Delicious," he said, huskily.

"I have a question," she said, before biting his neck, "why am I getting dressed if you're just going to undress me again?"

His hands roamed the planes and curves of her body as he took her mouth in a long, heated kiss. She tangled her hands in his hair, pulling him closer. He moaned into her mouth as he ground himself into her.

Bella pulled out of the kiss. "Come with me."

Taking him by the hand, she led him back to the bedroom. She had him stand in the middle of the room while she dug around in a drawer. She returned with a scarf. Holding it up, she motioned for approval to blindfold him.

Edward bit his lip and nodded as he bent his head down so she could reach to tie it on.

"Too tight?" she asked.

"Just right." He reached for her but she gently slapped away his hand.

"No, Edward, no touching yet. You're wearing entirely too many clothes."

He nodded.

"I'm going to help you out of them. Should I start at the top and work my way down?" She dragged a finger down his chest as she said the last word.

His breath hitched when her finger ran over the bulge in his khakis. "Yes, please."

Edward felt nothing for a moment and wondered if she had left. Suddenly her hands were on his chest, inching their way to the buttons on his shirt. One by one, she slowly undid them, placing a heated kiss on each spot of newly exposed skin. Edward's hands twitched at his side; so desperate to bury themselves in her long, brown hair.

Once the last button had been undone, she ran her soft hands up his lightly muscled torso until she reached his shoulders. She pressed herself against him as she slowly pushed the cotton shirt from his body. Bella nipping at his neck, ears, shoulders, and nipples heightened each agonizing second it took to fall to the ground.

"Oh, God, Bella."

"Yes, Edward?"

"You're killing me."

She giggled. "I didn't realize I had that kind of effect on you."

"You always have," he said, his voice thick with heated lust. "Adam is getting anxious."

Bella took his hand in hers and guided it to her wet centre. He groaned when he touched her. "Pandora's ready, but I'm not done with you."

She ran her hands down to his waist, following the distinct outlines of his hip dents. Edward felt her fingers just under the waistband of his pants. His breathing increased and became embarrassingly loud. The button popped open and he could hear and feel as the zipper was pulled down one agonizing tooth at a time. A very loud groan escaped from deep in his throat.

Bella gently ran her finger from the base of his raging hard on to the top before repeating the same movement with her mouth. The thin fabric between her hot breath and the sensitive skin of his shaft acted as a conduit; the mix of heat, soft cotton and friction was about to send him over the edge.

Suddenly, Bella hitched her fingers in the elastic of his boxers and pulled them down. The motion, the sensation of cool air, the element of surprise—it was almost too much. "Bellaaa..." he groaned, his hips involuntarily bucking toward where he thought she was.

"Edward, behave."

"I can't hang on. I need you."

"What's that?"

"I need you. Please. I need to make love to you NOW!"

Bella stepped away from him. He could hear her rustling around and then moving in the direction of the bed.

"Turn around, Edward."

He turned around, raising his hands to remove the blindfold.

"No, not yet. Do you trust me?"

"Implicitly."

"Take three steps forward."

Edward followed her direction.

"I love you, Edward."

"As I love you, Bella."

"Take off the blindfold, please."

Edward reached up and removed the scarf. The sight that met his sensitive eyes was enough to make him weep. Bella was in the middle of the bed wearing a camisole and boy shorts, her slight baby bump peeking out.

"Beautiful. My god, you're beautiful."

"You're not disappointed? I'm really not a negligee kind of girl."

Edward crawled up on the bed and began removing her boy shorts, then placed himself between her legs. "Sweetheart, I would love you wearing a neon muumuu, fedora, and Groucho Marx glasses-including the nose and mustache. Right now, though, I don't want you wearing anything at all because when I make love to you, I don't want anything to come between us."

He positioned himself so Adam's head was just barely inside. He pushed in slowly, almost painfully slow, wanting to enjoy each delicious second of it.

Bella pulled her top off and tossed it aside before reaching down to pull him deeper into her.

"Tut-tut, love, I want this to last. After your little stunt just now, I'm barely hanging on."

"Fuck," she grunted. She lifted her hips to encourage him to penetrate deeper, but he pulled back, teasing her by only dipping the tip in and out. Bella was feeling so frustrated that she threw her hands back above her head. In that moment of distraction, he buried himself to the hilt.

Bella cried out at the exquisite fullness of having Edward inside her. He thrust in and out lazily before rolling her over on her side, flipping her legs as they moved so he wouldn't lose the connection. He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her back to his chest. She lifted a leg and hitched it back over his hip, pulling him deeper inside.

"Oh God," she panted.

Edward's right hand moved down and stroked her clit as he pumped in and out of her.

Bella threw her head back and cried out. "Too much! Too Much!" She grabbed at his hand but he remained locked on her.

The first orgasm made her black out momentarily. Edward shifted them around and when Bella regained her senses, he was on top again, with her legs hooked over his shoulders. He lifted her hips and the new angle brought her over the edge almost immediately.

"Edward, please..."

"What, love?"

"Come!"

"Why?" he grunted.

"Can't...too much..."

Bella reached down and held him as he pounded harder and harder before he finally tensed and fell on top of her.

They lay entangled on top of the sheets, Edward still inside her. He pushed the sweaty wet hair from her face and kissed her deeply.

"I love you, Mrs. Cullen."

"I love you more, Mr. Cullen."

In the moments he took to calm his heavy breathing, Bella had already fallen asleep.

"Sleep well, love, you've earned it."

* * *

" Bella?"

"No."

"Wake up, love. We have a plane to catch."

"Don't wanna," Bella said, trying to pull the blankets over her head.

"Please?" Edward said, peppering her face with sweet kisses.

"Fine. How much time have I got?"

"We have time to shower quickly, run up to the house to say bye, and get to the airport."

"Let's get 'er done, then."

"So, uh, last night was, um, interesting," Bella said quietly, as she stood in front of the mirror, drying her wet hair after their quick shower.

"Yeah, it was."

"So, I, uh, blacked out after the first orgasm," she blushed as she brushed her hair.

"Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

'No, no, I'm fine. When I told you it was too much, it might actually have been too much. I've never come like that before."

"Are you sure I didn't hurt you or Peanut?"

"Nope, we're both fine. Peanut's been active since we got up."

"Okay, I just didn't want to hurt you."

"Oh, it didn't hurt; in fact, it was quite the opposite." She winked before leaning in to give him a kiss.

The left Casa Swan, walking hand in hand up to the main house where the others were eating breakfast and talking.

"It's about time!" Alice yelled.

"Sorry, someone was having a hard time getting out of bed," Edward said, nudging Bella.

"Here, have a bite to eat before you go." Esme handed them each a plate of assorted breakfast fare.

"So, Edward, are you ever going to tell me where we're going?"

"Nope."

Bella pouted as she picked at the fruit on her place.

"Alice, is everything packed?" Edward asked his sister.

"Yes, but I'm baffled by need for some of the items you asked me to pack. Where ARE you taking her?"

"You'll all know when I tell you. Carlisle?"

Carlisle handed him an airline envelope. "Here you go, son. First Class."

"Perfect, thanks. The car arrangements?"

"All ready."

Edward smiled as he finished eating his breakfast.

As soon as they were done and Bella had gone to pee one last time, they said goodbye to the family, thanking each of them for their help. The women were all crying as they drove away, although Bella thought she saw Emmett wiping away a tear.

"Seriously, honey, where are you taking me?"

"You'll find out at the airport. Can you wait that long?"

"Sure, I guess. I have no choice, do I?"

"Nope."

Bella slept most of the way to Seattle. They moved quickly once they arrived at SEATAC. Edward tried to keep the airline agents from ruining his surprise and was successful until the very last one they saw before boarding the plane wished them a wonderful honeymoon in Nova Scotia.

"Nova Scotia?"

"Yes, love."

"We're going to spend our honeymoon in Canada?"

"Yes, love. Is that problem?"

"No, it's just unexpected."

They boarded the plane and looked anxiously to see if Kate was working. Sadly, she wasn't and First Class was about half-full. No Mile-High fun for them.

They fell asleep quickly and woke when they arrived in Toronto. They switched planes and managed to stay awake for the flight to Halifax.

"Edward," Bella said as they waited for their luggage. "What made you think about having our honeymoon here?"

"Dr. Black has a cottage here. He asked if we'd like to use it. It's secluded, on the water and from what I've seen and heard, it's truly spectacular."

"Okay, I'm cool with that."

"Are you really? You said you didn't care where we went, as long as it wasn't Antarctica."

"True, but it IS Canada," she joked.

"Yes, but the average daytime temperature where we're going at this time of year is mid-90s. We won't be freezing by any means, not to mention Dr. Black said that the water is warm as a bathtub some days."

"I don't care where we are, as long as I'm with you."

"That," he said, bending down to pick up their luggage, "makes me happy."

"So, how much further until we reach our destination?"

"It's about an hour and half by car, which we still need to pick up."

They arrived at the rental counter to get the keys to the luxury SUV they would be renting for the duration of their honeymoon. As they were leaving the site of the airport, Edward stopped at the Tim Horton's drive-thru to pick up a coffee for himself, some tea for Bella, and a pack of Timbits, which turned out to be the "holes" of the donuts dusted and stuffed with all kinds of wonderful things.

"Dr. Black said that the cottage should be fully stocked. His son Jacob is living out there in another cottage and he was in charge of getting everything ready."

"That's so sweet of him to do this," Bella said, yawning.

"Sleep, love. I'll have the GPS and my mp3 player to keep me company."

"Thanks."

Edward followed the sound of James Bond's voice leading him to their destination. God bless TomTom and GPS navigation in general. He wasn't sure if he would have been able to find his way on his own, as it was well off the main highway in a rural community, just before the New Brunswick border.

"Bella, wake up. We're here."

"Mm...she said, stretching. "Where exactly is..."

Bella trailed off as her eyes adjusted to the sight before her. "Oh my."

Edward fished around for the camera before exiting the vehicle. He snapped a couple of photos before he opened Bella's door.

"Oh, Edward, this is...there are no...wow."

Bella stepped forward and walked toward the edge of the bank. The sun was setting in the most incredible shade of orange she had ever seen. The tide was out, the beach was dotted with watery pools of orange and dark, shadowy blue heron standing on the waterline.

"I've never seen anything like it. How can the sun set like this here and not back home? Or, in Forks? I wish I had my paints here."

Edward stood back and snapped more photos of the sunset, of Bella's silhouette bathed in the fiery glow, of the reflection in the massive window of the cottage.

"Dr. Black said that the sunsets would be amazing, but wow," he said, walking toward her.

Bella hugged him. "How many of these do we get?"

"We have ten nights here. I hope it doesn't rain."

"Forecast is looking good." An unfamiliar voice behind them made them both jump. "Sorry about that. I'm Jacob Black, Dr. Black's son."

Jacob Black was a formidable creature. Standing at a towering 6'6" (at least), his dark skin was complimented by a head of long, flowing, silken black hair. He looked to be around their age. He stepped forward and extended his hand.

"You must be Edward, and this little beauty here must be Bella. Congrats on the wedding."

"Thank you, Jacob. Is it always like this?" Bella asked as she swept her arm across the now-fading horizon.

"Yeah, most nights it is. You'd think that after spending so many years here I'd be used to it, jaded even, but that's so not the case. They just get better and better.

"So, can I help you unload?"

"Sure," Edward said, smiling. "Thanks so much for all of your help getting this set up for us."

"No problem. Leah and I spend our summers out here so it was no big inconvenience."

"Leah?"

"My fiancée. She's in town picking up a few things right now. We thought it would be a nice night for a bonfire. You're welcome to join us later. Now, let's get you settled. Bella looks like she could use a pit stop."

Bella was dancing around. "Yeah, I really could use one. I didn't want to say anything to ruin the moment."

Jacob laughed. "Welcome to Tidnish, where every night promises a new moment."

The cottage was incredible. It was an A-frame and housed most of life's modern conveniences. The first floor was open-concept, with a spacious kitchen and dining area. The living room was situated in front of the floor-to-ceiling windows which faced the beach. The residual coloured light from the darkening sky bathed the room in a comforting, warm, orange glow.

Jacob showed Bella to the washroom, then set about showing Edward where the essentials and the "extras" were kept. Dr. Black had spared no expense with the special items Edward had requested.

When Bella emerged from the bathroom, no longer dancing, Jacob showed them the upstairs. There were three bedrooms, and a phenomenal master bathroom that housed a massive Jacuzzi tub. Just outside the bedrooms was a railing that overlooked the first floor and faced the large windows.

"I'll leave you two to settle in. I've left the number for our cottage by the phone. We're next door if you need us. Please don't hesitate to come down to the beach later for hot dogs and marshmallows."

Edward shook Jacob's hand again. "Thank you so much."

"If you're half as great as my father said you were, then it's my pleasure." He smiled widely as he left.

Bella walked to Edward and hugged him. "Well, husband, what do we do now?"

He nipped at her earlobe and growled. "I know what I'd like to do, but first, we need to get settled in and have some supper."

"Can we please go to the bonfire? I'd love nothing more than to have a burnt wiener and a flaming marshmallow."

"Are you serious?"

"Yup. Ever since he mentioned it, my mouth has been watering."

"Not the healthiest supper...can we compromise?"

Bella pouted. "Are you going to be all Protectward on me while we're here?"

"No, love, it's just that neither of us have been eating all that healthy. Why don't I make a salad? We can eat that to tide us over until the bonfire."

"That sounds good. While you do that, I'll go unpack."

He kissed her before releasing his grip. She skipped up the stairs to the bedroom. She put away Edward's clothes and toiletries before she opened her bulging suitcase.

"I'm going to kill her!" Bella yelled.

Alice had packed some impossibly skimpy items in her bag, not to mention an assortment of lube and a couple of sex toys. How she had made it through security without them embarrassing her, she had no idea.

Thankfully, though, she'd packed some normal clothes. Bella pulled on her Dartmouth hoodie, finished unpacking and went downstairs. Edward was just plating a beautiful salad.

"Mm, this looks wonderful." Bella snagged a piece of broccoli and gnawed on it.

Edward stared at her. "So do you.".

Bella rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I know you're all keyed up to get into Pandora's box, but you don't have to go all Sapward on me. You know you're guaranteed entry."

He cocked an eyebrow at her. "What's with all the deviations from my name? I mean, I've heard Sapward, Drunkward, Speedward, but Protectward?"

"Oh, the girls and I have a long list of 'wards."

"Am I that bad?" He looked hurt.

"Oh, baby, it's all in good fun. One of my favourites is Sexward." She waggled her eyebrows at him.

"You don't like Edward?"

"I don't like Edward, I love Edward in ways that Sexward, Drunkward, Sapward, Protectward, Emoward, Hotward, and all the others, would never comprehend."

"I'm glad you clarified that. I was starting to worry."

Bella kissed him long and hard. "Never worry where my love for you is concerned. Ever."

"Eat before I decide to make you the main course," he said, huskily.

They sat and ate; talking about things they could do and see while in the area.

"We can go to New Brunswick if you want. There's a town just across the border called Sackville and I hear they have an incredible waterfowl conservation park with boardwalks, observation towers, and whatnot." Edward said as he looked through a pamphlet.

"That sounds nice, but I'm looking forward to lots of sun, swimming, and long walks on the beach too. Oh, and watching sunsets. I really wish I had brought some of my supplies, though. Maybe there's a store in that town that has art supplies. I would hate to see all this beauty go to waste."

"Ah ha, wedding present time." He disappeared into a small room just beyond the kitchen. When he returned, he carried an easel, a paint box, and some canvasses.

"What? How?" She jumped up, grabbing some of the load.

"I asked Dr. Black to arrange for it. I knew you wouldn't be happy without some supplies."

"Thank you!"

"After seeing photos of this place on his office walls, I knew it would be a wonderful place for you to do some painting. There is no greater muse than Mother Nature."

"I married a God," Bella said, smiling. "Ooh, is that smoke I see? Is it time for hot dogs?"

* * *

_**I know, I know...most people go someplace exotic on their honeymoon, but I really wanted to send them someplace different. What better place to send them but my favourite little corner of Heaven on Earth. Yes, folks, Tidnish, Nova Scotia exists and it is just as beautiful as i'm hopefully making it sound. Google It.  
**_

_**Yes, Jacob Black has decided to make an appearance in this story. I wasn't sure if he was going to, but he insisted (as did some of you, who were missing him).**_

_**So, I hope you enjoyed this first part. Please let me know what you think. I love hearing from y'all.**_

_**The next chapter might be a little longer coming. I have to go out of town this weekend. A friend of mine died tragically in March and I'm heading to a benefit show being held in her honour. Her body still hasn't been found, and we're all hoping that this will be a good chance to find some closure. So I hope you'll understand if i'm a little slower posting. (Sorry to go all Sapward/Downward/Depressedward on you!)  
**_


	16. Ch16 Bonfires and Bon Temps

_**Sorry about last chapter's juicy lemon. I think I may have blinded a couple of you. *grin***_

_**This is probably the shortest chapter I've written for this story. I had a chance to get some work done on it today and wanted to make sure you had something to read while I'm out of town.**_

_**I didn't realize how many people would be happy to see Jacob. He and Leah are going to be around for a bit, so you can breathe easy.**_

_**Stephenie Meyer still owns the Twilighty goodness, I just borrow it, twist it a lot, and smile like a goon when I read your reviews.

* * *

  
**_

Edward grabbed a blanket and his Dartmouth hoodie before taking Bella's hand and leading her down the staircase to the beach below.

Jacob was throwing wood onto a roaring fire while a pretty girl with long dark hair was unpacking food from a cooler.

"Bella! Edward! Come on over. Leah, this is..."

Leah jumped up and wiped her hands on her pants before shaking their hands. 'Yes, Jake, I heard you. Hi, Bella and Edward. Congratulations! Come, sit."

Edward sat on the sand and rested against a large sandstone rock. Bella sat between his legs, leaning back on his chest.

"Hot dog?" Leah asked.

"Oh, please!" Bella's mouth began watering again.

Leah expertly sharpened the end of a stick with a Swiss Army knife before handing it to her. Bella speared a raw hot dog on the pointy end. She swore she felt Edward flinch behind her when she did it. Giggling, she lowered it into the fire and watched as it plumped and sizzled.

Edward hummed quietly to her while she tended to the roasting meat. When she pulled it out of the fire all burnt and crispy, he whispered, "Are you going to share?"

Bella cocked her head to the side, pretended to think it over before telling him no.

Leah laughed and handed Edward a stick of his own, with a hot dog already dangling off the end. "If you're anything like Jake, you're probably a little squeamish about putting your own on," she winked at them. "I hope you don't mind that I did it for you."

"Not at all; your presumption was astute."

Jacob and Leah sat down with them. Jacob rummaged around in the cooler. "Beer?"

Edward looked for permission from Bella who nodded her okay. "I will, but Bella..."

"I'm pregnant, so sadly, no beer for Bella."

Leah brightened up. "How about I run up to the cottage and grab some non-alcoholic drinks? Are water and lemonade okay?"

"Perfect. Thanks."

Leah was back in no time; canned lemonade and bottled water in hand.

"Thanks, Leah. I think I'll start with the lemonade."

"So, when are you due?"

"End of January. I'm only fourteen weeks along right now."

"That's so awesome. I'm so happy for you."

Jacob pulled Leah over and hugged her tightly, kissing the top of her head. They were such a cute couple.

"This going to sound weird, but what's that smell?" Bella asked, scrunching up her nose.

Jacob laughed. "That is the smell of salt marsh. This is a particularly marshy area. You probably didn't notice on your way down the lane, but there are a few open, marshy spots. The sand here is different too. It's more like red mud, and in some spots you'll find clay."

"There's real clay in the ground here?" Bella said, perking up.

"Yup. I can show you some spots while you're here, if you like."

"I would!"

"Bella's an artist," Edward said proudly.

"I gathered as much when I picked up the art supplies. Well, you're in the right place for that. Can I get anyone another hot dog?"

"No thanks, but I'd love to torch a marshmallow or two."

"I can do you one better," Leah said as she rummaged around in a bag beside her. "How would you like to make some smores?"

Bella shuddered violently, inciting a laugh from Edward.

"I think you just said the magic word or else my wife is having spontaneous orgasms."

She elbowed him in the ribs, while Jacob and Leah laughed.

"I think having you two around is going to be a blast," Jacob said as he raised his beer. "Cheers to new friends and newlyweds!"

Bella fell asleep after eating six smores. _Someone's going to have a stomachache, _Edward thought. He said goodnight to their new friends and carried Bella up to the cottage where he put her down on the bed and began to undress her.

"Mm, Edward," Bella said sleepily.

"Yes, love?"

"Can we just sleep tonight? I ate too much."

"Of course."

"Thank you. I love you."

"I love you more. Sleep well. I'll be in to bed soon."

After tucking her in, he went downstairs to do the dishes and send an e-mail to the family. He uploaded some of the photos he'd taken earlier so he could show them just how beautiful it was.

_Dear family,_

_Bella and I have arrived at our destination after an uneventful trip. Tidnish, Nova Scotia is just as beautiful as I had hoped. (Alice, Nova Scotia is in CANADA, and you should Google Tidnish so you know that we're not in some backwoods slum.) It's not exotic like Fiji or the Cayman Islands, but it's perfect for us._

_Dr. Black's cottage is wonderful. We have a view of the water from the living room, so we never have to miss a moment of the sunset. The bugs are a little bad, but it's nothing we can't handle._

_We met Dr. Black's son Jacob and his fiancée Leah, who are both wonderful people. They had a bonfire tonight down on the beach and we roasted things and drank beer. (BTW, Emmett, I think Jacob would give you a run for your money. Dude is HUGE!) _

_Bella's upstairs sleeping right now. She sends her love._

_I can't thank you all enough for everything you did to make our wedding so memorable and wonderful._

_Well, time for bed. We love you all! Hope you enjoy the photos I'm sending along. These don't do justice to what greeted us as we pulled into the cottage._

_All my love,_

_Edward_

* * *

When Edward woke up the next morning, Bella was nowhere to be found. He walked downstairs and looked out the window, where he saw her walking along the edge of the water talking to Leah. He was glad to see her looking so happy, so relaxed.

"Morning."

Edward turned to see Jacob standing at the door.

"Coffee?"

"Thanks. You're going to spoil us if you're not careful."

"It's worth seeing Leah so happy." Jake handed a mug of coffee to Edward. "She rarely has anyone to talk to down here, well, other than me. As you'll no doubt notice once you go exploring, most of the cottagers here are senior citizens."

'I could see how that could get lonely. Want to grab a seat on the deck?"

"Sure. We'll need to grab some chairs from the shed."

Jacob and Edward grabbed some plush deck chairs from the little shed nestled behind the cottage. Edward noticed a large hammock as well. He'd have to set it up later.

"Care for a muffin, Jacob?"

"Please, call me Jake. Sure, I'd love one."

Edward returned with a plate of muffins and placed it on a table between them.

"Leah's been really down lately. My dad thought it might be good for her to meet Bella."

"Why's that?"

"Leah and I recently found out that she may not be able to have kids. She's always wanted a houseful, but it's not looking good. Dad mentioned that Bella had also been told that, and here she is, pregnant.

"I don't want to give her false hope because I can't stand to see her so broken, but it's probably good that she's talking to someone who went through the same thing. So, how'd you do it? In vitro? Fertility Drugs?"

"The old-fashioned way—years of unprotected sex and a miracle. We weren't trying to conceive, we just assumed nothing would happen, then the next thing you know, Bella's tired, horny, and moody as hell. I had wanted to wait until I was out of med school before we tried to have kids, but here's Peanut and I couldn't be happier."

"Maybe there's still hope," Jacob said wistfully.

"After meeting Bella and hearing her story, I became a true believer in hope and miracles."

"Not an easy childhood?"

"Not my story to tell. I'm sure if you ask her, she'll tell you. She does public speaking engagements about it."

* * *

Leah skipped a flat piece of sandstone out into the water. The brittle stone shattered and hopped along the surface. The tide was about to turn and head back in so it would be a great day for a late afternoon swim.

Hanging out with Bella had been fun. They laughed and giggled like old friends. She knew she had a kindred spirit in her, so why was it so hard to talk to her about it. Desperate to ask Bella about her miracle, she finally just blurted it out.

"I can't have kids."

Bella stopped to look at Leah, who was looking nervous. She took her hand and held it. "I'm so sorry, Leah."

"Jake's dad told us about you, about the baby."

"He did?"

"Yes. Please don't be mad at him; he thought that talking to you might help."

"I'm not sure what I can do, but I'm here for you."

"How did you do it?" Leah's sad brown eyes were tearing up.

Bella reached over to wipe them away. "We stopped believing, or at least I did. Edward never lost hope. After all I've been through you'd think that I'd be the number one believer in the impossible becoming possible, and for a lot of things, that's true, but with Peanut," she rubbed her belly, "I had no faith in a miracle happening whatsoever."

"What happened to you, Bella? Oh crap, listen to me, I'm sorry. I'm being nosy."

Bella smiled warmly at her. "It's okay, I actually get paid to talk about it in front of large groups of people. I was physically and sexually abused when I was fourteen. I nearly died a couple of times...oh look; there are the boys. Why don't we go up and I'll tell you and Jacob the whole story so I won't have to do it twice. I've told it a million times but it never gets any easier."

Leah hugged her. "Thanks for being so cool about this. This is your frigging honeymoon and you're listening to my woes."

"I don't mind at all, Leah. I'm glad to have you here. I miss my girlfriends. You'd love them."

They splashed up the beach toward the cottage. Edward met them at the top of the stairs with towels, while Jacob was standing by with a plastic pan of warm water for their feet.

"Coffee? Tea?" Jacob asked, as he bent down to hug Leah.

"Coffee," Leah said, giving him a kiss on the nose.

"I'll take some tea, please."

"I'll be right back." Jacob took off through the bushes.

"How was your walk?" Edward asked as he hugged her. "I missed you."

"I missed you too. It was great. Leah and I were just talking and I want to tell them my story; I think Leah needs to hear it."

"I know, Jake told me. Are you sure you feel okay to do this?"

"Of course, I don't want to give her any false hope, though; I think we're the exception."

"That's because you're exceptional."

Jacob returned with a round of hot drinks for everyone. Bella took a moment to centre herself before opening up to her new friends.

Leah cried through a lot of Bella's painful story. Jacob clenched his fists angrily.

"Bella, I'm so sorry you went through all of that," Leah said, sniffling, "my God, no wonder you lost faith."

"I'm not sorry now. Things happen for a reason and while I can't say that the road here was paved with gold, I'm happy where I've ended up. I wanted to die, I won't lie. None of it made sense; there was nothing logical about the abuse, but really, is there ever?

"I'm happier now than I could ever imagine being. I have a fantastic family, I married my prince, and now, there's Peanut; however, I'm constantly waiting to find out that this is a dream, that I'm being Punk'd. Until that moment comes, I'm going to soak up the joy I'm experiencing now for those days when there's none to be found."

Leah hugged her. "Thank you, Bella. I needed a little perspective on this. Now that I've got everyone all bummed out..."

Edward smiled at her. "Not at all, Leah. It's all good."

Bella stood to check out the water level. "What time is the tide high today?"

"It should be high just after supper. If you two want to go swimming beforehand, you can find deeper water around the point." Jacob said.

"Which point? We're nestled between two." Edward replied, confused.

"Oh, sorry, around what we call Coates Point, the one to our right. There are tidal pools, sandbars, and just beyond them the water is deep enough for swimming."

"That sounds fun! Will you be joining us?" Bella asked, visibly excited.

"Aw, Bella, it's your honeymoon. You don't want us tagging along."

"But I do! Edward? You don't mind, do you?"

"Not at all. You guys can show us all the good spots."

Leah grabbed Jacob's hand. "Let's go get our suits on."

Jacob looked back and mouthed _Thank you_ to them.

* * *

Bella cursed Alice again when she went digging for a bathing suit. "Sister Mine is going to get an earful when I talk to her next."

"Why's that?"

Bella walked down to the living room in a tiny blue bikini. Edward's eyes popped. "Remind me to thank her when I talk to her next."

Scowling, Bella held up a t-shirt. "How am I supposed to get a tan in a t-shirt? Why couldn't she have packed my one-piece?"

'What's wrong with the bikini? You look incredible." Edward said as he slathered her with sunscreen.

Bella exhaled loudly. "I know Jake and Leah know about my scars but I don't need to force it on them. I don't want them to feel uncomfortable, be distracted by them. It's not fair of me to do that."

Edward dug around in a drawer and pulled out a pair of scissors. "Let me see if I can make this better. Do you mind if I cut your shirt a little?"

"No, go ahead, but just so you know, we're going shopping the first time we're in town."

"Did you really just say that you wanted to go shopping?"

"Yes, desperate times call for desperate measures. Now start cutting, would you? Channel your inner Project Runway designer and _make it work_."

Edward laughed at her Tim Gunn impersonation and went to work cutting and tying things until Bella was happier. The sleeves were reduced to thin straps, and the length of the shirt was cut so just a few of her minor scars were visible.

"I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be bothered by them, love. I think you vastly underestimate people."

"Do you blame me?"

"No, but maybe you should give them the benefit of the doubt. Oh, there they are. Should I grab the camera?"

"Yes, for sure. Then we can send pics to the gang tonight."

Edward packed a small bag with towels, sunscreen, water, and the camera.

"Ready to go?" Leah said as she took Bella's hand.

"Yup!"

The two girls skipped ahead of the guys, hand-in-hand. Edward chuckled as he pulled out the camera.

"That's too cute; they look like little girls."

"You seriously have no fucking clue just how happy you two being here has made her. I haven't seen her like this in a while. I'll try to keep her out of your hair as much as possible, but she's pretty headstrong."

"No worries, Jake. Our honeymoon was supposed to be an escape, a chance to be together, and have fun. Well, we've escaped, we're together and we're having fun, so I think all objectives have been met."

"Thanks. You're alright, Edward. We should hurry up and catch them before Leah drags your wife to Prince Edward Island."

They walked along the beach, around the point and found the girls wading in a shallow pool squealing at something.

"Edward! The crabs have houses! Come see!"

"Hermit crabs," Jake said. "The place is overrun with them."

Sure enough, the bottom of the clear, saltwater tidal pool was teeming with hundreds of tiny, scampering, skittering, hermit crabs. It was funny to watch. Normally a snail shell would be moving at a, well, snail's pace. These ones were racing around. Edward reached down to pick one up. Bella moved closer so she could see it up close.

"Aw, it's so cute. Can I hold it?"

Edward deposited it into the palm of her cupped hand. He snapped a couple of photos of her with it.

They moved further out toward the sandbars. From where they were standing it looked like the water went on forever.

"If I would have thought to bring the binoculars, I could have shown you Prince Edward Island. It's hard to see, but sometimes, on a really clear day you can just make it out in the distance." Jake said, pointing out to sea.

"So that land across the water to our left, what's that?" Edward asked.

"New Brunswick, specifically, the village of Port Elgin."

"Cool."

Bella pointed at a group of seagulls that were diving down, picking something up, and dropping it on the rocks. "What're they doing? They're not going to drop bombs on us, are they?"

Leah laughed. "They might drop a shit bomb on you if you're not careful, but they're smashing shells on the rocks to get at the meat."

"Smart," she said as she took another step. "Oh! Edward, bring the camera!"

"What is it, love?"

"A starfish."

Edward walked over to her and looked. Sure enough, Bella had found a purple starfish. Edward took a couple of pictures, one of which was of Bella with the starfish perched on the bridge of her nose.

Leah approached and offered to take some photos of them together. They started out innocent enough, but ended up with them in a heavy make-out session.

"Stop snapping pictures of them, honey. Give them some privacy."

Bella blushed, breaking the kiss. "Sorry about that. We get carried away sometimes."

Leah giggled. "It's cute. Come on, let's go for a swim."

"Wait, let us take some pictures of you first!" Bella said, taking the camera from her.

They took several shots of their new friends before putting the camera and their bag up on some rocks. Edward held her hand as they waded out to deeper water. It was warmer than she thought it would be. When they were waist deep, he grabbed her and pulled her to him, kissing her until she started to see stars.

"Love you," he said breathlessly against her lips.

"Love you more," she replied before ducking under the water.

Edward wasn't long in joining her. They floated in the water, holding hands for a while.

"Guys, Jake and I are going to the next sandbar. Want to join us?"

"We'll be there in a few minutes," Edward called out before whispering huskily, "I want a minute with my wife."

He pulled Bella over to him and inshore until they were able to kneel. His hands roamed over her breasts and under her makeshift cover-up.

Bella wasn't expecting Edward to get all grabby hands on her with their new friends nearby. She reached down and stroked him through his swim trunks.

His hands slid down and into her bikini bottom. She let out a moan probably loud enough for Jacob and Leah to hear. Edward sealed her mouth with his own to stifle the sound.

Bella moved her hand inside his shorts, pumping him harder and faster. They didn't have much time and she really wanted to get him off. His fingers moving inside her were making it hard for her to concentrate though. He thrust into her with a steady, fast, rhythm and it wasn't long before she felt herself coming apart. She ducked her head underwater and let out a scream.

Edward was panting, grunting, and uttering curses as he finally found his release. He fell back into the water and smiled.

"That was interesting," he said.

"Not as interesting as that," Bella said, pointing over to Jake and Leah, who were getting it on pretty hot and heavy on the next sandbar.

"I think we're contagious," Edward said, laughing.

* * *

**_So, I hope I haven't bored you to tears with the first almost 24 hours of their honeymoon. There's still lots of time left, and lots of things for them to do...both lemony and not. :)_**

**_Thanks to everyone for the kind words about my friend. I'll hopefully have another chapter up sometime on Sunday or Monday. Hang tight, please._**

**_***I just added a link to a special photobucket account with pics from the cottage to my profile page. I hope you like them!***  
_**


	17. Ch 17 Nightswimming

_**Thanks for sticking around. I've got to tell you, though, it's been hard keeping up with this. I might have to slow down my updates a little before I totally burn myself out.**_

_**Congrats to **_**Entropic Kitten_ who is celebrating the arrival of her own Peanut. Yay for babies!_**

_**Stephenie Meyer still owns everything. **_

_When we last left them, Edward and Bella had just enjoyed a brief little encounter in the water. We pick up just minutes after the last chapter ended._

_**

* * *

**  
_

When the tide was threatening to block off their return, they packed up and walked back to the cottage where Bella and Edward made a late lunch for everyone. They made plans to all go for a swim that evening.

Bella was jet-lagged and tired, so she and Edward excused themselves to go take a nap. As it turned out, their good nap intentions were railroaded by other bedroom activities. By the time Edward peeled her off the ceiling, they were more than ready to sleep.

Edward barbecued steak for dinner and they ate out on the deck, al fresco, to enjoy another cloudless night. Without any wind, the setting sun reflected on the glassy water, illuminating everything.

At seven o'clock, Jake and Leah came over dressed in their bathing suits, ready to go for a swim. The two couples waded out into the water; their slow movement was the only thing breaking the mirror-like illusion on the water's surface.

Bravely, Bella took a deep breath and dove under, swimming toward the horizon until her lungs began to burn. The warm water felt good on her skin until she stood up. Although the night was warm, the air was colder than the water. She felt goosebumps forming on her arms, and her nipples hardened to protruding pebbles. She sighed, remembering how a boy in junior high had once told her that her nipples were big enough when they were hard to hang a leather jacket on them.

Strong arms wrapped around her, pulling her back. Edward rested his chin on her head. "This is nice."

"Mm, it is." She reached her hand up and back to stroke his cheek. Edward ran his hand down the inside of her extended arm, inciting a serious case of the giggles from Bella. "That was so Dirty Dancing of you."

He peppered her shoulder with kisses. "It could be dirtier."

"Edward!" she said, slapping his arm. "It's bad enough we did what we did this afternoon in front of Jake and Leah. When did we become one of those couples who gets off on public sex?"

"I think it was on the flight to Forks."

She pulled away from him and launched herself across the water on her back. She stared up at the sky and smiled. She felt someone grab her hand; it was Edward, who was floating along beside her.

"Whatcha thinking?" he asked.

"I'm thinking that it should be a crime to be this happy."

"Well, lock me up, because I'm guilty too."

She splashed water at him. "Well, hello, Sapward. Way to cheese up my bliss."

"What did I do?"

"You injected Camembert into what was a perfectly lovely moment. "

He groaned. "I'm so sorry that you find my sincerity to be so stinky."

"I still love you. You're lucky that I happen to love cheese."

"So, does this make me Cheeseward?"

"No," she laughed, "that would be too predictable."

They floated in silence for a while, just soaking in the peace. In a few short months, moments like this would be impossible. Having a baby was going to change everything.

"Edward?"

"Yes, love?"

Bella stood up beside Edward, looking down at him. _So beautiful._ His green eyes opened and drank her in.

"Are you scared at all?"

He stood, then, and wrapped his arms around her. She was shivering.

"Are you cold?"

"No. Yes. Can we go back to the cottage?"

"Of course. What's wrong?"

"Let's wait until we get back."

"Hey, Jake and Leah? We're heading up; Bella's cold."

"Cool. Have a good night, guys!" Jake called back.

Edward piggybacked Bella to the beach where he wrapped her in a big towel. They walked back up and into the master bath where Edward filled the Jacuzzi. Bella sat on the toilet seat lid and shook. She wasn't sure it was just the cold causing her to react that way.

As soon as they were in the tub, Bella started to cry. "What if everything changes, Edward? What if we change?"

"What's going on? What's going to change? Why would it change? Why are you crying?"

"Peanut is going to change everything: I'm getting fat, you're going to think I'm ugly; we rarely have alone time back home, the baby is going to kill that; you'll end up too tired for me, and possibly vice versa. I love US too much. I don't know if I'm ready to give this up.

Edward gasped. "Are you saying you don't want to have the baby?"

"No! I love Peanut. I'm just not sure I'm ready."

His voice seemed a little cooler when he spoke next. "Kind of late to be figuring that out, isn't it?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"I don't know, Bella. I'm just as scared as you are. Of course, things are going to change, but they don't have to stop. We can still have our moments. We can still exist. We'll just have to be more creative."

Bella cried harder.

"Sh, love, we'll get through this. We both love Peanut. We'll make it work. This baby is a blessing; not a burden."

"I never meant to insinuate that. God, I'm terrible."

She rubbed her belly lovingly. Edward placed his hands over hers.

"Peanut, Momma and Daddy love you. Don't ever doubt that. Momma's just feeling hormonal and scared."

Edward kissed her neck. "It'll be okay, Bella. I promise."

* * *

The sun was shining the next morning when Edward got up. He left Bella to sleep a while longer while he went downstairs to put on some water for coffee and tea. Curiosity got the best of him while he was waiting for the water to boil, which led him to the small shed behind the cottage. He had been thinking non-stop about setting up the hammock, and thought maybe he would try to get it set up.

Jacob came over and helped him out.

"I heard you rooting around. Thought you could use a hand."

"Thanks," Edward said, looking puzzled at the contraption before him. Jake laughed, and within minutes he had set it up.

"Leah and I are heading out for the day. I wanted to give you two some alone time so I'm taking her shopping."

"You're a brave man, Jacob Black."

"What're your plans for the day?"

"Well," Edward said slyly, "since you two are going to be gone..."

Jake held up his hands in mock surrender. "Say no more."

"No, I just thought she and I could laze around on the hammock or she could paint or whatever. You must think we're terrible people. I'm sorry for what happened yesterday out around the, uh, point."

"Man, I need to thank you for that! Leah's been all over me since you guys got here."

Edward laughed, clapping Jacob on the back. "So glad I can oblige."

"Can we get anything for your while we're out?"

"I think we're good. Thanks for your help."

"And thank you for yours."

Bella woke up to the smell of breakfast. Edward was placing a tray in front of her. "Good morning, sweetheart."

"Mm, morning. This is nice. What did I do to deserve this?"

"You make me happy. You're the mother of my child. You're hotter than hell, and you still love me even though you think I'm stinky. Not to mention you're a real firecracker in bed."

"You just been upgraded to Blue Cheese, but thanks. I love you too." Bella stretched before grabbing a piece of pineapple. "What's the plan for today?"

"Jake and Leah are gone until later tonight so it's just the two of us. I've got the hammock set up so I thought I might kick back with a book, soak in some rays, maybe go exploring."

"What am I doing during all of this?"

He cupped her face in his hands. "Anything your heart desires."

"I like the sound of that. How high is the water right now?"

"It just turned, it's still quite high. Why?"

"I'd like to go paint around the point."

"That sounds like a great idea. I'd say we've got a couple of hours to kill until then. I'm going to shower while you eat. Bon apetite."

Bella ate quickly, got undressed, then walked into the bathroom. Edward saw her and his eyes dropped to her torso. "Wow."

"What?" She looked down and shrieked. "What the hell? When did THAT happen?"

It seemed as if overnight her barely there bump had become a noticeable mound.

"We might need to go shopping sooner than later. Is this normal?"

"I'll call Dad when we're out of the shower. Come here and let me touch it."

"I'm fat!" she whined. "I swore that after I lost my teenage blubber and all that shit with James was over that I'd never be fat again, but here it is."

"Bella, be reasonable. That's not fat, that's a baby."

She sighed. My body knows that, but my brain doesn't always register it. Make me forget, Edward. Please?"

Edward gasped when her hand cupped his boys. Adam woke up with a twitch and rose to the occasion. She winked at him before leaning down to flick her tongue across the top. She grinned when he seized up and hissed a curse. Twisting her hand around his wet shaft, she pumped him until he was almost ready to explode. She could tell he was close because his testicles tightened up and the vein in his neck stuck out.

Standing on her tiptoes, she leaned in and nipped at the vein until she reached his ear. "Fuck. Me."

"Thank you." He turned her around so her hands were braced against the wall. He positioned himself so Adam was knocking at Pandora's entrance. He tested the waters once, twice, then barged his way inside. Pandora gripped and milked him until they both cried out.

Edward turned her around and kissed from the top of her head to her protruding belly. "If this is considered fat, then call me a chubby chaser, because you, Bella Cullen, are sexy as fuck."

* * *

"Hi Dad," Edward said when his father answered his phone.

"Edward! I'm so happy to hear form you. I hope everything is okay. When we didn't get an e-mail last night we narrowed it down to one of two things."

"Daaaaaad..." Edward groaned.

"You're on your honeymoon, son, and we are all quite aware that you and Bella have a very active..."

"Enough."

"How is Bella?"

"She's good. Actually, that's why I'm calling. Is it normal for a baby bump to seemingly double in size overnight?"

Carlisle paused, making Edward feel uneasy.

"Is she experiencing any pain or discharge?"

"No."

"Then she's probably fine. Each woman's womb grows at a different rate. Perhaps Peanut is responding to all that clean, sea air?"

"Are you sure?"

"I don't think there's any reason for concern."

"Okay. We just wanted a little reassurance. It freaked us out a little."

"Where is Bella?"

"She's painting down on the beach. I'm lazing around in a hammock. I might never want to leave this place. It's so quiet, relaxing."

"Edward, I was going to wait to tell you this when you got back, but your mother thought you should be prepared. HE called. He's looking for you."

"Fuck, me."

"Language, son." Carlisle joked.

"Sorry," Edward said, absently. He looked out at the beach and sighed. "What's he want?"

"He wants to talk to you."

"What if I don't want to talk to him?"

"That's your choice. We didn't tell him anything. He knows nothing so he won't be disturbing your honeymoon."

"That's what matters most right now." Edward sighed. "After all these years, why now?"

"Maybe he's seeking forgiveness? Maybe he wants to explain?"

"Maybe he should disappear again."

"I'm sorry, son. I should have waited until you got back."

"No," Edward said, raking his hands through his hair. "I'm glad you told me. At least I know what to expect when I get back. I'm going to go check on Bella. She's probably thirsty. Give my love to Mom. I love you, Dad."

"We love you both."

Edward hung up and resisted the urge to scream. _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck,_ he thought. He scrubbed his hands over his face, trying to clear the monster from his mind.

"What's wrong, Edward?"

_Fuck._ "Nothing. I just got off the phone with Dad. He says that we should only be worried about the bump if you are experiencing pain or discharge."

"Okay, phew. Now really, what's bothering you?"

Edward held his arms out to her. She carefully joined him on the hammock. She turned to face him, stroking his face gently.

"HE was looking for me."

"Oh, Edward, are you okay?"

Big sigh, three heartbeats, and the sound of a seagull in the distance. "I don't know."

She kissed his cheek. "What do you want?"

"I want him to go away. He's not part of my life. He gave that up the night he killed mom and hurt me."

"Baby, we'll get you through this. But not now. We're on our honeymoon and I don't want any more of our demons ruining it. Why don't you come down to the beach with me?"

He hitched a leg over her hip. "Why don't we stay here and cuddle for a while?"

"I think I can live with that."

Bella leaned in and placed butterfly kisses on his cheek, making him smile. He held her tightly to him and hummed to her as they swung lazily in the breeze.

* * *

After a nap in the hammock and a light lunch, Bella and Edward packed up her supplies and walked around the point. Bella set herself up near the rocky banks while Edward pawed around in the tidal pools, racing hermit crabs, scaring tickle fish and teasing razor clams. His favourite thing to do was to find snails crawling around, pick them up and tickle their undersides until they curled up and suckled the tip of his finger, leaving a slimy memento behind.

He walked out toward the sandbars, stopping along the way to pick up larger crabs who had been struggling against the current under the water. They snapped their pincers at him angrily, making him laugh. _I'm such a sick bastard._

When he reached the first sandbar, he knelt down and started digging. He wasn't sure what he was going to make, but figured the sand would let him know what it wanted to be. Bella told him that's how making art sometimes worked.

Turns out it wanted to be a big pile of crap. No matter what he did to it, it just never looked like anything. He gave up and decided to leave the art to Bella. Since he'd built up such a formidable pile of wet sand/mud, he decided all was not lost. He walked to furthest end, to the water's edge, turned around, and sprinted toward the pile at full speed. He let out a whoop before landing feet first in the huge pile.

Now, waist-deep in mud, he threw his head back and laughed. _This is living,_ he thought.

Bella had been watching her husband off and on from behind the canvas she was working on. She couldn't help but smile as she watched him playing in the tidal pools. He looked like a very tall, impossibly beautiful, kid.

Turning her attention back to her painting, she got lost in the landscape again until she heard Edward let out a whoop. She watched in amazement as he sprinted across the sandbar and launched himself into the huge pile of sand he'd amassed. He ended up waist deep and visibly stuck. His laughter floated across the beach, echoed off the rocks.

Instead of calling for help, he went about burying himself further in the mess, meticulously smoothing down the sand. He looked like a birthday cake Bella's mother had made for her when she was little. Renee, in a rare moment of culinary creativity, had attempted to make a Barbie cake for Bella, just like her mother had made for her. The concept was simple: It was a round cake with a naked Barbie doll planted in the middle, so that the edible part, once decorated with gaudy frosting, was supposed to be her skirt. They really were horrendous looking cakes. Renee had forgotten to decorate Barbie's exposed torso, so her hard, plastic naked boobs were the focus of attention.

Totally enraptured in his project, Edward didn't notice that Bella was creeping down to the beach with the camera. She snapped several photos of him before he spied her.

"Edward?"

"Yes, love?" he answered, very nonchalantly.

"What're you doing?"

"Playing. Why?"

"Just wondering."

He went back to what he was doing, paying no attention to her.

"Are you having fun?"

"Yes, Bella. Are you?"

"Oh hells, yes. This is priceless. Emmett's going to lose his shit when he sees this."

"Why? Haven't you ever wanted to bury yourself in the sand?"

"I've never really thought about it."

"Oh. Well, it just seemed like the thing to do. Do you want to help?"

"Sure, what can I do?"

"Want to decorate me? There's some shells over there, some seaweed by that rock."

Bella snorted. "You're looking more and more like a tacky Barbie cake by the minute."

He looked down. "I suppose you're right. I do look kind of weird, don't I?"

"Yeah, kind of. Want help getting out?"

"Nah, but I would like a kiss."

She crawled up on his mud mound and kissed him.

"Thank you."

"Oh, I'm not done," Bella said as she looked around to see if anyone was nearby. Once satisfied they were alone, she took his hands in hers and placed them on her breasts.

"You're dirty, Bella."

"I'm not the one buried in mud, honey. You're kind of trapped," she winked at him. "You are at my mercy."

"This is getting mildly uncomfortable."

Smiling evilly, Bella stood up and walked away.

"What? You're leaving me here?"

"Yup."

"Why?"

"Because I'm dirty, and I can. I want to go work on my piece a little longer." She waved to him as she walked away. "Just yell if you need me."

"Bellaaaaaaa!" he yelled.

"What?"

"Help?"

"Okay, fine." She turned around and made her way back.

After dinner, Bella and Edward climbed into the hammock to watch the sun set.

"I wish I could bottle this up and take it home with me," Bella said.

"Mm," Edward hummed, kissing the top of her head. "Me, too. I could use a bottle of happy sunsets at the ER some nights."

"Do you think Dr. Black would let us come back?"

"Maybe. Perhaps we can ask to come back for our anniversary and bring Peanut."

"That'd be nice."

They swayed in silence as they watched the sun heave a final breath before diving into the horizon.

"Wow," Edward said quietly.

"Yeah."

"Feel like taking a swim?"

"Sure. Just let me go change."

"I thought maybe we could..."

"Could what, Edward?"

"I thought maybe we could go skinny dipping."

"What if Jake and Leah come home?"

"We'll tell them that we're naked and to please avert their gazes."

Bella laughed. "Okay, but at least let me grab some towels."

"You do that and I'll light a fire in the pit on the bank so we can warm up when we get out. Don't be long."

Edward gently tipped them out of the hammock and onto their feet. Bella went inside while Edward grabbed the barbecue lighter and set about lighting a fire.

As soon as Bella returned, they giggled and walked down to the beach.

"We should have brought a flashlight," Edward said.

"Got one!" Bella said, pulling one out of her pocket.

"I married a genius." Edward turned it on and used the small beam the light their way down the stairs and onto the beach. "Let's get naked!"

Bella shivered. "I don't know, Edward."

"Please? Let's try?"

Sighing, she pulled down her yoga pants and hung them on the railing. Edward's pants and boxers soon joined them.

She dipped her toes in the water. "Brr."

Edward took off his hoodie, standing in the moonlight like an earthbound Greek god. Bella felt a rush of heat between her legs and without further hesitation, ripped off her hoodie, grabbed his hand, and led him toward the water.

"Why the change of heart?" he teased.

"You're too hot and I'm too horny. I can put up with the cold water if you'll keep me warm."

"Oh, I'm sure I can do that."

Bella and Edward both stopped just before the water reached Adam and Pandora.

"Ready?" he asked, shuddering. "My boys are, uh, beginning to protest."

"Let's do it. One..."

"Two..."

"Three!"

They both ducked under the water and let out a shriek. Edward pulled Bella to him and hissed as their bare flesh touched in the water. Bella wrapped her arms around his neck and locked her legs around his hips before kissing him.

She sucked on his bottom lip before opening up to receive his probing tongue. She found heaven in his taste and sighed contentedly as they explored with tongues and lips.

His hands moved slowly down to her breasts which were highlighted by the moon and glowing just below the surface of the water. He marveled at how they had already begun to grow and how in a few short months they would feed their child. He rolled her nipples between his thumbs and index fingers slowly, gently at first, then surprised her by pinching them roughly.

"Fuck!" Bella gasped, pulling her mouth away from his.

"Did I hurt you?"

"No, I think I just came." She rested her cheek on his chest and panted.

"You think?"

"Well, something happened and it was good."

Edward held her still for a moment before she let go and allowed her upper body to float on the surface. The sight of her splayed out before him in the weak light brought Adam to new heights. Her milky breasts were sticking out of the water, her swollen belly also dipping in and out in the slight waves. Her arms waved back and forth, keeping her afloat and she smiled dreamily at him. Her hot centre pushed against his pelvis, just centimetres above Adam, who desperately wanted to find warmth in Pandora's hallowed halls.

"I'm going to stand up for a minute. Try to stay afloat."

Edward slowly stood so he could adjust their position. Quickly, so as not to drown his wife, he pulled them up so both Adam and Pandora were out of the water then thrust himself inside her.

Bella gasped as Edward impaled her. She lost her concentration, forgot to tread water, and went under. Edward pulled her up as fast as he could, and continued to thrust into her. He was crouched in the water, using it as leverage, while he tried to keep her floating on the surface.

He watched as her breasts bounced in the water. Her eyes were closed and her breathing increased. He could feel her milking him as he pushed harder and faster into her.

She felt her orgasm building and wanted to be closer to him when it hit her, so she tried to pull herself up his arms. She glued herself to his cool, wet, torso as she came.

Edward knew what as coming so he kissed her to quell the noises she was no doubt about to make. When the exchange of lustful oaths and curses from her mouth to his brought him to his peak, he pulled his head back and cried out as he spilled inside her.

"Holy shit," he panted.

Bella wrapped herself around him. "I like water. Water sex is good."

"It certainly is. Are you cold?"

"I don't have a clue."

"You're shivering. You must be cold."

"No, you caused those shivers."

"Regardless, let's head up. I'm cold."

Edward got out first to grab a towel to take out to Bella, who finally admitted she was cold. He made her stay under until he got back to her. She stood, he wrapped her up and threw her over his shoulder.

He pulled a chair over to the fire pit and sat down to warm up. They kissed and whispered to each other like horny teenagers until Bella fell asleep.

* * *

_**Two lemons for the price of one. **_

_**Patience is a virtue, my wonderful friends. Please remember that.**_

_**Reviews make me happy. Hell, you all make me happy. :)  
**_


	18. Ch 18 Road Trip

_**I'm really sorry for the delay, folks. I wasn't happy with this chapter and rewrote a big chunk of it. I'm still not sure how I feel about the beginning. I hope I'm not letting anyone down with this. It's been a hard few days trying to balance work, writing, keeping the cat occupied, dealing with a friend desktop computer and life. I adore you all so much that I don't want to put out something craptacular...hopefully this is okay. I apologize wholeheartedly if you hate it.**_

_**Stephenie Meyer still owns the kingdom, but I have the key to the castle.

* * *

  
**_

"Road trip!" Edward said when Bella emerged from the shower. It was now day four of their honeymoon and Edward was suffering from cabin fever.

"Where are we going?"

"Let's head over to that waterfowl park in Sackville. I'd like to do some sightseeing, take some photos and whatnot."

"That sounds nice. When are we going?"

"Want to head over after breakfast? Make a day of it? I was reading that there are a couple of galleries in town too; thought maybe you'd want to check them out."

Bella gave him a kiss on the cheek before dropping her towel and walking to the dresser. Edward slapped her bare bottom.

"Hey!" she yelled, rubbing her cheek.

"That was for teasing me. As much as I've loved every lusty moment we've shared since our arrival, it would be a shame to travel all this way and not check out the area."

"I suppose you're right."

"I'll toast some bagels and we can eat on the road. Chop, chop, Bella."

* * *

Bella observed the landscape around her as they drove out to the main road. She didn't realize the lane had been so long. Her knowledge of the area only included the cottage and the beach, as she'd been fast asleep when they'd arrived. It was a nice area, acres of trees, very green, and very unlike Forks; the green here wasn't wet.

They made a quick stop at a winery they spotted along the way to pick up some local wine and liqueurs to take back to the gang and Dr. Black. Blueberry and strawberry wine called to them from the racks. They tasted a few different ones before picking out their favourites. Bella was excited to find some exotic sounding liqueurs to experiment with in her cooking.

She marvelled at the vast expanse of marshland as they neared Sackville. "Edward, can you please pull over?"

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, I'd just like to take a few shots of the view. It's incredible."

"Sure." Edward slowed the SUV down and pulled onto the soft shoulder. Bella got out, grabbed her camera, and started shooting panoramic shots. They were on a ridge overlooking a incredibly large, flat area dotted with barns, bales of hay, dark green pastures, brown pastures, cattle, dirt roads and a series of radio towers.

While Bella was occupied taking pictures, Edward went down into the ditch and poked around. When he emerged, he proudly presented her with a bouquet of wildflowers.

"Aw, thanks, baby, they're beautiful!"

"Not as beautiful as you are. Here, hand me the camera."

She passed it over to him and he positioned her, flowers in hand, by the ditch with the verdant marsh as a backdrop. Her hair blew in the breeze, as she smelled the flowers.

"So, did you want to take the road in through town or take the highway down to the park?"

"Let's go through town. I'd like to see it."

They took the first exit and followed TomTom's instructions into town. It was a cute spot, very green, well kept. The downtown seemed to consist of one main thoroughfare, with one set of traffic lights. There were several small stores lining the main street, and a sidewalk cafe bustling with people.

As they searched for the entrance to the park, they came across a lush pond filled with ducks and swans.

"Oh, Edward, can we please stop here?"

"Sure," he replied, as he looked for a parking spot.

They got out of the SUV and walked toward the pond.

"It's so green and not the least bit mossy," she said, laughing. "So, where are we, exactly?"

Edward flipped through a guidebook. "Seems we've found the campus of Mount Allison University."

He reached for her hand as they walked toward the water. A few ducks swam toward them. Bella pulled out the camera and started shooting. The ducks weren't shy by any means, and she managed to get some fantastic close-up shots.

The swans began to swim toward them, scattering the ducks.

"Wow, they're beautiful," she gushed as she began snapping pictures.

"Uh, Bella, be careful, they look like they're up to no good. You can't trust a bird that wears a mask."

"Oh, come on, Edward, they're swans and I was a Swan and you love me. Why can't you love these ones? They don't look evil to me at all." When Bella turned around to say something else, the closest swan snapped its beak on her butt. She jumped into Edward's arms.

"Jesus Christ, that swan just goosed me!"

Edward laughed so hard that there were tears streaming down his face. Bella stood back, arms crossed, scowling at him. "How dare you laugh? The mother of your unborn child was just mauled by an evil swan."

He wrapped his arms around her. "I suppose I should be a little angry that it touched your ass, because it belongs to me, now."

To emphasize his point, he grabbed her butt and pulled her closer to him.

"I like it much better when you do it, Edward," she teased.

They sat on a bench, far away from the swans, with a tourist map between them, planning their day.

"I'm a little hungry; do you think we could walk back to the coffee shop and get a bite to eat?" Bella asked.

"Sounds good to me. It's early yet, we've got lots of time."

They made their way to the coffee shop, grabbed something to eat and drink, and sat outside to enjoy the beautiful day and soak in sights and sounds of Sackville. The couple sitting at the next table spoke to them for a while, gave them some sightseeing tips, and told them about a covered bridge out on the marsh, giving them directions to get there.

As they walked back toward the SUV, they found an entrance to the waterfowl park and decided to start there. They followed a path through some tall grass and cattails until it opened up onto a boardwalk over the water. It wasn't long before they found a group of ducks, which prompted Bella to speed up and walk toward them. She crouched down and took some pictures of the mallards swimming by.

Edward stood beside her, chuckling, as she oohed and aahed over them. When she stood up, he laced his fingers in hers and they walked further along the boardwalk.

It really was a wonderful spot. Living amongst the various plants and flowers, there were several types of ducks swimming along, bobbing for duckweed, splashing around, quacking obnoxiously. A light breeze rustled the grass, small fish blew bubbles in the water, songbirds sang in the trees. Edward closed his eyes and soaked it all in. He took deep, cleansing breaths and let all the bullshit he'd been worrying about slide off of him, like water off a duck's back.

"Edward?" Bella asked quietly.

"Mm?"

"Is everything okay?"

He looked down and smiled at her. "Couldn't be better,"he paused,"wait, come here, I just thought of how it could get even better."

He tugged her toward him and kissed her. They sighed into each other, hands fisting in hair, bodies pulling closer together.

Bella broke the kiss first. "Whew, give a girl a heads up next time, would ya? I would have taken a deeper breath before diving in."

Edward laughed as he ran his fingers gently down her cheeks. She leaned into his touch and looked up at him.

"I'm going to borrow some blue cheese and say that as hard as it is to believe it, I love you more every day. I'm so fucking in love with you, Edward, that it feels like I could explode. Have you ever loved someone that much?"

Holding her closer, he tried to quell the tears building up in his eyes. "I do, Bella," he said huskily. "I do, because I feel that way about you."

"Well, aren't we a couple of cheesy saps. Come here, let me take a picture."

She held the camera out at arm's length and took a few self-portraits before they moved further along. Suddenly she lurched forward and squealed. "Ooh, Edward! Duck bums!"

He looked to see where she was going and he spotted a group of ducks foraging underwater for food, their behinds stuck up in the air. Bella was giggling as she captured the moment.

"Emmett is going to love these!"

There was so much to see. Buried behind the marsh grasses were muskrat dens. Every now and then a plop could be heard and if they were quick enough, they were able to spot the brown furry backs before they submerged.

They found a bench nestled in a treed area and sat down to have a drink. Bella laid down and rested her head in his lap. She sighed heavily.

"What's up love?"

"Just thinking."

"About what?" He played with her hair, absently twirling it around his finger.

"About how incredible my life has been. All of it."

"Even..." he trailed off.

"Yes, ALL of it. It's been a truly incredible journey. Never in a million years did I ever think that I would have the life that I do." She pulled up her shirt, exposing her scars. She slowly traced them with her fingers. "Never once when _this_ was happening did I think I'd meet the man who'd save me, sweep me off my feet, knock me up, marry me, and love me as flawed as I am."

Edward put his hand over hers and traced the scars with her. Each one represented something horrific, yet each one signified hope.

"Bella, I never had a clue that the sick, abused, scared girl who came to live with us would so irrevocably change my life; would become my life, would help me create life."

"I lived such a sheltered existence before everything happened. There was this whole big, wonderful world out here full of ducks, smart-ass swans, manic depressive beavers, cathedrals, poutine, Technicolor sunsets, and I had no idea. There's so much I want to see, to do."

He smiled down at her. "We'll do it all, love; you, Peanut, and me. It might take a while because of school, but we'll see it all."

"Thanks, Edward."

"Thank you, Bella. Now, shall we head up to the observation tower and lord over our watery domain?"

"We shall."

After leaving the waterfowl park, and taking a quick run through one of the downtown galleries, they followed the directions given to them to find the covered bridge. They stopped at a gas station to get drinks and a snack, and continued onward.

It wasn't hard to find and it gave them a chance to see more of the town. They passed a lake full of bathers on one side, people fishing off the bridge on the other; a big church, a cemetery, and finally found the road that would lead them out onto the flatland. The pavement ended and turned into a dusty dirt road. Edward was thankful they had the SUV.

The covered bridge wasn't too far down the road. They crossed it and parked on the other side. Bella got out of the vehicle, walked toward the bridge and stopped. She put her head back, held her hands out, and twirled, a huge smile on her face.

"What are you doing?"

"Can't you feel it? Hear it?"

He closed his eyes and listened. He could hear the wind blowing through the old wooden bridge, moaning like a platoon of ghosts. It was haunting. The breeze blew against him, making him shudder, his hair standing on end.

"Wow."

"I know. This place is amazing. Peanut has been fluttering non-stop since we got here. There's a lot of life, death, and history, here."

She walked into the bridge and listened to the mournful windsong. Edward found the camera and took some photos of the bridge wishing he could capture the way he was feeling at that moment. This truly was a special place.

When Bella emerged from the bridge, they walked down the road, taking random pictures along the way. Bella expressed interest in going to one of the old barns, so they went back to the SUV and drove out to the nearest one. It was in bad shape, but it was still standing. The old, weather-greyed wood creaked in the breeze, and Edward was sure he could hear mice and rats scuttling around in the old hay. He didn't want Bella getting too close in case she stepped on a rusty nail, or the barn decided to finally give in to time and gravity.

They decided to leave, after playing on the hay bales, and exploring the barn. Upon consulting TomTom, they realized that they could continue to follow the dirt road and come out on the highway. They would have to backtrack a little bit to get to their next destination in Amherst, but Bella didn't care, she was so thoroughly enthralled with the marsh that she didn't mind spending more time there.

They stopped a few times to take pictures or to let various creatures cross the road. They saw several pheasants, a couple of raccoons, a cat, a fox, and Bella swore that she saw a deer munching on grass at the side of the road.

Once they arrived back in Nova Scotia, they went to Amherst to the mall so Bella could buy some clothes, including a one-piece bathing suit, and some new pants to accommodate her increasing baby bump. Edward begrudgingly paid for the new bathing suit, as he was quite fond of the skimpy ones.

They made a quick stop at the grocery store for a few staple items; Tim Horton's for some more of those wonderful Timbits, which Edward had grown so fond of; then to the Dairy Queen for Blizzards. Far from being a healthy supper, it was starting to get late and neither one of them was particularly interested in making a big deal of it.

Bella fell asleep quickly and slept until they pulled into the driveway.

"What the..." Edward got out of the SUV, taking in the sight in front of him.

There was a path made of solar lights leading to a screened-in tent. The ceiling was strung with small, white lights; there were candles lit on a small table set up beside the hammock, which was overflowing with blankets and pillows.

Bella got out of the car and yawned. "What's going on?"

"I don't know," Edward said as he walked to the tent. He found a note attached to the zipper.

_Hi Bella and Edward,_

_Leah and I thought you might enjoy a night under the stars. The tent should keep away the mosquitoes and black flies._

_Enjoy,_

_Leah and Jake_

"That's so sweet!" Bella said, after reading the note.

"Well, we should probably put away the groceries and change into our pjs, don't you think?"

"Yes! Oh, this is going to be so much fun! Let's hurry!"

Off they ran to the cottage where they quickly put away the perishables, changed into sweats and hoodies, grabbed Bella's iPod and speakers, and made a final bathroom run. Edward carried Bella bridal-style into the tent and put her down on the hammock. He noticed there was a tray of fruit and dip, as well as a bottle of non-alcoholic sparkling cider sitting in a bucket of ice.

They had really gone the extra mile to make this a special night. Edward would have to come up with something special to thank them for this.

Edward set up the iPod, scrolled until he found their 'romantic mix', uncorked the cider, and poured them each a glass. They linked arms as he proposed a toast to eternal, explosive love.

Grabbing the tray of fruit and dip, Edward slid into the hammock beside his wife. They lay facing each other, giving Eskimo kisses for a while, whispering sweet nothings to each other. He grabbed a strawberry, dipped it into the yogurt and fed it to her. She teased him mercilessly. She stuck out her tongue, licking the yogurt from the tip before slowly taking it into her mouth. Staring seductively at him while she sucked it clean, she then bit down on it, humming quietly as she chewed. She smiled when she noticed the effect it was having on him pressing against her stomach.

"My turn," she growled. She selected a piece of pineapple, dipped it into the yogurt, and slowly raised it to his mouth. His plump lips opened slightly in anticipation of the fruit. Bella rubbed it slowly along his lips. His tongue snaked out to lick it off, but she stopped him. "No, that's my mess to clean up."

Licking her own lips first, she slowly moved closer to him, running her tongue through the tart dip, then kissing him. She begged for entry, and he didn't deny her.

The taste of the fruit, the dip, and Bella's natural essence made his head spin. He kissed her hard, trying to bring them impossibly close to one another—he needed her so much, and not just that way. She was the air he needed to breathe, the water that kept him alive, the food for his starving soul. Before he could stop himself, he started to cry.

"Baby, what's wrong?"

"Too much."

"Too much? What do you mean? I'm hardly touching you."

"I love you too much," he said, sniffling. "I think your pregnancy hormones are contagious; I'm big time Sapward, and I'm afraid I just ruined the moment. I'm so sorry. I just look at you, touch you, taste you, and sometimes it's overwhelming, it's too much. I'm scared that I'm going to wake up someday and it'll all have been some wonderful dream."

"Honey," she said, cupping his face, "six, almost seven years of dreaming is a long time to be asleep. I can safely say that this is not a dream. You are not Rip Van Winkle, and I am never going to leave you."

She brushed some hair out of his red, wet, eyes. "Baby, please stop crying. You're breaking my heart. I love you; never doubt that. Now give me a kiss."

He hiccupped twice, held her face in his hands, and kissed her sweetly. "I don't deserve you."

"Oh, but you do, Edward. You deserve whatever makes you happy. Do I make you happy?"

"Always."

She rested her forehead on his and smiled. "Then we have nothing to worry about."

Edward reached for a piece of pineapple and fed it to her.

"Let's save the rest of the pineapple for you," Bella said. "I read somewhere that it makes a man's cum taste sweeter—not that I dislike the taste of yours, I'm just curious."

"But pineapple is your favourite."

"I like swallowing more."

"My, my, Mrs. Cullen, you are a little minx, aren't you?" he replied as he accepted another chunk of sweet pineapple.

They continued to seductively feed each other until they reached the final grape. Edward took it, rolled Bella onto her back, lifted her shirt and placed it in her navel. She giggled and it popped out. He put it back, she giggled again.

"Bella, love, could you please stop giggling?"

"I keep thinking about that movie, the one where the guy puts the grape in the girl's bellybutton, slaps her belly and she catches it in her mouth. I can't remember what movie it was, though, stupid pregnant brain."

Edward put the grape back, licked around her navel, and blew on it, causing her to shudder.

"It was Hot Shots, love, and it was an olive, not a grape," he said before he began sucking and nibbling on her abdomen.

"Mm," she hummed, running her fingers through his hair. "I'll have to remember that for...oh god...next time."

Bella's breathing picked up as he slowly made his way up to her breasts. He lifted her sweater and licked the sensitive undersides, making her moan. He worked his way around the circumference of each one, deliberately avoiding her tight, enlarged, and highly sensitive nipples. He watched as they puckered even tighter.

Finally, he flicked his hot, wet tongue over the left one and immediately blew on it. Bella sucked in a deep breath, her hips bucked toward him, and she pulled his hair.

"Bella," he growled before repeating the same wicked procedure on her right nipple.

"Jesus, Jesus, Jesus," she repeated through clenched teeth.

"No, love, it's Edward, Edward, Edward."

He pressed his face into her neck and grazed her skin with his teeth. Her hand shot down to his waistband, where he stopped her. "Uh-uh, love, not yet."

"Please?"

"Nope, I'm not finished." He reached over, dipped a finger into the remaining yogurt, and trailed it over her nipples. Again, her hips bucked involuntarily toward him. He used one hand to hold her still while he cleaned her up, one painfully slow lick at a time. He spent extra time suckling her nipples, making her cry out.

He moved the hand holding her hip down to the outside of her heated gym pants. He rubbed her through the thick cotton and he could still feel her wetness.

"So wet," he murmured as he moved down. He finally took the grape from her navel with his teeth, crawled back up, and kissed her, passing the grape to her. She bit down on it, squirting juice into both of their mouths.

It was too much. Edward roughly removed her pants, pulled his down far enough to spring Adam, and pulling her over onto her side, he penetrated her from behind.

Bella cried out as he filled her. She reached back to pull him closer. He moved slowly at first, almost too slow for her liking. Bella flexed her Kegel muscles, massaging him from the inside and he jumped.

"Bellaaa," he groaned, reaching his hand down between her legs and stroking her to her first orgasm. She shuddered against him and panted heavily, cursing under her breath. She gave him another internal squeeze and he grunted, increasing his speed and depth of penetration. He soon found his own release, just as he brought her to her second.

He covered them up as they came down from their post-coital high. He remained inside her, not wanting to break the connection.

Bella took his hand and kissed it. "Thank you."

"No, love, thank you."

They lay entwined, talking quietly, until Bella squealed. "What was that?"

"What was what?"

"I saw a flash of light. Do you think someone was watching us?"

Edward laughed. "That was a firefly."

"Really?"

"Yup."

"Cool," she said. She was quiet for about ten seconds before announcing that she'd spotted another one, and another, and another. "They're everywhere! This is like being in the sky. I feel like a star."

He nuzzled her neck and hugged her. "You are a star in my universe. You're my sun."

"Hellooo, Sapward," she said, laughing. She turned her head back to kiss him sweetly. "Thanks, baby."

* * *

_**I hope you're not too disappointed in this one. I started writing it when I went away for my friend's memorial/benefit, and I don't think I was in the right head space or something.  
**_

_**Thanks for all the love you guys give me and this story. We're almost at 400 reviews, which is stellar and so much more than I ever expected. **_

_**I am posting more pictures to go with this chapter on my livejournal in the Road Maps album. Please go check it out. **_**http://oleander72DOTlivejournalDOTcom/**


	19. Ch 19 Pressure Points

_**I am not really big on self-promotion, but I wanted to let you know that the Indie Twific Awards are taking nominations for their upcoming Summer awards and I thought that maybe someone might like my stories enough to nominate one or both of them for something. No pressure. I'll still write more chapters, I won't threaten to kill off your favourite characters, and I'll still love you. I just thought that maybe someone would want to nominate them. It would certainly make me smile.**_

_**If you decide you'd like to nominate this story or Branded or both, you can go to ****http://theindietwificawardsDOTcom/nominationsDOTaspx (replace the DOTS with real dots). Thanks.**_

**_So, Stephenie Meyer still owns the Twilight series but I own three copies of the first book._**

When we last left them, our favourite newlyweds had spent a romantic night in the hammock, doing naughty things with fruit and yogurt.

**_

* * *

_  
**

The sound of birds chirping woke Bella from a wonderful dream she was having. She stretched and banged Edward in the nose.

"What the..."

"Sorry, baby, didn't mean to wake you like that."

"Ugh, it's okay," he also stretched, inhaling deeply through his nose. "What time is it?"

"Early enough for the birds to be singing, but not late enough for it to be totally light outside."

Edward sat up and looked around. It was still quite dark outside. He reached for his hoodie, which had been flung aside, and pulled his pants on, before attempting to gracefully extricate himself from the hammock. Unfortunately they had dislodged one of the tethers, so the second he moved, the entire contraption flipped, spilling them both onto the damp ground.

He couldn't help but laugh at the sight of a naked Bella splayed on the ground.

"You find this funny, do you?" she said, scowling.

"Yes, very much so." He extended a hand to her, grabbed a blanket, and covered her up. He gave her a hug. "I'm really sticky for some reason."

She smiled evilly. "Hmm, I wonder why?"

He cupped her ass in his hands. "I have no idea."

They stood together like that for a few minutes, just soaking it all in, before Edward announced that he was going for a swim.

"But you'll freeze!"

"Nah, I've been in colder water than that. Do you want to come with?"

She shook her head. "No, but I'll go run a bath for when you get out and your nuts have crawled into your belly."

"That's my girl, always the optimist. Okay, I'll see you in a few. If I'm not back up in 20 minutes, send out the bat signal."

"Be safe," she said, kissing his nose.

"Always."

Edward stripped out of his clothes when he reached the beach. The air was cool causing his boys to protest already and they hadn't even hit the water. He took a couple of tentative steps into the dark water. The sky was starting to brighten in the east so he was finding it easier to see where he was going, well, until he hit a big rock. _Hmm, broken big toe? Not good._

Once he reached the point of no return and his balls were beginning to retract to warmer regions, he dove under. The water was warmer than the air; that was for sure. He exhaled loudly when he surfaced, trying to suppress the scream that had built up in his chest.

He dove back under and swam out to where it was deeper. Surfacing again, he flipped over onto his back and stared up at the sky to watch the last of the stars twinkling faintly. He could hear shorebirds dueling with the songbirds for musical dominance. It was a real cacophony and he was loving every minute of it.

_Floating in briny water and soaking this all in is the second best way to wake up_, he thought, _second only to waking up beside Bella._

Bella! She must be worrying.

He swam back slowly, paying attention to any evil rocks which might be in his path. Bella stood at the water's edge, towel in hand. She wrapped it around him quickly when he emerged, naked, from the water.

"They weren't lying about shrinkage on Seinfeld, were they?" she said, laughing.

"Hey, now!" he said defensively.

"Your bath's ready. Come on up before Adam falls off."

* * *

Edward lowered himself into the bathtub while Bella stripped down and turned the jets on to a low setting so the water was moving just enough to notice. They sat opposite each other, grinning like school kids.

"Good morning, Mrs. Cullen."

"Good morning, Dr. Cullen."

"What's the plan for today?"

As if on cue, Bella yawned. "I'm really tired out from yesterday and last night. Can we just have a lazy day? I feel like I could nap for the next month."

"That's fine with me. Maybe we can invite Jake and Leah over for dinner and a movie tonight?"

"Mm...that sounds good." Bella's head slipped under the bubbles for a moment, then, reappeared. She sputtered a little on the soapy water, before smiling at him. She looked like a little kid, head covered in iridescent soapy goodness. Clumps stuck to her eyelashes, making Edward laugh when she blinked.

He reached for her foot and began massaging it.

"I am SO going to give you head for that. Ohh, it feels so good." She rested her head on the back of the tub and sighed.

When the initial euphoria had passed, Bella held up Edward's foot and began to rub it for him. "Geez, honey, your feet are a mess. You should really get a pedicure or something. You're on them so much that they could use some pampering."

"Mm...that feels incredible...do, uh, men often get pedicures?"

"Sure, why not?"

"Seems like an Alice thing to do," he said, groaning. He suddenly jerked. "That was interesting. I think you just found a vital pressure point."

"Really? Which spot? Was it here?" she said, quirking an eyebrow as she pressed it again.

"Oh, yeah," he moaned. "I can feel it in my balls. It feels like you're massaging them from the inside." He made a very strange noise. She hoped it was a good one.

"I'm glad I can help. Ooh, you just did something that made Peanut jump."

"Sorry," he mumbled, "man, I should get you to rub my feet more often."

"Are you, uh, hard?" she asked, curious.

"Mm-hm."

"That's intense. I had no idea a foot rub could do so much damage. I suppose I should come through on my promise." She got up on her knees and crawled across him, taking Adam into her hand as she reached him. She stroked slowly at first, drawing a wide range of moans from him.

"You spoil me," he said as his hands ran through her wet hair.

"I haven't yet, but I will now," she said, dropping her head under water to take him into her mouth. She bobbed up and down in the bubbles, coming up for air every couple of strokes, like a professional swimmer. Edward lifted his hips so she wouldn't drown while ministering to his straining erection. He didn't have long to balance, though, as it was just moments later that he was spewing forth the seed of her labour deep into the back of her throat.

"So, does pineapple make Edward taste sweeter?" he asked, pulling her up onto his chest.

"Too soon to tell. We'll have to try again later. Let's go to bed. I'm getting cold and I'm tired."

They spent the morning nestled under the duvet on the bed, sleeping, spooning, and talking. Edward lay with his head on her stomach for quite a while, listening for Peanut.

"Hey, Peanut, it's Daddy. I think you might have ears now, but you still probably can't hear me. You're still so tiny, all nested in Mommy's womb.

"So, we're still on our honeymoon right now. You might have noticed that Daddy's been banging you around a lot. I'm sorry about that; I just really love your Mommy and sometimes I get carried away. I promise to try not to be so rough."

Bella snorted.

"Your Mommy is laughing at Daddy. You can probably feel her when she laughs—you'll have to tell me how that feels. She has such a wonderful laugh that it would be neat to know how it feels from the inside."

"Edward," she said, smacking his shoulder, "that's just weird."

He looked up. "Excuse me, dear, but I'm having a private moment with our baby. Kindly avert your attention elsewhere."

Bella laughed, reached for her iPod, and listened to music while Edward continued. He rubbed her bump gently as he spoke.

"So, Peanut, you've still got a long way to go but I know you can do it. You are your mother's child and she's the strongest person I know. There are a lot of people who love you and can't wait to meet you. I'll promise to stop banging your mommy so hard if you'll hang on long enough to come out healthy. We need you. I love you, little one."

* * *

Bella left to go check her e-mail when Edward fell asleep. She decided to send one off to the family.

_Dear Cullens/Swans/Hales:_

_Greetings from Tidnish! Edward and I are having a great time on our honeymoon. I know you are probably skeptical (Alice, I'm looking your way) but it's wonderful here; it's more Edward and Bella than any other honeymoon destination in the world. It's quiet, simple, and beautiful._

_We've been taking a lot of pictures and can't wait to show you when we get back. We went to a cute town yesterday that had the most amazing waterfowl sanctuary. Em, there were duck bums everywhere! Speaking of bums and birds, a swan totally grabbed my ass._

_Dr. Black's son Jake and his fiancée Leah are so much fun and so sweet. They set up a screened-in tent with a hammock last night so we could sleep under the stars without being eaten alive by mosquitoes. We're going to cook dinner for them tonight to thank them._

_Sadly, we're at the midpoint of our honeymoon. I could seriously stay here forever, although I can imagine how cold it might get here in the winter._

_Edward just woke up from a nap and is upstairs whining for me to come back to bed. I should go. I love you all and miss you something awful._

_Love, _

_Bella, Edward and Peanut_

"What took you so long?" Edward asked.

"Just e-mailing the gang, oh, and I might have read one from Dr. Carmen."

"Hey, outgoing mail only, unless it's marked URGENT!"

"Well, it was from Dr. Carmen, I thought it might be important." She lay down beside him and held his hand.

"Well, was it?"

"Yeah, kind of. It was the initial scope of the project. He wants a proposal soon. He needs to get it in to get the grant money."

"How soon is soon?"

"Would you be okay if I put in an hour or two while we're honeymooning?"

Edward groaned and not in that sexy way that would normally make her toes curl. "Bella, we're on our fucking honeymoon! Are you sure it can't wait?"

"Don't you think I would put this off if I could? Do you think I want to work on our honeymoon? This is important to me, Edward. I thought you'd understand by now."

"I do understand, love. I'm sorry, it's just that we rarely get time alone and I'm too selfish to share you with anyone right now. I didn't mean to upset you."

"No, Edward, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. It's not fair of me to do this on our honeymoon. I'll e-mail Dr. Carmen and back out of the project."

Edward ran his thumb across her cheek. "Don't you dare back out; I'm just going to have to learn how to share my bride."

"Thank you, husband."

"Anytime, wife."

* * *

Edward was lazing on the hammock reading a textbook while Bella worked on her proposal. After their earlier heated debate, he confessed that he'd smuggled a textbook with him in his carry-on bag. They agreed that he could study if she could work. Besides, studying in a hammock in the sun seemed so far removed from being academic that he didn't think it should count.

Bella sat at a picnic table working away on the laptop. She tried to come up with a convincing proposal to secure the grant money they needed. What did she want to show? How would the art and stories meld without being dreary, depressing, and uninspiring? She looked at the pictures Genevieve had sent her. They were a fascinating mix of deep, dark, and shitty versus bright, bold and empowering.

The book needed to scream hope. Maybe showing a juxtaposition of the dark and the light would instill that feeling on the reader. Hope. Bella wasn't sure she was the right person to speak highly of hope since she'd struggled with the concept for years. Hope was something of dreams, something dangling in front of your face while you were helpless to reach it. Hope was...fluttering in her belly.

"Hi, Peanut, are you trying to help Momma with her work? Yes, you are a symbol of hope, but how am I going to work this all together?" she sighed. "You're giving Momma pregnant brain, making it hard for me think."

_Stupid brain farts._ _Ugh._ Bella powered down the laptop, threw on a pair of sandals and walked toward the stairs.

Edward looked up from his book. "Going somewhere?"

"Crazy. Wanna come?"

"Sure do."

They walked down the beach on the wet sand. The tide was almost all the way out, giving them lots of places to wander. They walked to the water's edge and waded in the shallows. Edward would play with snails while Bella stared off at the horizon, searching for the answers to her infinite questions. Maybe one of the blue heron perching on one spindly leg just out of their reach, would have the answer, and swoop down to give it to her.

_Come on, brain, work! Think! Something! _ She thought. _Fuck, maybe I got myself in over my head._

"Sand dollar for your thoughts?" Edward said from behind, making her jump.

"Sorry, I'm struggling with that proposal. I think I bit off more than I could chew. I don't think I'm the right person for the job."

"Stop. It'll come, just let it. Give it space to grow and make itself known."

Bella turned and kissed him. "Thanks."

"Any time. Now let's keep moving. The tickle fish are wedging themselves between my toes and freaking me out a little."

They ran into Jake and Leah on their walk and invited them to dinner as a thank you for the surprise from the night before.

"So you liked it?" Leah asked.

"Loved it," Bella replied, hugging her. "It was magical."

"Jake did that for us one night. It was the most romantic thing I'd ever seen. As a matter of fact, the second time he did it, he proposed."

"Aw, that's so sweet," Bella gushed, looking over at a very unassuming Jacob, who was poking at a very large snail with Edward. "I really can't thank you enough. This has been an incredible few days."

Leah put her arm around Bella's shoulders. "It's really no problem. The pleasure is all ours. I get so lonely sometimes, there's only so much time a girl can spend playing Canasta with a group of senior citizens before she starts complaining about her rheumatiz and suspects the pain in her big toe is the gout."

"Do you like Yahtzee? I noticed a game at the cottage. It's been eons since I've played."

"Did someone say Yahtzee?" Jacob said, looking up from the slimy snail in his hand.

"Oh, oh," Leah said, shaking her head. "Now you've done it."

"Why?"

"Yahtzee is Jake's favourite game. You'll never lose him now."

Laughing, Bella grabbed Leah's hand and they walked ahead of the boys.

"So, where do you guys live during the rest of the year?"

"We've got a place in Sackville. We're both going to Mount Allison University. He's studying Commerce and I'm a music major. That's where we met."

"It's a beautiful town. We went there yesterday."

"It is. I'm sad that we've only got one year left there. I hate to leave."

"Where do you see yourself going?"

"Wherever Jake finds work. I'd like to eventually be a music teacher. I'm thinking about doing a Master's in music education, specializing in special needs children."

"I think you and I are kindreds, Leah." Bella said, smiling. "So what instrument do you play?"

"Instruments, you mean," Jacob said coming up behind them. "My girl plays piano, guitar, violin, drums, and saxophone."

Leah blushed. "I like a challenge."

"That's incredible, Leah. Edward is a piano prodigy." Bella said, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"Oh, Edward, we need to go play together!" Leah said, excitedly.

"Where?"

"At the conservatory on campus. I can get us in if you'd like to go before you head back to Hanover."

"I'd love to."

"I may have to kidnap you two and keep you here for the rest of the summer," Leah said, smiling.

"We might let you do that," Edward replied, "but I have to get back to work and Dr. Black would know exactly where to find us."

"And so Downward reappears," Bella said, tickling her husband.

"Downward?" Jacob asked.

"Long story," Bella said, giggling.

"Oh come on, you can't throw it out there and not explain."

"Did you ever see the sketch on Saturday Night Live with Debbie Downer?"

Both Jake and Leah shook their heads no.

Bella continued. "Rachel Dratch played her. She was the woman who was always bringing the moment down with some bizarre statistic or sad statement. Like once...hmm...let me see if I can get this right. She said, 'I love Disney World. It reminds me of my childhood; except for the two years I spent at a Children's Hospital.' And after she'd say something depressing, there'd be a wah-wah sound. It was hilarious. We might have to youtube it tonight."

"So, where does _Downward_ come into this?"

"My sister Alice and my lovely wife have come up with some, um, pet names for me."

"Pet names?"

"Yes, pet names. There's Downward, who appears when I'm being logical or 'a downer,' Drunkward, Sapward, Emoward..."

Jake raised his hands in mock surrender. "Say no more, I can see where this is going."

"Bella, love, why don't we head back up? We have prep work to begin if we want to get dinner on the table before midnight."

Big sigh from Bella. "You're right. Okay. Leah, Jake, we'll see you guys at seven, right?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," Leah said.

"Break out the Yahtzee for after dinner, I feel like kicking some newlywed ass."

"Oh, I do believe a challenge has been laid. We shall fight to the death with cup and dice after dinner."

Bella shook her head. "Good Lord, what have I started?"

* * *

_**I realize this chapter was short. I have the next one almost ready to put up. This was the most logical place to break them up without it turning into a 10,000 word epic snoozer.**_

_**Drama on the horizon kids.**_

_**Reviews make me smile, nominations make me giddy. Again, if you want to nominate Road Maps and Branded, you can go to: **__**http://theindietwificawardsDOTcom/nominationsDOTaspx (replace the DOTS with real dots)**_

_**Thanks everyone! Your love keeps me going. :)  
**_


	20. Ch 20 The Thief

_**Two chapters in one day? Am I crazy? Yes, it would seem that I am.**_

_**I have had a very productive weekend, writing-wise, so you shall reap the benefits...well, they're benefits if you enjoy the chapters.**_

_**Anyway, I'm sitting here in the dark, writing by a camp light because my power went out over two hours ago. I am assuming that a squirrel blew up a transformer or something. It happens a lot around here. My laptop battery is holding its own, which is great, and for some reason the neighbour's wireless is still working, so I'm borrowing their signal. ;)**_

_**Thanks to those who tried to nominate my stories. I think there's a glitch on the Indie TwiFic Awards page. No worries. If it's meant to be, it shall happen. :)**_

_**Stephenie Meyer still owns all the Twilighty goodness, but I have Dark Chocolate M&Ms so I'm happy.**_

When we last left them, B&E and J&L were talking on the beach. B&E were just going to head back to get started on dinner. How exciting. ;)

_**

* * *

  
**_

Edward left Bella to prepare the marinade for the steak while he ran out to a roadside vegetable stand he had spotted the day before.

After Bella had put out everything Edward would need to make dinner and had the meat in the fridge to marinate, she decided to give Carlisle and Esme a call.

"Bella, sweetheart! So nice to hear your voice. How's the honeymoon? Your photos have been stunning."

"I miss you, Esme. You would love it here. If you and Carlisle decide to buy waterfront property, you should do it here. I am in love."

"I'm so happy for you dear. How's Edward?"

"He's good. Um, that's kind of why I'm calling. What did Carlisle say to him the other day about his father? God, I hate using that word to describe HIM because he's so not Edward's father."

"I know, honey. How much did Edward tell you?"

"Just that HE showed up looking for him."

"It's true, he did. How he found us, I don't know. Our house is kind of out of the way. I suppose he just had to ask around for Carlisle Cullen. It's not as is people don't know him."

"What all did he say?"

"Maybe we should wait until you get back."

"Esme, I don't have long before Edward gets back. I need to know what we might be coming back to."

"He demanded to know where Edward was; wanted to know where he was living, what he was doing. He wanted to know if he was happy, if he had a good life."

"That doesn't sound so bad."

"I don't trust him, Bella."

That statement scared her. Esme was the first person to say that people should always be given a chance to prove themselves. She was never wrong when she made character judgements.

"Bella? You still there?"

"Yes, oh crap. There's Edward. Hang on a second, I'm going to take you down to the beach."

She waved to Edward, pointed at the phone, and mouthed the word ESME. He nodded and blew her a kiss.

"Okay, sorry about that. I don't want him to hear us talking about this. He was really upset after he spoke to Carlisle the other day."

"Oh, dear, that's my fault. We never should have..."

Bella cut her off. "No, you were right to tell him. We needed to know. So, why don't you trust him, well, beyond the obvious fact that he killed your sister and Edward's mother?"

Esme sighed sadly. "Elizabeth was my best friend, my sister, my kindred. We told each other everything until she met Edward Masen Sr. He brought out a side of her I'd never seen. She became withdrawn, secretive, and secluded. He occupied all of her time, never let her spend much time with me, and it broke my heart.

"Elizabeth was one of the most beautiful, vibrant, talented, loving, people this world has ever been blessed to have inhabiting it. She loved to dance, oh, could Liz dance. So graceful, gorgeous, soulful. Everyone who met her loved her instantly. Like Edward, she was irresistible in both looks and spirit. Her compassion for others was unbound, until she met HIM."

"How did they meet?"

"At a dance. He approached her for a dance and that was it, they were attached at the hip form then on. Liz was eighteen, fresh out of high school and unsure of what she wanted to do. He encouraged her to move to Seattle with him while he pursued a music career.

"It's true that Edward's musicality probably comes from his father because Ed Sr. was a gifted musician. He tried really hard to make it work, but he didn't get far.

"Liz had to take on several jobs to pay the rent while he tried to become famous. Like a lot of musicians, he drank a lot; he said it helped him create. What it did was make him angry and abusive, not to mention it intensified his mental illness. We didn't realize then that he had already started abusing her. He kept her in Seattle for so long that we couldn't see the damage he'd done."

"Poor Liz."

Esme sniffled. "I could never understand why she stayed with him. She tried to leave a couple of times but he caught her, begged her to come home; he told her he'd changed."

"A likely story."

"Yes, indeed. Then along comes Edward Jr. She was hopeful that being pregnant would make it stop and while it let up a bit, it never stopped."

"How do you know all this?"

"Liz kept incredible diaries. Much like the letters your mother and I wrote to each other over the years, Liz wrote letters to me every day, only she never mailed them. We found the journals after he killed her. It was very clear she was afraid to leave him, afraid he'd find her and kill them both or he'd hurt her family."

Bella's eyes filled with tears. "I know the feeling. God, my heart is breaking for her, and I never met her."

"She would have loved you, Bella. She wouldn't have wanted him with anyone else."

Bella sighed.

"Did Edward ever tell you he was premature?"

"No. We don't talk about that period of his life because he doesn't remember much, and because I think it bothers him."

"Ed Sr. got drunk and threw her down the stairs when she was almost nine months pregnant. She went into labour and tiny, little Edward was born. He almost didn't make it; it was touch and go for quite a while."

Esme sobbed quietly. "It just broke my heart to see him, so small, so defenceless, fighting so hard to live. I can't imagine how incomplete my life would have been without him."

"Me too," Bella said as she cried and rubbed her bump.

"I was also pregnant with Alice when all of this was going on. Edward was supposed to be born in late July, Alice in November.

"As soon as Liz and Edward were cleared to leave the hospital we brought them home with us. Liz had hurt her back in the fall and wasn't able to care for little Edward on her own, so I did. She told me just a fraction of the things his father had done and it killed me. She promised not to go back with him."

"But she did."

"Yes. He told her he was going to AA and that he was better. They went out on a couple of dates, he convinced her he'd changed, so she grabbed Edward and ran back to him. They got married without telling us and disappeared.

"I was heartbroken. I missed them and feared for their safety because I just couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right with Ed Sr."

"And it wasn't."

"Yes, dear, it wasn't. Within months, he'd started again, only it was worse. The sound of his infant son crying would send him into a rage. He shook Edward one day in front of Liz and she went ballistic. She grabbed Edward, put him in his crib and told his father that if he ever felt the need to hit or shake his son again, that he should take it out on her. He was never to touch Edward again, as far as she was concerned."

"God, Liz was something else."

"She was," Esme said with muted pride. "We don't know what prompted Ed to kill her. The diary entries ended the day before. We know they had been fighting about his drinking, money and Edward. She wrote the day before that she wanted to leave him again and that she just needed some money, but she was too proud to ask for help. Ed had been getting rough with Edward again and she'd had enough. My assumption about that night is that she either caught him hurting Edward, or she was telling him they were leaving. Whatever happened it was enough to send him over the edge. He beat her to death."

"In front of Edward."

Esme sighed sadly. "Seems so."

"Wow. Why have we never talked about this before now?"

"Because as you said before, this is a part of his life that he chooses to ignore. I don't blame him. My goodness, we've been talking for a long time. He's going to be worried about you."

"No, he's busy cooking. We're having Jake and Leah over for dinner tonight. Look, before I go, what was it about Ed Sr. this time that made you uneasy?"

"He's got that same look in his eye as when he promised me that he'd never hurt either one of them again, not to mention, he looked like he'd seen a ghost when he saw me. Liz and I looked a lot alike. I can't even imagine what went through that addled brain of his when he saw Edward that night at the bar because he looks so much like her.

"I'm scared that Edward's mental state is going to suffer with Ed Sr. poking around, not to mention, I'm scared he might hurt you and Peanut too."

"Would he really hurt me? Hurt us?"

"I don't know, dear. I just can't trust him."

"We'll be fine, Esme. He won't find us."

"Not now, but...anyway, you should go. You have guests coming and Edward's going to be suspicious. Please don't tell him we had this chat just yet. Wait until you get home. I don't want to taint your honeymoon even further with Ed Sr.'s bullshit."

"Language, Esme." Bella laughed.

Esme giggled. "I love you, Bella. Give our boy a big hug for me."

"I will. I love you too. Talk to you soon."

Edward was grilling meat on the deck when Bella returned.

"Geez, I thought I was going to have to come pry the phone out of your hands. What was so...Bella? Have you been crying? Is everyone okay?"

"Everyone's fine, honey. I was just having a preggo moment with Esme."

Bella hugged Edward with all the strength she could muster. "I love you, Edward."

"What was that for?"

"For being alive. For living. For fighting. For being you."

"Okay, I think. Look, dinner's almost ready. Should we eat inside or out?"

"Why not out in the tent? We can move it over to the deck and enclose the table and chairs."

"Great idea. Can you finish up the salad while I go set it up?"

"Of course."

Dinner was a resounding success. Food was devoured, wine glasses drained, and conversations flowed as if they'd been friends for years. As soon as Bella cleared the table, they broke out the Yahtzee dice and scorecards. The boys played to win while the girls played to, well, play.

"Edward, buddy, I can't believe you just took 18 for your sixes in that line. You'll never make bonus that way."

"Ah," Edward slurred, "Jake my friend, there is a method to my madness."

"Madness—yep, that about sums it up. You're going down, brother." Jacob drunkenly pounded a large fist on the table.

"Uhm, I think I've had enough," Bella said. "I'm going to go down and sit on the beach."

Leah looked relieved. "I'll join you. Jake," she said, bending over to kiss his cheek, "you behave."

"You too, Edward."

Bella grabbed a towel off the railing of the deck, the camera, and her hoodie.

"I'll meet you down on Noah's Ark. I'm just going to grab a sweater." Leah said as she ducked through the bushes.

The tide was on its way in as they sun was on its way out. Bella put the towel down on the rock shaped like Noah's Ark and took a seat. She watched the horizon as it changed colour. A bank of dense-looking clouds was moving through, enhancing the light show. She reached into her pouch for the camera and began taking photos of the changing night sky. She'd never seen colours quite like it.

"Incredible, isn't it?" Leah said, sitting beside her. "I never get tired of them."

"I don't want to leave. I really don't. We've got so few nights left and it's making me sad. Everything is going to change when we go back. Edward will be going back to his internship and school, I'll be working and travelling for the book project I'm working on, Peanut will be growing, and I'll be getting fatter. I just want to stay here forever. Leave the rest behind."

"I hear you loud and clear, sister. School starts in a couple of weeks. Jake is on the football team so he'll have to go back for training camp the week before. I'm a volunteer with the Frosh committee, so I'll be talking crying kids out of running back home to mommy and dealing with drunk teenagers in compromising situations." Leah shuddered at the thought.

"Why don't we make a pledge not to think about what's waiting for us back home?" Bella suggested.

"Pinky swear?"

"Pinky swear."

They hooked pinkies and laughed. Leah pointed out various landmarks on the beach and the horizon, although most were just shadows.

"That flashing light over there is the Port Elgin water tower."

"What's that light over there?"

"An airplane," Leah said, giggling.

Bella lifted the camera and took some self-portraits of the two of them. They pulled faces, crossed their eyes, stuck their tongues out, just good old-fashioned girlie fun.

"Want to go for a swim?" Leah asked.

"Sure. I don't have a suit on, though."

Leah was already pulling off her sweater and t-shirt. "I'm just going to go in my underpants."

"That'll work."

Bella stripped down, thankful for the darkness so her scars weren't as visible, took Leah's hand, and walked out into the water. Again, it surprised her just how warm it could be. It was still chilly, but it felt good.

They had to walk out a fair distance to reach water deep enough for them to dunk under. They submerged at the same time and came up laughing. Floating on the surface, Bella watched the stars peeking out from behind the dark clouds.

"Bella?"

"Mm?"

"What happened to your stomach? Are those scars from...him?"

"Yeah," Bella sighed, "they are. I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry? It's not your fault."

"They make people uncomfortable."

"Not me."

"Really?"

"Yup."

Leah launched herself into a backflip. "Doesn't bother me at all," she said, as she stood up.

"Cool, thanks." Bella rolled over onto her stomach and flipped into a handstand.

"Not bad, Bella. Can you flip?"

"I don't know. It's been years."

Bella tumbled forward in a lame attempt to do a front flip. She ended up sideways, spluttering. "No, I guess I can't."

Leah laughed. "At least you tried."

Bella splashed her, and thus began a lengthy splash war.

"Whoa! Time out! Innocent bystanders entering the battlefield." Edward said as he swam between them.

Jake was floating behind Leah. "Are you guys naked?"

"No. Are you?" Leah asked.

"No, but I could be."

"Uhm, yeah, Jake, let's freak out our new friends by getting naked in front of them. I think not."

Bella laughed and turned to find Edward, but he was nowhere to be seen. "Edward?"

She looked to Leah, who shrugged her shoulders before jumping on top of Jacob.

Just then something grabbed Bella's leg under the water. She let out a blood-curdling scream. Edward emerged behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. She turned around and smacked him.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Edward! Are you trying to make me mad? Are you trying to make me have a miscarriage? Ugh. Don't even touch me. Don't talk to me. FUCK!"

Bella stormed off, crying. She stumbled in the shallows, falling on her knees. Sitting there with her bloody knees drawn up under her chin, she shook and cried. Edward came along, scooped her up, carried her to Noah's Ark to gather her things and wrap a towel around her before taking her back up to the cottage.

Tears were still streaming down her face when he set her on the bed. He removed her wet bra and underpants, dressed her in plaid pajamas, tucked her into bed and left, returning moments later with a steaming cup of tea. Bella was still crying when he crawled into bed with her. He sat her up and held the cup to her. She took it and sipped as she continued to whimper softly. When she had drained her cup, she handed it back and curled into him.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I wasn't thinking," he said, twirling her wet, salty hair in his fingers. "I didn't mean to scare you."

She nodded.

"Are you going to talk to me?"

She nodded.

"Now?"

"I panicked."

He held her tighter. "I shouldn't have done it."

"No, you shouldn't have."

"Are you okay?"

"No. I just want to go to sleep."

Edward moved to get up. Bella grabbed at him. "Don't go."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sorry I freaked out."

"Don't be, love. It's over now."

"Jake and Leah probably think I'm a psycho."

"No, they were just worried. It's okay. Can I get you anything before you go to sleep?"

"No, I'm good. Goodnight, Edward."

"I love you, Bella."

* * *

Bella answered the door to a strange man standing on the deck.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes, I'm looking for Edward Masen."

"Oh my god, you're...you're him." Bella's heart was racing.

"Where is he?"

"He's not here."

"You're lying. Now tell me where the hell my son is."

"I'm telling you the truth. He's not here."

"Well, I'll just hang on to my grandchild until he comes back."

He reached for Bella, sticking his hand into her womb and pulling out a tiny, writhing baby.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Bella screamed.

"Bella?"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Bella?"

"Edward?" Bella opened her unfocused eyes and clutched at her stomach. "Where's Peanut? Where did HE go?"

"Calm down, love. Breathe in. Come on, Bella. Stop hyperventilating."

"HE'S HERE! YOU HAVE TO HIDE!"

"Bella, love. Who's here?"

"Sick..." Bella's stomach lurched.

"Oh, crap. Come on." He grabbed her and half dragged her toward the bathroom. She threw up all over herself before they got to the toilet.

Edward put her in the shower and sat her down. He turned on the water and climbed in with her. He rocked her and hummed while she clutched her stomach and dry heaved.

Eventually she calmed down. Her eyes were still unfocused, making Edward worry even more. He turned off the water, first undressing himself, then Bella, and carried her back to bed. He didn't bother with clothes this time.

He tried to get her to drink some water but she wouldn't let go of her abdomen. "Love, you need to drink. Dehydration will hurt Peanut. Please. Please, just take a couple of sips."

Holding the glass to her lips, he managed to get her to drink some.

"Are you in pain? Is there something wrong?"

"He...he took Peanut," she replied quietly.

"Who did?"

"HE did, Edward. It was HIM."

"James?"

"No!"

"Who?"

"Your father. I couldn't protect the baby, Peanut's gone." Bella sobbed into Edward's chest.

_What the hell is she talking about? Is she having some kind of psychotic episode? Is she stuck in a night terror? Is she in shock? What do I do?_

"Love, look at me."

Bella lifted her head. He held it so he could look her in the eye. She was a little less foggy-looking, but still didn't look right. _What the bloody hell?_ He stroked her cheeks and kissed her forehead.

"Bella, love, snap out of it, please. You're scaring me. Do you know who I am?"

"Edward."

"Where are you?"

"I'm not sure."

"Where's Peanut?"

"Gone."

"Gone where? With whom? How?"

"He reached in and took Peanut."

"Bella?"

"Mm."

"Look down at your belly. Come on, please. Peanut is still there. My father is in another country, on another coast. You were dreaming."

"Okay."

Bella took a couple of ragged breaths and went back to sleep.

_That was just fucked up, _he thought. _I hope she's snapped out of this when she wakes up.

* * *

_

"Edward?"

"Mm. Sleeping."

"Edward?"

Mm...what?" He bolted upright. "Bella! Are you okay?"

"I don't know. Why am I naked?"

"You don't remember?"

"No. What happened?"

"You had a nightmare," he said, pulling her into his lap. "You got sick."

"Wow. It's been a while since that happened. I can't remember much beyond...oh, I remember getting mad at you for scaring me. I don't remember anything after that."

"Do you feel okay?"

"Yeah, I think so. My throat's a little sore, I'm thirsty, and my head's a little achy, but other than that, I'm okay."

Edward exhaled, relieved. "You scared the shit out of me, Bella. I hope that never happens again."

"Was it different than before?"

"Why don't I grab you a glass of water and I'll try to explain what happened?"

Bella pounded back two glasses of water before Edward started talking. He told her about how she woke up screaming, clutching at her womb; about how unfocused her eyes were, how it felt as if she wasn't there; about how she threw up all over herself and how they had showered fully clothed.

"What was I dreaming about? Did I say?"

"Yes, you kept saying that HE took Peanut. That HE was back and was looking for me."

"HE who?"

"My father."

Bella paled. She lay back with her eyes closed as she was assaulted with flashes of the dream. She wrapped her arms around her abdomen protectively.

"Love? What's wrong?"

"I remember the dream."

"You do? What happened?"

She took two deep breaths before recounting what had happened. Edward held her hand as she spoke and wiped an errant tear from her cheek.

"He's not here, love. He won't find us and he won't hurt us. Especially you and Peanut. He's taken too much from me already. I won't allow him to disrupt my life now."

"I know it's foolish to dream about such things."

"I just don't understand what brought it on. Why would you dream about my father harming you?"

Afraid to tell him about her conversation with Esme, she did something she hated to do, especially to Edward. "It must have been something I ate."

"Must have," he replied, unconvinced.

"Speaking of eat, I'm kind of hungry. Why don't I go make breakfast? I'll bring it up—you rest. I kept you up last night and it wasn't fair."

"Thanks, love."

As soon as Bella disappeared, Edward grabbed his phone and called his father.

"Dad, I now it's early, but..."

"Edward? Is everything okay?"

"I hope I didn't wake you."

"No, no, son. I'm at the hospital."

"I can call back later."

"No, it's okay. What's wrong?"

Edward quickly explained what had happened with Bella.

"Sounds like a night terror to me. Is she okay today?"

"Yeah, she didn't even remember what happened."

"But she seems to be okay?"

"Yeah, she's downstairs making breakfast. Dad, it scared the shit out of me. I know, I know, _language, Edward,_ but it did. I was so scared she wouldn't snap out of it."

"I wonder what caused her to dream about him. That's so strange."

"I know. She was on the phone with Mom for a long time yesterday. I wonder if she said anything to her about him."

"Perhaps. Oh, I'm being paged. Son, I wouldn't be too concerned unless it becomes a frequent occurrence. A woman's changing hormones can cause very vivid dreams and night terrors. Keep an eye on her, but I'm sure she's fine. You could always call Victoria and see what she has to say about it. Give my love to Bella."

"I will. Love you, Dad."

"I love you more, son."

* * *

_**A little drama for those complaining that things were getting a little too Sapward and schmaltzy.**_

_**Reviews make my power come back on quicker. :) Okay, I'm a terrible liar. They don't, but I still love getting them. I mean, come on, I gave you two chapters today!  
**_


	21. Ch 21 Lullabies & Triple Word Scores

_**Have I ever told you all how much I love you? Because I do. You guys keep me going, you make me want to write this story, you make me smile with your reviews and messages when I sneak on at work. I wish I could hug you all, but then that would be weird. So, cyberhugs from Sapward for everyone, with a side order of Emmett bear hugs.**_

_**Warning: this chapter is lemony, twisty, turny, and musical-y.**_

_**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, but I own a copy of **_**US Weekly's The Sexy Stars of Twilight_ special edition magazine. For those who haven't seen it, it's nothing we haven't seen, but there are a couple of nice full-page pics of shirtless Rob in Italy. Sigh. After drooling over it, I suddenly feel like a dirty old cougar. ;)_**

When we last saw them, Bella had that horrendous nightmare about Ed Sr., a puking episode, and nearly gave poor Worryward a coronary. Bella made breakfast while Edward talked to Carlisle about it.

**_

* * *

_**

The sound of rain pattering on the roof was quick to lull them back to sleep after they'd eaten breakfast. It was a deep and dreamless repose, something they both needed after the night they'd just had.

Just before noon, Bella heard a knock at the door. Leah was standing outside under a garnet and gold umbrella. Bella let her in and gave her a hug.

"I'm sorry about what happened on the beach last night. Sometimes I have flashbacks and overreact when I'm startled. I didn't mean to freak you out."

"I'm just glad you're okay. We were really worried when we heard screaming in the middle of the night. We didn't know if we should come check on you guys or not."

Bella blushed. "I had a nightmare," she said quietly. "It's all good now."

"Good. So, I'm actually here on a mission. Do you guys have plans today?"

"No, it's so crappy outside there's not much we can do but stay inside. Why?"

"Do you feel up to a trip into town? It would be a great day to go to the conservatory or one of the music labs."

"Edward, honey, can you come down for a minute?"

He appeared shirtless at the railing. "What is it? Oh, hi, Leah. Let me grab a shirt, I'll be right down."

Edward was downstairs moments later. "What's up?"

"Well," Leah started, "I thought since it was raining that we could go into town, maybe go play some music."

His tired eyes opened wide, the smile he flashed reached beyond his eyes. "Really? Bella, can we? Please?"

"Of course. When do you want to go?"

Leah looked at her watch. "Can you be ready in half an hour?"

"Sure can," Edward exclaimed, unable to conceal his excitement. "Come on, Bella!"

He started dragging her upstairs.

"We'll see you in a few," Leah called out, as she chuckled.

Edward bounced like Tigger for the entire drive. They laughed at him as he became more and more excited the closer they got to town.

"Here comes Funward," Leah said, giggling.

They pulled up to the building beside the swan pond. Bella hissed when she saw the white monsters swimming in the water. "Stay back, foul beasts!"

"I just need a minute to grab the keys. Can you wait here for me?" Leah said as she pointed to the lobby.

Jacob hefted a bag over his shoulder and gave Leah a kiss before she ran off. "It's not that I don't want to hear you play, but I need to go to the gym. I'll be back over in about an hour."

Edward took Bella's hand in his and led her to a bench in the lobby. He pulled her onto his lap and hugged her. "Are you feeling okay, love?"

"Sure am, why?"

"I'm just a little worried still."

"About last night?"

He nodded, seriousness etched in his brow.

"Baby, I'm okay, we're okay. Let's just forget about it and you have fun making music today."

"I will," he said, smiling again.

Leah returned, jingling keys in her hand. "Let's go make beautiful music!"

She led them to an auditorium. It was small, but the acoustics were ideal. There was a grand piano in the middle of the stage.

"Please, go sit. I need to go grab a couple of things. I'll be right back."

Edward and Bella approached the stage. He lifted her up before jumping up himself. Reverently, he walked around the piano, trailing his fingers across its alabaster finish. When he reached the bench, he pulled it out, sat down, cracked his knuckles, and played some scales as a warm up. His fingers danced across the keys so quickly Bella had a hard time following them.

Once he was warmed up, he patted the bench, beckoning for Bella to join him. As soon as she was seated, he began to play her lullaby. She rested her head on his shoulders as he played and soaked it in. There were so many layers to it; the pain and fear, the sadness and joy, the love, the hope and the safety. So many nights she had fallen asleep to this song; she had walked down the aisle at her wedding to it, and she would hopefully hum this familiar melody to their child in a few short months.

Suddenly there another layer to the song. It was the low, rumbling of a stand-up bass. Leah had gone to get some other instruments and was trying to play along with Edward. It was beautiful; truly incredible. Bella had never thought for one second that the song could ever sound better, but it did. It made her heart break. Tears streamed down her face.

Edward sat beside her smiling like crazy. He played a little longer, and then faded out.

"Oh my God," Bella said, wiping her eyes. "That was...wow...I have goose bumps."

Leah looked over at them, smiling. "Edward, what was that song you were playing?"

"_Bella's Lullaby_. I came up with it when I first met Bella," he said as he looked at his wife lovingly. "When she was having horrible nightmares I'd spend the night with her, and hum this song to her when they got really bad."

"It's a stunning piece, Edward. Have you ever recorded it?"

"Yes," he said, shyly, "for Bella's iPod."

"Would you like to do it again, this time with the bass added? I could even call around to get someone to play violin if you want."

"No, this is fine. I never knew it could sound so rich with just a lower-range string instrument added."

"Can we run through it again a couple of times so I know what I'm doing?"

"Of course."

"I'm going to go sit in the front row and listen from there," Bella said, kissing his cheek.

"Okay."

Edward and Leah played, replayed, arranged, added, subtracted, and tweaked the arrangement until they had it just right. Jacob came back and sat in the front row with Bella.

"Wow, that song is haunting."

"It is, isn't it? I can't believe how incredible it sounds now. I didn't think it was possible to love it any more than I already do."

"Quiet in the audience, please. We're going to record. Jake, honey, can you go up to the control room and hit record?"

"Sure thing, Sweetcheeks."

After four recordings, they had it. Leah copied it from laptop to USB key and CD just to be sure she had a copy.

"I'll burn a copy for you tonight. Thanks for doing that, Edward."

"For what?"

"For sharing that incredible composition with me. Would you mind terribly if I played it for my professors? They'll be interested in hearing it."

"Be my guest. It's certainly not the most elaborate piece I've composed, but it's my favourite."

Bella hugged him. "It's my favourite too."

"Shall we go grab a bite before heading back? Joey's makes the best pizza in town."

"Sounds good."

They walked over to the restaurant and met up with some of Jacob and Leah's friends. Leah was telling them about the recording they'd done. When they begged to hear it, Jacob asked the waitress if they could play it on the stereo.

There wasn't a dry eye in the restaurant by the time it was finished playing.

"Edward, you need to think about publishing the sheet music for this, it's beautiful," a guy named Riley said.

"Oh, I don't know, it's kind of personal," Edward replied modestly. "It's just a song I wrote for my beautiful wife."

But Edward did think about it. He thought long and hard about it. Then he thought about how hot his wife was. Then he thought about going for a swim. Then he thought about bending Bella over the couch and breaking his promise to Peanut about not banging her so hard. Then he fell asleep.

* * *

The weather wasn't much better on day seven of their honeymoon. They slept until ten, had a leisurely breakfast, then did some work. Bella was feeling a little more inspired about the proposal and managed to get it mostly mapped out before Edward served grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup for lunch.

Jacob and Leah came over to play Scrabble in the afternoon.

"I'm sorry, but you can't use Drunkward as a word, Bella," Jake said, chuckling. "Nice try, though."

"Why not?" she whined playfully.

"Why not? It's a proper noun. You can't use proper nouns."

"Fine then, I won't."

Edward played the word _dildo_ and made the girls blush. Jake played _cock_. Bella played _come_. Leah put down the word _tease_. Suddenly, their innocuous game of Scrabble had become a race to see who could play the best sexual word.

Bella beamed as she put down F-U-C-K on a triple word score. As she laid the tiles with her right hand, her left one was creeping up Edward's thigh.

Suddenly he jumped up and faked a yawn. "Boy, I'm tired out. Do you guys mind finishing later?"

Jacob smiled knowingly and nodded. "Yeah, I'm suddenly tired too. Leah, let's head back. We'll talk to you guys tomorrow. Have a good evening," he said, winking at them.

Edward locked the door behind them. When he turned around to look at Bella, his mouth actually watered at the thought of tasting her.

"What's gotten into you?" she asked, feigning innocence.

"You. You've gotten into me, and now I'm going to get into you. Come here," he growled at her.

Bella felt a familiar rush of wetness between her legs, as Edward spoke to her. He looked at her hungrily, his lustful eyes trained on her every move.

"You, come here," she said, as she leaned back against the table, spreading her legs. She beckoned him with a finger.

With a feral growl, he crossed the room, pinning her down as he ground his erection against her. He kissed her roughly as he lifted her onto the table, laying her down and peeling off her pants. He could see the wetness in her cotton underpants and his eyes rolled back into his head.

Bella reached down and touched herself through the flimsy cotton. "I'm ready, Edward."

"Oh, boy, are you ever." He reached over and slowly pulled the cotton barrier down her legs. He held them to his nose and inhaled deeply.

When she looked into his eyes she nearly came right then and there: they burned intensely, passionately as he looked at her sopping wet, and still very hairless mound.

He kissed his way up her thighs, parting them further as he reached the promised land. He licked her long and hard.

Bella cried out as he laved her, delving in and out, nibbling on her throbbing clit. She cursed, writhed, thrust, and cried out as he performed the most intimate and pleasurable torture on her. His long, talented fingers found their rhythm as he played her G-spot with more finesse and passion than he'd ever exhibited on the piano. Bella's cries became more urgent with each thrust, her walls clamping down harder and tighter just before she exploded.

Edward's mouth continued to work her through the first orgasm until she begged him to stop.

"I...I...uh, need to breathe...just...a...minute," she panted.

He helped her sit up, cradling her gently to him.

"Off," she said, tugging on his shirt. He complied without complaint.

"Off," she said, tugging on his pants. He dropped them as fast as he could."

"Off," he said, tugging on her shirt. Instead of waiting for her to do it, he pulled it over her head and quickly unfastened her bra.

"Upstairs?" Bella asked.

"Yes." He helped her onto his back and he piggybacked her up to the bedroom. He could feel her wet sex hugging the base of his spine, increasing his already intense need to take her.

Once they reached the bedroom, Bella told him to lie down on the bed. She rummaged around in her suitcase. "I would hate to have to tell Alice that this went to waste."

"What is it?"

She blushed. "Edible body paint."

"Oh, I'm intrigued, but I really need to fuck you right now," he said, matter-of-factly.

"Not yet."

"Please?"

"You had your chance. Now it's my turn."

Edward sighed dramatically.

"It'll be fun," she said, hopeful, waving the box in front of her.

"Okay." He didn't sound convinced.

"Ugh! Fine, Edward. I want this to be fun." She set the paint box down and bent herself, spread eagle, against the front of the dresser. She faced the mirror and looked back at him. "Fuck me, Edward. We'll paint later."

He didn't need her to tell him twice. He was across the room and inside her in half a heartbeat. "Thank you," he said, pounding into her.

"Oh, you owe...owe...oh my god...owe me...Big time." She cried out as she came.

Edward continued to pump into her wetness until she came again. Her legs were giving out, so he picked her up and took her to the bed where he finished off.

He lay, spent, half on her, half off her, panting. "Thank you."

"You already said that," she said grinning.

"I'm really thankful."

"You owe me."

"You already said that," he said, cheekily.

"You really owe me."

They lay entwined, sweaty, and smelling of sex until sleep claimed them both.

* * *

Edward woke up and swatted at a fly.

"Hey! What're you doing?" Bella said, slapping at his hand.

"What's going on?" he asked sleepily.

"I told you that you owed me. It's payback time."

Edward looked down at his body; Bella had begun painting a landscape on him. It was incredible what she'd done in such a short period of time with edible body paint.

"Wow, I'm a work of art. Wait, what are you doing?"

Bella had taken Adam in her hand and was stroking him. "I need Adam at full-attention. He's too hard to paint when he's floppy; no pun intended."

Once Adam was at full-mast, she began to run the brush up his shaft with deliberately slow strokes, prompting Edward's hands to fist in the sheets. When she reached the sensitive head, she switched colours. He was curious as to what she was turning his penis into.

Finally satisfied with her creation, Bella grabbed the camera and took several photos of her masterpiece.

"You're not planning on showing those to the family, are you?"

"Nope. Private collection only."

"You won't sell them to TMZ or Perez Hilton when I'm famous, will you? I couldn't bear for Perez to draw cum dripping from my mouth or hearts over Adam."

"Nope. You. Are. My. Work. Of. Art. MINE! I'm not sharing. Now, I should probably start at the top and work my way down to dessert, shouldn't I?

"Dessert?"

"The ice cream cone. The one with the hot, liquid, surprise at the end." She flicked her finger across the top of the _ice cream_, making him jump.

She started by licking his collarbone, slowly, savouring the sweetness. His chest was a Van Gogh-inspired night sky full of stars, the two biggest being his nipples. She suckled and nipped at them, cleaning the paint off them.

"Mm, mango," she said, licking her lips.

"Can I taste?" he asked.

"Sure can." She crawled up his body and kissed him hard, her tongue forcing its way into his mouth.

"Mm, mango indeed," he said, licking his own lips.

Bella kissed down to the horizon, cleaning a trail through the various colours, following the contours of his natural manscape: his subtle abs, his navel, the V to the P. What awaited her at the juncture of the V was a P harder than marble and glistening with pre-cum. "Well, it seems the ice cream is melting. I should probably take care of that now, don't you think?"

"Please," he croaked. Bella's delicious torment was going to kill him soon.

"I'd better start at the top, seems it's dripping." She locked eyes with him as she dipped her tongue down to lick up the drop of pre-cum pooling at the tip. His hips jerked at the sensation.

"Easy, Edward."

"Sorry."

Bella licked around the frenulum, before taking the whole head into her mouth, creating a powerful vacuum. As she sucked, her tongue dipped in and out of the slit in the top.

"Oh, God," Edward moaned.

Slowly, almost painfully slow, Bella pulled inch by sensitive inch of him into her mouth. Once he hit the back of her throat, she cupped his balls, which had been painted orange, and rolled them gently in her hand. Up and down her mouth went, pulling guttural sounds from deep within his chest with each over-stimulating pass she made.

"Bella, I'm..."

She released his testicles, running her fingers just behind, to massage his perineum, the patch between his scrotum and his ass. His hips bucked wildly and he cried out as his seed shot deep into her mouth.

"What was that?" He asked, breathless.

"A little trick I picked up in Cosmo."

He grinned. "Should I buy you a subscription?"

"Nope. I got what I needed out of it."

"I'd say you did. Your face is a mess. Come here and let me clean you up."

* * *

The sun finally showed its face again. Bella was sitting at her easel painting a portrait of the cottage. It would be a rush job, but she wanted to have something to give to Dr. Black to thank him. She also wanted to do something for Jake and Leah, but wasn't sure she'd have time. She could always ship one to them later.

Edward was dozing in the hammock. He sure enjoyed it. Hell, she enjoyed it as well. Many good times had been had in there in a short time, and she secretly wondered if perhaps they should offer to buy Dr. Black a new one or hose this one down before they left.

Jake and Leah had gone into town. They said they needed to do something for school and they'd track them down later. Bella was happy for the peace and quiet, as she hadn't done as much painting as she'd hoped to.

Bella's phone vibrated. She beamed when she saw who it was. "ROSIE!"

"Bella! How's my girl?"

"I'm good, but I miss you."

"Having a good time?"

"Oh, yeah," Bella said, huskily.

"Really? Oh, do tell! What dirty things have you two been up to in between sightseeing trips?"

"Home talk, Rose, home talk."

"Speaking of home, when are you heading back?"

"Thursday. Our flight gets in around noon."

"Oh, thank God. Your brother is driving me nuts."

Bella laughed. "God, I really miss you guys. I wish you were here."

"How's Peanut?"

"Fluttering. My belly is getting bigger. It was as if Peanut quadrupled in size overnight."

"It happens. Don't worry about it; I woke up one morning and your darling brother called me _Goodyear_."

"Oh, Rosie, he didn't! I'll kick his ass."

Rose chuckled. "Trust me, Sweets, Em learned his lesson the hard way."

"How's Bean doing?"

"Bean is active and growing like a weed. I can't wait for you to feel him/her."

"I can't wait either. As much as I love it here, I'm looking forward to getting home."

"So, shall I pick you up on Thursday?"

"No, the Volvo is at the airport. I'll call you when we get in, though. I can't wait to see you."

"Me too. Give my love to Edward."

"I will. Give my brother a kick in the ass, please."

"Consider it done."

* * *

Edward and Bella were walking through the woods, talking. It was starting to get dark and he feared they might be lost. "Bella, do you recognize anything?"

"No, where are we?"

"I don't know. We should really get out of here, it'll be dark soon and we're not dressed for a night outside."

"Why don't we head toward that light over there?"

"Okay, maybe it's the road."

They walked for what seemed like forever when they finally found a clearing, but it didn't seem like they were any closer to finding the road. Edward noticed a campfire off to the side and a person sitting beside it.

"Excuse me, sir? Hello? We're lost. Can you help us find our way out?"

The man turned around and Edward screamed. It was his father.

"Hello, son. I've been waiting for you."

Edward sat up, sweat pouring off him. He was panting and trembling. It was a dream. Thank fucking God it was only a dream.

_What am I going to do? Why won't he leave me alone? It's bad enough he's trying to find me, but now he's haunting my dreams, Bella's dreams. Fuck! _He needed to confront his father sooner or later and if he was going to find any peace, it had better be sooner than later.

_Maybe he's changed. Maybe everything'll be okay? I can't just assume that it won't be._

"Edward?"

"Hi, love."

"What's wrong?"

"Come sit, please. I need you," he said, patting the spot beside him. She carefully rolled into the hammock and landed on top of him. When she shifted to lie beside him, he shook his head no and held her.

"Just like this. I need to feel you, and not in a I-want-to-bend-you-over-and-fuck-you-twelve-ways-to-Thursday way. I just want to feel your heart beating on mine, maybe feel Peanut fluttering. I need to feel your breath on my face."

"Sweetie, you're scaring me. What's wrong?"

"Would you be averse to leaving a day or two early? I have some business I need to attend to before going back to work."

"No, honey. If you need to go, we go together."

He squeezed her until she squeaked. "You're the best. Oh," he paused as he ran a finger across the line of her jaw. "We need to go to Forks first."

"Yay!"

He looked at her, confused. "You want to go to Forks?"

"I want to go see Carlisle and Esme," she said, smiling before she kissed his nose. "You make some phone calls while I pack and start cleaning."

"Aren't you going to even ask why we're going back?"

She shook her head. "You need to exorcise a demon, what else could it be?"

"Are you okay with this?"

She cupped his cheek and he leaned into it. "Baby, you do what you need to do make things better for you. You need to make the nightmares go away."

"Nightmares?"

"You've been having nightmares."

"How? I...I don't remember..."

"It's okay. They've only started getting bad the past couple of days and you calmed down so quickly that it didn't seem right to say anything, especially after the hell I put you through with mine. I'd just hold you and hum, like you did for me."

"I just don't understand why you didn't bother to tell me."

"Because they're really not all that bad, honey. Now you get our tickets switched and I'll get things sorted out here. Man, Leah's going to be disappointed."

"We'll have to invite them down for a visit. Okay, let's get rolling."

After a few phone calls, Edward was able to secure a flight out of Halifax the following morning. They had a lot of work to do to get ready to go. There was packing and cleaning to be done, not to mention goodbyes to be said.

Leah and Jake got home shortly after supper. They walked over and found Edward packing up the hammock and the deck furniture.

"What's going on? Why are you packing up?" Leah asked.

Edward sighed. "We have to go back. Something's come up and I need to deal with it before we go home. We're flying out tomorrow morning to go to Forks."

"No!" Leah said, reaching for Jake's hand. "We still had two more days."

Bella came outside, took one look at Leah and started to cry. "I'm sorry, Leah. We really have to go."

Leah walked over and hugged Bella. "Shit, I'm sorry. I'm being selfish. It's just been so nice to have someone here to hang out with."

"Will you come visit us next time you visit Jake's dad? Please?" Bella said, tearfully.

"Of course we will."

Edward sighed. "We should get back to work, honey. We have to leave early and I want to have everything cleaned up before we go to bed."

"Don't worry about cleaning, we'll do that when you go. Why don't we have one last bonfire?" Jake suggested.

"We can't ask you to do that," Edward replied.

"We insist," Leah said. "You two finish packing and meet us on the beach when the sun goes down. Do you want hot dogs and s'mores again?"

Bella shuddered. "No s'mores, but a big yes to hot dogs."

"Okay, we'll see you down there in an hour or so."

They were able to get a lot accomplished in the hour and a half before the sun went down. They sadly made their way down to the beach to spend one last night with their new friends.

Leah had brought a guitar down with her. In no time, she and Edward were singing everything from classic rock to old camp songs.

"May, I, Leah?" Edward said, gesturing to the guitar.

"I didn't know you could play. By all means, please."

Leah handed it over to Edward, who did a quick tuning and began strumming. He played _In the Sun_ by Joseph Arthur. Bella smiled. It was one of her favourites.

I picture you in the sun wondering what went wrong  
And falling down on your knees asking for sympathy  
And being caught in between all you wish for and all you seen  
And trying to find anything you can feel that you can believe in

May God's love be with you  
Always  
May God's love be with you

I know i would apologize if i could see your eyes  
'Cause when you showed me myself i became someone else  
But i was caught in between all you wish for and all you need  
I picture you fast asleep  
A nightmare comes  
You can't keep awake

May God's love be with you  
Always  
May God's love be with you

'Cause if i find  
If i find my own way  
How much will i find  
If i find  
If i find my own way  
How much will i find  
You

I don't know anymore  
What it's for  
I'm not even sure  
If there is anyone who is in the sun  
Will you help me to understand  
'Cause i been caught in between all I wish for and all I need  
Maybe you're not even sure what it's for  
Any more than me

May God's love be with you  
Always  
May God's love be with you

After a couple hours of songs, dogs, and tears, Edward and Bella said their goodbyes.

"I'm so glad I met you, Bella. Please stay in touch."

"Of course, Leah. I wouldn't dream of losing touch. I'm really going to miss you."

"Will you guys come back next summer? Bring Peanut with you? Stay a little longer?"

"We'll see. But we'll get together before then. You must come visit soon." Bella said, wiping a tear off Leah's cheek. "I can introduce you to Rose and Emmett, maybe even Alice and Jasper. You'd love them."

"I'd love to see Jake and Em go a round," Edward said, chuckling.

"Okay, one last group photo!" Bella said. Edward took the camera and set it up on a nearby rock, setting the timer on it. He ran back to the group just in time."

"I'll send the photos once we get home and settled," Bella said as she gave them each one last hug. "Thank you for everything."

"Thanks, Jake. It's been a great week."

"No, thank you, Edward. Seriously."

"Bye guys," Bella said as they ascended the stairs. She stopped at the top and took one last look at the dark beach and the dark figures comforting each other beside the dying fire.

It was true: parting is such sweet sorrow.

* * *

_**Aww, I know...it sucks that their honeymoon was cut short, but really, I couldn't handle writing any more honeymoon lemonade. Besides, Edward needs to confront his matricidal father so he can get on with his life, and so we can all get on with ours. :)**_

_**No promises, but I'll try to have something up on the weekend. I'm going to see Transformers tomorrow night (if I can score some tickets) so I won't have a whole heck of a lot of time to get anything written. Pray for a quiet day at work so I can get some writing done when I'm covering phones.**_

_**Again, you guys are amazing. The little experiment to see if anyone would like something I wrote has turned into something truly epic, and it's all because of you. Take a bow. Yes...even those of you who have yet to review. The fact that you read it and have favourited it makes you almost as wonderful as my loyal reviewers.**_

_**This chapter is dedicated to the special man in my life. Today marks the fourth anniversary of the day I adopted my ginger kitty, Mr. Frederick K. Knuckles Stinkbottom.  
**_


	22. Ch 22 Breakdown

_**Before I do anything, I need to thank any and everyone (Holliegirl, i'm looking at you) who nominated **_**Branded_ in the Indie Twific Awards. It is now on the nomination list and I have a few new readers because of it. *Waves to the newbies! Hi!*_**

**_I meant to give props to a special reviewer friend of mine who suggested the edible body paint from the last chapter. She said she didn't need credit, but she deserves it: _I Punch Werewolves 4 Fun. _I also want to take a second to thank the wonderful _Entropic Kitten_, who, even though she just had a baby a couple of weeks ago, still finds time to bounce ideas around with me._**

**_This whole experience gets better every day because i'm meeting so many wonderful people and reading so many wonderful stories. I am learning a lot along the way too, and that's what I wanted to tell people...I know a lot of you reading fanfic have written some yourself or want to, but are too scared to do it. I say go for it. Even if the nasty trolls from the Twitard Community come and flame you endlessly, at least you had the balls to do something as bold as put yourself out there. We're all learning, and nobody is perfect. Even the best fanfics out there are flawed. Don't worry if you think your story is crap and you're afraid that no one wants to read it because most of us feel that way when we put something as intimate and personal as something we've written out for other people to read. Chalk it up as a learning experience, learn from it and forge onward. _**

**_I can say this from experience because I let someone cut me down about 8 years ago and it took me five more years before I could even think about writing anything again or let anyone read it. I spent five years hiding from the one thing I had always loved doing because I let one person's hurtful comments get under my skin. Please don't let that happen. Never give up a passion because someone tells you that you suck. Sucking is in the eye of the beholder and not everyone has the same prescription glasses. I know I've had several insecure chapters, where I've wondered if it was going to work, and I feel a little hypocritical being all preachy about this, but it just makes me sad that so many of you are scared, just like I had been. I'm no expert, I'm just someone with a love of words and all things Twilight.  
_**

**_So, I say to you, write if you love it, sing even if you can't carry a tune in a bucket, dance as if no one is watching, and grab a box of tissues because this may pan out to be an intense chapter._**

**_You've been warned. _**

**_So, SM still owns Twilight. She is the undisputed champion of all things Cullenary and her story should be an inspiration to everyone. I mean, seriously, it started with a dream about a sparkling vampire boy and a mortal girl talking in a meadow. Now look at it! Any one of you could be the next Stephenie Meyer!_**

When we last left our beloveds, they were leaving early to go back to Forks so Edward could confront his matricidal sperm donor.

**_

* * *

  
_**

"Bella! Edward!" Esme squealed as she ran to them, arms outstretched. "Come here and give me a hug."

Bella gladly allowed herself to be enveloped in an embrace. "Hi, Esme. It's so good to see you."

"I wasn't expecting to see you two so soon. Come, come, you look exhausted. Let's head home."

Edward took Bella's luggage so she could walk arm-in-arm with Esme.

"So, son, what's the plan?" Carlisle asked as he helped with the bags.

"I don't know. We've only got a couple of days before we have to go back and I need this to be over so I can get on with my life."

"We'll help in anyway we can. I have to say that we're concerned, Edward. You didn't know your father. He's not stable. I would prefer if you didn't do this alone."

"I'm a big boy, Dad. I need to do this."

Carlisle sighed. "You're right, but I can't help but worry."

Edward put his hand on his father's shoulder, smiling crookedly at him. "You wouldn't be my Dad if you didn't."

Bella went to bed as soon as they arrived as she was tired and wasn't feeling very well. They decided to sleep in Edward's old room so she would be close if she needed them; he didn't want to be too far from her.

A weary Edward sat in his father's office with his parents, talking quietly so as not to wake Bella. "So, what should I do? How should I handle this?"

His mother put her hand on his and squeezed. "We can't tell you how to do it, sweetie. We can tell you how to find him, but that's about it. You need to look in your heart to see what you need to get out of this. Do you want an explanation? An apology?"

"I don't know," he said, raking his fingers through his hair. "I just don't know. It was so much easier when it was someone else's life, or rather, when it felt like someone else's life. The only one I've known except for those few horrible memories I have, is with you two and Alice.

"So, what do I want? I want him to go away. I want to go back to my life, which is one that doesn't include him."

"That sounds fair, son."

"I want to say _goodbye, it was nice NOT knowing you, now please move on._"

Edward clenched his fists, watching as his knuckles turned white, then pink again as the blood rushed back. His throat constricted and he fought to hold the tears at bay, but he was overwhelmed, overtired, and so over this.

Esme ran her fingers gently through his messy hair. "Sweetheart, I know this is hard, trust me. That monster stole my heart, but he gave me a soul. Yours. I have a lot of anger toward him—so much so that I've found myself wanting to hunt him down and kill him myself, but at the same time, I'm thankful that I've had you in my life for all these years."

Shock flooded Edward's brain. He'd never heard such venomous words and intentions coming from his mother's mouth.

Resuming her usual calm facade, Esme smiled sadly as she wiped a tear from his face and kissed where it had been.

"Sweetie, I think we both need some closure. If you want to do by yourself, then please, by all means do so, but please know you are not alone even if we aren't physically with you. I would love to be there for you; he owes us both so much.

"I'm scared, though, that he's going to try to hurt you again and my poor heart couldn't bear the thought of losing you, or almost losing you, again." She began to cry in earnest. Carlisle moved to put his arms around her.

"Esme, maybe he should read them."

"I don't know, Carlisle."

"Read what?"

"Your mother's journals."

* * *

Edward curled up on the couch in his room under a dim light. There was a box of diaries beside him, each one contained pieces of the puzzle that had, at one point, been his life. Did he want to know the truth? He could hear Jack Nicholson taunting him: _you can't handle the truth!_ Could he handle it?

There was no way to know without trying. He picked up the closest one. It was labeled _Esme #6 _and dated the year of his birth. As he flipped through it, he noticed that all of the entries began with _Dear Esme_. Why had she started them like that?

_January 1_

_My dearest Esme,_

_Happy New Year, sister. I wish I could have celebrated it with you; I miss you terribly. We could have danced around; watched Dick Clark drop the ball in Times Square; and sang Auld Lang Syne poorly. Instead, I spent my night hiding from Ed._

_I prayed long and hard that he'd stay sober, but he didn't. He went out, got hammered, came home and yelled at me. I don't even know why he was mad this time; the house was clean, there was food in the fridge, everything was exactly as he likes it._

_He found me hiding in the nursery, or rather, the room that will one day be the baby's room. He dragged me out, threw me against the piano and he...I don't even know anymore what to call it, it's not making love, it's not good sex, it can't be rape, can it? Spouses can't rape their partners can they? I didn't consent to it, I rarely do anymore; it just makes it easier to go limp and think about happier things, like the baby._

_I'm so scared for my baby. I'll let Ed do whatever he wants as long as he doesn't hurt my sweet, little angel. If he keeps this up I'm going to bite the bullet and come home. _

_It kills me to think that the man who once made my heart stutter with love, now makes it shudder in fear; the man who used to crush me with his hugs, is now breaking my bones with his blows. It's only when he's drunk though, so it's not all the time._

_Maybe you were right, Esme, maybe it's time for me to leave. Maybe a new year should equate a new beginning._

Edward flipped ahead a couple of months.

_March 15_

_My dearest Esme,_

_Please don't be mad at me, I'm begging you to forgive me. I know I told you I was coming home, but Ed just showed up with flowers and the promise that he'll never touch us again. I know I was freaking out when I called you, but I'm not as concerned. Ed seems really sorry that after he punched my stomach, when I told him that the baby stopped moving, he cried. He actually cried. He begged me to stay, said that he loved both me and the baby and he'd try to fix things._

_He needs me. He needs us. I can't just leave him so upset. I think he meant it this time._

_March 26_

_My dearest Esme,_

_You are furious with me and I am truly sorry. I tried to leave again last night but he caught me. I think he broke my collarbone again. I'm so scared, Esme; he said if I left him again he'd find me and kill us both, not to mention he'd come after you and Carlisle._

_I want to tell you this so you'll understand, but I can't. I'm just so scared something is going to happen to the baby and I'd never forgive myself if you got hurt because of my stupidity. I've really fucked things up. I'm trapped, I'm scared, I'm hurting, I'm confused._

_My heart is breaking for a man who hits me. How fucked up is that? When did I stop respecting myself? When did I let him take control?_

_Please tell me what to do because I'm out of options. If it weren't for the little one kicking me, reminding me of the miracle of life, I'd let him kill me and be over with it all. I'm just so tired of fighting._

_I'm scared I'll never find peace again._

Edward curled up into a tighter ball and cried. He rocked back and forth just as he imagined his mother had rocked him when he cried as a baby.

Bella had woken up to the sound of his crying and was beside him before he knew it. She gathered him into her arms, taking over the rocking duty, humming to him. She spoke quietly, whispering loving affirmations and humming to him, as he'd done for her so many times. "Let it go, baby. I've got you."

The sobs ebbed a bit, enough for Bella to lead him to the bed.

"What's going on?" she said quietly, brushing the damp hair from his face.

"Mother's...my mother's...journals," he said, trying to catch his breath.

"Oh, sweetie, are you sure you want to do this?"

He nodded vigorously. "Will...will you read to me?"

"Yes, but if it's too much, you need to tell me to stop. There's no need for you to torture yourself," she said as she got up, retrieved the box of journals, and returned to the bed. "Where do you want me to start?"

He took the journal he had been reading, found the page he wanted, handed it to her and settled down with his head on her chest, his hand rubbing her belly. She ran her fingers through his hair as she read.

_June 19_

_My dearest Esme,_

_One month to go! Only one more month of being a whale and my sweet angel will be here. I really think it's a boy by the way he's been kicking my bladder. Maybe he'll grow up to be a football player? No matter, he or she will be outstanding no matter what they choose to be or do._

_Ed is getting more and more unpredictable. His mood swings are causing me more nausea than the baby did at the beginning of my pregnancy; last night he as docile as a kitten at first, then he quickly became the devil. I just don't know what to do anymore. I keep praying that he'll change, but I don't think he will. If he'd just stop drinking, we'd be fine. He keeps promising that he will, that he's trying, but I can't see the difference. I'm going to talk to him tonight._

"Love, that's the last entry. Should I find the next book?"

He sighed. "Please. That was the night before he threw her down the stairs, the night before I was born."

Bella rummaged around, spotting a leather-bound book labeled _Edward #1_. "Found it," she said before uttering a gasp.

"What?"

She choked back a sob. "Listen to this. _My dearest Edward,_" she began.

He groaned. "Oh, dear God."

"Want me to stop?"

"No, continue, please."

_June 22_

_My dearest Edward,_

_There are no words adequate enough to tell you just how so very sorry I am. I just saw you for the first time and I'm so full of guilt right now that it's killing me._

_I'm sorry you are in so much pain right now. There are tubes coming out of everywhere, there are machines keeping you alive as your tiny little lungs weren't quite ready to work yet, and your little body is broken, bruised, and just so small. You've died several times since your birth and each time a piece of me dies with you._

_Daddy won't hurt us anymore. We aren't going back there ever again. Once we both get out of the hospital we're going to go live with Auntie Esme, who hasn't left your side since you were born._

_It should be me in there with you, and I'm sorry that it's not. Mommy hurt herself when she fell down the stairs. Sorry, Daddy hurt Mommy when he threw her down the stairs. I needed to talk to him about his drinking and he got angry._

_I'm sorry I angered Daddy and he hurt us. He won't hurt you ever again, I swear on my life._

_I hope you can forgive me someday for your brutal introduction to the world. It's not all bad here, it doesn't always hurt. There are a lot of people here who love you; Auntie Esme, Uncle Carlisle and soon, you'll have a cousin, with whom I pray you'll find a kindred spirit, as I did with your Auntie._

_Never doubt my love for you, my sweet little Edward. I'll make everything better, I promise. You are my heart, little one._

Bella ran her fingers over the tears spilling from his eyes. "How're you doing?"

He nodded mutely, kissed her baby bump, and motioned for her to continue.

_June 25_

_My dearest Edward,_

_Well, despite the odds, you are still with us, fighting like a little trooper. I knew you were tough, you can do this; I need you to do this because I'll die if you don't pull through. I couldn't live knowing I caused your short life to end. Please, my sweet angel, please fight._

_Uncle Carlisle said that you are a strong little guy to have made it this far. He also said that if you keep getting stronger we'll have you home in a few weeks._

_You squeezed my finger today. The NICU nurse said that it was probably a reflex action, but I know you were saying that you're going to hang on. A mother knows these things._

_The police came. They took pictures of both of us, and a statement from me. They want to charge your Daddy with assault and attempted murder. He's going to be furious with me. I'm scared he's going to find and hurt us again. Auntie Esme wants me to get a restraining order against him, and I think that I should; I can't be with you all the time so it might be the best way to keep him away from you, although I hardly doubt a court-ordered document would stop him._

_Be safe, mon coeur, be strong, and know that you're loved, my sweet little one. You are my very heartbeat. Mommy loves you._

"Keep going, please."

"Shall I skip ahead a bit?"

"Please."

_July 4_

_My dearest Edward,_

_You gave me an incredible Fourth of July gift! You opened your eyes today. You've been blind as a little kitten, hiding behind those thin, almost translucent, eyelids of yours, but today you opened them and looked at me. You REALLY looked at me. You have the most incredible green eyes, just like your Mommy and Auntie Esme. Carlisle said it was rare for a preemie to have such green eyes, as they're usually blue; but not you--not my miracle boy._

_Edward Anthony Masen, you are destined for great things. You've cheated death more times than we can count and you're only two weeks old. You have so much to do in this world, and you will never have to do it alone. As long as me and your Auntie Esme are alive, you will never know a moment of loneliness; we will make your life a great one, I promise. I would rather die than see any hurt in those emerald eyes of yours._

"Well, she got her wish, didn't she?" he mumbled bitterly.

"Baby, are you angry?"

"Of course I am!" he sat up, wiped the tears from his swollen, red-ringed eyes. "None of this had to happen. If she had just left him for good...fuck, she loved him more than she loved me."

"How can you say that, Edward? She died protecting you!"

He got up off the bed, pacing back and forth, as he pinched the bridge of his nose and furrowed his brow.

Bella watched in horror as Edward grabbed a book and threw it against the wall. "WHY?" he screamed. "Why did she choose him? Was I not enough? She goes on and on about how much she loved me, but she didn't love me enough to save herself."

Fists pounded against the wall, more items were thrown. Bella cowered against the headboard, arms wrapped protectively around her womb.

Edward whirled around, saw Bella shaking, crying, and dropped to his knees. His head hit the floor and he sobbed. His heart was shattering with the overload of information and the sight of his beloved, afraid—afraid of him. Was that how his mother looked when his father flew into a rage? Was he becoming his father's son?

As soon as he went down, Bella crawled off the bed to comfort him. Unsure if he would lash out, she called his name quietly, "Edward?"

"I'm so sorry," he wailed. "I'm so...so...sorry. Please hold me; I think I'm falling apart."

Bella wrapped her arms around him and held onto him for dear life. Never in all the years she'd known him, had he ever been so broken, so vulnerable.

"I've got you, Edward. I'm not letting go."

Fresh arms wrapped around the two of them as a tearful Esme joined them.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart. It's a lot to take in."

"Why didn't she love me? Wasn't I good enough?"

Esme sobbed so hard her body shook. "Edward, she loved you more than anyone or anything in the world. Can you not see that in her journals?"

"She didn't love me enough to stay away from HIM. I wasn't enough to make her want to live."

Lifting his swollen, splotchy, wet face to meet hers, Esme kissed his forehead. "Sweetheart, if it hadn't been for you, we'd have lost her a lot sooner. You were the reason she hung on as long as she did. Now come, let's get off this floor."

Bella and Esme helped Edward back to the bed. They lay on either side of him, holding him as he cried.

"You haven't read the whole story, love, there's a lot more you need to know. Maybe we should wait."

"No," he croaked. "I'm running out of time."

"Bella, could you please pass me the journal marked_ Edward #4_?"

Book in hand, Esme flipped through until she found the entry she was looking for. "Are you sure, son?"

"Yes."

"My dearest Edward," Esme began.

He shudder-sobbed as Bella rubbed his back reassuringly.

May 5

_My dear sweet angel, you never cease to amaze me. Every day you do something else that shocks and astounds me. You're not even a year old and yet you possess the soul of a wise old man._

_Today, after talking to your Daddy, you found me crying. You crawled over and put your hand on my cheek and said _Mama._ You used your first word to comfort me. After all I've put you through, you still love me and it's killing me. I don't deserve you, my sweet, darling, angel. I know I keep calling you my angel, but that's what you are. There is no way a human can be as perfect and loving as you are._

_We're going to be moving back with Daddy soon. I haven't told Auntie Esme yet because she is going to be very sad and angry. I hate to take you away from her, Carlisle and Alice, but we belong with your Daddy._

_I know that Daddy's track record hasn't been the best, but he's changed. He's not drinking anymore and he's going to special meetings. I think we'll be safe and finally able to be a family. You deserve the chance to know your Daddy._

_He's a complicated man, sweetheart, and although it might not seem like it, he does love you, very much. He just doesn't understand babies. He is a brilliant musician and he's trying really hard to get noticed. Someday someone will see his genius and we'll live in a big beautiful house. I can see a lot of him in you, especially your musical inclinations. I can't wait to hear you play the piano one day, or guitar, or perhaps you'll be a dancer. I found you dancing in your crib yesterday. It was the cutest things I've ever seen._

_I'm going to get us home, my angel, and everything will be okay._

_I love you so much it hurts._

"Okay, so she talks a lot about how much she loved me. Talk is cheap."

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, I will not have you talking about her like that. She died for you, she died trying to save you."

"So she was Jesus effin' Christ, let's get her nominated for the sainthood," he mumbled angrily.

Esme smacked him across the face. "I have NEVER laid a hand on either one of my children, but you are desecrating the memory of your mother and my sister. You will not disrespect her like that."

Sobs tore through Esme. "I'm sorry, Edward. I really am. This can't be easy. It's just that you need to know the truth before you go see HIM."

"I'm sorry, Mom. I'm just so confused."

Esme's heart shattered when she saw the pain in his eyes; this was the look that Elizabeth had never wanted him to have, the pain she never wanted him to experience. She cupped his face in her hand, wiping her thumb across his wet cheek. "Of course you're going to be confused, sweetie. Perhaps we should have told you before now."

Edward sighed as he hugged her. "Perhaps I should have pulled my head out of my ass sooner and asked. Let's continue."

"It's getting late; maybe we should go to bed and pick it up tomorrow."

"No. I'm going to find HIM tomorrow. I need to get a feel for the mood of the situation before she died. I need to know before I see him. Continue, please."

* * *

_**Okay, so I preached at you, maybe made you sad, and now am leaving you with a quasi-cliffie. I'm a horrible, nasty, person. :)  
**_

_**I am now officially on vacation for the next 8 days. I will try to get the next chapter up before I go away in case I'm unable to get a wireless connection at my Mom's place. I'm also, hopefully, heading down to Tidnish, so I will soak it all in for you while i'm there. The weather isn't looking good by any means, but that won't stop me from going down. So, be prepared that my usual Wednesday update may not happen. But don't worry, I'll have lots of writing time while i'm on vacay, so I should have lots of updates when I get back.**_

_**Oh yeah...i'm about to break 500 reviews, which is MAJOR since I figured i might get a dozen or so, AND I just broke the 100,000 word mark. Hello, long-winded much?  
**_


	23. Ch 23 First Contact

_**Well, we made it past 500 reviews! I can't even believe it. Karlaknight21 was the 500**__**th**__** review—thanks so much for that! So many milestones in such a short period of time. I started writing **_**Road Maps**_** on May 22, the day before I posted the last chapter of **_**Branded**_**. I've written over 100,000 words in a month...that's two and a half hardcover black notebooks, 15+ pens, probably 65-80 hours, thousands of Dark Chocolate M&Ms, gallons of Diet Pepsi, and many sleepless nights.**_

_**And you know what? It was worth it. YOU make it worth it. **_

_**I wanted to give individual shout-outs to my cheering squad, but it would take up too much space and I'd end up missing someone and hurting someone's feelings. I think you're all wonderful and it's been so great getting to know so many of you. I really can't thank you enough for sticking with me, for putting up with this epic tale. **_

_**So, although SM owns Twilight, I don't mind so much because I have you guys, and that's enough for me.**_

When we last left them, Edward was having a breakdown, dealing with a lot of emotion, trying to understand the how and the why of his mother's decisions.

* * *

"I can tell you right now that the next dozen or so entries are about her moving you two back to Seattle with Ed, and a lot of delusional _things are perfect for our perfect little family_ nonsense. Do you want to hear it?" Esme said, bitterly.

"No, I need to hear when things went bad."

"Okay."

_August 26_

_My dearest Edward,_

_Just when I thought I could finally stop apologizing, here I am, seeking mea culpa again. Please forgive me for what happened today. I should have prevented it._

_You've had a fever for the past couple of day, I'm not sure if you're teething or just not feeling well. You've been crying a lot too, nothing seems to placate you. Your father came home with a headache and hearing your cries made him snap._

_I tried to stop him, I did. He knocked me over, grabbed, and shook you until you finally stopped crying. I was so afraid he'd hurt you, because you went limp before he dropped you into my arms. I rocked you until you opened your beautiful green eyes. You reached up to touch my bloodied lip and said, _"Mama owie. Dada bad." _My heart broke at that moment. You are so young and yet you understand more than we give you credit for knowing. I only hope you won't remember these times and that they won't follow you through the rest of your life. It is a terrible burden for such a tender soul to carry._

_Your eyes filled with tears as you touched my lip, and you cried silently. I don't know if you were afraid he'd come back to hurt you again for crying or not. All I do know is that I was grateful for that, not to mention I was still afraid he'd hurt you and that he'd come back and finish it off._

_Once I realized you were okay, I confronted him. I marched right up to him and said that he was never to fucking touch you again. If he felt the need to shake someone, he could shake me. It felt so good to scream at him. I think he may have been afraid of me for a brief moment. I ran up one side of him, and back down the other, telling him that he was never to lay another finger on you again, even if it was to change a diaper, which, by the way, he has never done in the fifteen months since your birth._

_This will be a turning point for us, I can feel it. We're going to get out of here. I just need to find the money. We can't keep running back to Auntie Esme, she's still so angry with me and I need to do this on my own. I'm tired of mooching and being dependent._

_I'll figure something out, angel, I'll get a divorce and we'll disappear._

_What was I thinking when I married him? It was so wrong, so fast. Esme should have been there: supporting me or trying to show me the error of my ways. I know I screwed things up with Esme. It's no wonder she didn't want to be there._

_Edward, my angel, I'm sorry Daddy hurt you again, but trust me when I say that it'll happen again over my dead body._

"She stood up to him?" Edward asked, his voice barely a whisper.

"Yes, sweetheart, she did. That seemed to be the turning point. In the entries that follow, she mentions standing up to him more and more. Unfortunately, I think this newfound strength led to her death. The beatings got worse every time she spoke up."

Edward sighed. "Keep going, please."

_October 16_

_My dearest Edward,_

_We are one step closer to getting out of here. I've taken a job transcribing medical records from home. Your Daddy doesn't need to know and I don't need a babysitter. You're so happy to sit and play with your toy piano that I barely notice you're here. How I ended up with such a sweet, wonderful little boy, I'll never know, but I am thankful for you every day. _

_The money I'm making with this job will get us out of here soon, I promise. With each record I type, we're one dollar closer to freedom._

_I know we should have left before, but I just can't bear the thought of asking Esme. We're speaking again, which makes me happy, but I'm still not going to burden her with our presence again. She's done so much, and she's got Alice and Carlisle to care for—she doesn't need us._

_Should anything ever happen to me, though, you will go and live with your Auntie Esme. I hope it never comes to that, but at least you'll have someplace to go where you'll always be safe and loved. _

_I am hopeful that we will be out of here by Christmas, the end of January at the latest, although earlier would be better. Your Daddy is getting angry with me more often, and his hits are hurting more. I think he broke my nose the other night, but that's okay, he had wanted to hit you after you spilled your milk, and I was not going to let that happen._

_I don't know why I am writing to you about such horrible things, I hope you never read these words. Sometimes it feels better to write it out, rather than keep it all inside. It might also help in case something does happen._

_Sweetheart, I love you and I'm doing everything I can to get us out of this mess I got us into. You are the only bright spot in my this disastrous relationship. You are my lifeboat, baby boy, I'm just sorry you had to get involved._

_Oh, crap, Daddy's home. I have to go. I love you!_

"I wish I had known more so I could have stepped in," Esme said, sadly. "If I could have stopped being being so preoccupied with being angry and hurt, and could have seen past it all to see the signs, I could have stopped this, it never would have happened."

For the first time in a long time, Bella spoke up.

"You can't fix what you don't know is broken. Talk to Emmett about that," she said, "he had no idea what was going on when James was hurting me and it happened under his nose. Elizabeth and Edward were in Seattle. How could you have known?"

Esme smiled wanly. "I can't help but feel guilty, dear."

"Maybe you should talk to Victoria," Bella teased. "But seriously, I can understand what she was thinking, why she reacted the way she did. Fear and brainwashing are mighty powerful motivators."

"Maybe you're right, dear."

Bella hugged Edward, kissing the top of his head. "She loved you, Edward. I don't think there's any doubt of that."

"Mom," he said, voice laced with exhaustion, "please continue."

_November 12_

_My dearest Edward,_

_I am a fool. Your mother is a downright foolish piece of shit for ever thinking she could do anything right, well, except give birth to you._

_Your Daddy found out I was working from home and he took all of our escape money. I don't know what to do! He's drinking more than ever, he's forcing himself on me almost daily and the beatings are getting worse. _

_What do I do, Edward? I wish you had the answer. I mean, we could walk away, but where would we go? We have absolutely no money. I suppose we could try to find a shelter, but what kind of life is that for a toddler?_

_I'm so sorry that I keep messing things up. By the time we get out of here, if we do, you're going to hate me. You'll be ashamed of the failure I've become._

_I want you to know that I used to be someone. I wasn't always the battered wife. I had dreams, I had passions, I had ambition. All my life I wanted to be a dancer, that's all, I just wanted to be on a stage doing pirouettes, grand jetés, leaps, bounds, pas de deux. Then I met your father, who swept me off my feet at a dance one night. He was the brooding musician, the broken soul I felt compelled to fix. Instead of fixing him, I got broken along the way. He sucked the very marrow out of any joy I had; he planted seeds of doubt, telling me I was too fat, too clumsy, to amateurish._

_It's my own fault. Esme tried to warn me, but being as stubborn as I am, I didn't listen to her, and here we are, trapped._

_You are the best thing that ever happened to me, Edward. You are the only reason I keep going; if it wasn't for you, I would have given up a long time ago._

_I'm going to figure this out, my sweet angel. You didn't ask for this life and it's not the one I wanted for you. I will make this right, one way or another._

_December 12_

_My dearest Edward,_

_We're getting out tomorrow. I would take you and run now, but your father won't leave long enough for us to go._

_I found bruises on you today. I don't know if he put them there or you took a tumble, but I'm not waiting around to find out._

_My Christmas present to you is safety and a new life. The plan is for us to leave as soon as your Daddy leaves for work, if that's even where he goes when he leaves every day. We have to be careful because if he catches us again, I'm scared that he'll hurt you to get back at me._

_In case something goes wrong, I want you to know that I love you with all my heart and I'm sorry about everything. I hope that you'll be able to forgive me and maybe find a way to love me someday._

_You're my heart, sweet, Edward. I'll always be with you._

"It's as if she knew all along that he was going to catch her, I mean, us," Edward said, sitting up. "It was a suicide mission."

"Maybe. We'll never know," Esme replied as she wiped a tear from her eye.

"She knew that if anything happened to her that I'd be moving in with you."

"Perhaps."

"She planned the whole thing and that fucker helped bring it to fruition."

"Don't jump to conclusions, son. We'll never know the truth, so there's no use in torturing yourself looking for unattainable answers."

Bella squeezed his hand. "Are you okay?"

He nodded. "I'm exhausted, and Bella, you must be ready to drop."

Esme made to get up. Edward stopped her. "Can you stay here with us? Bella, would you mind if Mom stayed?"

"Not at all. If you'll excuse me, Peanut has been flutterkicking my bladder for the past half hour." She got up and walked into the bathroom.

Esme turned to Edward. "Are you really okay?"

"Yeah, I think so. It's a lot to digest. I'm still pissed off, although now I don't know who at: her or him. I need to sleep on it. Oh God, I hope I don't have nightmares all night. I need to be functional tomorrow if I'm going to confront him."

"I'm going to go put on my pjs and get ready for bed. Why don't I grab a sleeping pill for you."

"Please, that would be great."

The three of them slept tangled together in a semi-dreamless coma. Everyone was so exhausted that their brains were barely able to sustain the necessities of life, let alone the torment of nightmares.

Bella woke first, her bladder begging for release. She quietly and very gently extricated herself from the limbs of her husband and snuck off to relieve herself. As she washed her hands afterward, she couldn't help but notice how awful she looked. There were dark circles under her puffy eyes, her face was splotchy and dry, and her hair was a rat's nest. The events of the past 24 hours had not been kind to any of them.

A shower was in order, so she turned on the water, although not as hot as she used to like it, stripped down, and got in. The streams of water felt divine on her skin and for the first time since they'd left the cottage, she felt her muscles relax.

Strong hands wrapped around her waist, drawing her back to reality. A nose nuzzled her neck, then ran along the line of her jaw.

"Morning," she said, turning around to look at Edward. Her eyes widened at the sight of him. His face was so swollen, his eyes so dark, it looked like he'd gone ten rounds with Mike Tyson and Evander Holyfield. She ran her fingers over his face and frowned.

"Am I that hideous?" he asked.

"Never," she replied, standing on tiptoes to kiss him. She fisted her hands in his hair, pulling him closer.

Edward sighed as he ran his hands up her wet sides. She flinched when he reached her swollen breasts.

"Ow," she muttered. "Too sore today. I'm sorry."

"Don't be, it's all part of being pregnant. It's not too uncomfortable is it?"

"Nothing I can't handle. Now come here and let me wash your hair."

He grinned at her. "Only if you'll let me wash yours."

Bella and Edward joined their parents at the breakfast bar after their shower.

"Good morning, kids," Carlisle said, looking up from his newspaper.

"Morning," they replied in unison as they gave them each a kiss on the cheek.

"So, what's the plan?" Carlisle asked.

"Nothing like jumping right in there, eh, Dad?" Edward said, chuckling. "First, I'd like to have a coffee and wake up my poor addled brain. I thought I'd wing it from there."

"Sorry, it's just that I have to go in to the hospital for a while and wanted to have an idea of how you'd like to proceed."

"Well, I figured I'd go pay him a visit. You do have his address, right?"

Esme sighed, upset. "Yes, but I wish you'd meet him someplace else, someplace public."

"I don't want to start yelling at him in the middle of a coffeeshop."

"What if something happens? How will we know?"

"We're jumping ahead of ourselves. Fine, I'll meet him in public, I just have to find his phone number to set a time."

"Here," Carlisle said, handing him a card, "you can reach him here. Please let one of us go with you."

"Do you think he'll talk to me if you or Esme are sitting in a corner glaring at him?"

"No, I guess not."

"I'll come." Bella volunteered quietly. "He doesn't know me; I could blend in, no problem."

Carlisle thought about it. "You're both right."

Edward slammed his fist on the counter. "No, Bella stays here."

"Why?" she argued.

"What if...?"

"What if what? What if he hurts me? He won't get the chance. What if he hurts you? I'll be able to get help."

"No, love, I can't ask you to do it," Edward said, his eyes imploring her to recant her offer.

"You can't stop me. I'm going and that's final. I will sit as far away as possible. Neither of you will even know I'm there."

"Fine," Edward said, raking his hands through his hair as he gave in to her. He stood up, paced a little, fingering the card with the phone number that could make or break him. He hoped desperately that this would be the end of his torment.

He walked into the living room and dialled the number with shaking hands.

"Hello?"

"Edward Masen?" Edward asked, nervously.

"Yes, who is this?"

"My name is Edward Anthony Masen CULLEN," he put extra emphasis on his adopted surname, "and we need to talk."

"Edward? My God, son..."

"Stop right there, Mr. Masen. I am not your son. I may share your DNA but you are not my father. Look, I want to do this about as much as I want to have my wisdom teeth pulled without freezing by a tong-wielding maniac who looks crazier than an old man eating a box of hair...oh, fuck, I'm rambling. Look, I need to meet with you. Are you available today?"

"Yes, of course. Did you want to come by my pl..."

Edward cut him off tersely. "We meet in public or not at all."

"Oh, okay, how about we meet at the Starbucks on 3rd Street in Port Angeles?"

"That would be fine. Does three o'clock work for you?"

"Yes. I will see you then. Thank you, son."

Edward was seething. "AGAIN, I AM NOT YOUR SON and don't thank me, I'm not doing this for you."

Before Ed Sr. could say anything else, Edward hung up. He walked back into the kitchen, staring at the phone.

"So?" Esme asked.

Walking to Bella, he wrapped his arms around her for a hug. He just needed a second to process what had just happened.

"We're meeting at Starbucks on 3rd Street at three."

Bella rubbed soothing circles on his back. "How did it go?"

Edward shook his head. "He called me son. Twice."

"Oh, baby, what did you say?"

"I told him that I may be connected to him by DNA, but that he was not my father and I am not his son. Oooh, it pissed me off. How dare he call me that?"

He pulled away from Bella, walked out onto the deck, threw his head back and yelled.

"FUCK!"

Esme moved toward him, but both Bella and Carlisle held her back.

"Let him get it out of his system now so he doesn't explode later," Bella said, quietly.

Edward paced back and forth on the deck yelling profanities. Finally, he stopped, straightened out his rumpled clothing, and returned to his seat beside Bella.

Putting her hand over his and lacing their fingers together, she then asked quietly. "Better now?"

He nodded, took a drink of coffee, and smiled at her. "Much."

Carlisle kissed Esme, then planted a quick kiss atop Bella and Edward's heads. "I'll have my phone with me at all times today. Please call if you need me. I'll be back for dinner."

Turning to Edward, he said, "Be safe, son."

"I will, Dad."

* * *

_**Sorry for the shorter chapter and for leaving you hanging. The next chapter will be the close encounter of the Edwards kind.**_

_**Admommy28 introduced me to a song that she said reminded her of what happened with Edward and his mother. It's called Save Him by Justin Nozuka. I was so moved when I heard it, it really did remind me of Edward and Elizabeth's situation, although I think Edward would have been better off had his story ended the same way this song does. I highly suggest you check it out. **_

She loves him more  
He loves her more,  
Seems like they won't ever let each other go,  
Laughing and kissing it's a match made in heaven  
Behind the rings on their fingers  
Imprints the ink deep in the inner  
That has stained their souls together now  
Stained soul mates forever now  
Seems like they've made it to the other side where the grass is greener  
And the sky is always blue  
And it goes on forever and ever but there is only room for two  
Deep at night I'm awakened from my dreams,  
Next door, yelling cries mercy she is begging please  
"Don't end my life you're all I need and darling I will never leave"  
And then she prayed on her knees, she said

"Save him, save him from the hand he that beats me on"

Dark clouds cover her paradise,  
She covers her eyes and hides behind enemy lines,  
And she walks through the night with her child in her arms  
She's thrown back hostage'd  
See twenty years ago when she was just ten years old  
Lost in imagination she was left alone  
And pops had nothing to let his anger on oh he beat her cold  
She used to pray on her knees, she said

"Save him, save him from the hand he that beats me on"

Deep at night I'm awakened from my dreams,  
Next door - yelling cries mercy she's begging please,-  
"Get up, get up", he brings her to her feet,  
And smacks her down till she falls to the ground  
And over and over again,  
He brings her to her feet till she can no longer stand -  
And still the beating never ends  
On and on and on it goes  
Until he brings out a gun  
And says to her "stop crying and bring me my son"  
She cries harder and harder  
He cries harder and harder  
She says "baby please don't do this"  
Two shots to her chest  
And a blow to his own head  
She quickly loses breath and blood rushes to their bed and baby cries his eyes out

"Save him, save him from the hand he that beats me on"

She loves him more  
He loves her more,  
Seems like they won't ever let each other go,  
Laughing and kissing it's a match made in heaven


	24. Ch 24 The Sperm Donor

_**Okay, so here it is. Edward meets his father. There has been a fair amount of anticipation for this chapter, and frankly, I don't know if anyone will like the direction it takes. I have tried several different approaches over the past 24 hours and this is the path they keep taking. So, this is how they want it to be. I can't fight with them.**_

_**I'm really sorry about the cliffie last time. I know you don't like them, I know that I hate them, cliffies are ebil.**_

_**This chapter is shorter than usual. I was going to try to drag it out, but there's no point. This story is long enough as it is, and prolonging Edward's agony of dealing with his past is not fun for anyone, especially me.  
**_

_**Stephenie Meyer owns the splendiferous world of Twilight. I own a craptacular television that shocks me every time I touch it.

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**_

When we last left them Edward was getting ready to go meet his biological father, and Bella was tagging along.

Bella tried to calm Edward down as they sat in Esme's Audi outside the Starbucks. His legs were bouncing and his fingers were drumming on his thighs nervously when they weren't tearing his hair out.

"Breathe, Edward."

He turned to her, his face pale, his eyes radiating fear. She took his hand in hers.

"We need to go in before he gets here so he doesn't see me."

Edward exhaled a ragged breath. "Maybe this is wrong. Maybe I shouldn't do this. What if this is a huge mistake?"

"Baby, you can back out if you like, but you're here now. Go say your piece and be done with him. I won't be far."

He nodded before leaning over to give her a kiss. "I love you, Bella."

"I love you more. Now let's go. I'll go in first, you come in after."

Bella got out and walked into the coffee shop. She looked around briefly, then went to the counter where she ordered a biscotti and a bottle of water. Scoping out the other patrons and their seating arrangement, she chose a corner table away from the majority of the crowd, but still a good vantage point to the rest of the shop.

It amazed Bella that even after all of these years, watching her husband walk into a room still left her breathless. She melted when he nodded discretely at her. She watched as all eyes in the shop turned to watch him as he walked to the counter to order his coffee. Bella seethed as she watched the barista blatantly hitting on him. He was hers and she wanted nothing more than to mark him in front of...

_Holy shit...is that Ed Sr.?_

A devastatingly handsome man in his forties, with greying light brown hair and blue-green eyes walked in and smiled when he spotted Edward. He approached the table where Edward was seated and extended his hand. Although Edward stood up politely, he declined the handshake with a sombre nod of his head.

Ed Sr. ordered a drink, then took his seat across from the pale and shaky-looking son he'd abandoned twenty years before.

"Hello, son...I mean, Edward."

Edward looked up from his coffee long enough to scowl at his father. "Please refrain from calling me son. You gave up that right the night you killed my mother."

Ed Sr. raised his hands in mock surrender. "Gotcha. I won't call you son. Wow, this is starting off just great."

"What did you expect? Did you think I would throw myself into your arms crying? Did you think I'd be happy to see you?" Edward raised his voice with each question.

"I didn't know what to expect."

"What do you want, Mr. Masen?"

The elder Edward's head snapped up. "Cut the formalities, kid. I don't know what I expected or why I even bothered to contact you. Obviously, you don't want to hear my side of things. Fuck, Edward, I just wanted to see you, to make sure that you had a good life."

Edward's face turned red. "Why do you care so much now? To be honest, I don't want to hear your side of things, SIR, I know what happened. You killed my mother and you almost killed me twice that we know of. What I want to know is why?"

"Why what?"

A betraying tear tracked down Edward's face. "Why did you hate us so much? What did we do to invoke such horrible things? Why couldn't you just let us leave?"

"Shit, kid, that's a whole lot of whys. I guess the answer that best suits most of your questions is that I was an alcoholic and I am bipolar."

"A likely excuse," Edward mumbled as he spun his coffee cup in a puddle on the table.

"I don't know what else to say, kid."

"Did you ever love us?"

Ed Sr. sighed sadly. "I loved your mother more than anything. I remember the first time I saw her; she was dancing with her sister and she stole my breath and my heart in that first instant. She was incredibly beautiful, with her long, bronze hair and those piercing green eyes. She turned heads when she walked into the room and it wasn't just because she was so pretty, it was because everyone knew she was someone special. I knew she had to be mine, but she was so perfect I feared she'd see me for the loser I was and laugh in my face. But she didn't.

"She danced over to me, flashed those green eyes at me, took my hand, and dragged me out on the dance floor. I knew right then and there that she would irrevocably change my life.

"You see, Edward, I didn't have a very good upbringing."

Edward rolled his eyes. "Here we go."

"What do you mean by that?" Ed Sr.'s eyes squinted angrily as he stared at his offspring, rage beginning to well up inside. This kid, his child, was the spitting image of his mother and having Elizabeth's eyes staring at him was causing him to feel twitchy. He hadn't looked into those eyes since the day she stared lifelessly at him from the living room floor. It was bringing back a flood of memories he wasn't sure he could handle.

"You're going to blame this on a miserable upbringing, alcoholism, and mental illness. Classic."

He hissed spitefully at his son. "Just shut the fuck up for two seconds, would you?"

"Or what? You're going to hit me? Shake me? Kill me?"

"Forget it. I didn't come here to be berated by a sarcastic, petulant, spoiled brat.' He stood up to leave.

"Wait," Edward said, reluctantly. "I'm sorry. Please continue."

Ed Sr. paused, exhaled loudly, and then sat back down. "This isn't easy for me, Edward."

"It's no walk in the park for me, either. Now, please continue."

"I grew up in a household much like the one you did for your first two years. My father was an alcoholic, and he beat my mother as well as my sisters and me. We lived in squalor and constant fear of his wrath.

"Eventually we were removed from the home and put in foster care. My mother killed herself soon after we were taken, my father drank himself to death, and my sisters and I spent years being abused in the system.

"I know it's no excuse for the way I treated your mother, I'm not trying to justify it. What I'm getting at is that I never knew love until I met you mother and I didn't know how to love her in return. I had never experienced real love, I was afraid of it. The people in my life who supposedly loved me, hit me. I didn't get hugs, I got strapped."

"I...you...you've lost me."

"No, you wouldn't understand, Edward, because you never spent one day when someone wasn't loving you. There has never been a moment when you ever had to doubt that someone cared about what happened to you. I never had that until I met Elizabeth. She loved me, as broken as I was, no questions asked. It was unconditional and it was constant.

"I never understood why or how she could love me. I had never been worthy of it before, so why now and why her?"

"If she was anything like Esme..."

Ed Sr. shuddered. "Esme," he said, voice dripping with bitter contempt, "she tried to keep us apart, tried to destroy us."

"Esme raised me after you killed my fucking mother. You will not speak ill of her."

"Whatever," he replied, "I see she's poisoned you against me the way she did Elizabeth. Some things never change."

"Enough." Edward sighed, then shook his head. This was making no sense at all. Maybe this had been a mistake. _God,_ he thought, _I'm so tired of maybes. I need answers._

"Kid, I need a cigarette. Would you mind moving this outside?"

Looking over at Bella, Edward nodded. "Sure. You go ahead; I need to run to the washroom. I'll meet you out there."

"I'll be out by that Ford Focus, the blue one."

Edward watched him walk out. He got up and motioned for Bella to follow him to the washrooms.

"What's going on?" she asked, nervously.

"I'm going to talk outside. I don't want you to worry. Why don't you go sit in the car; at least then you can still watch."

"Are you sure?"

He leaned down and kissed her. "No, but I don't have much of a choice. I love you, Bella."

"I love you, Edward."

"I'll go out first. You should wait a few minutes before you follow. Maybe give Esme a quick call; she's probably worried sick."

"Okay, be safe, love."

"Always."

Edward found his father leaning against a beat up Ford Focus.

"It's no Audi, but it'll do. Let me guess, the Audi over there is yours."

The implied malice and disgust behind those words grated on Edward's last nerve. "No, SIR, it's not MINE."

He wasn't really lying because it wasn't his car, it belonged to Esme. He tried to divert the conversation away from it. "

"So why exactly did you start hitting my mother?"

Ed Sr. choked on the smoke in his lungs. "Nothing like coming right out with guns blazing, there, kid. Wow, how do I answer this? Shit, kiddo, I can't. A lot of pent-up anger? Booze? Jealousy? A plethora of ridiculous reasons. I think the biggest reason was that I didn't want her to leave."

"You didn't want her to leave so you beat her? Used fear as motivation? What kind of life is that for a person to live? You should understand it better than anyone."

"I lived in fear almost every day of my life, you little shithead. It was the only way I could think of to keep her from leaving. It's not like I wanted to do it, it's not like I premeditated it."

"Did you premeditate the rapes?"

Bella walked out just in time to see Ed Sr. punch Edward in the face, before yelling at him.

"HOW DARE YOU, YOU SNOT-NOSED BRAT! How dare you accuse me of something so fucking heinous. I loved your mother, Edward. I would never ra...God, I can't even say the word."

Edward held his head high and stood his ground even though he was bleeding from a cut near his eye.

"I read her journals. I know everything," he replied calmly. "I know you threw her down the stairs when she was pregnant and almost killed me. I know you shook me until I passed out when I was a baby. I know you raped her on a near daily basis.

"More importantly, I know you are a monster. I just needed to see it for myself."

His father punched him again. He felt his nose crack and blood rushing down his face.

"Did you ever love me, DADDY? Did you ever love me?" Edward asked.

Ed Sr. punched him again. Edward saw stars, but remained stoic.

Bella ran toward them screaming. "STOP IT!"

Edward turned to tell Bella to stay back and was blindsided by a punch to the head. He went down like a ton of lead. Bella ran at Ed Sr. screaming.

"HOW COULD YOU! LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE! HAVEN'T YOU DONE ENOUGH TO HIM ALREADY!"

She knelt beside her dazed husband, trying to help him up when she suddenly felt a sharp pain in her head before everything went dark.

* * *

"Bella?"

Bright lights prevented Bella from seeing who was speaking to her, but she knew the voice. "Edward?"

"Yes, love?"

"Too bright."

"Hang on." She heard him click something, and the bright light pouring through her closed eyelids dimmed considerably. "Is that better?"

She opened her eyes slowly. "Mm...yeah, it is. Oh my God! Your face! What happened? Where are we?"

"We're at the hospital."

"Why?"

"My matricidal sperm donor just proved that he hasn't changed a bit."

"Why am I here?"

Edward gently smoothed back some hair from her face, tucking it behind her ears. "He kicked you in the head."

"Oh, that would explain the headache," she said, wincing. Suddenly she sat upright. "PEANUT!"

"Peanut is fine, love," Edward said as he rubbed her belly.

Bella flopped back on the bed, dizziness and nausea overtaking her. "Are you sure?"

"He didn't touch the baby, love. I was awake enough to know that much. He ran off after he kicked you."

"What happened to set him off? Why did he get so violent?"

Edward went to pinch the bridge of his nose and winced at the pain that shot through his face. He moved his fingers to pull at his hair. "I'm afraid my anger must have triggered it. I might have been acting a little, uh, hostile. But at least now I know."

"Know what?"

"I know that he hasn't changed after all these years, that I never want to see him again, and that he never loved me."

"What if he finds us?"

"I don't think that assault will bode well with his parole officer. I have a feeling he'll be back behind bars soon."

"Where did he go?"

"I don't know. Hopefully they catch him soon."

"Where are Carlisle and Esme? They must be freaking out, I mean, this is what they were worried would happen."

"Dad was just finishing up at the hospital and was going to pick up Mom before coming here. Neither of us is in any shape to drive back, and we can't very well leave Esme's car here. They should be here soon."

"Where are we?"

He looked at her worried. "We're at the hospital, love. I just told you that."

"I know that, but which hospital?"

"Oh, phew, thank God. I thought you'd lost your short term memory. We're still in Port Angeles."

Bella groaned. "I don't feel so good, Edward. Can you grab the bedpan? I think I'm going to be sick."

He grabbed the closest receptacle and held it for her while she threw up. "Better?" he asked, as he wiped her mouth and kissed her forehead.

"If the room would stop spinning then I'd be perfect."

Curling up beside her in the bed, he gathered her into his arms. "Rest up, love. Close your eyes and sleep until they release us."

"Mm...okay."

Carlisle and Esme arrived an hour later. Esme took one look at them in the bed and started to cry.

"I told you it was a bad idea!"

"Mom," Edward said, hugging her. "We're okay."

"No, no you're not! You've got stitches and bruises all over your beautiful face, and Bella, how did this happen to you? I thought you were just going to sit back in the shadows!"

"I saw Edward go down. I panicked."

Esme put her hand on Bella's cheek. "Are you okay?"

"Just a little dizzy, that's all. I'll be okay."

"Bella's got a concussion. The bastard kicked her in the head."

"Oh, sweetheart, what were you thinking? What if he'd kicked your abdomen? What if he'd hurt the baby?"

Bella began to cry. "I wasn't thinking. Oh God, what if..."

"Love, everything is fine. There's no need to worry about the _what if_. Now let's get out of here."

* * *

Edward couldn't help but wonder if that was the last time he'd see his father. As he hugged his parents goodbye before he and Bella boarded the plane, he couldn't help but feel like he was being watched.

Regardless, he was finally going home. These past two weeks had felt like an eternity. He was finally going back to work, Bella would start her new job in earnest, Emmett and Rosalie would come over for barbeques, the girls would compare stretch marks, sonograms and put together nurseries and life would go back to normal, at least until the baby came.

At least he hoped so.

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_**Well, there it is. I hope you're not disappointed by it. Drop me a line and let me have it; the good, the bad, and the ugly.  
**_

_**I wanted to give y'all a heads up that I might not make my usual Wednesday update this week. I mean, I just posted three chapters in as many days, so I might take a little break while i'm on vacation, and do some reading instead of writing. :)**_

_**Oh, and while we're at it, could someone please send me some sunshine? Just one day's worth--I'm not asking for much.  
**_


	25. Ch 25 Don't Worry Be Happy

_**So, I know this is **_**Road Maps**_**, but I'm going to shamelessly pimp out **_**Branded**_** for a minute. Thanks to you lovelies it has been nominated for TWO Indie Twific Awards: Best Alternate Universe-Human and Most Original Storyline. Voting starts on July 7th. I'd really appreciate it if you could throw a vote or two my way. :) Tell your friends too! To vote you can go to **_www dot theindietwificawards dot com/vote dot aspx_** (remember to replace the word dot for an actual dot). Again, voting opens July 7th and runs until July 12th (which is the day after my birthday!)**_

_**Another item...I posted an outtake for this story. It's Ed Sr.'s perspective of things. I know a lot of you hate him (most of you do) and it might be hard to read something from his POV, but it's there if you want to read it. Just click over to my profile to find the link in my stories section.**_

_**Sorry for the delay in posting this chapter. Vacation has a way of making a person's brain turn to mush...or perhaps it's the lack of sunshine and all the rain we've had that's given me a serious case of wet brain.**_

_**Stephenie Meyer still owns Twilight, but I own a red nose from the thirty minutes of sunshine we had in Tidnish on Wednesday (HAPPY CANADA DAY!).**_

_**Happy 4th of July to my US friends.  
**_

We left Bella and Edward as they were returning to Hanover. This chapter begins a couple of months later. Bella's a whopping 6 months along, while Rose is in her 8th month. Enjoy!

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"Have you got the bag with the paint?" Bella called out to Edward.

"Yes, love."

"Have you got the brushes?"

Big sigh. "Yes, love."

"Are you annoyed with me yet?"

"No, love, never," he said, stooping to give her a kiss.

"Mm, that was nice. So, how nasty is this going to get when Alice finds out we did the room without her? Rosie and Emmett managed to elude her too; so she's going to be furious."

"She'll just have to have a baby of her own, won't she?" he said, smiling. "She's going to be even more pissed that we're using gender-neutral colours too."

Bella stood in the empty room they were converting to a nursery. She ran her hands over her now ballooning belly. "Yes, Peanut, this is your room. I swear some days it feels like I'm going to give birth to Jean Claude Van Damme's demon child. Somebody's very active today."

Edward kneeled down in front of her, placing his ear to her baby bump. "Hey, easy in there, Peanut. Give your mother a break, would you?"

She smacked his head lightly. "Hush, I don't mind it that much."

He smiled up at her, then kissed her belly. "Love you, Peanut."

"So, have we got everything?" Bella asked.

"Nope! You're missing two very important people and a baby that's about to burst out any day now," Emmett said, barging into the room, a very pregnant Rosalie in tow.

"Oh, Rose, you shouldn't be here," Bella said as she went to get a chair.

"No, no, I'm nesting like crazy and our home is spotless. I needed something to do. Point me in the direction of laundry in need of folding or something."

Emmett elbowed Edward. "She's driving me crazy. Cleaning, cooking, arts and crafts...dude, you are so up shit creek when Belly starts."

"Actually, I'm looking forward to it, as well as the gang at the hospital are counting the days until she starts baking hardcore."

"You're lucky your wife is an awesome cook," he whispered as he pointed to Rose. "That one over there, not so great."

"No? I always thought Rose was a good cook," he patted Emmett's stomach. "You don't seem to be suffering."

"She's," he whispered the next part, "experimenting."

"How so?"

He looked around nervously. "Her wild and wacky concoctions are, um, a little unorthodox and a whole lot of disgusting. I swear to God, pregnancy hormones totally mess with a woman's taste buds."

_Thwack_. A newspaper came down on his head. "I heard that, Emmett Swan! Now you best shut your pie hole before I do it with one of my, hmm, how did you put it? Oh yeah, _wild and wacky concoctions_."

"Sorry, babe, it's just that peanut butter and asparagus just doesn't mix. I'm sorry, I tried. I really did."

"Okay, I'll give you that; the peanut butter and asparagus roll-ups weren't one of my shining moments," Rosalie conceded.

Edward grimaced and gagged a little. "On that note, I daresay we get started. Em and I will put down the base coat if you ladies would paint the trim. It's all laid out in the studio."

Bella kissed him on the nose. "Have fun, but don't you two make too big of a mess."

He grinned at her. "Don't go getting any strange culinary ideas from Rosie, Mrs. Cullen."

"I heard that! Geez, I'm eight months pregnant, big as a fucking house and hormonal as hell, now is seriously not the time to be pissing me off, boys." Rose said, scowling.

She turned and offered an arm to Bella. "Let's leave these two to wallow in their crapulence. We have trim to paint."

"So, how's things going?" Emmett asked as he dipped his roller into the light green paint.

"Good. I'm really liking my new rotation at the hospital; I'm working in the paediatric ward. It's tough to see so many sick kids, but it's an awesome feeling when a kid you thought was going to die walks out of the place smiling. It's incredible how tough and resilient kids are."

"I don't know if I could handle it. At least you'll be able to fix our kids when they get sick."

Edward laughed. "I suppose you're right. How're things with Rose, beyond the bad cooking?"

Emmett looked around wildly. "Shh...she'll hear. I swear to God pregnancy unleashes a woman's super powers; she has supersonic hearing. She's good though. The baby is growing like crazy, she's nesting like Martha Stewart, and the doctor figures we've got about 5 weeks to go before she's ready to pop.

"How's being a dad make you feel?"

"Dude, you're hanging out with shrinks too much, all this _how does it make you feel_ shit. I'll tell you how I feel, I'm scared shitless, brother. I'm scared something's going to happen and I'm going to lose one or both of them and I'm scared I'm going to be a shitty dad. My track record with looking after people isn't the greatest, I mean, take a look at Bella..."

"What's wrong with Bella? She's a wonderful woman? If you say anything about what happened after your folks died, I'll dump a bucket of paint over your head. You dealt with it the only way you could so stop blaming yourself. I thought you left all that baggage behind years ago. Now, if I were you, I'd be more worried about the baby coming out cursing like a sailor. Between you and Rose..."

"Easy, Eddie."

Edward cringed. "Please, Em. Please don't call me Eddie."

"Sorry. You've been so sensitive about that since the wedding. What gives?"

"Nothing, Em."

"Dude, come on, you can tell me."

"If I tell you, will you promise to try extra hard not to call me by that name from now on?"

Emmett crossed his heart.

"And you'll promise not to call me a pansy?"

"Holy shit, Edward, do we have to go all girlie and pinky swear on this? As much as I don't want to hook pinkies with you, I will."

Big sigh. Pause. Deep breath. "My father used to call me Eddie."

"I've never heard Carlisle call you...oh, the sperm donor called you that. Gotcha. Consider Eddie stricken from my vocabulary. Oh, shit, I said it again, didn't I? Sorry."

Smiling, Edward clapped Emmett on the back. I'll let it go this time."

They painted in silence for a while, before Emmett cleared his throat.

"What, Em?" Edward asked, fearing the question to come. He had a feeling he knew what it was.

"So, uh, have you heard from him since you got back?"

"Thankfully, no, but he's not been incarcerated for the assault, so he's still out there. I'm trying to block it from my mind."

"I don't blame you; dude's messed up."

"Yeah, a lot more messed up than I originally thought. His parole officer told me that he's been diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic, which would explain, but never excuse, some of his behaviour."

"Got any beer?"

_God love Emmett, _Edward thought, _always knows when to change a subject, even if his segues are non-linear and nonsensical._

Edward went to the kitchen to grab a couple of cold ones and overheard Rosalie and Bella talking in the studio.

"I'm worried, Rosie," Bella said, putting down her paintbrush.

"Why so, Sweets?"

"We've been back from Forks for a couple of months now and I can't shake the feeling that Ed Sr. is going to find us."

"Oh, hush, Bella. You and Edward are two of the biggest worrywarts I've ever met. You're pregnant, Bells, stress isn't good for you or the baby."

"I know," she said quietly as she picked up her brush again. "My blood pressure was up at my last check-up."

Edward cringed in the kitchen. He gripped the edge of the counter. He was pissed; his father wasn't here and he was still causing trouble.

"So, now that you've got physical proof that you need to chill the hell out, what do you say we go for pregnant pampering tomorrow? A mani, pedi, full body massage, facial, the works."

"Sounds heavenly. Count me in. Oh, crap. I have a video conferencing meeting in the morning with Dr. Carmen and one of the survivors being profiled in the book. Can we do it in the afternoon?"

Rose smiled. "Any time is good for me, Sweets. Let me go grab my phone and make a couple of calls."

She walked into the kitchen to find Edward looking at her, pain etched on his face.

"Edward, what's wrong?"

"Can we talk later? Just us?"

"Sure, but seriously, what's wrong?"

"Later."

Emmett walked into the kitchen. "Where's the damn beer? You leave me hanging like that when I'm here doing you a favour? Way to go, Doucheward."

"Emmett Swan, don't you dare call my husband Doucheward! How would you like it is I started calling you Smegmett? Dickmett, perhaps? Assmett? Emjerk? Embarrassmett?"

"Easy, Belly, no harm, no foul. Hey, wife, what are you laughing at?"

Rosalie was doubled over, laughing so hard there were tears were streaming down her face. "Sweet Jebus, Bella, that was funny shit!"

Suddenly, the smile dropped off Rosalie's face. She grabbed Bella and dragged her out of the room.

"Bells, I just pissed my fucking pants. Just another one of the joys of being über-pregnant. Can I borrow some clothes?"

"Of course, Rose. Come on upstairs."

Emmett stomped out of the kitchen. "What's wrong? Did you lose your mucous plug, babe?"

"Mucous plug?" Bella asked.

"He's been reading up on pregnancy, ignore him."

Mucous plug?" Edward asked.

"Yeah, I've been reading up on all this pregnancy shit. It's pretty cool in a gross kind of way."

Edward chuckled as he took a drink of his beer.

"Rosie, babe, did you piss your pants again?"

"Yes, Em, I did. Did you want to tell the whole neighbourhood? Oh, and Edward, laugh all you want because Bella'll be having accidents soon enough."

He stopped laughing. Emmett patted him on the back. "Oh yeah, little brother. You have SO much to look forward to. Come with me, let's paint and talk."

* * *

"Bella?" Edward said, snuggling into her side.

"Yes, love?"

"Why are you stressing out about my father?"

She stiffened slightly. "I'm not."

"Please don't lie to me. I overheard you talking to Rose."

Bella sighed before rolling over to face him. She grunted a little as she tried to get comfortable. "Ugh, can we switch sides? It's too hard to get comfortable on my right side. I want to see you when we talk."

He crawled over her to the other side and positioned himself so they were eye to eye. Bella put one of his hands on her belly while she put hers on his face.

"Yes, I'm a little worried about your father showing up."

"Is this what's causing your high blood pressure?"

"I'm sure it's a contributing factor, but don't let it worry you too. I'm just being overprotective of Peanut."

"Why don't we both promise to try to not think about it. We need more fun in our lives."

"Okay, sounds good. Oh, by the way, we're hosting Rose's baby shower here next weekend. Alice is coming up next Wednesday to help with the preparations."

He kissed her. Just think, in a couple of months she'll be throwing a shower for you."

"I know. I think I might disappear," she replied, cringing.

Edward laughed. "It never ceases to amaze me that you can speak in front of hundreds of people about your darkest days, but being at the centre of a celebration in your honour with close family and friends is torture. You are truly puzzling, Mrs. Cullen."

"And you are truly sexy, Dr. Cullen."

Bella leaned in and kissed him gently at first, her hands roaming his face, then his neck, shoulder, his ribs.

"Mm, Bella," Edward said between kisses. "What're you doing?"

"Seducing you," her hand snaked around and grabbed his ass, pulling him closer to her.

"Oh, well, two can play at that game." He ran his hand down above the back of her knee, hitching it up over his hip.

Bella gasped before letting out a scream.

"What is it?" Edward asked, panicking.

"OW! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!"

Edward sat up and looked at her. Her leg was cramped at a weird angle, her foot contorted and curled up. "Leg cramp?"

"YES! Make it stop! Please!"

He moved down and gently massaged her leg, humming as he tried to stretch it out and ease the pain.

"OW! EDWARD!" Bella cried, tears streaming down her face. "Please!"

"Calm down, love. I'll fix it."

After another minute of agonizing pain, the muscle finally loosened and she was able to straighten it out again.

"Thank you," she panted. "I'm sorry, that attempt at seducing you had less-than-sexy results."

He kissed her gently. "It's okay, love. I'm just glad you're okay."

"Dr. Dimitri mentioned it might happen."

Edward lay down beside her and rested his head on her belly, which seemed to be getting bigger every day. "Hi, Peanut, it's Daddy."

"Ooh, Peanut liked that. Could you feel it?"

"No. Man, I can't wait until I can feel the baby kicking all the time. I feel like I'm missing out."

"Shouldn't be long now," Bella assured him as she ran her fingers through his unruly hair.

"Hello...lo...lo..." he called into her ever protruding navel. "Can you hear me? Me? Me?"

"You silly wingnut."

Edward began to sing.

_You are my sunshine, my only sunshine_

_You make me happy, when skies are grey_

_You'll never know, dear, how much I love you_

_Please don't take my sunshine away_

Peanut gave him a swift kick to the eye.

"Ow! I felt it that time!"

Bella laughed.

Edward sat up and leaned onto the headboard. Bella scooted up to lay her head on his chest.

"Any more thoughts on names?" he asked, twirling her hair around his fingers.

"I don't want to finalize anything until we meet Peanut. He or she will let us know exactly what their name is."

"And, have you picked out any contenders?"

"Well, for a boy I was thinking about Nathan, Caleb, Joshua, or Gabriel. For a girl, I thought about Carlee, Vanessa, Elizabeth, or Lily."

"Elizabeth? Like my mom?"

"Yes. If her first name isn't Elizabeth, then I'm pretty sure I want to use it as her middle name, if that's okay."

"Of course, I'm sure she would be honoured."

"But I'm not cementing anything until I meet Peanut. What if it's a boy and we pick the name Caleb before he's born and he comes out looking like a Stanley? I don't want to pigeonhole the baby. He or she will tell us his or her name when they are ready. At this moment I'm thinking Elvis might be appropriate."

"Why Elvis?"

"Because there's a whole lotta shakin' goin' on in there right now."

Edward rubbed her belly, trying to slow the movements. Bella switched positions and it seemed to help.

"Ahh, much better," Bella said, stifling a yawn.

"Get some sleep, love. You've got a busy day tomorrow."

"Thanks. Good night."

"Sweet dreams."

* * *

Bella was more than ready to meet Rosalie at the spa. Her video conference in the morning was long and Peanut was being more than uncooperative. She was uncomfortable and was running to the bathroom constantly.

What she didn't know was that there was another conference of sorts going on while she was attending to her own. Edward was over at Rose's.

"What's on your mind, Edward?"

Edward pulled at his bangs nervously. "I'm worried about Bella."

"Duh, you're always worried about her."

"Should I be?"

"I don't know, should you?"

"Rose, I don't have a lot of time here. I overheard you two talking yesterday about her blood pressure being high, about her worrying about my father."

"And? I'm not going to tell you anything. I'm not going to betray her trust."

"I'm not asking you to. What can I do to de-stress her? What makes you feel better at the end of the day? I've never been pregnant and reading books only helps so much."

"Rub her feet and her back and you'll be her best friend for life. Em took a class on prenatal massage."

"Really?"

"Yup. He's really into this baby thing. He watched a fiver hour _Baby Story_ marathon he PVRed on TLC. Dude is more prepared for this baby than I am."

Edward pondered this, baffled. "How bizarre. He never once mentioned it."

"Did you honestly think he would? He's been going to aquacise class with me too."

"Wow. Good to know. Um, Rose," Edward paused.

"Yes?"

"If something really big happens with Bella, promise you'll tell me or at least try to get her to tell me?"

"Yes, Edward, I will. I know I tease you about being Worryward, but I don't always mean it. She's lucky to have you."

"No, I'm the lucky on. Thanks, Rose."

"Anytime, kiddo," she said, opening her arms for a hug.

When they made contact, Edward felt a firm kick from Bean. They both jumped before breaking out into laughter.

"Bean must not be happy that another man is touching his or her mother," Edward said, laughing. "May I?"

He knelt down so he was face-to-face, so to speak, with Bean. He placed his hands on the big baby bump and smiled. "Hey, Bean, easy in there. I'm Uncle Edward, I'm not hitting on your Mommy, so chill out."

A clear impression of a foot pushed against him. "Whoa! That was fucked up!"

Rosalie laughed. "You should have seen Em's face the first time Bean did that. He was sure the baby was trying to claw his way out."

"His?" Edward stood and quirked an eyebrow at her.

"Or hers. I honestly don't know. It's killing Em. He really wants to know what it is, but I don't, and we both know he can't keep a secret worth shit."

"True that, he's got to be the worst secret keeper."

Rose rubbed her big belly lovingly. "Yup, but he's going to be a great daddy, isn't he, Bean? I hope it's a girl."

"Emmett could use a girl to keep him in line."

"Yeah, and he'd bend over backwards for her," Rose said, smiling, before wiping a tear from her eye.

"Are you crying?" Edward asked, in awe.

She looked up at him and scowled. "Yes, I'm crying. I can't seem to stop. As soon as I even think abut the baby finally being here or Emmett holding a little bundle, cooing at it, I get weepy. Stupid hormones. It's driving me fucking crazy."

Rose's phone started to play _Baby Got Back_. "Oh, there's Bella."

"Shit, what time is it? I need to get to work. Thanks for the talk, Rose. Please don't tell her I was asking about her; I don't want her to think I'm skulking around behind her back."

"I won't, Edward. Thanks for coming by." She flipped open her phone as she hugged him. "Hey, Bells. You done?"

* * *

"Sweet merciful crap, that feels so good," Bella said as the massage therapist rubbed and tugged at muscles she'd forgotten she had. Peanut's morning acrobatics had really done a number on her. "Rose?"

"Mmm..." Rose said from the adjacent table.

"Thanks, I needed this."

"Rough morning?"

"Oh yeah," she moaned, drawing out the words. "I interviewed one of the subjects for the book this morning and it was heartbreaking. Then, Peanut was going apeshit, beating on my bladder. I had to keep excusing myself during the interview and I'm worried that Dr. Carmen is going to think I can't do the job."

"He knows you're up the spout, right?"

"Mmm..." Bella groaned when the masseuse began to work on her lower back. "Yeah, he does."

"Then no worries. I'm sure he's reasonable."

"I also worry that the subjects are going to think I'm not taking them seriously."

"Oh God, right there—work that spot for a while longer, please. Uhmm, Bella, you really need to chill out on the worrying. Your blood pressure, remember?"

"Yeah, I remem..."

"Bells?"

The masseuse laughed quietly. "She fell asleep."

Rose laughed. "Can you let her nap for a few minutes? She had a rough morning."

"Of course. Um, can I asked a question?"

"Let me guess," Rose said, sighing, "the scars?"

"I feel bad saying anything because I can only imagine what happened."

"No, I don't think you could possibly imagine. She'll tell you if you ask. It's not my story to tell."

"I can't even believe you let me sleep for twenty minutes!" Bella said as she and Rose drove home.

"Claire didn't have another client right away and you must have needed it."

"She looked so nervous when she asked about the scars."

"Yeah, she did. Poor thing really wasn't expecting the story she got. Hey, you want to go to yoga with me?"

"Yes, please. My back pain was a lot better after the last class. I've been doing it at home a bit, too. Edward walked in on me the other day and just about jumped me," Bella said, giggling at the memory.

"Really? How odd."

"Um," Bella blushed, "I was naked."

Rose slapped her playfully. "You dirty girl! I'm so proud of you."

"I tried to seduce him last night and got a leg cramp. How embarrassing. There's nothing even remotely sexy about your half-naked pregnant wife laying bed screaming and crying while her muscles spasm."

"HA!" Rose said, chuckling. "That picture you painted could go either way because there have been times when I've been in bed with Em screaming and crying while _other_ muscles have been spasming...Is that even a word?"

"Okay, so who's the dirty girl now?"

* * *

Bella was cooking dinner a couple of nights later when Edward came home and wrapped her in a warm embrace.

"Hi," he breathed in her ear.

"Mm..." she hummed before turning to kiss him.

His hands roamed her body until they rested on her ass. He pulled her to him, grinding his erection into her.

"Hi, indeed. Hello, Adam," she reached down to palm him.

His breath hitched as he bit at her neck. "I need you," he grunted, picking her up.

Bella looked back at the timer. "We've got six and a half minutes. Can you do it?"

He pulled down her pants and groaned. "Commando? Bella, you're killing me."

"Mm hm," she moaned as she untied his scrubs. Unfortunately he wasn't commando. She quickly pulled down his boxer briefs and squealed as he placed her on the table.

"Open," he commanded. She spread her legs wide for him. He dipped one finger into her folds. "Oh, God, you're so wet."

"I was waiting for you."

Edward nudged Adam toward her before ramming into her. The sound of skin slapping was almost as loud as his feral grunts and her moans.

"Too hard?" he panted.

"No. Harder," she cried out, wrapping her legs around his waist, pulling him closer. "HARDER!"

"I can't hold on, Bella. I'm going to come."

"Me...me...Oh God!" Bella exploded around him, pulling him over the edge into oblivion with her. He flopped over on top of her, trying not to crush her, while he composed himself.

"How much time did we have to spare?"

The timer went off just then, prompting Bella to push him to the side. She sighed sadly as he withdrew from her. "I'd say we had a good twenty seconds to spare. Not too shabby."

He laughed as he watched her waddle, bottomless, toward the oven, where she pulled out a tagine.

"Chicken Tandoori?" he asked, hopeful.

"Yup. Oh, here are your pants." She threw them at him and laughed. "So, out of curiosity, what brought that on?"

"You're so hot. I was thinking about how hot you are on the way home from the hospital."

"You're delusional, sweetie. I'm getting less and less hot every week."

"Au contraire, my love, you get hotter and hotter every day."

She turned away from him as she bent over to pick up her pants. He growled at her.

"If you want a repeat performance, stay just like that. Don't move."

"Ow!" she cried out, as she went down on one knee.

Edward ran to her side. "What is it?"

"I don't know. Must just be a kink. I'm okay now."

She stood up slowly. "Yes, it's passed, whatever it was."

"Come, sit." He lead her to a chair, pulling her gently onto his lap. "Tell me what happened."

"It was like an intense cramp. It's okay now, and Peanut's tap dancing, so I think we're okay."

He kissed her cheek. "Are you sure? Do you think we should call Dr. Dimitri? Do you suppose I was too rough? Do you..."

Putting her fingers over his lips, she shushed him. "Everything's fine. Geez, who's the doctor here?"

He pulled her closer, resting his head on her shoulder and rubbing slow circles on her stomach. "Sorry, I should be calmer, shouldn't I? It's just that I worry."

She rubbed his back reassuringly. "I know, honey, but everything is okay. Now let's have some supper because I've worked up on hell of an appetite."

* * *

_**So...what are your thoughts? The four names listed for boys and girls are all the top ones suggested by you, my wonderful friends. So, will Peanut be a Caleb, a Lily or a Stanley? (*snort* No offense to anyone named Stanley, but Peanut won't be named that!)**_

_**Again, I can't thank you all enough for the encouragement, support, and friendship you've all given me on this journey we're all taking together. Waking up to find 50+ reviews in my inbox does incredible things to a person's mood and well-being. I may not have the sun shining in the sky, but I've got lots of warm fuzzies in my inbox and on my review page.  
**_

_**Don't forget to go vote for **_**Branded_ if you're so inclined to do so on July 7th. That link again is: _**www dot theindietwificawards dot com/vote dot aspx _**If you go to the home page there is a link for all the nominees. There are some great stories there. :)**_**  
**


	26. Ch 26 Party On

_**This chapter is a little shorter than the others, but no worries, the next one should be ready to come out soon. :)**_

_**Don't forget to go vote for Branded over on the Indie Twific Awards site starting on Tuesday. (If you're so inclined to do so)  
**_

_**Stephenie Meyer owns a lot of cool stuff, including the original incarnation of these characters. I mean no disrespect or harm by writing this story.

* * *

  
**_

A tornado hit the small house in Hanover the following Wednesday. Casualty count was low, only the spirit of a spiky-haired pixie was damaged.

"Okay, Rose and Em doing their nursery without my supervision and good taste was bad enough, but really, et tu, Bella?"

"I'm sorry, Alice. We had a couple of days when we could both work on it and sadly you weren't available. It was never intended to insult you."

"You didn't even ask, Bells; I might have been able to come," she said, sighing sadly. "But..."

Bella couldn't help but feel hopeful. "But?"

Alice allowed her gaze to wander around the room. "But, it's not so bad. I don't hate it. It needs a couple of little things, but all in all, colour me impressed."

Unprepared for the hug from Alice, the two of them toppled into the gliding rocker, Alice landing on top of Bella.

"OH MY GOD! I'm so sorry! Are you okay?"

After a couple of deep breaths, she nodded. "Yeah, we're okay. Do you really want me to have this baby early, Alice? Are you that excited? You keep trying to either scare or squeeze it out of me every time you see me."

"I'm really sorry. Maybe I should go."

Alice looked so sad, so forlorn, that Bella felt bad for even joking that Alice wanted to induce labour. "Sister Mine, I was kidding. Now help me up. I'm not as graceful as I used to be."

Holding her hands out, Alice helped pull Bella to her feet, then snorted.

"Hey, what was that snort for?"

"Graceful? Really?"

"Okay, okay, graceful is probably the wrong word. I just hate admitting that I'm as big as a house and can no longer see my feet."

"I think you're ravishing," said a velvet voice behind her.

"Hi, honey, you're home." Bella smiled as she turned to kiss Edward.

"Ugh, you two, there's a sister in the room!"

Edward grinned against Bella's lips and flipped his middle finger at his sister. "Nice to see you too, Alice."

He let go of Bella to embrace his sister. "Where's my boy Jazz?"

"At Em's dealership, hopefully not buying an expensive car. We pay enough to park the Porsche; we don't need another car, although it might be nice to have him driving something other than my baby."

"Aw, come on, Alice. You have your shopping obsession, let the boy play," Edward replied, laughing. "I need a shower. I'll see you ladies soon."

He kissed Bella, then bent down to kiss the Peanut bump and walked back toward the bedroom.

"Okay, that was cute. I have to admit he's pretty damn adorable."

"Yeah, I'm lucky," Bella said before grimacing and rubbing her belly.

Alice looked nervously at her, not wanting to bother her, but needing to know. "Are you okay, Bells?"

"Yeah, just a Braxton Hicks contraction. Be over in a second."

"Is that bad? Should I boil water? Get towels?"

Bella laughed. "No, it's okay. They happen; it's common. They scared the shit out of me at first, but now they're not so bad. I'm tough, I can handle it."

"If you're sure you're okay.

"I am."

"Then let's go shopping! I have a list a mile long of things we need for the shower."

Groaning, Bella started toward the door. "Go easy on me, Alice. My blood pressure is still a little high and I tire easily."

"I will, now come on, time's a wastin'."

* * *

"Oh, God, Edward...yeah...right there...ooooh..." Bella moaned.

Edward pushed harder, adjusting the force and the depth at which he was moving.

"Oh, yeah," she panted, "there!"

"Hold still, love. You're squirming too much. I can't do this if you don't stop moving."

Bella glared back at him. "Don't you dare stop."

He grinned evilly as he smacked her ass. "You need to listen to me."

"Fine, please continue. It feels soooooo good. When did you get so good?"

"I'm shocked! I've always been good at this, now I'm better."

"Mm...you certainly are."

"Hang on, love, I want to get some more oil."

"Aren't I slick enough?"

"You can never be too slick." He moved slightly and she felt his absence immediately. Bella moaned when she felt him position himself behind her again.

"Okay, let me warm this up." Bella heard his hands working together. "There we go. Oh, that's much better. Can you feel the difference in the ease of movement?"

"Mm...oh yeah."

"Are you going to fall asleep on me again?"

"Can you blame me? The pixie had me running all over creation. I'm exhausted. Oh, God, that feels like heaven. Can you go a little lower, please?"

Edward slowly moved his hands lower on her back as he massaged away the pain and tension. It had been really causing her a lot of pain and Edward worried that she'd have a lot of back labour.

"Maybe you should hit the pool tomorrow. That always seems to help, doesn't it?"

"Mm..."

He smiled as he continued to rub her back. Bella was snoring lightly and he could feel Peanut moving around. He decided to rub her legs as well since her ankles had been swelling quite a bit. Being on her feet all day certainly wasn't helping. He made a mental note to ask Alice to go easier on her while she was here; her blood pressure hadn't gone down and he worried about it.

Resting his head on her hip, he hummed Bella's lullaby to Peanut, who seemed to calm down a little. How she ever managed to sleep with a moving creature in her womb, he didn't know.

* * *

"ALICE CULLEN!" Rose yelled from her bedroom.

"What?"

"You honestly can't expect me to wear this to the shower, can you?"

Alice thought about it for a moment. "Um, yeah, I can, and I do."

Bella laughed when she saw what Rose was complaining about; it was a form-fitting sweater dress.

"My knockers are too big, Alice, not to mention I'm leaking already, so I need to wear nursing pads in my bra. This abomination shows every little bump! I know it's natural, but I don't want to announce it to the world. _Hey, look at me! My tits are leaking! _Can I please wear something else?"

"I had an idea you'd object to this first outfit, so I brought a back-up." Alice pulled out a long blue blouse with an empire waist, and grey leggings. "Paired with some nice ballet flats, you should be more than comfortable, not to mention the ruffled detailing at the high waist will hide any, er, imperfections."

Exhaling loudly, Rose finally relaxed. "Thank you. Now, can I lie down for a minute?"

"Yup. Come on, girls. Time for an old-school spoonin'."

The three girls climbed onto Rose's bed and lay together on their left sides. Bella could feel Bean kicking her in the back and laughed. "Bean's giving me a back massage."

"Aren't you lucky? Bean's giving me heartburn, indigestion and gas."

Alice shrieked. "Now you tell me? Bells, move over, I'm getting away from the Gassy Lassie before she farts on me."

"Oh, give it a rest, Alice," Rose grumbled.

"Wow, you're grumpy today."

Rose sniffed.

"Are you crying?"

"No."

"You are! What's wrong, Rose?"

"I'm just hormonal, that's all. I'm big as your parents' house, I'm having a hard time getting around, there's a person kicking me in the kidneys and I don't feel the least bit sexy anymore."

Bella squeezed Rose's hand and pulled it over to rest on Peanut. "I'm right there with you, sister. Seriously, though, you are one hot mama, Rosie. Em has been going on and on about how he'd love to keep you pregnant all the time because you're so beautiful."

Rose wailed. "He says that now, but will he still think that when I'm all saggy skin and boobs? When I no longer have time to get dolled up everyday? I'm just waiting for him to get up one morning, tell me I'm disgusting, and leave me. He deserves someone hot. Not me."

Alice hugged her. "He will never think that, Rose. You are the centre of his universe."

"It's true."

The girls jumped when they heard Emmett's quiet voice from the door.

"I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but when I heard my Rosie crying, I was worried."

He walked over to the bed and sat at her feet. "Rosie, you will never ever be anything less than perfect. You are the most beautiful woman in the world and you always will be. It hurts that you'd think otherwise; it makes me think I don't tell you enough how much I love you, how incredible you are."

All three girls sat on the bed and cried.

Edward stepped in from the hall. "I feel the same about you, Bella."

"And I for you, Alice," Jasper said from behind Edward.

"Well now, aren't we all a bunch of sappy saps," Rosalie said, wiping her eyes. "I blame you, Sapward, you've been sowing your sappy seeds again, haven't you?"

"Aw, look at my babies. Why on earth are you all crying? Is something wrong?"

"Mom!" Alice sobbed.

"Esme!" Bella and Rosalie wailed.

"What did you boys do to my girls? Emmett, are you crying too?"

Running his sleeve quickly over his face, Emmett mumbled a quick no, and got up.

"Why don't you boys go unload the luggage while I mop up my girls?"

Edward laughed quietly to himself as he carried a piece of his mother's luggage. Carlisle would be arriving later in the day; something had come up at the hospital requiring him to stay a little longer.

"Why are you laughing?" Jasper asked.

"Emmett."

"Pretty funny, isn't it?"

"Oh, yeah. Big guy falls apart at the drop of a hat lately. Seems Rose's hormones are contagious."

"Easy, Sapward, you'll be even more Emo in a few weeks. Mark my words."

"More Emo? Man, that's a lot of weeping and guyliner, Em."

"Trust me."

They laughed as the carried in the last of the luggage. Esme had decided to stay on for a couple of weeks to help Rosalie get ready for the baby and to give Bella a hand with any further nursery decorating. Both Emmett and Edward were thrilled to have her around; Edward hated leaving Bella alone for too long and Emmett didn't want Rosalie working too hard.

The shower was scheduled for Saturday at 2 p.m. It was going to be a co-ed event because the guys had complained they were going to miss out on everything. In the end it worked out well because the women didn't particularly want to play all the games and the guys were so competitive that it would provide some free top-notch entertainment.

The guest list included the family, although Rosalie's parents weren't able to make it; the gang from the dealership; some neighbours and some of the women she and Bella had met in yoga and pre-natal classes.

Bella nearly choked when Rose brought a handsome young man over to meet her.

"Bella," she said, snickering, "I'd like you to meet Adam."

"Oh, hi, Adam. So nice to finally meet you."

The poor guy looked so uneasy it was making Bella feel uncomfortable.

"Um, yeah, you too, Bella. Emmett talks a lot about his super smart baby sister." He turned red. "I'm sorry, is there something wrong? Is there a reason you two look like you want to laugh? Is there snot hanging from my nose?"

Rose gave him a squeeze. "No, sweetie, we're sorry. We've got late stage pregnancy hysteria. Bells and I are both prone to spontaneous and embarrassing bouts of laughter."

"Oh, okay. Well, it was nice meeting the boss' sister. I'll see you two around."

As soon as poor Adam was out of earshot, Bella and Rosalie exploded.

"I... I feel...so...so bad!" Bella said. "He seems like a nice guy."

"Imagine how I felt when I first met him—I had no warning other than a strange grin on Em's face. The poor guy must have thought I was nuts. I still have a hard time looking him in the eye. Geez, Bells, why couldn't you have named Edward's cock Zebediah or Methuselah or a less common name. This poor guy will forever be known in our circle as Edward's dick."

"Oh...stop it, Rose!"

Bella was bent over, gasping for air, still laughing when a red-faced Edward appeared.

"Um, I just..."

"Me too!"

"I feel like such a jerk."

"I know," Bella said, still giggling, "me too. He must think we're the worst people in the world."

"Ladies and gentlemen, or rather, boys, can I get everyone to congregate in the living room please?" Alice shouted above the din.

Once everyone was settled, Alice made a short speech welcoming everyone, gushing over the beautiful mother-to-be, then jumped into the games. "Okay, everyone should have a ball of yarn under their chairs. Please take it out and without touching Rose in any way, shape or form, predict just how big around she is."

Emmett mumbled to Edward: "Best get it right, brother, or you'll incur the wrath."

"Why's that?"

"She's really sensitive about her size. Underestimate if you have to, please."

"You just want to win. I'm onto you, Emmett Swan."

"I'm not playing the game. I value my nuts too much for that."

By the time everyone had chosen his or her length of yarn, Edward had seen what Emmett had meant. Poor Rose flinched every time someone held up his or her guess to size her up.

"I'd better go do damage control," he said. Moving to sit beside her, Emmett whispered something to her and made her smile. She kissed him briefly before Alice pulled her to her feet and the measuring began.

The guesses ranged from impossibly small to the morbidly obese. Rose continued to flinch, but each time, Emmett would kiss her hand and she'd smile again.

Jasper ended up winning, with Esme coming in a close second. The prize was a gag bib that said _Spit Happens_ and an engraved picture frame that said, _Baby Swan_. He smiled and gave his older sister a big kiss on the cheek while a chorus of awwwws rang through the room.

"Next game is kind of a progressive one. Everyone was given five clothespins when you came in. If you catch anyone saying the word _baby_ in regular conversation, you get to take away a clothespin. At the end of the shower, whoever has the most pins will win. Got it?"

Everyone nodded yes.

"This next game is for everyone. Couple up and boys put on the blindfolds your partners give to you. Yes, that means you too, Mom and Dad. Okay, I'm going to give each team a sampler of baby food. Ladies, feed your men and write down what he thinks it is.

"So, the ladies don't cheat, the labels have been removed and the jars are numbered so only I know the correct answers. Got it?"

Everyone said yes. Emmett shouted, "Bring it on!"

Then chaos ensued.

"Strained carrots!"

"Peas!"

"Banana!"

"Baby shit!"

"Emmett, language."

"Sorry, Esme."

"Peaches!"

"Applesauce!"

"Ow!"

Emmett whipped off his blindfold. "Ow? Babe, are you okay?"

Rose held her belly and grimaced. "Yeah, just give me a second. Bean's boxing with my diaphragm."

She took a couple of cleansing breaths before shouting, "GAME ON!"

Blindfolds went back on and the shouting resumed. At the end, Adam and his girlfriend Penny were victorious. They were presented with gag bibs that said _Give Peas a Chance_ and _Everybody Poops_; and a $50 gift certificate for Murphy's on the Green.

Alice gave everyone a few minutes to get drinks, take bathroom breaks, tempt each other to say the word _baby_. It would give her a chance to get Bella and Rose alone.

"Are you sure you're okay, Rosie?" Bella asked, concerned.

"Yeah, the contractions are getting more intense."

Alice shrieked. "Are you in labour?"

"I...I don't know. Let's just see how this goes. Don't say anything, okay?"

"You're only at 37 weeks, Rose. Maybe you should tell Carlisle," Bella suggested.

"No, no. Dr. Dimitri said that it's okay to go at 37 weeks. Let's finish the parrrr....shit...here comes another one."

Bella took Rosalie's hand and rubbed her back. "Breathe through it, Rosie. In, out. Deep breaths."

Emmett walked in at that moment and paled. "Rosie, is it time?"

"I...hee...hee...hee...hoooo...don't know," she panted.

"Let me grab Carlisle, I'll be right back."

"It's okay, Em. It passed. If it is labour, we've got time. The contractions are only 15-20 minutes apart. Let's finish the party. I'm dying to watch this next game. Help me up, okay? Please don't say anything. Em, just in case, is the bag packed?"

"It's in the Jeep with the car seat."

She kissed him. "You're a great man, Emmett Swan. I love you."

"I love you too, but promise me you won't hang on too long."

"I won't. You guys go out there. Bella and I will be out in minute."

By the time the two pregnant girls made it back out, the next game was in full swing. All the men in attendance were trying desperately to suck juice out of a baby bottle. Bella grabbed her camera once she had Rose situated, and took a ton of photos. The guys were all so intent on winning that they didn't notice how ridiculous they looked.

Everyone was laughing so hard that Bella barely heard Rose cry out again. She rushed to her side.

"Bells, I think it's go time. I'm sorry, but I think my water just broke in Edward's favourite chair."

"No worries. He was so concerned about me having an accident while napping that it's well-protected. Come on, Momma, let's grab Papa and get you two to the hospital."

* * *

**_I know, I know, a cliffie. I'm sorry. I have the next chapter pretty much ready to type and edit, so you won't be waiting forever._**

**_Is it a boy? Is it a girl? Is it a half-vampire? Only I know right now. Muah ha ha ha ha! Okay, sorry...that was just cruel._**

**_Stay tuned!  
_**


	27. Ch 27 Perfect

_**Sorry for the cliffie. I had really hoped to have this chapter up sooner, but RL has a way of happening and I had some things to take care of.**_

_**I am going to eventually do an outtake of the birth, probably from Emmett's POV. **_

_**So, thanks for the love, the baby predictions, and all that. **_

_**Stephenie Meyer owns it, I just exploit it. ;)**_

When we last left them, Rosalie was in labour and we were going to meet the newest member of the family.

* * *

Although the experience was exhausting, Bella was so incredibly happy to be part of Rosalie's birthing process. She sat with her and helped Emmett coach her through the contractions; helped her get changed; walked around with her; steadied her on the birthing ball; helped her get ready for the birthing tub; spoke soothing affirmations and rubbed her back between contractions.

When it was time to push, Bella encouraged her firmly, but lovingly through each painful contraction. Rose had chosen to do it naturally, and was handling the pain like a real trooper. Bella marvelled at her strength, and the long strings of profanities that flew from her mouth. Emmett, big tough guy that he was, was a bit of a pansy in the birthing tub, crying when Rose would scream at him, begging her to forgive him for putting her in that situation.

After an hour and a half of diligent pushing, a new life was born and everyone in the room burst into tears.

In the waiting room, Alice was pacing back and forth while Jasper tried to calm her down. Esme read a magazine, or at least appeared to be reading it. Her legs bounced up and down nervously and she never seemed to turn the page. Carlisle and Edward sat off to the side and talked about birthing plans and the benefits of breastfeeding.

Suddenly a soaking wet, swim-trunk clad Emmett flew through the double swinging doors from the maternity ward, tears streaming down his face, a smile from ear-to-ear.

"SHE'S FUCKING HERE!"

"Language, Emmett," Esme scolded, "wait...SHE'S here? It's a girl?"

Alice jumped up and down, clapping her hands. "I knew it!"

Edward gave his wet brother a big hug. "How was it?"

"Scary as fuck. We'll talk, brother. Oh, we'll talk."

Carlisle was next. "Congratulations, son."

"Thanks, Carlisle. Esme, I need you. Rose is asking for you."

Esme wiped the tears from her face as she followed Emmett.

Bella held little Lily Renee Swan in total awe of the incredibly beautiful creature sleeping in her arms. Tears streamed down her face. "You, my sweet little Lily, are one lucky little girl. You have wonderful parents who will love you more than life itself, and a big family who will spoil you rotten. I'm Auntie Bella and underneath you, is your cousin Peanut, who will be joining us soon."

Rose groaned in the bed beside her.

"You okay, Rosie?"

"Yeah, the cramps are a little annoying."

Esme and Emmett burst through the doors. Bella handed Lily over to a still-damp Emmett and smiled. "She's a heartbreaker, Em."

"She's a pretty little thing, isn't she? Here, Esme, since Rosie's mom isn't here yet, you get to be the first grandma to hold her."

Esme beamed at the beautiful bundle in her arms. "Oh, Rose, Emmett, she's perfect."

"Well, she's half me and half Rosie, so how could she not be the essence of perfection."

Watching the birth process really stirred something in Bella, but the moment that really touched her was when she helped Rose put Lily to her breast for a feeding. Every maternal instinct in her roared to life. She was so full of love at that moment that she fell apart; she sobbed uncontrollably. It wasn't long before familiar strong arms wrapped around her. Turning to Edward, she buried her face in his chest and broke apart.

Edward knew Bella would be emotional and exhausted, so it was no surprise when Esme came out and asked him to come help Bella; although he hadn't expected to find her quite so shattered.

He went to her, gathered her into his arms and carried her to a chair where he sat with her on his lap. Cradling her to his chest, he hummed the familiar soothing lullaby. Eventually she fell asleep.

"Poor thing is exhausted. Maybe you should take her home," Esme suggested.

"I have to be back here in a couple of hours to work my shift. I hate to have to leave her."

"Ask Alice to come stay with her while you're working. She won't mind. Now go home, son, get some sleep."

Edward yawned. "Yeah, you're right, Mom. I think I'll do that. I hope Bella's not too upset when she wakes up at home."

"She'll probably thank you for it. It's been a long day." Esme kissed the top of his head. "I'll talk to Alice for you. You get our sweet girl home and in bed."

"Thanks, Mom."

Edward stood, Bella still asleep in his arms, and said goodbye to Emmett and Rosalie.

"Thank you, Edward," Rosalie said quietly as she continued to nurse Lily. "Thank Bella for me when she wakes up."

"Congrats, guys. I'll pop in later."

* * *

The room was dark when Bella woke up. _How did I get here? Did Rose really have the baby? Did I dream it all? Why does my head feel like it's going to explode?"_

Reaching for Edward, she was surprised to find he wasn't in the bed with her. _What time is it?_

Very slowly she eased herself off the bed and walked unsteadily to the bathroom. Her bladder felt so full she thought it might explode. She got dressed and eventually made her way down to the living room, which was now spotless.

_Did I dream the whole thing? The shower? The birth? What the hell?_

Hearing a noise in the kitchen, she slowly walked in that direction to investigate. She found Alice and Jasper putting dishes away and speaking quietly.

"Oh, Bells, I'm sorry, did we wake you?"

"No," she replied groggily. "What time is it?"

"It's four-thirty."

Bella was confused. "In the morning?"

"No, in the afternoon. Are you okay? Here, come sit. Can I make you some tea?"

Bella nodded as jasper led her to the table. He sat her on a chair, pulling one up beside her for himself.

"Can I ask a really strange question?"

"Of course, Bells, what is it?" he replied.

"Did Rose have a baby?"

"Yes, a little girl."

Bella scrunched her face, trying to piece together what had happened. "Oh, wait! She went into labour during her shower. I helped her. She took my name."

"Took your name?"

"Lily was on my list for girls. Guess that's now gone. Time for Plan B."

Alice laughed as she passed Bella a cup of tea. Bella sipped at it quietly as she remembered the events of the early morning.

"Where's Edward?"

"Working. He said he'd be home shortly after six, unless you want to meet him at the hospital."

Bella brightened up. "Yes! Can you take me? I want to see Rose and Lily."

"Sure, Bells," Jasper said. "You have a bite to eat, get cleaned up, and we'll go."

"Do I look that bad?"

"You're looking pretty haggard. Why don't I make a snack while you shower?"

"Sounds good."

Everything went black when Bella stood. She wobbled before Jasper grabbed her and sat her back down.

"Whoo," she said. "Head rush."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just stood up too fast. It happens. I'm okay now, although maybe someone should come and make sure I make it up the stairs safely."

"I gotcha," Jasper offered. He put out his arm. "Ma'am, it would give me great pleasure if you'd allow me to assist you."

Bella smacked him playfully. "Jazz, you are incorrigible. If it weren't for your southern charm, you might be considered a cheese ball."

* * *

Rose slept peacefully as Emmett held their precious daughter in his big, safe, arms.

"Hi, Lily, it's Daddy. You're a little earlier than we expected but I'm so glad you're here, and you're perfect. Seven pounds, six ounces, ten adorable little fingers, ten shrunken little toes, light hair like your Momma, eyes like your Daddy, and your Auntie Bella's cute little nose.

"I'm not sure I know what I'm doing, but if you promise not to laugh at me when I screw up, I'll promise to love you always, even when you're an angsty teenager.

"I kind of messed up when I was looking after your Auntie Bella, so if I seem a little protective, that's why. I don't ever want to see you get hurt, especially not as badly as she was.

"Happy birthday, my sweet, little Lily. Daddy loves you so much he thinks his heart might burst."

Bella walked over and kissed the top of her brother's head. "Oh, Emmett, I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but that was the sweetest thing I've ever heard. She's a lucky little girl to have you for a Daddy. You're going to be great."

"Thanks, Belly. Would you like to hold her?"

"Would I? What a silly question, of course I do!"

Bella sat where Emmett had been sitting and took Lily into her arms. She smelled the top of her head and sighed.

"I used to think that the best smell in the world was the interior of a brand new Ferrari, but I changed my mind; my new favourite smell is new baby," he said, smiling.

"Em, why don't you go grab a bite? Alice and Jasper are on their way in; we can look after Rose. Edward's getting off soon too, he'll probably be hungry."

"Good idea. Thanks, Belly. I love you."

"I love you too, Em."

* * *

"CULLEN! Wait up!" Emmett yelled as he jogged toward Edward.

Edward smiled. "Hey, Papa Bear. I didn't figure you'd let Lily out of your sight for the next, oh, twenty years."

"Twenty-five, but it's okay, she's in good hands."

"Esme?"

"No, Bella. She told me you'd be getting off soon and you might want to grab a bite."

"I have one more patient to look in on and then I'm done. Want to meet me in the cafeteria?"

"Sure. I'll be the one eating everything on the menu. I haven't eaten anything since the baby shower, which reminds me, there's still a cake waiting for us to eat it."

Edward laughed. "Oh, quick question; how did Bella look?"

"Tired, a little pale, but otherwise beaming."

"Good. So, I'll see you in the caf in ten minutes?"

"Yup, yup."

Sure enough, Edward found Emmett chowing down on just about everything on the menu. He grabbed a sandwich and bowl of soup and joined his brother.

"So, how's it feel to finally be a daddy?"

"Fuckin' A, man, fuckin' A. I don't mean to get all sappy because that's your thing, but wow. I love Rosie hardcore, but Lily? Man, it's hard to believe that something so tiny could make me feel so strong and make me cry like you. She's just so perfect, you know? And she's mine. I helped make her with the most amazing woman in the world. It's like Lily has the best things from both of us. I think about her and I want to explode. How is it possible to love someone you just met so much?

"Then I get scared—really scared. I'm terrified that I'm going to fuck this up; that I'll drop her and break her, or I'll put her diaper on wrong and she'll get a rash, or that I'll move her too fast and hurt her or I'll hug her too hard and her head'll pop off."

Edward smiled at Emmett. "You have nothing to worry about, Em. You're going to be an amazing father."

Jasper sat beside Edward. "Dude, I had to get away from all the hormonal women. Lily this, baby that, sore vajayjays, torn whatsis and whosits. Ugh. I don't envy you one bit—except now that I've met her, I kind of want a little Lily of my own."

"You may not want to listen to our conversation either."

"I'd rather listen to you two than the five women in the bedroom."

"Five?"

"Yeah, Mom just got here. She started crying and the rest of them joined in."

"Shit," Emmett mumbled as he shoved a donut in his mouth. "I'd better get back before Lillian Sr. accuses me of neglecting my wife and child. You know how your mother loves to bust my balls, Jazz."

"Nah, they won't even notice you. They're fighting over the baby."

Edward moved to stand. Jasper stopped him. "Hey, I don't mean to alarm you, and this is really none of my business, but Bella seems a little off."

"She's probably tired."

"She blacked out this afternoon.

He sat back down. "Damn it, I bet it's her blood pressure again. We have an appointment tomorrow, I guess we'll have to mention it to Dr. Dimitri. Thanks, Jazz."

"No problem. So, would you mind if Alice and I crash with you guys? Em's house is filling up quickly, what with the grandparents being here."

"Of course, Jazz. Actually, that's probably a good thing. If Bella's blood pressure is high, she'll be going on bed rest, so it would be good to have someone at the house when I'm at work."

The boys returned to Rosalie's room. Esme handed Lily over to Edward. He held her gently, swaying side to side, unable to take his eyes off her. She truly was perfect. Tears sprung to his eyes when he thought that in just a couple months this would be him holding his baby.

Emmett chuckled. "Here comes Emoward."

He blushed as he handed her back to her father before turning to speak to Bella. "I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted. Want to come home with me?"

She nodded. She was really pale and there were horrible dark circles under her eyes.

"Come on, let's go." He helped her up and kept his arm around her waist as they left the hospital.

Bella fell asleep almost as soon as the car left the parking lot. When they arrived at home, Edward carried her into the house, gently setting her on the bed. He carefully removed her shoes and socks, noting how swollen her feet and ankles were. He removed her pants and tried unsuccessfully to get her shirt off.

"Mm...not tonight, Edward, I'm tired."

He smiled before kissing her forehead. "No, love, I'm trying to get you into your pajamas. Can you sit up for a minute?"

"Mmokay," she mumbled, not moving.

"Bella?"

"Tired. Help?"

He gently sat her up and managed to get her out of her shirt, pulling a nightshirt over her head and wrestled her arms into the sleeves.

"Thanks. Love y..." she was snoring before she finished her thought.

Sweaty from the exertion of undressing and redressing his wife, Edward decided to take a shower. The hot water pounding on his skin lulled him to sleep. When he woke up he was on the floor of the shower being pelted by cold water.

_Suck it up, Cullen. It's just going to get worse when Peanut comes._

He dried off, pulled on some pajama pants, and passed out. He slept deep and hard until the alarm went off the next morning.

"Bella," he said, nudging her.

"Mm...Edward? What's wrong?"

He kissed her shoulder. "Nothing, I just wanted to say good morning and remind you about the appointment with Dr. Dimitri at ten. I'll meet you at his office, okay? Maybe Alice and Jasper can drive you."

"Okay. I love you. Have a good morning. See you soon."

"I love you too. Take it easy today, okay?"

"Mm..."

* * *

"Congratulations are in order, aren't they, Aunt Bella and Uncle Edward?"

"Hi, Dr. Dimitri. Thanks. We're all crazy about Lily, she's a real looker," Edward said, shaking the doctor's hand.

"Bella? Are you okay? Here, come sit." Dr. Dimitri led her to a chair.

"I'm just tired. Rosalie's labour took a lot out of me."

"Mind if I check your blood pressure?"

"No, please do. It's probably high," she said, sadly.

"Why would you think that?"

"I've been blacking out; I'm exhausted and I just don't feel right."

"Well, let's see," he said as he put the cuff on her arm and began pumping the bulb. He _tsk-tsked_. "Not good. Bella, dear, I need you to go on bed rest for a while. We need to get these numbers down."

Bella began to cry. "I don't know what I did wrong."

"Sh, sweetie, you didn't do anything. Sometimes this happens, and you've been running yourself into the ground lately, what with your work and getting things ready for the shower. It'll be okay because Alice and Jasper are staying with us, and they can help you relax until they have to go back. Maybe then Esme can come spend some time with you. We'll figure this out. All that matters is that you and Peanut are safe and healthy," Edward said, comforting her.

Dr. Dimitri had her get changed into a gown so he could do an internal exam. "Well, it feels okay. Your cervix is a little thinner than I'd like, but you're still in good shape. A little rest will do you a lot of good."

"So I'm stuck in bed for the next three months?"

"No, dear, you can move around, I just don't want you on your feet for long periods of time. You'll also have to cancel your skydiving trip in the Grand Canyon," he said winking at her. "Don't fret, Bella, you might be okay to resume regular activities in a couple of weeks. This could be a fleeting thing. Edward, you must have access to a pressure cuff, maybe you could track Bella's pressures until we meet up again. We can go from there.

"For now, just please take it easy. If you continue to black out, please tell me. Now I'd like you to head over to see Maria at ultrasound and we need to get some blood work done, but you need to fast first, so I'll send in the request to the lab and they'll be in touch with the details.

"Oh, Bella, don't look so sad. You've done amazingly well to carry the baby this far. Consider this a great time to get caught up on reading and watching movies."

Their moods were soon lifted when they saw Peanut on the screen during the ultrasound. Bella reached her hand out and touched the screen. _I'll stay off my feet if you'll stay healthy,_ she promised silently to her unborn baby.

Maria smiled at them. "Peanut's looking good and growing steadily. If all goes well, by our calculations, you've got about 12 weeks to go. I wouldn't be surprised if you went in ten."

"Isn't that too early?"

"No, anything after 37 weeks is full term. Now, let me print off some pictures for your collection and we'll be done."

"Thanks, Maria," Bella said, smiling.

"No cookies today?" she teased.

Bella sighed. "No, and there won't be for a while. I'm on bed rest now."

"I was only kidding. Oh, don't cry, Bella. Bed rest isn't the end of the world. I was on it for my last two kids. Actually, I was thankful for it because I was well-rested when they came along. It made my nesting days a little rough, but I took up scrapbooking and knitting to keep myself busy. You'll find ways to pass the time.

"So, you get cleaned up and I'll see you in three weeks."

Bella hugged her when she got down from the table. "Thanks, Maria."

"Anytime. Be good to our girl, Edward."

He smiled as he put his arms around Bella's waist, resting his hands lovingly on her belly. "Always am."

* * *

Alice drove Bella home and tried consoling her. "Well, that really sucks, Bells, but I'll find ways to entertain you. We can go to movies, right? You're not totally stuck in bed, are you?"

"No, no excessive walking, no jumping, no skydiving."

"No shopping?"

"Nope," Bella said, secretly rejoicing the only plus to this stupid situation.

"Well, there's always online shopping."

"Oh Lord helps us, Peanut."

* * *

_**So, there you have it. Rose and Emmett are the proud parents of a little girl. **_

_**The voting for the Indie Twific Awards has been moved again. Voting opens July 8th, which is Wednesday, and runs until July 12th, which is Sunday. If you are so inclined, it would be lovely if y'all could throw some votes my way. :) go to www dot theindietwificawards dot com/vote dot aspx (of course you need to replace the dots with actual dots.)**_

_**Sorry the past couple of chapters have been so short compared to the other ones. Hopefully the next one will be longer. **_

_**Reviews make Edward less Emo and more Sappy. :)  
**_


	28. Ch 28 Hormonal Horrors

_**So, seems Road Maps was also nominated for two Indie Twific Awards (Alternate Universe-Human **_**and_ Most Original Story Line._** _**It would be great if you could pop over and show **_**Branded**_** and **_**Road Maps**_** some love. :)**_ _**They're up against some great stories. You could also vote for Entropic Kitten's Crackfic **_**Jessica's Big Chance_ and Katmom's Alternate Universe story _Guarding Edward_, which are both great stories. _**

**_www dot theindietwificawards dot com/vote dot aspx (don't forget to replace the word 'dot' with actual dots)  
_**

**_This chapter is a little fluffy. I know some of you are looking for some angst, but there's more of that to come. It can't be angsty all the time. _**

**_Stephenie Meyer owns our love and respect. I own the New Moon poster (thanks Sophie!).

* * *

_**

Rosalie and Lily were released from the hospital the following day. Alice drove Bella over to greet them, and to take over the gifts and cake that hadn't been dealt with at the shower.

Esme immediately began doting on Bella, pretty much hovering. "Are you sure you should be out and about, dear?" "Do you need to put your feet up?" "Have you had enough to drink?" "Are you hungry?" "Are you tired?"

Alice gently pushed her mother away from Bella. "Back off, Mom. Step away from the Bella."

"Pshaw, Alice. I'm not bothering you, am I?"

"Well, you're kind of..."

"Oh, I'm sorry, dear. I didn't mean to, I just..."

"Worry," Bella and Alice chimed in together.

Esme laughed. "How about I go bother Rose if you'll promise to let me know if you need me."

"Deal."

Emmett walked over, a big slab of cake in his hand. "Good cake, Belly. Want some?"

"No, you go ahead. I'm watching my girlish figure."

He laughed one of his trademark belly laughs. "Okay, but don't say I didn't ask."

She smiled at him. "Always looking out for me. Best turn your attention to your little girl, you don't need to be Big Brother Bear anymore, you can be Proud Papa Bear."

Emmett sat beside her, putting an arm around her shoulders. "Bella, I'll always be Big Brother Bear. I've got more than enough room in these big arms for all three of my girls. Now, what's this I hear about bed rest?"

"Bed rest sucks, Emmy, and it's only the first day. What am I going to do for the next twelve weeks?"

"It won't be so bad. You can always spend you time resting over here with Rosie and Bean, I mean, Lily."

"I suppose, but it still sucks."

"It'll all be worth it when Peanut finally arrives," Emmett said, kissing the top of her head. "Do you want a turn with Lily?"

"Sure, hand her over. Time to get used to handling a baby."

Bella held little Lily until it was time for her to feed. Rosalie came and asked Bella if she'd come keep her company while she fed. The three of them climbed into Rosalie and Emmett's big bed.

"I don't know why watching you breastfeeding gets me so weepy."

"Hormones, sweets, hormones."

"So, how does it feel to be home?"

"Good. Better, actually. The hospital was starting to get to me. I'll be glad when all the craziness is over and we can get on with being a family. Having so many people hovering around is starting to make me feel claustrophobic. Don't get me wrong, I love having the Moms here, it's just getting to be a bit much. I suppose I'll regret saying this when they're gone and there's no one to help me with meals and whatnot."

"I can leave, I didn't—"

Rosalie cut her off. "You ARE part of our little family, Bells. You are always welcome here. You're my rock, I'm gonna need you to listen to me piss and moan about my sore tits, my cracked nipples, my floppy snootch, and other womanly things. Besides, you don't fawn over me."

"Good. You tell me when I've worn out my welcome."

"Of course. When have you ever known me to mince words?"

Bella and Rosalie watched as little Lily suckled. She made the sweetest little sighs of contentment and it damn near made Bella start to cry again. They laughed when Rose observed that Lily's appetite was very much like her father's—voracious.

It wasn't until Lily began to cry sometime later that Bella realized that she and Rose had fallen asleep. Emmett stood at the end of the bed, camera in hand, grinning.

"I couldn't resist."

"You'll resist next time, Emmett! We were having a great nap and you went and woke up the baby with the flash of the camera. For that, husband, you get the next dirty diaper."

"Rosie, baby, I'm sorry."

"Oh, you'll be sorry, alright. If your daughter has your appetite, then surely she'll let fly with some monumental craps.

"You wake us again and you'll have diaper duty for a week straight. If she poops while you're at work you'll come home and change her."

Emmett looked down at his feet. "Yes, ma'am."

Rose gasped. "Did I just say that? Em, honey, I'm sorry, I don't know what got into me. Come here."

He took a step back, away from her.

"I promise I won't hurt you."

"Can I just accept your apology and be done with this?"

Rose wiped a tear from her eye. "Can you take the baby, Em? I'm going to have a meltdown and I don't want her to see it or be around me. I'm oozing negative energy right now."

"Babe, are you okay?"

"Yes. Hormones. Take baby. Go. Please." She begged.

Rosalie turned to Bella. "Can you believe I just said that to him? I am such a bitch! I don't know how he puts up with me. How can I be a good Mom if I'm blowing up over nothing? What if I yelled at Lily?"

"It's okay, Rosie. You didn't freak out that bad, I've seen you bust Em's balls for lesser things. Okay, so you may have snapped at him and threatened him with baby poop, but he'll get over it. Now why don't I go get your Mom and Esme. They know more about this than I do."

Rosalie sniffed before she gave Bella a hug. "I don't know what I'd do without you, sweets."

"And I don't know what I would have done without you back in the day."

"Man, aren't we all Sapward. Look at us!"

"Hey, now, Sapward is my husband and the father of my unborn child, not to mention the godfather of yours. I happen to love Sapward."

"Fine, fine, Sapward can stay."

"I'll go get the Moms. I might go home after that. I have work to do for Dr. Carmen, not to mention I still have to tell him that I'm on bed rest and won't be able to go to Montreal next week. Man, if he doesn't pull me off this project, I'll be surprised."

"I'm sure he'll understand. Be safe, Bells. Please take it easy. I couldn't bear the thought of anything happening to you or Peanut."

"I will. Don't be so hard on yourself, Rosie. You're a great Mom."

* * *

"Hi, Dr. Carmen?"

"Bella?"

"Yes, sir. How are you?"

"I'm great, dear. How are you making out?"

"It's been a hectic few days, sir. My sister-in-law had her baby three weeks early."

"Is everyone okay?" he asked, concerned.

"Oh yes, sir. Lily is gorgeous and healthy as a pony."

"Congratulations are in order, then."

"I suppose so, but..."

"Oh oh, I don't like the sound of that _but._"

"I'm really sorry, Dr. Carmen. I hate to tell you this, but I've been put on bed rest. My blood pressure is high. I'm going to have to pass out on the trip to Montreal next week. Flying is not in my, er, Peanut's best interest right now."

"Don't be sorry, Bella, it can't be helped; these things happen. We are constantly at the mercy of our bodies, and yours is clearly telling you to take it easy."

"But sir, I feel like I'm letting you down, letting down the team."

"Not at all, dear. We'll just video conference. You have a webcam for your laptop, yes?"

"Yes," she was confused.

"You can lay in bed and watch from there, and we can speak to you face-to-screen if you wish, but don't feel like you have to make a visual appearance. We can just connect via audio. Technology is an incredible thing, dear."

"Are you sure you don't want to find someone else?"

"No, Bella, you are it. We can work around this. It's more important for you to remain healthy and carry that baby to term safely. So, what do you say? Are you still in?"

"Of course, sir. Thank you so much."

"My pleasure. So, do you have some of your preliminary data ready to submit?"

"Yes, sir. I should have the first draft ready to send tonight, tomorrow at the latest."

"What slant did you decide to use."

"Well, people tend to focus on the abuse; they live it, sometimes hide behind it, or hide from the truth. Id' like the book to focus on the healing stories and not just the harm. I want more of the "after" paintings than the before. I want to show life progressing and not regressing, and use that to show the benefits of AT."

"Sounds promising. Can't wait to read it."

"Thank you, sir."

"I'll be in touch, Bella. Take care."

* * *

"I'm a HOUSE!"

"You're a what?" Edward asked as he took a bite of his Corn Flakes.

"I'm a fucking house! Look at me! I need my own street number shingle to hang off my ridiculously huge nipples."

Edward reached over and pulled his ranting wife to him. "I think you're exquisite."

"Whatever!"

"My god, you're grumpy this morning!"

Bella pulled away. "What now? You didn't just tell me that I'm grumpy did you? If so, cover the boys because my knee is dangerously close. I'm almost 31 weeks pregnant. I'm fat. I can't sleep. I can't get comfortable. I've got the original cast of Riverdance stomping in my womb. I can't stop farting and burping and I'm being held hostage by a tiny being the size of a small watermelon."

"Oh, come on, love."

"Don't _oh, come on, love_ me, Edward. You try living like this for a day and...oh." Bella doubled over, panting.

Edward ran to her side. "What is it?"

"Kick. Hard one." Bella tried to take some cleansing breaths. As soon as she caught her breath, she stood. "I'm okay."

"Are you sure?"

"Yup. Peanut must not have liked my ranting." She rubbed her belly. "Sorry, Peanut. You're really worth it all. Edward, I'm sorry I blew up at you. Bed rest would be easier if I could sleep or get comfortable."

"Speaking of bed rest, I'd like to check your blood pressure before I go to work."

Bella passed Edward his bag. He removed a pressure cuff and affixed it to her arm. Too afraid to see the look on Edward's face, she turned away and begged the universe for a reprieve.

"Wow," Edward said as he tore the Velcro on the cuff.

"God, how bad is it?"

"It's not that bad."

"Really?"

"No, it's not. It's a lot better than it was. If you take it easy today, maybe tomorrow or the next I'll feel better about you doing more."

"Yes, Dr. Cullen. So, can I go to Baby and Me Yoga with Rosie and Lily today if I promise not to overdo it? Please? The stretching helps my back and the focused breathing is probably good for my blood pressure."

Edward chuckled as he thought about it. "Okay, however, if you black out, see spots, experience light—"

"Yeah, yeah," she said, cutting him off. "I know. Can you please trust me to know my body well enough to do this and know my limits?"

"Yes, I'm sorry, sweetie. I'm just scared that something is going to happen. Promise to have me paged if anything happens."

"Yes," she said, kissing his nose. "Thank you."

Edward wrapped his arms around her and kissed her passionately. "God, I miss being able to make you scream my name. I need you so bad."

"Mm...I miss you making me scream. When can we have sex again? I may be the size of the Titanic but I'm horny as hell. I have needs!" She ran her nose up the line of his jaw and inhaled. "God, you smell good."

Edward shifted his scrubs. "Bellaaa...I have to go work and I'm pitching a massive tent. You're an evil little minx."

Bella rubbed Adam through his pants. "I see that. Can I fix this problem for you?"

He looked at his watch. "If you feel so obliged, we've got about fifteen minutes before I have to leave."

Grabbing his hands, she pulled him toward the stairs. "Upstairs, shower, now."

"Okay."

"They ran up the stairs, or rather, Edward ran and Bella waddled. He was undressed and in the shower by the time she made it, very out of breath, but still very much up for some lovin'.

"Are you sure?" he asked, worried.

"Yup."

Bella stripped off her nightshirt and got in beside him under the warm water, sighing. She kissed him once before going down. She grunted as she kneeled on the floor. Edward stopped her, grabbed a towel and planed it beneath her knees.

"Better?"

"Yes. Thank you."

Without further ado, Bella took his throbbing erection in mouth and deep throated him. Time was running out and there was no room for foreplay. She sucked him hard and deep while cupping and rolling his balls. His guttural groans ignited a fire in her sex so deep it couldn't be quenched. But this wasn't about her; it was about Edward.

His hands fisted in her hair. "Bellaaa...I'm going to...oh fuck."

Bella sucked harder, running her tongue over his swollen head and grazing his shaft with her teeth.

"Oh, shit!" he cried out as he pumped his seed into the back of her throat.

After licking him clean, Bella gestured for help getting to her feet. He smiled as he slowly pulled her up the length of his body. Bella groaned.

"I need you," she said, huskily.

"We can ask Dr. Dimitri tomorrow if we can try some, uh, light sex."

"Yay!" she said, kissing him. "You need to go to work, and I need to call Rosie. Have a good day, honey. Thanks for putting up with my crazy."

"Thank you for the mind-blowing blow job. I love you. I'll call later."

* * *

"So you went down on him in the shower and you got nothing in return. That doesn't seem fair," Rosalie said as she downward dogged over Lily.

"Sh," the new mother beside her hissed.

"Oh, shush yourself," Rosalie snapped. "Now, Bells, why aren't you getting any? Why isn't Edward satisfying your needs?"

Bella blushed as she arched into a cat pose. The stretching was relieving a lot of the pressure building up in her lower back.

"We need to see Dr. Dimitri first. With my blood pressure so high and my cervix a little thinner than it should be, he thought it best that we lay off, I gave Edward," she whispered the next word, "head, because I got him all riled up before work."

"Sh!" the woman said, only this time it was louder.

"Again, I say shush yourself! Give my poor girl a break. She's horny and she can't have sex."

One of the mothers across from them sat up and sighed. "I hear you! I couldn't have sex for the last four months of my pregnancy and I was so horny it was painful. The one time we slipped and cheated, along comes Lucas, five weeks early," she looked down at her little baby boy. "Yes, honey, Mommy and Daddy got out of hand and we bumped you right out."

Another woman to their left spoke up. "Oh, you poor things! My husband and I had sex daily up until the moment I went into labour. Man, those multiple orgasms were well worth the stretch marks, the gas, and the weight gain. I'm almost ready to start making another one."

The instructor cleared her throat. Bella blushed again and looked down at the floor. She felt bad for railroading the class.

"I'm sorry, Katrin."

"Why, Bella? I'm okay with you guys talking as long as you're stretching—at least for today's class. I have to say that my husband and I had an active sex life for the first child but I couldn't stand to have him near me for the second one."

And, so it went. As the women stretched their babies and themselves, they spoke candidly about sex and pregnancy. Bella felt a lot better in many ways when they packed up Lily and left. She didn't feel quite so alone in her frustration.

Oh how she prayed Dr. Dimitri would give them the go-ahead to have sex again, because if he didn't, Bella was positive she would spontaneously combust.

* * *

"Your blood pressure has definitely improved, Bella. I think you might be okay to increase your activity level, but not by too much, until we can establish that it won't shoot up again. I'd like for Edward to continue checking it. If it starts to go up, I want you back on bed rest immediately."

"Can I go back in the pool?"

"Only light exercise; no training for the Olympics Individual Medley Relay team and no racing Michael Phelps," he said, teasing. "The pool will be good for your back pain and reduce the amount of stress you're putting on your body. I say go for it."

"Dr. Dimitri, what about, uh, sex?" Edward asked.

The doctor laughed. "I was waiting for that question. I'm still concerned with the thickness of Bella's cervix. You can try some _light_ activity, see how that goes. No heavy pounding or marathon sessions. If you experience any bleeding or cramping I want you to stop immediately. Tread lightly here, Bella can't stand to have any further thinning of her cervix, got it?"

Bella nodded, beaming.

Edward grinned. "Thanks, Dr. Dimitri. Really. THANK YOU."

"Don't thank me until we get Bella through this."

"Look, I wanted to discuss the possibility that you may require a c-section for delivery. I am hopeful that you won't, but with the damage and scarring in your vagina, there is a chance it won't be able to accommodate the baby without causing further damage to you, or hurting the baby. Are you okay with a c-section if vaginal birth will be a problem?"

"I don't have much of a choice, do I? I'm okay with whatever you have to do to get Peanut out safely."

"Okay, here's some information about the procedure. Just in case you're able to deliver vaginally, I think you might want to start with perineal massage. Edward?"

"Yes, sir. I am familiar with it. We'll get started tonight."

"Any other questions?"

"No, sir."

"Alright, I guess I'll see you in a couple of weeks. Please keep an eye on the blood pressure and if you notice anything out of the ordinary, I want to know immediately, got it?"

"Yes, sir. See you in a couple of weeks."

They weren't even five paces from the office when Bella pinned Edward against the wall and kissed him.

"I NEED YOU NOW!" she growled.

"Uh, love, we're in a hallway, in the hospital. We can't do it here." He said, swatting at her. "You're getting Adam excited. I'm in scrubs. Remember the tent? I'm almost ready to go camping again."

"But, Edward," she whined, "I want sex NOW!"

"Wait until tonight, please."

"Ugh. Fine."

He bit down gently on her shoulder. "I promise I'll make it worth the wait." He peppered her neck and jawline with light kisses, his voice growing more sultry with each word. He was dripping sex, and her sex was dripping. "We'll do it soft and slow until we figure out how well you can tolerate it. I'll taste you, love you, and make you scream my name so loud the neighbours will hear it."

Bella shuddered and sighed as Edward rubbed her back.

"Now you go rest up so I can tire you out properly tonight."

* * *

_**Yeah, I know...fluff. **_

_**Okay, here's the deal. My birthday is Saturday and I'm going out of town tomorrow...back to Tidnish to spend my special (whatever) day with friends and family on the beach, making s'mores and burning hot dogs by the bonfire. Please pray for sun! The forecast is looking good, but a few extra sunny vibes would be appreciated. So this sadly means I won't be updating this weekend. I know, I know, I always update on the weekend, and unless I become a total social recluse and hide in my tent to write while everyone else is celebrating my birth (whatever), I probably won't be updating for another week. I'm sorry. :(**_

_**Please don't let my busy life and inability to update a million times a week deter you from reviewing or voting for my stories over on www dot indietwificawards dot com/vote dot aspx**_

_**Oh, and please keep coming up with the great outtakes ideas! I've had some great suggestions and I can't wait to get to work on them.**_

_**No worries, I won't drag Bella's pregnancy out forever. I'm getting too excited to meet Peanut. :)**_

_**I *heart* you guys. You make me smile.  
**_


	29. Ch 29 An Expensive Lemon

_**I'm so sorry for the delay in posting this chapter. As you know, I was away for the weekend for my birthday (thanks for the birthday wishes!), and I had one of the most perfect birthdays at the cottage ever! Good friends, beautiful weather (the sun was out! not a cloud in the sky!), and afternoon high tide. It was fantastic.**_

_**So, here's Chapter 29. Chapter 30 is almost finished (the hand-writing stage) and will hopefully be up over the weekend.**_

_**Again, I'm sorry for the delay.  
**_

_**A HUGE thank you to everyone who voted for **_**Branded and Road Maps_ in the Indie Twific Awards_**_**. Still waiting to hear if either story made the shortlist. I'll be begging for more votes if I do. :)**_

_**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, but thanks to my girl spookybell (and awesome Twilight Twinnie) I now own my very own Angstward action figure. Man, he looks angry and I love it!**_

When we last left them, Bella and Edward had been cleared to resume mild n tangy sexual activity (in lieu of hot n spicy) and she was relieved to have a little more freedom.

* * *

The house was silent save for the hum of the refrigerator and the ticking of the antique cuckoo clock in the living room. Edward felt a little uneasy by the lack of noise. Bella's car was in the driveway; perhaps she was sleeping.

"Bella? Bella? Are you home?"

"I'm in the studio."

Edward breathed a sigh of relief, walked in, and his jaw dropped. "Um, what...?"

There before him was Bella: naked but for a pair of boy shorts, her body covered in paint.

"What? I was feeling bad about myself. I thought I'd beautify my stretched canvas."

"I guess you did. Wow."

Bella had painted her body; her protruding belly was earthy tones, her breasts were lighter, brighter, and more ethereal. He noticed a camera on a tripod.

"Capturing the moment?"

"Yup. Would you mind shooting some close-ups?"

"My pleasure."

Edward unscrewed the camera from its mount and set about shooting some more intimate, closer shots, playing with depth of field and the macro settings.

Satisfied with the shots he'd taken, he remounted the camera, stripped out of his scrubs, and grabbed a paintbrush. He dipped it in some pain and added to Bella's skin canvas.

"Hey now," she said, grabbing another brush, "you are entirely too blank. Allow me."

Pondering her next move, she looked at her palate of gouache paints and at then again at Edward's bare torso. "Hmm," she said as she charged her brush with a blue-green mixture.

Very slowly, she ran the wet bristles across the tops of his cheekbones, enhancing the already mesmerizing emerald colour of his irises. Grabbing another soft-bristled brush from the old apple juice can on her desk, she mixed some grey, black and white, then ever so slowly, dragged it up and down his abs and chest.

Shuddering, Edward was overwhelmed by the feel of the brush and paint on his bare flesh at first, but quickly felt himself becoming more turned on. He reached over and tucked some hair behind her ear. She smiled at him briefly before resuming her strokes.

Closing his eyes, Edward gave himself over to the sensations, opening himself to feel each stroke, each line, each wet inch of paint applied to his flesh. "Bella," he said, his throat thick with lust. "Are you almost done?"

"Almost." She bit her lip, made a couple of extra swipes, then smiled. "There. You're done."

Edward looked down and struggled to see what she had painted. She turned on the self-timer and ran back to stand with him.

"It's a tree; strong, centered, deeply rooted, and beautiful. Just like you."

They did several poses together before Bella did some individual shots. When she finished, she led him to the bedroom to look in the full-length mirror.

"Wow," he said, admiring her work. It was, in fact, a very incredible tree she'd painted on him. It was weathered and bare, but strong just the same.

Pulling her into a hug, he whispered, "I love you."

"And I, you. Now, what were you saying earlier today at the hospital about making me tired tonight?" She winked at him.

"Well, I think we might need to shower first. Not only am I covered in paint but I'm coated in hospital sweat."

"Ew, that's so not sexy."

"So, shall we rinse off in the shower and hit the tub?"

"Oh, tub sex!"

"We'll try, Bella. Promise you'll let me know if anything feels off. Peanut is far more important than an orgasm or two."

"I know, Edward, trust me. I promise. I would never want anything to happen to Peanut."

"It's too early for you to go into labour. Chances are the baby would survive, but he or she could be physically and, or, mentally compromised."

Bella bit her lip. "I couldn't live with myself if _this_" she said, using air quotes, "hurt the baby in any way, shape or form. You must think I'm a monster. I've been so bitchy and whiny; you'll never want to make another baby with me again, will you."

He pulled her to his chest. "I want to make a million babies with you."

"I want to try this. We will both agree that neither one will get upset if it doesn't work."

"Agreed."

Edward turned on the shower and stepped in first, holding his hand out to Bella. They washed each other slowly, sensually. Edward paid special attention to her belly soaping it up lovingly, talking to Peanut as he washed away the paint.

Bella felt a sense of overwhelming love for her soul mate and her unborn child. "Edward?"

"Yes, love."

"My feet are swelling a bit, can we go to the tub?"

"Of course."

Edward turned on the water in the tub before escorting Bella to sit for a moment, wrapping her in a warm towel.

"I scoffed at Esme's heated towel racks but I have to say I'm glad she installed them for us. Feels nice." Bella said, snuggling into the towel. She watched the incredible nakedness of her blessing, her husband, as he finished preparing the bath.

"Ready, love?"

Frozen to her seat, Bella shook her head. "I'm a little scared. I don't want to jeopardize Peanut's safety. Can we just, I don't know, cuddle?"

"We can do whatever you want."

Helping her up and over to the tub, he stepped in first in order to help her get in. He sat down, making room for her between his outstretched legs. Hands firmly placed on her hips, he eased her down.

"Okay?"

Sighing happily, Bella held one of his hands to her mouth and kissed it. "Yes," she said, "I certainly am."

Reaching for his other arm, she wrapped them around her placing his hands on her belly and leaning back into him.

"Peanut's being active tonight," Edward said as he followed the baby's movements with his hands.

"Yeah, feels like a Gymboree going on in there. As frustrating as it can be, especially when I'm trying to sleep, I'm really going to miss it once the baby is born. I won't, however, miss being so big."

Edward began tracing the scars on her body. "I'm glad you decided not to have them removed."

"The scars? Why?"

"Because they're part of our lives."

"You just like the way they feel," she teased.

"Yeah, you're right. But then again, I love how all of you feels. All of you."

Heat trailed like vapours through Bella's body and she needed more contact with him. She tilted her head back to kiss him. What started out as a chaste kiss soon escalated into something a lot harder. Bella felt a surge and a need to dominate his mouth, nipping at his lips, stroking his tongue. She moved his hands over her wet body until they reached her swollen breasts. He tugged gently on her nipples, causing her to cry out. He moved his head down to nibble on her earlobe, inciting a moan.

"Edward?"

"Mm?"

"Nipples. Sore."

"Oh, sorry."

"S'okay," she hissed as one of his hands worked its way down to her swollen sex.

"You want me, don't you?" he said, more of a statement than a question.

"Mm...yes. Gentle."

"Always, love."

Edward gently entered her slick folds with his fingers, rubbing her lips and grazing her clitoris. "Is this okay?"

"Yes," she rolled her hips to increase the pressure, to encourage him further. He slid in one finger, then a second one, and slowly pumped them in and out of her.

"Harder," she begged.

"No, love; gentle, remember?"

He continued his slow rhythm and added a third finger, while his other thumb and forefinger gave her enlarged clit a tweak.

Bella cried out as the orgasm flashed through her, igniting a million stars and starting a chain reaction of somersaults from Peanut.

"Edward, stop," she panted.

"What is it? Cramping? Contractions?"

"No, I'm..." she took a couple of cleansing breaths. "I'm fine. Peanut's doing cartwheels, but we're fine."

"Why am I stopping?"

"It's my turn," she said smiling as she tried to turn around to take care of Adam's stiffness which was sticking into her back.

"No, love, tonight was your night. Let's not overdo it."

After thinking about it, Bella agreed. Edward got up, helped her out and to the bed where Bella fell asleep almost immediately.

* * *

"So you finally got some, did you?" Rose said as she backstroked beside a breaststroking Bella.

"Yeah, not the whole kit and caboodle, but a whole lot of kit and a little bit of caboodle," she replied, laughing.

"Good for you, Bells. Any problems?"

"A little tiny bit of cramping but nothing out of the ordinary."

"Awesome."

"Yeah, I'm just glad I'm allowed to do this again. I hated feeling so restricted. Well, I'm not in full work mode, but this is better than bed rest."

They reached the end of the lane, flip-turned and started back. "So, Rose, where exactly is Lily?"

Rose laughed. "She's at work with Daddy. He complained he never gets to show her off, so he's got her at the dealership for the hour. I figured she'll give him a run for his money so I asked Adam to videotape some of it in case it got interesting."

Bella snorted. "I want to see it if it's good."

"Oh, that shit's going on youtube if it's any good."

"Alright, two more laps and I have to go. I've got laundry to do and muffins to bake."

"Ah, here comes the nesting. Spread the love, would you? I could use some of your peanut butter banana chocolate chip muffins."

"Okay, I'll set aside a dozen for you. Race you?"

"Bella?"

"Fine, then how about a restrained, slow motion, sprint to the end?"

A wave of chlorinated water smacked her in the face. When she cleared her eyes, Rosalie was laughing at her. "You're on. Slowest one wins."

* * *

"Dr. Dimitri will see you now, Bella and Edward."

Nervously, Bella entwined her fingers with his as they walked toward the examining room. Edward squeezed reassuringly before closing the door and helping her into a gown. She sat atop the examining table and chewed on her fingernails.

"Bella?" he asked nodding toward her fingernail nubs.

"Sorry."

"It's going to be okay, love." He gave her a hug.

Dr. Dimitri walked in and smiled. "Someone's had sex."

Bella gasped. "How did you know?"

"I can tell these things because I'm that good," he said, chuckling as he grabbed a pair of rubber gloves and tossed them to Edward. "You're nervous, Bella. I just assumed that you had and your reaction confirmed it. So, any problems?"

"Well, sir," Edward said as he pulled on the gloves, "there weren't any contractions or pain, but Peanut went a little wild after Bella's orgasm."

Dr. Dimitri smirked. "When Bella had an orgasm-related rush of endorphins, so did the fetus."

"I wondered if the baby could sense her orgasm. Fascinating."

"Um," Bella said, waving, "Bella's right here. You can talk to her, you know."

"Sorry, dear. You know how we doctors get. So, Bella, how have you been feeling?"

She gasped as she felt Dr. Dimitri's gloved fingers begin to probe her. "Well, uh, I've been feeling good. I've been swimming, been to yoga, baking, finishing up the nursery..."

"Ah, so the nesting begins. What about blood pressure?"

"A little elevated, but not dangerously so," Edward answered.

"EDWARD! He was asking me," Bella said, swatting at him.

"Sorry, love."

"Edward, son, I believe you've been told," he laughed. "Come here, I want you to feel Bella's cervix. Dear, do you mind?"

"No, not at all, but please be gentle."

"Fine." He positioned himself between her legs and gently probed her. "Is this okay?"

"Yes."

"Okay, Edward, have you reached the cervix?"

"Yes, I believe so."

"What you are feeling is the cervix of a woman who should be four weeks further along than Bella is. If it feels any different in the next week or so, I need you to come back in immediately."

Big sigh from Bella. "Bed rest again?"

"No, but slow down, please, and I hate to say it, but no more sexual activity for the remainder of your pregnancy."

"Okay."

"Now, let me finish my examination and we'll go talk."

* * *

"So, what's the dealio, sweets?"

Bella sighed into her phone. "Well, Rosie, my cervix is still too thin, so no more sex and I have to ease up on the swimming and yoga. I hate to stop, so I'm still going to go but I'm going to pace myself a little more. At the rate I'm going, Peanut's going to be early."

"Did he say anything else about delivery?"

"Nothing he hadn't already said. He also mentioned that the baby was starting to turn. I'm only 32 weeks, Rose, Peanut's not ready."

"Maybe you should forgo the yoga?"

"I'm thinking I might have to. Oh, we're meeting with the hospital people about a water birth."

"I figured you'd have learned all you need to know when Lily was born, I mean, you were right there with me."

"To be honest, I don't remember much more than trying to keep Emmett focused and watch you go through it all without any drugs. Please be honest, how bad was the pain?"

"Can you hold that question for a second? Lily woke up. Just let me grab her, she's probably hungry."

"Okay, it'll give me a chance to go pee."

Bella waddled to the bathroom, peed, and when she stood up, the room started to spin.

"Shit," she said as she went down on her knees. She crawled back out to the phone. "Rose?"

"Yeah, sweets, what's wrong? Something sounds off."

"I need help."

"We've been telling you that for years, Bella," Rose said, chuckling.

"No, I really need help."

"What's wrong?"

"Dizzy. I need Edward."

"Hand tight, I'm coming right over."

Bella hung up, then hit #1 on speed dial.

"Bella?"

At the sound of Edward's voice, her voice threatened to crack when she spoke next. "Edward, I'm in trouble."

"What's wrong?"

"Dizzy. So dizzy."

"Where are you?"

She could tell that it was taking a lot out of him to remain calm as he spoke to her. She tried to keep from crying because she knew that it would upset him further. "Kitchen floor. Rose..."

"Bella? Bella? Are you there?"

"Meet me at the emergency room. Rose is coming."

"No, Bella, don't move. I'll be right there. DO. NOT. MOVE."

"Okay."

"Stay on the phone with me, love. Talk to me until Rosie gets there."

"Shit."

"What?" Edward's voice was clearly tainted with panic.

"Nothing."

"Don't nothing me, Isabella Marie Cullen."

She could hear him telling someone he had an emergency at home.

"Bella? Are you still there?"

"Yeah. Edward?"

"Yes, love."

"I'm sorry."

"Why? Why are you sorry?"

"I should have been less selfish. I should have stopped yoga and swimming. We shouldn't have done that in the tub."

"Please stop talking foolish like that, Bella. This isn't your fault."

She heard a car alarm chirp, the sound of a door opening and the sound of the Volvo starting quietly.

"I'm leaving the parking lot and I'll be home in a few minutes."

"Ow!"

"Ow? What happened?"

"Leg cramp. Oh, Rose!"

"Bella, is Rose there? If she is, can you put her on the phone?"

"Edward?"

"Yes, Rose. What's going on? How does she look?"

"Pale. She's white as a sheet, she's breathing funny and oh, hang on. She's got a leg cramp. Are you coming or should..."

"No, I'll be there in a minute or two. Help with the leg cramp and get her feet elevated. I'll be right there. Put her back on the phone, please."

Edward thought he heard her mumble something about being polite even during an emergency.

"Edward?" Bella said, weakly.

"I'm going to be there in a minute, love. Are you feeling any better?"

"No, not really. The room is still spinning."

"Okay, hang on. I love you."

"Love you more; see you soon."

Rosalie massaged Bella's leg, trying to ease the cramp. "Belly, are you okay? You're panting."

"No, I'm scared."

"Buck up, kiddo. I know you're having a hard time but this is not the time to get scared. This is when you need to be strong for you, Peanut and Prince Charming. Can you do it?"

"Yes."

"No more whining or blaming it on the hormones or yourself. You need to...oh crap, Lily honey, now is so not the time to be fussy."

"Go get her, I'm okay."

When Rosalie got up to get the baby, Bella silently begged her body to stop messing up. She closed her eyes and tried to centre herself.

A familiar hand cupped her face. "Bella?"

She opened her eyes and tried to focus on his green eyes. "Hi, baby."

"Why are you panting?"

"Hmm, I don't know. I didn't notice."

"Are you in pain?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Are you still dizzy?"

"Yes, very much so. It won't stop."

"Rose, can you grab a blanket from the closet? Bella, I'm going to check your blood pressure and then I'm going to get you to the hospital. I called Dr. Dimitri; he's going to meet us there."

"Okay."

"Don't be scared."

"I'm not."

Edward inflated the cuff and frowned as he released the air.

"How bad?" Rosalie asked.

"Not good." He took the blanket from Rosalie.

"Bella, I'm going to take you to the hospital now."

"Okay."

"Hang in there, sweets. I'll call the others."

"Thanks, Rose." Edward said as he picked up his wife.

* * *

The bright lights blinded Bella.

"Wake up."

"I'm trying," she grumbled. "Quit blinding me."

"That's a good sign," she heard Rosalie say, "she's grumpy. She'll be good as new in no time."

"What happened?"

Edward curled up on the bed beside her, rubbing her belly. "Your blood pressure went through the roof. You're at the hospital now."

"Peanut?"

"Peanut is perfect, still where he or she needs to be, but," Edward looked at Rosalie nervously before returning his weary gaze to Bella.

"But what?"

"Your cervix is even thinner than we thought. You're on total bed rest now. I'm sorry, love. You're going to be in the hospital for the remainder of your pregnancy."

"Okay."

Edward, surprised, looked deep into her brown eyes to see if she was truly okay with it. "You're really okay with it?"

"Rose and I had a discussion earlier and she brought up a good point; it's time for me to suck it up. Peanut is my number one concern, so if Peanut needs me to stay still then I have to stay still and I'm not going to spend my final weeks of my pregnancy being all weepy and miserable. I don't want to look back on this as having been a terrible experience, because it hasn't. As whiny as I've been, I've enjoyed being pregnant.

"I am, however, a bit disappointed we didn't get to do the photos and belly casting like we'd planned, but it's all small potatoes now. Peanut comes first."

Strong arms wrapped around her and she heard him take in a deep breath, inhaling her smell.

"There's a plus side to this," she said, cheerily. "I am closer to you while you work. Maybe you can pop in for lunch with me. Oh," she frowned. "Who is going to make your lunches? Who's going to feed the other residents? I promised them muffins."

"Don't worry about us, we'll all survive. Besides, if you have to eat hospital food, then so will I. We're in this together."

"I can cook dinner for you guys. I'll just make extra and run it over," Rosalie offered.

Bella smiled. "Thanks, Rosie, that would be great, but don't go out of your way for us. Oh, and no peanut butter and asparagus roll-ups, please."

"Look who's being all prissy, fussy pants," Rosalie joked. "Who died and made you princess?"

Bella yawned. "I'm pooped."

"Sleep, love, you've had a rough day. I need to go finish my shift. Buzz the nurse and ask her to page me if you need me. I'll wait until you're asleep before I go."

"Yeah, I need to go fee the poop monster before I start spraying milk everywhere or Em decides to try feeding her steak." She kissed the top of Bella's head. "He'll be by later to see you. I'll grab some clothes and books for you."

"My laptop—I need my laptop."

"Sure thing, sweets. Be good. I'll see you later."

Bed rest in the hospital would have been more painful and interminable had it not been for the many friends and family members occupying her time. The interns she had been feeding on a regular basis would stop in, bring her magazines, flowers, treats, even a bouquet of helium balloons. Dr. Black stopped by most days, still gushing over the painting she had done of his cottage. Dr. Carmen had been more than accommodating and the team working on the book projects had sent her several flower arrangements. Alice and Jasper hadn't been able to come visit but would be spending Christmas with them.

_Christmas, ugh._ Bella had hoped to do something special for their first Christmas as a married couple, but her plans had to change since she was trapped at the hospital, and she had to do all her shopping online with help from her sisters.

Edward rarely left the hospital, except to go home for clothes. He slept in the bed with her on his breaks and even on his rare days off he was with her.

December 23rd rolled around and started just like any other day until Edward and Rosalie arrived, smiling brightly.

"What's going on?"

"Merry Christmas, love." Edward walked to her side and gave her a kiss. "Merry Christmas, Peanut."

"Christmas isn't for two more days. I repeat, what's going on?"

"A little surprise. Here, let me help you up."

"Where are we going?"

Rose laughed. "It wouldn't be a surprise if we told you, now, would it?"

"I guess not."

They wheeled her down to the elevator, everyone smiling and waving to them. Bella wondered if the entire hospital knew what was going on. Traveling down to the basement, Edward wheeled her into a room set up with lights, cameras and backdrops.

"What the...?"

"You know the photoshoot you wanted? Well, since you couldn't go to the studio, we brought the studio to you. Now, let's get you ready."

Rosalie took Bella behind a curtain and began to prep her. She combed out her hair, then used a curling iron to create soft ringlets to frame her face. She used a light touch with the make-up, choosing to highlight Bella's eyes and her natural blush.

As soon as Rosalie was pleased with Bella's make-up, she helped her get into a pair of black boy shorts and out of her top.

"Topless?"

"You'll cover with your hands for some photos, I have a black tube bandeau for the others. We're going to start off with you in one of Edward's white dress shirts."

When Bella emerged, Edward was grinning at her. "You look absolutely incredible, love."

She blushed. "So do you." And he did. He was wearing a pair of black jeans and a matching white dress shirt, which was open and flashing his delicious body.

He helped her up from the wheelchair to sit on a stool. The photographer directed them in various poses; of them standing face-to-face, shirts open; staring into each other's eyes; then a series with Edward interacting with her belly—caressing, kissing, holding it, all while Bella looked on lovingly. She found herself crying a couple of times.

They reprised the same poses with Bella wearing the black bandeau and then with her covering her breasts with her hands.

Once they were finished there, Edward, Rosalie and the photographer rushed her down to another room.

"What the...?"

They were in a casting room. "You said you wanted a cast of your bump, so I pulled some strings and here we are. Melanie has been gracious enough to offer her services.

Melanie smiled. "Hi, Bella, hop on up and we'll get started. If it feels too uncomfortable or you experience any fetal distress, you let me know immediately."

Bella nodded, too dumbfounded to speak. She was in awe of her husband who had gone out of his way to make this special moment happen. As the tears slid down her cheeks, the photographer stood nearby, catching it all.

"Love, are you okay?" Edward said, wiping the tears from her cheeks. "Does it hurt?"

"No, I'm just so happy, so surprised. I can't believe you went to all this trouble for me."

He blushed. "I can assure you that this wasn't a purely altruistic act; I wanted to have photos of my incredibly sexy and beautiful wife glowing and carrying our baby. Can you fault me for that?"

"No, I guess not. Thank you," she said, pulling him close for a kiss. The photographer snapped away like a paparazzi.

"Any news from Jake and Leah?" Edward asked.

"No, which is strange. I guess with exams they must be too busy; I would imagine they'll be here soon."

"Okay, Bella, we just need to let it harden for an hour. Can you handle sitting still for that long?"

"Honey, I've been on bed rest for the past couple of weeks, what's another hour?"

"How about I grab us all something to drink?"

"Apple juice, please. With a straw."

"Man, Edward, you're creating a diva," Rosalie said, chuckling.

* * *

_**I hope this was worth the wait and no one is disappointed in the lack of action. As I mentioned, next chapter should be up on the weekend, and hopefully Peanut will reveal his or herself to us soon! I can almost feel the contractions now. :)**_

_**Big love to you all. I am still floored that so many of you have stuck around to read this story.  
**_


	30. Ch 30 Fa la la la la

**Oh my God! Two updates in 24 hours! This girl is crazy!**__

_**Yeah, I know, I'm insane, but I had a lot of the chapter already written and was struck by a muse this morning and snuck off and finished writing it at work. Shh...don't tell my boss. :)**_

_**I hope you enjoy this chapter and I hope you don't want to kill me when you're done reading it.**_

_**Stephenie Meyer owns a lot more than I do, including the Twilight Universe, but I still have my Angstward Action Figure.

* * *

  
**_

"Merry Christmas!"

Bella was startled from a dream by the sound of several voices all wishing her a Merry Christmas. Standing at the foot of her bed was her entire family: Carlisle and Esme; Alice and Jasper; Emmett, Rose, and Lily, and of course, Edward. Everyone was wearing matching, tacky, holiday-themed cardigans, just as they had every other year.

A half-asleep and very confused Bella replied, "Hi, I wasn't expecting all of this. Wow, where did that tree come from? When did you decorate my room? Uh, hi?"

"You already said that!" Alice said, bounding over and handing Bella a sweater of her own, before giving her a kiss on the cheek.

Carlisle and Esme were next with hugs and kisses, followed by everyone else. Edward pulled up the rear and planted a very hot kiss on her.

"Merry Christmas indeed," she whispered to him. "How did you pull this off?"

"I had the help of some elves and you sleep like a log so it wasn't really that hard. I hope that you like it."

"Oh, I do. Peanut's pretty excited too."

"Can I touch? Please?" Alice asked, jumping up and down.

"Sure, come on over. Anyone else?" she said, laughing.

Before she knew what hit her, the entire family was laying hands on her belly. "Someone should get a picture of this," she mumbled.

Edward ducked out and came back with a nurse and a camera.

"Aww, y'all are just too cute for words in your matching sweaters. Ready? Everyone say cheese!"

Everyone smiled for the first one, made silly faces for the second and pretended to strangle each other for the third.

"I think that last one should be next year's family Christmas card," Emmett said, laughing.

Esme and Alice motioned for Emmett to join them in the hall.

Bella was suspicious. "What are they up to?"

"You'll see," Edward said as he curled up beside her. "How're you feeling this morning?"

"I'm feeling pretty good. Actually, I'm famished."

"Breakfast will be here soon. Can I get you some juice or yogurt to hold you over until then?

"Apple juice, please."

"You've been drinking a lot of apple juice lately. I thought you liked orange."

"I do, but Peanut hates it," Bella scrunched her nose, making Edward laugh. "I won't miss that. I'm getting sick of apple juice."

Kissing her cheek, he got up, and went out to the mini fridge in the nurse's station and grabbed a glass of juice. The nurses were all gushing about his wonderful family and how blessed Bella was to have them. There were a couple of single mothers-to-be on the ward who had no family and were feeling kind of down.

Hearing this gave Edward an idea. He handed his black AmEx card to Bridget, one of Bella's favourite nurses, and asked her to go down to the gift shop and pick out some things for the other woman on bed rest. She smiled, gave him a hug, blushed a little and took off for the lobby.

Edward talked to Emmett for a moment before returning to Bella's room with her drink. Rose and Lily were in the bed with her, talking about baby things. She saw him come in and flashed him a big smile. A wave of love so big it made his heart swell came over him as he approached his wife. Setting down the drink he moved closer to give her a kiss.

"HO! HO! HO!"

Bella jumped two feet off the bed and grabbed onto Edward. Lily started to wail and Rosalie scowled.

"EMMETT! You scared Bella and your daughter. Are you pleased with your...oh, don't you look hot as Santa. Is that suit a rental?"

A chorus of disgusted cries of _Rose_! prompted her to blush and turn her attention from her hot Santa lover to her crying baby.

"May I?" Edward asked.

"Please," Rosalie responded, passing him the baby.

Edward cradled her and began to hum. Lily had stopped crying almost immediately.

"I hope he's that good with Peanut," Bella said. _I hope he looks that sexy with Peanut too_, she thought.

"Um, hello? Santa's here...I have presents...does anyone care?"

Handing Lily back to Rose, Edward addressed the group. "Bridget was just saying that there are a couple of moms on bed rest with no family. I asked her to go buy some things from the gift shop to give to them. Em, buddy, since you're already dressed like Santa, I thought maybe you could hand them out and maybe the rest of us could sing some carols."

Esme hugged her son. "You are just the sweetest boy a mother could want. Your heart is so big. Liz would be proud."

"Thanks, Mom. So, what do you all think?"

"I think it's a great fucking idea, bro!" Emmett bellowed, putting Edward in a head lock and administering a painful noogie.

"Language, Emmett Swan!" Esme scolded.

"Sorry, so shall we go spread some Cullen Christmas cheer?"

"Carlisle, can you grab a wheelchair for Bella, and Alice, can you go coordinate with Bridget on the presents?"

"Sure can, although I'm a little put out that you didn't ask me to do the shopping. Come on, Jazzy, let's get Santa sorted out before he starts swearing again and mom has a coronary."

Jasper shot them a weary look as Alice dragged him out of the room.

"Okay, now, Emmett, you can't be quite so loud and boisterous with these women. They don't know you and might mistake you for a homicidal lunatic from the third floor."

"Gotcha. Alright, are we ready to roll?"

A chorus of yeses rang out. Edward helped Bella up and into the wheelchair. They met up with Alice and Jasper in the hall, got room numbers from Bridget and off they went.

A young woman named Sophie was in the first room, lying on her bed looking sadly out the window. Emmett knocked on the door before entering. "Ho! Ho! Ho!"

She looked up, surprised at first, and then smiled. "Hi," she said shyly.

The rest of the family followed behind him and started singing _We Wish You a Merry Christmas_. Tears streamed down Sophie's cheeks as she listened to them sing.

"Thank you," she said hoarsely.

"Oh, we're not done yet. I heard that you've been a good girl this year. Santa's got something in his bag for you."

"What? Oh, no, you shouldn't have. I can't."

Bella wheeled herself forward. "You can. Please accept it—they don't understand that _no_ actually means _no_ when it comes to giving gifts. It makes it easier on all of us if you just accept them."

Sophie broke down and sobbed. "Thank you. I've felt so alone; I moved here with my boyfriend but he left me when I told him I was pregnant. My mother couldn't afford to be here; she lives in California. This is going to be my first Christmas by myself."

Esme moved to sit beside her and comfort her. "Shh, sweetheart, it'll be okay."

Sophie leaned into Esme's shoulder and cried. "Thanks, I miss my mom so much. I just want to go home. I..." she was so overcome she couldn't continue.

Esme waved them off. Emmett left the gifts on the bed before leaving.

The next room was home to Monique, another soon-to-be mom alone for the holidays. They sang some songs to her, making her cry.

"Man, are we singing off-key? We keep making them cry."

"No, Santa guy, you all sound beautiful. It's just it's been so hard being here. My husband is my only family and he's in Afghanistan. I'm worried about him and now about our sons." She rubbed her belly and smiled. "We're having twin boys. Anyway, it's just been hard being here alone over the holidays. Bridget, Doresta, Naomi, Hollie, and Storm have been angels, but they can only spend so much time with us.

"Thank you so much for this. You have no idea just how happy I am right now."

She smiled brightly through her tears and hugged each of them. "Bella, you can hang out with me any time you want."

"I will, I promise. Bed rest can be so boring."

Laura was in the next room and she was crying before they even had a chance to start singing. "Can you please sing _Silent Night_?"

"Of course," Edward replied.

They serenaded the young woman with her first request, then lightened the mood with a hilarious rendition of _I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus_.

By the time they left, Laura was laughing and begging Emmett to come back to hang out with her later.

"I need to eat," Bella said quietly. "Edward, can we go back to my room, please?"

"Of course, love, why didn't you say something sooner? Guys, you can continue to visit, I'll get Bella back to her room and get breakfast for her. We'll meet you later."

"Okay, we'll see you two in a while. I wonder if they would let us go visit the kids?" Emmett wondered.

Jasper suggested they go find out.

"I'm pooped!" Bella said as she crawled back into bed. "So, what's for breakfast?"

"Mom made the usual Cullen Christmas morning fare."

"Egg McEsmes?"

"Yup. Just let me heat them up and we'll be good to go."

"I'll eat them cold."

"You can have one cold one, I'll heat the other one up."

"Fine," she pouted, then giggled.

"Oh, here, open this present while I'm gone." He handed her a large, heavy, flat package. "Be careful, it's fragile."

Bella opened it slowly and gasped. It was one of the photos taken just two days prior. She was standing, one arm across her chest, the other in Edward's hair. He was kneeling before her, embracing her baby bump, looking up at her. Their gazes connected and burned into her; there was so much love in that moment.

"So?"

"Oh, Edward, it's beautiful. Thank you."

"There are so many beautiful photos from that day. I can't wait for you to see them all. We can pick out some more for around the house and to give to the family if you wish."

"My scars—they're...they look faded."

"That's because they are."

"Wow...I...wow."

They sat in silence as they looked at the photo until a deep rumble brought them back to the moment.

"Oops," she said, giggling.

"Oh, your sandwich. Eat up before Em gets back and eats them for you."

The rest of the family returned an hour later, all completely famished but glowing.

"We should do that every year. Those kids were so excited to see Santa coming in, even if I didn't have a lot of presents for them."

Rosalie sat down in a chair, hugging Lily to her. "All those sweet, sick children. We've got it so good." She kissed the top of Lily's head.

Esme came back to the room and handed out warmed Egg McEsmes to everyone.

"Ma Cullen, McDonald's could learn a thing or two from you when it comes to making Egg McMuffins." Jasper said, as he chewed.

"Carlisle, I hope you don't mind, but while you were up in the children's ward, I, uh, made some phone calls. I was so heartbroken by Sophie's situation, being alone and missing her mother, that I, well, I called her mother and bought her a return ticket to come be with her baby girl. Sophie doesn't know yet." Esme said, quietly. "I hope you aren't upset."

"Esme, darling, you are the kindest soul I know. Of course I'm not upset. When will she be arriving?"

"Considering it's so early in the morning, she was a little disoriented, so I'm going to call her back in an hour with the flight details. She'll be arriving early this evening. She didn't even know exactly where Sophie was. Seems she ran off with this young man, leaving no trace of her current whereabouts. She had feared the young man abused her daughter and had made her feelings toward him very clear, prompting Sophie to run away. She had been afraid her mother was mad at her all this time. Oh, you should have heard her crying, she was so relieved to know Sophie was safe.

"Bella, Edward, would it be okay if Kathie stayed with me at your house?"

"You're not going back?" Bella asked, hopeful.

"No dear, I'm not. I thought I would stay until Peanut arrives to help out. Carlisle will be going back on the 27th, but I will be staying on if you don't mind."

"Mind? Of course not! Kathie is welcome to stay with you as well. I've been staying here with Bella, as you already knew, so the house is empty. It's all yours."

"Thank you. I can't wait until Sophie sees her mother."

"Can we open some presents or what?" Emmett said. "Santa is sweating in this suit and it's starting to get funky in here."

"You can say that again," Jasper said, holding his nose.

* * *

Everyone left at lunchtime to go nap and prepare for Christmas dinner. Dr. Black had offered up a boardroom for them to use that evening. Esme had already cooked most of the meal, they just needed to bring it in.

Bella and Edward were napping when a quiet knock was heard at the door. Edward got up to see who it was and was tackled by a tall, dark-haired guy.

"Merry Christmas, Edward!"

"Jake?"

"Yup. Oh shit, we woke you up. Sorry. Do you want us to come back?"

"No, no," he said quietly. "Hi, Leah!"

"Hi, Edward, how's Bella?" Leah replied, her voice barely a whisper. She gave him a hug.

"Leah?" he said, looking down.

"Pregnant," she whispered happily. "Can you believe it?"

"How far along?"

"About four months. It's twins!"

"WHAT? You're pregnant, Leah?" Bella said, groggily as she rubbed her eyes. "Excuse me? Did I hear that correctly? Twins?"

Leah ran over to the bed and hugged her. "Yes! Twins! I still can't believe it. There's no logical explanation for how it happened."

"Well, we kind of did it a lot, babe," Jacob said, smiling and winking at her.

"Smart ass," she said back to him.

"Oh, Leah, that's fantastic. I'm so happy for you!"

"We think they might have been conceived when you were on your honeymoon," she said shyly. "You guys must be our lucky charms."

Bella scooted over so Leah could hop up on the bed with her. She linked her arm with Leah and gave her a squeeze. "I'm so glad you're here."

"Us too," Jacob said, leaning against the wall. "Things have been all kinds of crazy at school. Leah's been sick and...oh, crap—Leah, the present."

"Oh yeah! Edward, I hope you don't mind but...well, you'll have to watch and see. I really hope you like it."

Jacob placed a DVD in the player Edward had brought in for Bella. The screen flickered before Leah could be seen standing in front of an orchestra.

"Hi, Edward, Bella and Peanut! I hope you don't mind but we wanted to see how _Bella's Lullaby_ would sound with a full, well, near-full orchestral arrangement. So, we present to you, _Bella's Lullaby_, composed by Edward Anthony Masen Cullen."

The conductor clicked his baton on the music stand, counted out the beat to pace the musicians, then it began.

Edward was in shock. His mouth hung open and he totally lost the ability to formulate the smallest of words.

"But..oh my..." Bella stammered beside Leah.

It was more incredible than Edward ever imagined it could be. It was just, wow. When it concluded, as the final notes dissipated in the auditorium and the musicians had lowered their instruments, they all stood up and applauded.

"Thank you, Edward," on-screen Leah said. "Thank you for sharing your heart and soul with us. We hope we did it justice."

The entire group began shouting out thank yous before the screen faded to black.

"I wanted to use a star-wipe to end it, but Leah said that was tacky."

"So?" Leah asked nervously. "You've been so quiet. What do you think?"

Edward turned to face the bed and wiped a tear from his cheek. "I'm going to let Sapward answer you because, wow, I'm moved. I'm truly moved. It was more than I ever imagined it could be. But why? Why my song, or rather, Bella's song?"

"Why? Because it's the most honest, rich, and exquisite piece I've heard in a long time and to be honest, I had a selfish motivation; I wanted to hear it with all the layers. I really hope you don't mind. My professors were blown away by it; they wanted me to push you to have it published."

"I'm truly floored. Thank you doesn't even begin to cover just what I'm feeling right now." He walked over and hugged her.

"It was our honour, really. _Bella's Lullaby_ is now the focus of my honours thesis."

"Really?"

"Leah did most of the initial arrangement, her profs and classmates incorporated it into the curriculum and it's been a collaborative effort."

"You arranged this, Leah?"

A wave of pink flooded her cheeks. "Yes."

"Thank you."

"You can keep the DVD and I made some CDs for you." She rummaged around in her bag and pulled out an envelope. "You don't have to decide now, but we transcribed it. Here is the sheet music for _Bella's Lullaby_. One of my professors would like to speak to you about publishing. His phone number is there."

"Wow." Edward didn't know what to say.

"Merry Christmas," Leah said, smiling.

Bella had an idea. "Are you guys busy for Christmas dinner? We'd love to have you join us here tonight. Your dad gave us permission to use a boardroom. I'm sure there'll be more than enough food."

"Oh, we couldn't impose."

"Please come. Bring your dad too, Jake."

"We'll ask him. No offense, Bella, but you look exhausted. We'll let you go back to sleep. Give us a call when you wake up."

After hugs were exchanged, Bella went back to sleep while Edward watched and re-watched the DVD Leah had given him, still very much in awe that something he composed so long ago to soothe his love during her nightmares had become something so beautiful.

There was a full house for dinner. Dr. Black, Jacob, and Leah joined them as well as Bella's neighbour, Sophie. Everyone talked and ate heartily. They took turns passing Lily around and doting on her.

Just as pie was about to be served they heard a knock at the door. Esme jumped up, grinning from ear-to-ear. The big surprise was here.

"Sophie?" An unfamiliar voice said.

Sophie turned around and screamed. "Momma!"

Kathie ran toward her daughter, tears streaming down her face. "Oh, Sophie! My baby girl!"

The heart-warming reunion left no dry eye in the room.

"But how?" Sophie asked.

"You've got a guardian angel, dear," Kathie said, smiling at Esme. "My god, it's such a relief to see you! I'm so sorry I couldn't have been here sooner."

"I'm sorry I ran off. I didn't think you would want to see me," she broke down. "He didn't want me to call you, he wouldn't let me use the phone, and then when he left, I was scared you were still mad at me and wouldn't want to talk to me."

Bella felt Edward pulling his hands into fists. She squeezed his thigh reassuringly. This was hitting a little too close to home and re-opening a fresh wound. It was no wonder Esme felt so compelled to help this girl, she must have reminded her of her sister, Elizabeth.

"Why don't we go back to your room, sweetie? There's so much to talk about."

Sophie was absolutely glowing. "Yes, Momma. God, I'm so happy I could burst."

They went back to Sophie's room, leaving the rest to finish dessert and sit around complaining about eating too much.

After saying goodnight to everyone and trying to convince Emmett and Jacob that a good-natured wrestling match wasn't such a good idea, Bella and Edward went back to her room.

"Time for my present for you, Edward."

"You didn't have to..."

She cut him off with a finger on his lips, which he kissed lightly. "I know I didn't have to, I wanted to. This isn't the Christmas I had envisioned, but I think it's actually better than anything I could have ever planned.

"This isn't much, but I hope you'll like it."

Edward opened a box. Inside was a t-shirt that said: FILF.

"FILF?"

"MILF for men. _Father I'd like to..._"

"Say no more," he said, laughing.

Underneath the t-shirt was a long, narrow, flat box. When he opened it, his eyes widened.

"It's a Rolex, Bella. You bought me a Rolex? I thought you said that it wasn't much?"

"Please read the inscription."

_Til the end of time B&E_.

"Thanks, love. I'll forgive the extravagant nature of this gift because of the sentiment behind it. I love it, but not as much as I love you."

"Merry Christmas, Edward."

"Merry Christmas, Bella."

* * *

New Year's Eve passed quietly with Bella and Edward spending the night alone in her hospital room, sharing a sweet kiss at midnight and a toast to a healthy Peanut in the coming weeks.

* * *

A sharp pain pulled Bella from a deep sleep. She cried out to a dark and empty room. When no one came, she reached for the call button on her bed.

"Hi, Bella," it was Bridget. "What can I do for you?"

"Edward!" she cried out. "Get Edward. Something's going on. Bridget, please! Hurry!"

"I'm on it, and I'll be right in."

Bella panted as she tried to get some air in her lungs. The pain had sucked the air right out of her. She rubbed her belly in an attempt to calm Peanut down. "Sh, sweetie, it's going to be okay."

Bridget flew through the door and turned on the light. Bella flinched at the assault of bright fluorescent light, but was quickly distracted when another sharp pain tore through her.

What happened next was a blurry, flurry of activity. Edward was by her side in no time; Dr. Dimitri was examining her; Bridget was hooking her up to heart and fetal monitors, IVs and an oxygen mask was put over her mouth and nose.

Edward spoke to her in soothing tones, whispering in her ear that everything was going to be okay, that he loved her. She thought she heard him ask someone to call Esme and Rosalie to come.

Pulling the mask off her face, she asked if Peanut was coming.

"Yes, love, Peanut is coming."

"It's too soon! It's not time!" She began to panic.

"It'll be okay, Bella. Thirty-six weeks is okay. We can't stop it now; your cervix is effaced—there's no stopping it. I need you to be calm now; the baby can feel your anxiety. Take deep, cleansing breaths. Breathe through the pain."

"What about an epidural?" Edward asked, hopeful. Watching Bella writhing around in so much pain was breaking his heart.

"It's too late for the epidural. She's progressing too quickly."

Rosalie and Esme burst through the door. Bella started to cry when she saw them.

"Peanut's coming."

"It's okay, sweetheart, we'll get you through it," Esme said, taking Bella's free hand.

"I'm sorry," she said to Edward.

"Enough with the _I'm sorry_ bullshit_,_ Bella. Why are you sorry now?"

"I'm scared. I know I said I wouldn't be, but I am."

Rosalie spoke up. "It's okay and very normal to be a little scared, just don't let it taint the moment. Bells, baby, you're going to be a mom!"

Esme pushed the wet hair back from Bella's forehead. "It's going to be fine, you'll see."

"Okay. Oh FUCK!" she yelled.

Dr. Dimitri asked to speak with Edward. "Son, I don't know if we should let her try for the vaginal birth. I don't know if it's going to work and I'm concerned it could harm both of them. Do you want to discuss this with her?"

"EDWARD!" Bella cried out.

"Do what you have to, don't let anything happen to them. Please."

Returning to her side, Edward took her hand and began to whisper to her. "Bella, love, Dr. Dimitri has suggested that you have a c-section. I know you wanted a water birth but that's not feasible. We discussed this before. Are you still okay with that?"

"Yes," she said, her eyes full of pain and fear. "Do what you have to, please. Oh God, it hurts!"

"The baby isn't in the right position, dear, that's why you're experiencing so much pain," Dr. Dimitri said. "Bridget, can you please have them prep the operating suite, stat? We need to get Bella in there sooner than later."

Edward kissed the top of her head. "I love you."

Bella replied with another scream.

Dr. Dimitri stood beside Edward, smiling reassuringly at her. "We'll get everything sorted out, Bella, I've got the anaesthesiologist on his way to try the epidural. I don't want to put you under for this if at all possible, but I really don't think we've got enough time. Try to relax until we get the spinal done."

"Okay," she panted. "Please do what you have to."

"Bella, it's time," Bridget said as she and Edward helped get her from the bed to the gurney.

Her family gathered around to hug and kiss her. As anxious as she was to finally hold Peanut, she didn't want to leave the safety of her family.

"We love you, dear. Your Mom and Dad will be watching over you," Esme said. "It's going to be fine."

"Be safe, Belly. I love you," Emmett said, hugging her.

"You're going to be okay, sweets. We love you."

"Thanks, Rose. I love you guys."

"We have to go. The baby's heartbeat is irregular," Bridget said as she and Edward pushed Bella out the door.

Bella's recollection of the events that transpired next were hazy and almost non-existent. She remembered the cold air of the operating room; the shivers that tore through her body; the sound of Edward's voice and him begging with her to stay.

_Stay, _she thought, _where would I go? Was I going somewhere? I'd never leave you, Edward._

"We're losing them!" were the last frantic words she heard before the dark swallowed her.

* * *

There were no words Edward could find to express what he was feeling. The last hour had been, by and far, the most intense and insane moments he had ever experienced. All he could do was cry.

Bridget led him from the operating suite to his worried family. When they saw him, they all immediately started to cry. He wished he had taken off his bloody scrubs.

Exhausted, he collapsed into his mother's arms and wept. Unable to speak, he just let the sobs tear through him. Esme ran her hands through his hair, in an attempt to soothe him. "Sh, sweetie, we're here. What happened? How's Bella? Peanut?"

It was another interminable five minutes before he was able to speak. "We lost Bella—"

Everyone gasped.

"We got her back, though. She bled out; she was haemorrhaging. They're stabilizing her now. Dr. Dimitri is hopeful that he won't have to do a hysterectomy. I told him to do whatever he needed to make her live. We don't have to have more children; we can adopt. I can't lose her. Not now."

"And the baby?" Rosalie asked.

Edward looked at her, his eyes shining through the tears. "It's a boy!"

* * *

**_I'm dodging the projectiles being thrown in my general direction after leaving the chapter like this, but at least we know that PEANUT IS FINALLY HERE! We'll get to know him a littl more in the next chapter._**

**_I hope you enjoyed this one. There aren't many left to come. I think it's about time to put Road Maps in the glove compartment and move on._**

**_Thanks for the wonderful reviews and the love. I keep saying it and I'll say it again, you guys are the only reason I'm writing this story. :)  
_**


	31. Ch 31 A Peanut By Any Other Name

**SM owns Twilight. I am still having entirely too much fun with my Angstward doll.**

_**So, for those of you who are ready to kill me for the happenings at the end of the last chapter, I beg your forgiveness and implore you to set down your projectiles. Hopefully this chapter will make up for it a bit.**_

_**Please check out the end notes at the bottom of the page. **_**Branded _and_ Road Maps _have been nominated for some other awards (we didn't make the short list for the Indies), the info will be at the bottom._  
**

_**Are you ready to meet the newest little Cullen?**_

_**

* * *

  
**_

_A baby was crying. Why was the baby crying? Was that my baby? Peanut? What's wrong with Peanut? Why can't I move? Edward—I can feel you there, why is our baby crying? Why won't my body move? Why can't I see? _

_Oh my God, I died._

_I'm dead!_

_NO!_

_

* * *

_

"I'd like to present to you the latest addition to the family, Peanut Cullen," Edward said, cradling his tiny son in his arms.

Esme held her arms out and took him. "Oh, you precious little angel. You look just like your daddy did when he was a tiny little baby," she looked up at Edward, eyes brimming with tears. "He's got a lot of hair for a pre-term baby."

"He's got his mommy's nose and lips," Rosalie cooed. "Why are you still calling him Peanut?"

A big, sad sigh came as an initial response. "Bella and I hadn't come to a final decision on the name. I don't want to make this call without her."

He turned and walked toward her empty bed. "This is really something we needed to do together. I can't do it alone."

Emmett put his arm around Edward's shoulder and gave him a brotherly squeeze. "It'll be okay, bro, we'll get you through this."

Bridget came into the room. "Hi, guys. Oh, hi there, Peanut—aren't you a handsome little boy." She said quietly as she ran a hand gently over his head, smiling. "I just wanted to let you know that they're finished with Bella. You'll be able to see her shortly."

"How is she?" Edward asked, tensing up.

"She's a fighter, Edward, you know that. I have every faith that she'll be up and on her feet again in no time. She'll need some help, though, but with a family like yours, she'll do just fine. Dr. Dimitri will be in to speak with you soon."

Edward hugged her. "Thank you, B. Thank you so much."

"I'm heading home, but Storm and Hollie are coming on. I'll pop in to check on you tomorrow."

Bridget fussed over Peanut for a few seconds and left. A minute or two later they heard someone coming down the hall. A bed entered the room and they soon saw a very pale Bella lying prone, tubes and lines running out of her.

Rosalie gasped and hid her face in Lily's blanket, Emmett cursed under his breath. Carlisle, who had just then arrived, held on to Esme, and Edward released a breath he didn't realize he had been holding. He took Peanut from Esme and watched as they reconnected his beautiful wife to the monitors and lines.

"No breathing tube?" he asked the orderlies, surprised, as the last time he'd seen her they were intubating her.

"She's tough, Edward. If she starts to deteriorate and her 02 sats drop, we'll have to put it back, but for now, she's holding her own. Dr. Dimitri was behind us, he should be here any minute. Congratulations, by the way. What's his name?"

"Nathan."

"What? Bella? Did you just say Nathan? Are you awake?"

Again, as light as a whisper in the wind, Edward heard her say _Nathan._

"Oh my God, Bella, you're okay!" Edward knelt beside the bed and held Nathan to his mother. "Bella, honey, can you open your eyes and see our amazing son?"

She squinted.

"Someone turn down the lights!" Edward ordered. Carlisle flipped the switch.

Bella slowly opened one eye, then the other, and took a moment to adjust to the light. She turned her head so she was facing her two boys, her husband and her son. Nathan was beautiful like his father. Her heart swelled and sped up; which was soon reflected in the heart monitor, which went crazy. Storm and Hollie ran in, but smiled when they saw why they were reacting the way they were. They left the room.

"Edward?" Bella whispered. "Is he okay?"

'He's tiny, but he's perfect, love. He came out screaming. They were afraid his lungs weren't ready, but boy were they ever."

"Am I okay?"

He cupped her pale cheek with one hand. "You're going to be fine. Oh my God you scared me so bad, Bella," Edward said, his voice wavering, "don't ever do that to me again. I couldn't live without you and now we have Peanut, I mean, Nathan. You have no idea how terrifying it was to watch you die."

Bella ran her fingers weakly through his hair and watched as her husband fell apart. Esme took the baby from him so he could crawl into the bed with Bella. He held her to him and cried.

"You died, Bella. You left me."

She choked out her next words. "But I came back."

"Please don't leave me again."

"I won't. Please stop crying, Edward."

"I hate to interrupt, but we need to talk," Dr. Dimitri said as he stood at the foot of her bed, looking over her chart.

"Is everything okay?" Edward asked, nervously.

"Well, I'm sure you'd both agree that that was a delivery fraught with complications. I'm sure Edward has informed you that you coded; you lost a great deal of blood, until we were able to replace the volume lost, you were pretty much dead. We transfused you with several pints of blood and were able to revive you.

"The major complication we encountered was placenta accreta. The placenta was firmly attached to your uterus and rooted in the endometrium. In a typical birth, the placenta separates easily, naturally, with little to no intervention. Yours would not; we had to go in and remove it. As I mentioned, you lost a great deal of blood and there were further complications when removing the placenta because it was anchored so deeply. It came down to whether we save you or your uterus."

"You chose me," Bella whispered.

"Yes."

"I had a hysterectomy? I won't have any more babies?"

"Well, as a medical professional we aren't always encouraged to speak of miracles, but just as we were about to do the procedure, the bleeding stopped, we were able to safely remove the placenta without incurring too much damage and I'm pleased to say that you came out of surgery intact. Sure you'll have a large scar from the incision and you will have to have a c-section for any future children, but you should be okay to carry a child should you conceive again."

Bella began to cry silently. Edward held her and wept his own tears of joy.

"Everything looks good. Bella, you're a strong, young woman. You've got a bumpy road ahead of you, but I believe you'll pull through just fine. Now may I please hold the baby? I haven't had a chance to look at him—he's pretty much been nothing but a statistic to me."

"A statistic?" Esme asked as she passed her grandson over to the doctor.

"Baby boy Cullen; born January 3rd, 16h38m; six pounds, one ounce; 17 inches long," he said, smiling at the baby. "Oh, you are a beautiful little soul, aren't you. Have you named him?"

"Nathan Charlie Cullen," Bella whispered, looking to Edward for approval. He nodded.

"Any particular reason? Most people have one for choosing a particular name."

"Nathan means _gift from God_, which is what he is; he's our little miracle; and Charlie was Bella's father's name."

"Well, happy birthday, Nathan Charlie Cullen. You had a bit of a bumpy start, but you come from exceptional parents and I have every confidence that you will be an outstanding person. My God, those hazel eyes—he is a wise old soul, isn't he?"

Dr. Dimitri handed him back to Edward. "Bella, you need your rest. When you're ready, we'll have the breastfeeding coach come in. I believe that Chae's on duty today."

"Thank you, Dr. Dimitri, for everything." Edward said, his eternal gratefulness shone in his eyes.

"It was my pleasure, son. Congratulations."

Bella slept off and on for the next couple of hours; she was unable to stay awake long enough to hold her son in her arms. She woke up at one point and heard him crying softly.

"Edward?" she asked, still very much exhausted.

"Yes, love."

"He's hungry, isn't he?"

"Yes, I believe he is."

"Please call in Chae. I want to try to feed him."

Edward left for a moment and returned with Chae and Storm. The lingering family members cleared the room when they entered, preferring to let them have this private moment alone. Emmett leaned over and whispered to her when the others left.

"He's beautiful, Belly. Mom and Dad would be so proud of you and him."

Fresh tears cascaded down her face. "Thanks, Emmy."

"Promise you won't die on me again? I couldn't bear to lose you."

"I'll try not to."

"Love you, Belly."

"Love you too, Emmy."

Edward got back on the bed with her and held Nathan while Chae and Storm prepared her and helped her get into a comfortable position. She was in a lot of pain, and was still very weak.

Bella cried when he was placed in her arms for the first time. "You're really here," she whispered, "I can't believe you're really here; my baby, my sweet, sweet angel boy. You must be starving, little one."

Edward and Storm helped her situate her gown, exposing her swollen breasts. Chae helped position the baby at the nipple and showed Bella several ways of encouraging him to latch on.

"Oh!" Bella squeaked as he took his first pull. "Now that feels strange."

"You're both doing great," Chae said, quietly. "He's really taking to it. All this milk is good for him, especially since he's so early. It will help him develop a strong immune system and give him the nutrients he needs to grow."

"My arms are getting tired," Bella said, so quiet they hardly heard her. "I'm scared I'm going to drop him."

"I don't want you using the feeding pillow for a couple more days because of your incision. Edward, why don't you give her a hand. This is a great opportunity for some family bonding."

"Storm?"

"Yes, Bella?"

"Can you please take a photo? I'm not sure where the camera is, but I'd like a photo please."

"No problem."

She found the camera and snapped a few photos of the new family sharing a very intimate moment.

Bella went to thank her, but fell asleep before the words could come out.

"My girl is exhausted. Sleep, love."

* * *

A cold cloth on her forehead pulled Bella from the deep sleep she'd been having.

"Shh, it's just me, dear," Esme said, smiling at her. "You've got a bit of a fever. Does the cloth help?"

Bella nodded. "Where's...?"

Esme pointed to the recliner by the window where a shirtless Edward was asleep with Nathan resting on his bare chest. She was so moved by this tender scene that Bella's heart nearly exploded. "Please tell me you took a picture," she said to Esme.

"Several, dear. Storm suggested the skin on skin contact would be good for Nathan. So, how're you feeling? Are you in any pain?"

"Moderate. I'm just so tired."

"Sleep, dear, you need to sleep to heal. The doctor wants you up walking today. You need to clear your lungs."

"Can I wait a little while?"

"Yes, sweetheart. Go back to sleep for a while." Esme ran the cold cloth over her face again, inciting a sigh from Bella.

* * *

_How could someone so tiny, so fragile, so beautiful take hold of my heart so easily?_ Bella mused as she watched her precious son suckle. He opened his eyes and stared at her as he ate; his incredible hazel eyes boring into her, straight through her soul and she knew now, more than ever, that he was her _Nathan_, her gift from God.

"Are you crying again, Belly?" Emmett said as he entered her room.

"Shut up, Emmy. I'm just so happy. I can't stop looking at him, he's just perfect."

"He is a handsome little fella, but that hair! You can really tell he's Edward's kid, can't you. But don't worry, I couldn't stop staring at Lily for a long time, in fact, I still stare at her and am amazed that I helped make something that cute. Rosie says that I made the bottom half because she's a little poop monster, but I think she's got the Swan nose, just like little Nathan does."

Bella laughed as she twirled a lock of his unruly bronze hair on her finger. "He certainly is his daddy's boy."

"So, I'm here to take you walking."

"Oh, it's your shift now?"

"Yuppers. As soon as the Little Prince falls asleep, we'll go do a lap around the ward."

"I don't want to leave him here alone," Bella said, alarmed. "What if someone were to steal him?"

Emmett laughed. "Esme's in the next room chatting with Kathie and Sophie. Did you hear that Sophie had her baby last night?"

"NO! Oh my God, what did she have?"

"A girl. She named her Esme."

"No way! Wow, that's incredible. Esme must be thrilled."

"She is. Sophie was so thankful for Esme's orchestration of the reunion with her mother that she named her baby after her. Rightfully so, Esme should be sainted for everything she's done."

"True that, Brother Bear. Can you please go get her and see if she'll watch Nathan?"

"Sure thing."

Esme returned, beaming. "Good afternoon, sweetie. Did you sleep well?"

"Like a log."

"Good," she walked over and put her hand to Bella's forehead. "You're not burning up as bad, that's a good sign. So, is Emmett taking you for a stroll?"

"Sure am," he said proudly.

"Be gentle with her, son. She's still very weak."

"I will. Hand over my nephew and let's get going."

Bella reluctantly handed over the baby to his grandmother. She slowly shifted her weight in the bed, wincing.

"Need a hand?" Emmett asked.

"Please," she replied through clenched teeth. She held out her hands.

Emmett and Bella walked slowly down the hall. She held on to him with one hand, her IV pole in the other. It was difficult at first, but she found it got easier with each step. At the halfway point she asked to stop for a moment.

"How's Edward doing?" she asked him.

"What do you mean? You see him more than I do."

"I know he was pretty messed up during the delivery with me, uh, you know."

"Dying?"

"Um, yeah, that. Has he said anything? I mean, he won't really talk to me about it, I was hoping maybe he'd opened up to someone else about it."

Emmett shook his head as if trying to shake away a bad memory. "He was destroyed when he came out of the operating suite. Completely shattered. Took him ten minutes to calm down and what did he say? What were his first words? Not, _it's a boy, hurray!_ No, it was _we lost Bella_. _We_ fucking _lost Bella. _He was crying so hard he couldn't continue.

"We all lost our shit. We thought you were gone, and then he says they got you back. I could have punched the little shit right then and there. Why couldn't he have come out and said, _it's a boy, there were complications, but Bella will be fine?_

"Do you know how in that one moment, three words killed a part of each of us? _We lost Bella_, he says. Stupid shithead."

The last part was a whisper, but she heard it. She felt terrible that they had spent even a nanosecond thinking she'd died, but she couldn't be mad at Edward. It was true, she had died, obviously it had traumatized him.

"Let's keep walking."

Taking her arm, he led her around the corner where he stopped again and gave her a hug.

"Belly, please, please, please, don't scare us like that again."

"I'll try, Emmy."

* * *

There were voices in the room. One she knew immediately, and the other she thought she was hallucihearing. She opened one eye and gasped.

"Victoria! What are you doing here?"

"Baby girl just had a baby boy, and what a handsome one he is," she cooed at Nathan. "I hopped on the first flight I could get after rearranging some clients. You didn't think I could stay away, could you?"

"Oh, oh, here come the waterworks again. Geez, I can't stop crying. Come here, please. I'd go hug you but it would take me twenty minutes to get out of bed."

Victoria pulled Bella into a firm hug, making her wince.

"Oh, Bella, I'm sorry. I forgot about your incision. Speaking of which, how're you doing?"

"I'm sore, but doing okay. Edward, honey, could you please pass the baby over? He's probably ready to eat."

Edward walked over and passed the nursing pillow to her, then gently placed his son on it. He kissed her quickly. "I have to head back to work for a while. I'll see you two later. Love you," he said, giving her a kiss. "Love you too, little buddy."

Victoria pouted mockingly. "What about me?"

Laughing, he kissed the top of her head. "Love you too, Victoria."

"Thanks, Prince Charming."

Bella giggled as she prepared to feed the baby. She exposed a breast and teased his tiny little mouth with her nipple. He hesitated at first, but then latched on.

"My God, you two make beautiful babies, but then again, I knew you would." She lovingly caressed his cheek.

Bella leaned on Victoria, who had joined her on the bed. "I'm so glad you're here. I miss you, you know."

"I miss you too, baby girl. You'll have to come visit soon."

"We will. Esme and Carlisle have a right to show off their grandson. Wait until you meet Lily. She's a stunner. I think Em's going to have his hands full with her."

"So, really, Bella, how are you doing? Edward told me what happened."

"Oh, shrink-mode time already?"

Victoria nodded. "Shrink-mode with an ample amount of concerned friend."

"I don't know. It all happened so fast. I had bad pains, there was a commotion, I was wheeled off, it was cold, I was shivering, Edward was trying to reassure me that everything was okay, then he was begging me to stay with him but I didn't understand. Where was I going? I think he was crying."

Bella's eyes were closed, tears were streaming down her face. "The next thing I remember is hearing the baby crying and not being able to get to him. I thought I had died."

Victoria cupped Bella's cheek, wiping away a tear as it raced down her pale cheek. "You did die very briefly. I'm so relieved that you're okay. That's what matters—that you lived."

"I'm worried about Edward. Emmett was saying that he was totally shattered. He's scared he's going to lose me again. We've had so many near misses over the years, I think he's even more worried because this time it really came close—too close.

"I'm tired of the drama, Victoria. I want a normal life with my husband and my son. I don't want anymore near-death experiences, abusive fathers and rapists, no more drama. I don't want anymore scars. I want to heal and move on. I don't want my son to live like we have. I don't want him to know fear ever."

"That's not an unreasonable desire, Bella. I think that this might be the beginning of your _normal_ life."

Bella switched the baby to her other breast and hummed gently when he began to fuss. "I'm scared I'm going to ruin him."

"Ruin him, how?"

"I don't know."

"I highly doubt you'll ruin him. You'll probably spoil him rotten, or at least Alice will, but you're going to be a fantastic mother, baby girl. You've been through a lot, yes, but through it all you've maintained your ability to love and to trust. So trust in your instincts and you'll be fine."

Nathan began to fuss again. Bella held him, smelled the top of his head, and sighed. "He makes me want to be a better person, a stronger one."

"Geez, if you get any stronger, you'll turn into the Incredible Hulk!" Victoria said, laughing. "Here, let me take him. Maybe he needs his diaper changed."

"Thanks, Victoria. Oh, would it be totally out of line if I asked for a favour?"

"Changing a dirty diaper isn't favour enough?" she teased.

"The girl in the room next door, Sophie, she's been through a rough patch and they can't get her to talk about it beyond the superficial. I thought maybe the two of us could pop in sometime and have a chat with her. She might respond better to us, than to the hospital therapist."

"Ooh, tag-team therapy. Count me in!"

Edward met Victoria in the hall when he got off his shift. "Hey," he said, smiling. "What's up?"

"Bella just fell asleep. I thought I'd head back to the house, unless you'd like to grab a bite."

"Love to. Do you mind cafeteria food? I don't want to be too far from Bella and the baby."

"Not at all."

He sighed. "You say that now, but..."

"Trust me, I did several rotations in hospitals and institutions. I've had the worst of the worst."

After grabbing some food, they sat at a table near the back where it was quiet. Victoria took a spoonful of soup and winced.

"Okay, I take it back. This week-old dishwater is the worst of the worst. My god, that's atrocious!"

They ate in pained silence, well, it was more like they picked at their shiteous food in pained silence until Edward spoke, quiet as a mouse.

"I'm scared, Victoria."

She reached for his hand. "Why so scared, Prince Charming?"

"I keep almost losing her. It's as if the Fates don't want us to be together. I can't lose her, Victoria, I can't. I can't bear to think of a world in which she doesn't exist. I don't want to live in a world in which she doesn't exist."

"It's okay to be scared a bit after what's happened, but you can't dwell on it. She is still very much alive. Your beautiful son is here. There are so many more reasons to be happy than there are to be scared. Don't waste precious time worrying about the _what if_, you need to live in the _now_.

"You and Bella have endured so much, survived against the odds. You're both fighters and you'll get through this."

A tear tracked down his cheek. "I can't get the sound of her heart stopping out of my head; the sound of her flatlining—it haunts me. When we're in bed at night I sleep so some part of me is always over her heart in case it stops again."

"Oh, my sweet Prince, you need to let it go. She's here. That's all that matters."

Edward smiled wearily at her.

"I don't regularly believe in wives' tales, but I'm hoping that this one is true: bad things come in threes. This is the third time she's almost died and has survived. I think it's about time you guys had some good things happen."

"I hope you're right."

"I know I am."

* * *

_**Okay, so my stories didn't make it to the finals for the Indie Twific Awards, but Katmom's awesome story **_**Guarding Edward_ did, so please pop over and vote for her. She's a super cool person and has been a great support to me. www DOT theindietwificawards DOT com_**

**_As for _Branded _and _Road Maps, _they have been nominated for Twilight All Human Fanfiction Awards. I received the e-mail this afternoon, so whoever nominated my stories, i send you a HUGE thank you. I am moved that I didn't have to beg anyone to nominate me this time (I wasn't even aware these awards existed). So far Branded is nominated for _Best Complete All Human Fanfiction, _and _Road Maps_ is nominated for _Most Original Plot. _If you want to nominate it for another category, please feel free to do so. I'm not holding out much hope because they're up against some HUGE AU-AH stories, including some of my favourites (Wide Awake, Tides of Fate, The Submissive...). Last time I checked, my links weren't up yet, but they should be soon. Please go check it out at: _**www DOT twilightallhumanawards DOT webs DOT com/

_**Again, a big thank you to all of you. I am beyond floored with the support and the love you keep showing me, and I am all the more blessed because of you.**_

_**Please drop by the reviews and leave me some love, or some hate, or just a hello. I love hearing from all of you.  
**_


	32. Ch 32 Homeward Bound

_**This chapter is shorter than most. I would apologize for the length but I'm going to save my apology for something else. ;)**_

_**I was going to do a big pre-amble to this chapter, but why bother...I think I'll save my rambling for the end.**_

_**This chapter is dedicated to Stephenie Meyer in honour of all the Twilighty goodness she has given us. Today marks the one year anniversary of the first time I picked up Twilight. :) Reading it totally changed my life; it brought me back to reading, it made me want to write again, it made me believe in dreams, and it brought me a wonderful group of friends, including those I've made here on FF. Sorry, didn't mean to go all Sapward on y'all.  
**_

In the last chapter, Victoria showed up and tried to help out our beloved Bella and Edward, among other things.

* * *

Bella awoke to the sensation of lips moving up her arms. She sighed happily and stretched languidly in a momentary lapse of judgment.

"Ow, shit!" she cursed under her breath.

"Are you okay, love?"

Grimacing through the pain tearing through her lower abdomen, she nodded.

"Mind if I look? Make sure you didn't bust a stitch?"

Again, she nodded. Sweat beaded on her brow as the pain finally began to ebb. A cool breeze blew over her exposed legs as Edward pulled back the blanket. She shivered a little.

"Won't be long, love."

He gently pulled up her gown, peeled off the gauze pads, looked intently at her incision, and then smiled. "Looks good; no sign of pulling, damaged sutures, or infection."

"I want to see it. Can you grab the mirror from my cosmetics case?"

Edward complied, passing her the hand-mirror. She shook her head. "I'm too sore. Can you hold it? I can't angle it right."

He took the mirror and moved it as she directed. Finally, when he heard her gasp, he knew she could see it.

"Ugh, that's pretty damn gross."

"Yes, but this scar will hardly be noticeable as it's along your bikini line. Dr. Dimitri called in a great surgeon to help him, and by the looks of it, he must have done a Plastics rotation because his stitching is flawless."

Bella laughed at Edward gushing over her incision. "If you say so."

He re-dressed her wound, pulled down her gown and covered her back up. "I had dinner with Victoria," he said, crawling into bed with her. He rested his head on her shoulder and stared off into space.

"That's nice. I feel bad, I fell asleep on her."

"She mentioned you were tired. It's okay, you need your sleep," he said, before taking a deep breath. "I'm feeling better. If you haven't noticed, I've been a bit of a mess lately."

Not wanting to let on that she'd picked up on it, she lied. "I hadn't noticed—I'm sorry. I've been so busy with the baby and sleeping that I've been neglecting you. I'm sorry."

"Don't be, it's okay. I've not been around much myself."

"You've had to work, you have an excuse. I've just been lazy and unobservant."

He turned to look at her. "Enough. Let's just leave it at we've both been preoccupied, okay?"

"Okay. So, what was wrong?"

He sighed. "I was so torn up about what happened in the operating room, I was a disaster."

"You're feeling better now, right?"

"I am. It's time to leave it all behind us and start our new life as a family. No looking back. We only get so many chances in life and you totally used up a few of yours when you…when you…flatlined. It's time to face the world, grab it by the balls, _carpe diem _and all of that. I don't want to take you or Nathan for granted, ever."

Bella sighed. "I wish you hadn't had to see that. It's going to haunt you, isn't it?"

"Probably, but I'm working on it. I just love you so much, Bella. I don't want to live one day, one moment, one second without you."

She kissed him on the cheek. "Hello, Sapward. Nice to see you."

* * *

The sound of wheels squeaking on the waxed floors alerted Sophie to someone entering her room.

"Bella! I'm so happy you're okay!" she said, smiling. "Esme told us that things had been touch and go. How's the baby?"

Smiling, Bella took Sophie's hand. "He's perfect. A little small, but perfect. I hear congratulations are in order for you too. How's little Esme?"

"Incredible. I was so scared, so worried I couldn't do this and the second that I saw her, I stopped being scared and I knew it was going to be okay, that I could do this. She's over in the bassinet if you'd like to see her."

Victoria wheeled her over to see the tiny little blonde-haired girl who was sucking on her fist as she slept.

"Oh, Sophie, she's beautiful."

"She is, isn't she?" Sophie began to cry softly. "Bella, I can't thank you and your family enough for all you've done. Having my mom here was the most amazing surprise. I really don't think I could have done this without you all, especially Esme. I was so alone."

Bella wheeled herself to the bed. "Sophie, I wanted to talk to you about that. Oh, and how rude of me, this is my friend Victoria."

Victoria shook Sophie's hand. "It's so nice to meet you."

"You too. Why do you want to talk about _that_?" she asked. "I'd rather forget it and move on.""

"Sweetie, sometimes not dealing with it will bring it back even worse one day down the road. I don't want to force you into talking, but we both want you to know that we're here if you need us."

"Are you both shrinks?"

Bella laughed. "I'm not, but Victoria is. Well, I do work in Art Therapy, but I'm not licensed. I've been through a lot, I thought maybe you might want to talk to someone who might understand what you experienced. Victoria was here visiting me and I hoped that maybe you would talk to her, to us."

"But, Bella, Edward's not like Tony was; Edward's perfect."

Bella laughed again. "Edward's pretty darn-near perfect isn't he? No, this happened before I met him, in fact, it led me to meeting him and Victoria, who helped both of us deal with the scars of my past.

"Wow, that sounds really melodramatic, like the tagline for a Showtime movie about my life."

"So, what happened? Sorry, I shouldn't have asked."

"No, I don't mind telling you, if you want to hear it. It's not easy," Bella sighed.

"Please?" she asked quietly.

So Bella told her the story, not leaving out any details, like she often did when speaking to larger groups. Somehow, she hoped that Sophie would need the extras to push her to talk about what had happened.

By the time she finished, Sophie was sobbing.

"Oh, sweetie, I didn't mean to make you cry," Bella said, slowly getting up from the wheelchair to sit on the bed beside her. She rubbed her shoulders and hugged her until she stopped crying. Baby Esme had woken up, so Victoria offered to take her over to her namesake who was in the next room with her grandson.

"He started off so sweet," Sophie barely whispered, "we met at school. He was older than me, which made it all the cooler. My Mom wasn't too keen on him, she always said he gave her _the No feeling_ and I guess I should have listened to her. I was in tenth grade, he was a senior; I was quiet and shy, he was outgoing. He brought me to parties and introduced me to all the cool kids. He made me feel special. Since my dad wasn't around it felt nice having an older guy making me feel loved.

"Tony was a gentleman at first, always very gentle, never wanting to push me beyond my comfort level, then one night we went to a party…" she shuddered a little.

Victoria reentered the room, and Sophie hesitated to continue, but Bella assured her that Victoria was cool.

"That night at the part something seemed off. He kept disappearing into one of the bedroom with some of his friends and when he'd come back he would be really hyper and sniffing a lot."

"Cocaine?" Bella asked.

Sophie nodded. "It made him so aggressive. He took me into another bedroom and got all grabby-hands on me. He bruised me, made me cry. When he saw the tears, he hit me," she looked down at her hands, "I should have walked away right then, but then he started crying and begging me for forgiveness because he was so sorry and he loved me—I caved. I comforted him when I was the one who was black and blue.

"Mom had a fit when she saw me. I made up some excuse about falling down, but she didn't buy it. She wanted to press charges, she tried to keep me from him, but you know how it goes—tell a hormonal girl teenage girl NO and she rebels. I started sneaking out at night to see him.

"When he was sober he rivaled Edward in charm and sweetness, but when he was drunk or high it was another story; it was Jeckyll and Hyde.

"I decided to see how a line of white powder could change a person so drastically and I soon found out. I suddenly had the courage of an army and I felt so…so…so unlike myself. I loved it at first. Tony and I started doing it together all the time until…"

Bella gave her a squeeze. "It's okay. We're not here to judge. Tell us only what you feel comfortable sharing."

"One day we skipped school, got high and went out to the lake. Tony was acting really strange that day, being really aggressive. So, we were lying on a blanket making out when he started moving a little faster than I was comfortable with, even with all of that cocaine in my system. Before I knew it, he'd pulled off my shorts and was…" she choked on a sob.

"He said he knew I wanted it and I just needed someone to take control. But I didn't want it. I cried and screamed but he wouldn't stop and no one could hear me. When he was done, he rolled over and fell asleep. I felt so dirty, so ashamed, that I went to the lake to try to wash the feeling off me. It wouldn't go away.

"When we were leaving, he told me that what happened was natural, normal, and that's how it worked and how it would continue to work, that I was his and he'd take it whenever and however he wanted it. He also to me that if I told anyone that he'd deny it, and no one would believe me because he was the deputy mayor's son and I was just a nobody.

"So, he continued to take what was his. Sometimes he drugged me so I wouldn't put up a fight. He also isolated me; keeping me away from my friends, turning me against my mother. I think he was afraid I would rat on him. But I wouldn't. I was stupid, I was…"

"Scared?" Bella asked.

Sophie nodded. "He was the town's golden boy and I came from a single parent home. It was true, nobody would have believed me. So I sucked it up and I lived for the good moments when he'd kiss me sweetly, tell me I was beautiful, buy me presents. Oh, the presents were sometimes incredible; jewelry, books, electronics. The bigger the beating, the better the present.

"By the time he decided to go to Dartmouth after doing a year at Berkley, I was beyond brainwashed and would have followed him anywhere. We took off, not telling my mom where we were going and all of a sudden, I find myself on the other side of the country in a place where I don't know anyone but him.

Bella sighed. "Even more isolated than before."

"Yeah. I wasn't really allowed to go anywhere. It sucked. Then I got sick, really sick. I came here to the hospital when he was in class one day and they informed me I was about five months pregnant. I was relieved that I had stopped doing drugs after the first time he…he…raped me, but at the same time, how could I bring a baby into such a messed up situation? I was too far along to abort, not that I would have, and in a way, I was relieved because he couldn't force me to have an abortion.

"I naively hoped that he would be happy, but he wasn't. He freaked out, going on about how I was always so ready to ruin his life, not to mention he called me several other choice things. He beat the tar out of me that night and left. He dropped out of school, or so I am assuming, and disappeared: leaving me pregnant and alone. And you know what? For the first time in years, part of me rejoiced. I was free. There wouldn't be any more threats, no more beatings, and no more sex.

"But then I realized that I had no money, I had no place to live and I was pregnant. I was too scared to call my mother; I thought she hated me. Tony kept telling me that she did every time I threatened to go home."

"What did you do?"

"I stayed in the apartment until the landlord kicked me out. I spent a couple of nights on the street because the weather was still nice, then I ended up in a shelter. The police picked me up one night and took me there, said it would be safer. I was scared they were going to call my mother or make me tell them about Tony, so I didn't speak to anyone for the longest time. They tried everything, but I was terrified. If they went after Tony, I knew he'd turn it around and make me the bad guy. Eventually, I spoke to one of the girls who worked there but I didn't tell her anything important.

"Then things started going bad with the baby and I ended up in here, alone and scared again. I wanted to call my mom so bad—she was the only person I wanted to talk to, but I thought if she was mad at me for running off, then surely she'd be furious about me being pregnant. She always said: _I don't understand you Sophie, I raised you better than this. You are above all of this nonsense._ She was right, she did raise me better than this, I just got lost along the way."

"So you're going home to California with your mom?" Victoria asked.

She instantly brightened up. "Yes! I can't wait to go home. I'm tired of the cold and being alone. I can't thank Esme enough for doing this for me."

Bella laughed. "I know for a fact that naming your baby after her was more than thanks enough. She's tickled pink. Besides, we all just want you to be safe and happy."

"Why? Why care about a foolish girl who could have stopped this a long time ago."

"Because you're worth it."

"I'm not," she said, sadly, "he was right when he said that I mess everything up."

Victoria jumped in. "Sweetie, he was wrong about a lot of things. I believe that things happen for a reason, even the bad things. Now it's time to start fresh with your new baby, chart a path toward a new, more authentic you. You are strong, Sophie, you just need to find it again, find yourself. Tony all but stripped you of your identity; it's time to rediscover the wonderful girl who is Sophie.

"I have a friend who lives in your town who would love to meet you. She can help you chip away at _Tony's Sophie_ to find_ the real Sophie_ and help you deal with all the changes, the struggles, all of it. It's not an easy process, but it can be done. Bella here is a great example. She was very withdrawn, sad, broken, but you'd never know it now, would you?"

"No, Bella would never come across as being any of that. But…"

"What is it?" Bella asked.

"I'm scared. What if he finds us? What if I can't be fixed?"

"It's okay to be scared. My friend can help you with that. She can also help you get a restraining order or help you find legal counsel if you decide to press charges. Will you call her?"

Sophie thought about it for a moment. "Yes, I think I will."

Bella hugged her gently. "You're worth it. I'm so happy for you."

"Thank you, Bella. Thanks, Victoria."

Esme popped her head in the door. "I've got two very hungry babies on my hands. Can anyone spare some milk?"

* * *

A big _Welcome Home Bella & Nathan_ banner hung from the eaves of the front porch. Bella blushed, a little embarrassed by the bold declaration, but moved by the gesture her family had made.

Emmett helped ease Bella out of the car while Edward and Esme fought over who would carry in the baby. Alice, Jasper, Rose, and Carlisle stood on the porch waving and cheering.

"Where are Kathie, Sophie, and baby Esme?" Bella asked.

"They flew home to California this morning," Esme replied.

"So, everything is good?"

After giving up the struggle with her son over who would carry the baby, Esme took one of Bella's hands in hers and smiled. "Everything is great. Victoria spoke to both of them, at Sophie's request, and got things started, gave them a map, so to speak, of how to handle things until they get in to see her friend. I'm so very happy you two took the time to go speak with her. I think it's going to make a huge difference."

"I'm so happy to hear that. She's a good kid, she deserves better than what she's had. I hope her mom will be patient with her. It's not going to be easy."

Bella winced as she walked up the stairs to the house. "Stop! Before you all go crazy with the hugs, and I'm looking at you, Pixie, please keep in mind that I still have stitches and I'm sore. Maybe you can direct your love to the baby until I get settled.

"Edward, please relinquish our child to his grandparents or his aunts and uncles, then help me to the recliner."

Alice grabbed the car seat from Edward, sticking her tongue out at him. All attention quickly shifted from Bella to the baby.

"Thank God," she said under her breath.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked as he led her to the living room and to his favourite chair. The sight of a new protective covering on it made her laugh.

"Don't trust me to make it to the bathroom?"

He gently eased her into it, kissing her and smiling. "No, Peanut is going to be spitting up and whatnot. I'm just taking precautionary measures."

"You called him Peanut."

Edward raked his hands through his hair. "I know, I'm sorry. I catch myself saying it all the time. I think the poor little guy is going to be stuck with it."

"It doesn't help that Emmett has taken to calling our daughter _Lily Bean_," Rosalie said, as she entered the room ahead of the others.

"Where is the little poop monster?" Bella asked.

"She's napping upstairs. I hope you don't mind."

"No, not at all. I think the kids should get used to sleeping at each other's houses, since they're going to be growing up together. By the way, where is my baby? They better not be keeping him out there in the cold and the snow. He's only ten days old!"

"No, they brought him in. They're fighting over who gets to hold him first."

"Let Alice, Jasper, or Carlisle have him first," Bella called out, "they've had less time with him."

"You look exhausted. Do you want to take a nap?" Edward said, pulling a blanket up over her feet.

She stifled a yawn. "No."

"Bella?" Edward said, accusingly.

"Just let me rest my eyes for a minute. If he gets hungry, please wake me up. If he craps again, get Emmett to change it."

"Why Emmett?"

"He's the expert. He fathered the poop monster, didn't he?"

Before he could blink, Bella had fallen asleep. She had rested a lot at the hospital, but even so, she was still very weak.

He kissed her forehead and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. He beckoned for everyone to join him in the kitchen and dining room.

"She's utterly exhausted. I hope you don't mind hanging out in the kitchen. I don't want to wake her."

Carlisle, who was cradling his grandson and beaming, moved toward Edward. "It's all good, son; we can be quiet. Bella does need a lot of rest right now; she's been through an awful lot."

Alice begged to hold him again, leaving Carlisle free to talk to Edward privately.

"Son, I really hate to do this, you've been so stressed out, but…" he paused, unsure of how to continue. "We received something addressed to you at the house in Forks a couple of weeks ago."

Edward's head began to swim. "Please don't…"

"I'm sorry, son, my curiosity got the best of me—I recognized the handwriting from the time he showed up at the house and left his information for you."

"What does it say?"

Carlisle rummaged around in his briefcase for a moment. He found what he was looking for and handed it to Edward. "Here, see for yourself."

_**We're not finished.**_

_**

* * *

**_

_**Okay, so this is where I need to apologize...I'm sorry to leave it like this. I am halfway through writing the next chapter and if I had included much of any of the next chapter it would have been an even worse cliffie, so, why not consider this a slight bluff instead of a full-blown cliffhanger. **_

_**Please don't be too mad at me. **_

_**I love you?**_

_**Don't forget about the **_**Twilight All Human Fanfiction Awards. _You can still nominate stories until July 29th and voting starts August 1st. Branded and Road Maps are both nominated against some crazy good stories, so I could use all the votes I can get._ **www DOT twilightallhumanawards DOT webs DOT com/

_**Again, I'm sorry to leave you hanging.**_

_**I love you?  
**_


	33. Ch 33 RUN!

_**I was going to wait until tomorrow night (Saturday) to post this, but the response to the last chapter and all the wonderful messages I've received, really inspired me to get my butt in gear and get this posted sooner than later. I daresay I'll break the 1,000 review mark on this chapter and to say that i'm blown away would do a great disservice to how i'm feeling. **_

_**There's a little of everything in this chapter...I hope you'll enjoy it.**_

_**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight. I own some Nestle Toll House Cookie Dough Ice Cream.

* * *

  
**_

Bella was happy to be home, but the chaos and hubbub of having the whole family hovering around her all the time was starting to get to her. It was her second week home from the hospital and they'd barely had a moment's peace; between Alice, Jasper, and Carlisle sticking around for a week, Rose, Emmett and Lily being over off and on throughout the day, and Esme trying to tend to everyone's every need, she was at the end of her rope.

"Mom, Bella and I would like to have a couple of days alone. Please don't be offended, we love having you here, we just need a chance to feel things out on our own. Would you be averse to spending the next two days over at Rosalie and Emmett's?"

Esme smiled and hugged Edward. "Of course not, sweetheart. I would love some quality Lily-time. Have you okayed this with Rose?"

"Yes," Bella replied. "She's been feeling a little left out in all of this. No one hovered for two weeks when Lily was born."

"I suppose you're right, dear, I didn't dote on her nearly enough. I may be going to stay over there, but I'm still going grocery shopping for you."

Bella laughed. "Of course, Esme, I would really appreciate it. So, Edward will drop you over there tonight, if that's okay."

"That would be fine, dear. It's true; you do need to spend some time alone to figure things out before I head back to Forks next week. I'll just run upstairs and pack up some things."

Nathan began to fuss a little, so Bella picked him up from the bassinet and took him to Edward's favourite chair to nurse him. Esme gave them both a kiss before she left. Edward popped back in for a kiss and promised to be back soon.

Bella's post-surgical wounds had healed nicely and although she was still not allowed to do any heavy lifting, she was now able to carry the baby from one room to the other, not that he weighed that much; at a whopping 9lbs 3 oz, he was still very small. It was nearing his actual due date and Bella was actually relieved he came early because the thought of giving birth to a baby that large made her uterus clench.

To keep her from having to go up and down the stairs to put the baby down, Esme had purchased a second bassinet so the baby could sleep downstairs during the day, which was a huge relief to her. He only slept in three to four hour sessions, so the constant up and down was easier to deal with without having to climb the stairs.

Edward's favourite chair had become Bella's new home, thus evicting him from his favourite place to decompress. He came up with a plan. It would all come to fruition the following afternoon.

Bella was feeding Nathan when she heard a knock at the door. "Edward? There's someone at the door. I'm feeding the baby. Can you get it?"

She heard him walk to the door, speak to someone quietly and tell whomever it was to put _it_ in the living room.

"Cover up, love, your surprise is here."

Bella gathered a receiving blanket from her shoulder and covered her chest. "What surprise?"

"You'll see in a moment."

"Why do I have to cover up? It's very natural for a woman to feed her child like this."

"I know," he said, ducking down to give her a quick kiss. "I'd rather not have delivery men ogling my incredibly beautiful wife's breasts as she feeds our impossibly beautiful son."

"Oh, well thank you, and now I'm really curious."

Two burly, Emmett-sized men carried in the biggest, plushest-looking beige recliner she had ever seen. "Oh, my," she said.

After setting it down, arranging it beside Edward's old chair, and removing the plastic, the men nodded a hello at her and left.

"I thought you might be more comfortable in this chair. It even rocks."

Bella beamed brightly. "You are the sweetest man on earth."

"Aw, shucks. You make me blush, Mrs. Cullen."

"Let me finish up with Peanut and we'll test it out."

"You just called him Peanut, love."

She sighed. "This poor little guy is doomed."

"It could be worse, he could have a ridiculous nickname like _poop monster_."

Bella laughed. "True enough."

Edward watched as his son ate and as Bella looked at him adoringly. He almost wished that he could share that same kind of bond with his son; the closest he could get was his shirtless naps, and Bella always ended up weeping whenever she'd see them together like that.

As soon as Nathan had had his fill, Bella passed their milk-drunk son to Edward, got up slowly and tried out the new chair. "Oh. My. God. This is divine. It doesn't rock, it glides! I might never get up. It's like sitting in a big, plush, marshmallow."

Edward walked over to the bassinet and gently laid Nathan down for a nap. Bella motioned for him to come over. "There's room for two," she said, scooching over, making room beside her.

He squished in and cuddled beside her. "Mm..." he said, nuzzling her neck. "I could stay here forever."

She turned her head for a kiss, which he gladly accepted. They enjoyed a rare, quiet, personal moment, their kisses starting out chastely, but soon escalated to caliente. Bella found herself wanting more, so she opened her mouth to him, hoping he would know what she wanted.

Edward sighed happily into her mouth as their tongues met. It had been so long since they'd shared a moment like this, had any sort of sensual bonding. Oh, how he missed her taste, her smell.

Hands began roaming, neither one knew who had started it, but really, who cared? Edward was truly fascinated and enamoured with her enlarged breasts. She flinched when he became a little too eager, prompting him to slow down.

They were both panting, flushed, and unrequited when the baby began to cry.

"That was a quick nap," Bella lamented.

Edward looked at his watch. "Er...we've been making out for the past hour."

"Time flies when you're having fun," she joked, bending down for another kiss. "That, Dr. Cullen, was nice. We need to do that more often. I can't wait until we can make love again. How much longer until we can try?"

"That's really your call, love. When you're feeling up to it, we can try."

"Don't move. I'm going to grab the baby and I'll be right back."

Bella returned with a freshly-changed Nathan and snuggled back into the big comfy chair with Edward, who put his arm around her shoulder, allowing her to be even closer to him. They rocked and observed their child as he stared back at them.

"Sometimes it's so hard to believe that he's here, that he's ours," Edward said as he ran a finger down one of Nathan's cheeks. "And his eyes—I can't even get over them; are they green? Are they brown? I mean, the technical term is _hazel_, but it doesn't seem right because there's no definitive, distinctive hue."

"He's got your hair."

"Poor guy, he's going to get teased forever. People will be saying; _here comes that Cullen kid with the crazy sex-hair_. There are much better parts of me he could have inherited."

Bella blushed and giggled. Edward looked at her, his jaw dropping in feigned shock. "Isabella Marie Cullen! Get your mind out of my pants while holding our son."

She sighed. "Seriously, can we just hide here? Just the three of us?"

"Someday, love, someday."

Edward took Nathan from Bella, giving her a chance to sit back and watch them bond. The tenderness he showed his son was so endearing. He nuzzled his head, inhaling that fresh baby scent, and sighed contentedly. "I bed heaven smells like babies," he mumbled.

"I hope it smells like you."

"Mrs. Cullen, are you trying to seduce me?"

"No, Dr. Cullen, I'm just telling it like it is."

"Why don't we take a nap while he's happy?"

"Why don't I go cook dinner while you two nap. If he starts to fuss, let me know and I'll feed him."

Bella kissed her boys and walked into the kitchen where she saw the last person she would ever expect to see standing there.

Edward Masen Sr.

* * *

"Um, hi." Bella said nervously.

"You're the girl from the parking lot," he said, taking a step toward her. He lifted a hand to touch her face. "I didn't mean to..."

"DON'T. TOUCH. ME!" she hissed.

"I don't blame you for being angry. My son told me you were pregnant. I hope my little, uh, indiscretion, didn't harm the child."

"No, he's fine," she said, backing up slowly toward the door.

"He? I have a grandson?"

Bella's mind was reeling. _How the hell am I going to tell Edward he's here without tipping the psycho off?_

"Edward and I have a son, yes. What do you want?"

He raked his hands through his hair. "I need Edward's forgiveness."

"And you think that breaking into his house will help?"

He looked at her, his wild eyes suddenly turning sad. "I didn't know what else to do."

"You know the police have been looking for you."

"Yes, and I'll turn myself in as soon as he forgives me."

"Will you let me tell him you're here?"

He thought about it. "No. You'll call the police."

Bella flinched as she watched his eyes shift again as they darkened. His brows creased making him look angry. She was officially scared.

"I...I'll promise not to call. Please."

"No." Ed Sr. moved forward, grabbed her arm, and twisted her around. A pain shot through her mid-section, making her cry out and fall to her knees.

She froze when she heard Edward call out from the living room. "Bella, love, are you okay?"

Ed Sr. nudged her with his shoe. "Tell him you're fine."

"I'm okay," she called out.

He looked down at her, his eyes shifting again, this time looking concerned. "Are you okay?"

"I just got out of the hospital a couple of weeks ago after a very complicated delivery. I had a c-section and you pulled on me a little too hard."

Kneeling beside her, he apologized. "I'm sorry, I really am. I'm not a bad guy, really."

Bella knew she was playing with a loaded gun. "I'm sure you're not. I'm okay. I'm tough."

"You remind me of her."

"Of who?"

"My Elizabeth. I didn't mean to hurt her, or Edward. Please believe me."

Bella rested her hand on his arm. "I hear she was incredible."

His gaze glazed over. "Oh, she was..."

Sensing this might be her only chance to get away; she grabbed for a cookbook on a low shelf and cracked him in the head, stunning him. She tried to get up but stumbled.

"EDWARD! YOUR FATHER IS HERE. TAKE THE BABY AND RUN! GET HELP!"

Edward jumped up out of the chair and ran toward Bella, who was trying to crawl out of the kitchen.

"Bella!"

"RUN! Take Peanut and RUN!" Her face was pale and terror-filled; her eyes were huge and panicked.

"Bella!" he cried out again, torn between his wife and child.

"Please, Edward. I'm begging you. Take the baby and run, I'll be okay."

He watched in horror as his father stood behind Bella, blood streaming down his face.

"Dad, what are you doing here? What did you do to my wife?"

"I came to seek your forgiveness."

"You have a funny way of doing it. My wife is crawling on the floor screaming. It doesn't really make me want to forgive anything."

The baby picked that moment to begin crying.

"Please, Dad, let Bella and the baby go."

"Edward, PLEASE! Get the baby the fuck out of here!" Bella screamed. "If you love me, you'll listen to me."

Ed Sr. kicked her lightly. "Yup, she's a lot like Liz; always the martyr. _Run, Edward_," he mocked. "Run, son, that's what you people do best."

"I'm taking the baby to the neighbour's. I'll be back and we can sit and discuss this rationally. I will not subject my son to this."

"Fine, but your wife stays here."

"Bella?"

"I'm fine. Go take him to Rosie."

"I love you."

"Love you more, now get out of here. Please?"

He grabbed the diaper bag, bundled up the baby, grabbed a jacket, threw on some shoes and left with a last look at his wife lying on the floor at the feet of his deranged father. 

_How had this happened?_

_

* * *

_

"EDWARD! What the fuck? Haven't you ever heard of knocking?" Rosalie yelled, covering her breast from view. "Wait? What's wrong?"

"Call police. Take Peanut. My dad. Bella. Oh God!" he panted, frantic.

"Slow down, Edward. What's going on?"

"My dad. Here. Bella. Fuck. Call the police. I have to go."

Edward set the baby down and ran out the door.

Rosalie jumped up and raced after him. "Edward! Wait!"

When he didn't stop, she ran to the phone and called 911. The operator gave her a hard time because she didn't have many details to give. "Please listen to me. My brother-in-law just raced in here yelling something sketchy about his deranged biological father holding his wife hostage at their house. I gave you the address, now get the fuck over there, and do something before my husband finds out that his little sister is in danger. I assure you that it will not be pretty."

Rosalie hung up; put a wailing Peanut and Lily in her bassinet together and frantically called Emmett to fill him in on what was going on. She then called Carlisle, Jasper, and Alice in a three-way conference call.

"SHIT!" Carlisle cursed. "We should have gone to the police in Hanover to tell them what was happening with Ed. I figured he'd try to find Edward, just not this soon."

"What do we do?" Jasper asked.

Rosalie sighed. "There's not much you can do. You're too far away. Esme's out buying groceries, she doesn't know. OH JESUS!" she gasped. "She was going to stop in to drop some food off to them. Guys, I have to call Esme NOW and stop her."

"Oh, good Lord. Rosalie, please stop her. He'll kill her." Carlisle begged, helplessly.

* * *

Esme was just coming through the back door of Bella and Edward's house when her phone went off. Arms full of groceries, she didn't get a chance to answer it.

"Kids? It's just me. I'll put the bags on the counter and I'll leave you be." She paused. "Hello? Bella? Edward? Is anybody home?"

Taking a step toward the living room, Esme could sense there was something wrong. She thought she heard muffled talking in the next room. With her next step, her foot slipped in a puddle. When she looked closer, she realized it was blood.

"Kids?" What's going on? Is everyone okay? Please answer me."

Her mouth flew open when she stepped into the living room. Bella was curled up in a ball on the floor.

"ESME RUN! HE'S HERE! GET OUT!" she screamed, pleading with her adopted mother to run.

"Who? What's going on?"

"RUN!" Bella yelled. "PLEASE!"

Before Esme could do anything, the one person she'd hoped to never see again stepped in front of her.

"Hello, Esme, it's been a while, eh? Why don't you take a seat? Edward should be back shortly," he said, pausing. "Oh, I think I hear him now."

Esme fought off a wave of nausea when Ed grabbed her and pulled her to where Bella was cowering on the floor. He shoved her down beside her. Esme wrapped her arms around her protectively. "Are you okay, sweetie?"

"Yes," Bella said, sniffling. "I'm in pain, but I don't think I've done any extensive damage."

Ed Sr. paced around. "This has turned out so much better than I had intended. I only wanted forgiveness from my son, now I get to have revenge against the instigator of all of this mess."

"Instigator?" Bella asked.

"Me, dear, he blames me for a lot of his miseries where Elizabeth is concerned. I'm so sorry about this. Carlisle and Edward were supposed to alert the police that he'd made contact."

"Edward knew?" Bella gasped. "He didn't say anything about it."

A heavy foot thudded down beside them. "SHUT UP!"

The front door opened slowly and Edward peeked in.

"Ah, the return of the prodigal son. Is your precious son safe now? Wouldn't want any of Grandpa's crazy to rub off on him, would we?" Ed Sr. made a broad sweep with his arm. "We have another guest, son."

"MOM!" Edward said, fear painted across his face. "How?"

"I was dropping off your groceries. I had no..."

Ed Sr. kicked her in the side. "I said to shut up! You never listen, do you, Esme? Never learned your lesson about butting in."

Edward rushed forward to his mother's side. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," she said, wincing.

"Ed, what do you want?"

"Absolution. Revenge."

"How do we do this, then? What do you want from me?"

"Tell me you forgive me, son. Tell me you can look past all that bullshit from before. Tell me you don't hate me for what I did. It wasn't my fault—it was HERS!" Ed punctuated the last word by kicking Esme again.

Edward's anger grew exponentially. "You want me to forgive you for killing my birth mother and now you're hurting my adoptive mother? That makes no fucking sense!"

"Language, son," Esme and Ed Sr. said in unison.

"On top of that, you're holding my wife hostage. Wow, DAD," he said, sneering, "You really know how to win the affection of others, don't you."

Ed Sr. began to pace nervously. "This isn't how it was supposed to happen. You said it would work, that it would be fine."

"Who are you talking to?"

Pulling at his hair, he turned to Edward. "You think I'm crazy, don't you."

Bella, who was now sitting up with her back against the couch, spoke up. "Mr. Masen? We don't think you're crazy."

"Speak for yourself," Edward mumbled, barely loud enough for anyone to hear.

Bella shot him a warning look, and continued. "Mr. Masen, we're worried about you. You look really tired. Why don't you take a seat? We're not going anywhere."

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" he barked at her. Then his face softened. "Yeah, I am a little tired. I was awake all night. They wouldn't stop shouting."

"Who was shouting?" she asked.

"Oh, you know, those guys who are always shouting at you to do stuff. I really wanted to come and apologize to Edward, but the voices—they make me so angry sometimes that I can't think straight. I didn't mean to kick you, Bella, is it? You seem like a nice girl, but I couldn't...ugh...I get so mad."

"It's okay, Mr. Masen. I forgive you. Now please take a seat. Try the new recliner that Edward bought for me and the baby."

He sat down and groaned. "Wow, this is the softest thing I've ever sat on. Thanks. Oh, please call me Ed, dear. So, tell me about yourself, Bella. I don't know anything about you."

Edward was in awe as he watched his father go from being a raving lunatic to a tired, level-headed, considerate man who could be quite the charmer. Bella told him some things about herself, leaving out her violent past, and then telling him about Nathan.

"He looked cute, from what I saw," he said, yawning.

"He's probably screaming his head off right about now. Would you mind terribly if I pump some milk for him?"

"No," he yawned again. "Please go ahead."

Edward helped Bella to her feet and to the dining room table, where she took a seat. He brought out the pump, slipped her a cell phone, and pretended to help her set it up. He had no clue how it worked.

"Mom, can you please help Bella? This is the first time we've used it."

Esme looked to Ed Sr. and he waved her off sleepily. While Esme tended to Bella, he flipped the phone open and scrolled to Emmett's contact info and mouthed to Bella to text him.

Edward returned to his favourite chair, beside his father. He noticed several police cars had gathered in front of the house and was thankful they had arrived sans-sirens.

"So, Dad, can we talk? Man-to-man? I won't freak out or anything, I promise."

"Um-hm," he said, his eyes beginning to close.

"Did you ever love me?"

His father's eyes opened up and stared at him. "I suppose it would be hard not to love you, Edward. You were a beautiful baby, a very talented and handsome toddler. Your mother's eyes would light up when she saw you and vice versa. Together you two were almost too hard to look at because you were just so beautiful.

"Then it used to piss me off that she'd get that look for you, but not for me. The voices would start yelling at me and I'd lose control." He closed his eyes for a moment.

Bella and Esme shot Edward a thumb's up. He nodded lightly.

Ed Sr. jerked awake. "Son, I'm sorry for everything. Before the voices start yelling again, I need you to know that I never meant to kill your mother, and I'm sorry for all the times I hurt you. Can you forgive me?"

As much as it killed him to say it, Edward put his hand on his father's and lied. "Yes, I forgive you."

As quickly as Ed Sr. had become tired and docile, his temperament changed again.

"HOW DARE YOU TOUCH ME?!" he roared. "HOW DARE YOU TOUCH ME?! I should have killed you when I had the chance. It's all your fault your mother is dead."

He reached over and put his hands around Edward's throat, choking him.

"NO! EDWARD!" Esme and Bella screamed both jumping up from the table, the breast pump clattering to the floor. Esme reached down, grabbed the motor unit and lunged across the room. "You may have taken my sister, you bastard, but you will not take my son!"

The motor unit made a swift and hard connection to Ed Sr.'s head. He let go of Edward, who drifted on the edge of consciousness, and turned his anger onto Esme.

"BITCH! You are going to pay for that, like you should have paid for all you did back then. I'm going to relish killing you. I wish I could see the look on old perfect Carlisle Cullen's face when he finds your dead body on the ground." He reached for her, but she dodged him. She managed to evade him two more times before he finally tripped her.

Bella screamed as she watched Esme fall.

"RUN, BELLA! GET HELP!"

Without hesitation, Bella sprint-limped as fast as she could to the front door.

"HELP! HE'S KILLING HER!" she screamed.

Several police officers in Kevlar vests stormed past her, knocking her over. She lay on the porch crying. There was a lot of noise coming from the house, but she couldn't make out what it was.

_Please, God, let them be okay. Please, God, let them be okay._

"Miss, come with us, please. Can you walk?"

Bella was so exhausted and in shock that she shook her head _no_. Two officers helped her up, and then one carried her over to an ambulance.

"I'm okay, just sore. Where's my husband? My mother-in-law?"

"They'll be out shortly."

"Are they okay?"

"We don't know yet."

"BELLY!" Emmett cried out as he reached her.

"Emmy," she said, crying. "Where are Edward and Esme? Where's my baby?"

"I think they're coming out now. Peanut is fine and with Rosie at the house. Are you okay?"

"I think so."

Four officers came out of the house carrying a limp Ed Masen Sr.

"Is he dead?"

"No, just tazered, I think," Emmett replied as he pulled a blanket around her shoulders. Until that moment she hadn't realized she was shaking.

The paramedics were called into the house once it was cleared. Bella nearly passed out from joy when she saw Edward being helped out by two police officers. Bella threw off the blanket and limped over to him, throwing her arms around him.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

He nodded weakly.

"Esme?"

He looked down at the ground and let out a silent sob.

"No, Edward, she's okay, isn't she? She has to be!"

Emmett roared. "I'll KILL THE FUCKER MYSELF!"

The paramedics came out of the house a short time later with a stretcher. Esme looked terrible, her face swollen and bloodied.

Bella sobbed. "NO! ESME! NO!"

Esme opened one eye and tried to smile. She held up a thumb.

"Oh, thank God!"

"Ma'am, we need to get you all to the hospital. Would you like to ride with your husband?"

"Yes, please."

As they helped her into the back of the ambulance, she called out to Emmett. "Please go get the baby and bring him to the hospital. He's probably famished."

Bella, against the wishes of the paramedics, curled up on the stretcher with Edward and passed out. It had all been way too much and the shock was wearing her out. It had certainly been an intense afternoon.

* * *

_**So, Ed Sr. has been tazered and will probably not be in any shape to bother them for a while...a long while, I hope. Writing him makes my brain hurt; he's just so all over the place. Sweet one minute, deranged the next. I think I may have brained my damage on this one. ;)  
**_

_**For those of you who are sick of the drama, it would seem that we might be at the bottom of the drama barrell, which also means that we're very close to the end of the story. It breaks my heart to end it. I've become so attached to Bella, Sapward, and Peanut. Sigh. I think more than anything, I'm going to miss your reviews and messages. I am humbled by some of the heartbreaking messages I get from you guys. I am honoured that my little exercise has helped someone.**_

_**Please remember to go vote for your favourite stories over at the Indie Twific Awards. Branded and Road Maps didn't make it, but there are some wonderful stories (like Guarding Edward by Katmom) that made the final cut. **_www DOT theindietwificawards DOT com

_**Voting for the Twilight All Human Fanfiction Awards begins on AUGUST 1st. Road Maps and Branded have both been nominated. A vote or two would be nice. :) **_

www DOT twilightallhumanawards DOT webs DOT com/

_**OH YEAH...I am taking requests for outtakes. Is there a scene you'd like to see from someone else's POV? Is there something missing (like what happened between Chapter 1 and 2 of Branded) that you'd like to see? Please leave me a review/message and let me know. I'm not ready to TOTALLY give up these guys, or you for that matter. I adore you all too much. :)**_

_**Can't wait to see you on the other side of 1,000 reviews. I'm so excited I might vomit. :)  
**_


	34. Ch 34 Normal

_**1000 reviews...never in a million years did I EVER think I would hit 1,000 reviews. THANK YOU SO MUCH for all the love you've left for me for this story, and for Branded (which has almost hit 250).**_

_**So, this is it. The last chapter. Before you begin to gather a mob to lynch me, there is an epilogue, so it's not totally over, yet.**_

_**I don't want to get too sappy right now. I'll save that for the epilogue. I'll just say this...if I hadn't been sitting at the front desk at work when I finished writing this chapter, I would have totally cried my eyes out. I'm feeling very attached to these characters and it's killing me to let them go. **_

_**Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, and I own a brand new futon (which I had to build on my own!)

* * *

**_

"Edward?"

He felt a cold hand on his cheek.

"Sweetie?"

He froze as a rush of memories engulfed him. His father. Bella. Esme. Choking.

His eyes fluttered open to see an angel looking down on him. He raised a hand to cup the beautiful face.

"Bella," he said silently.

_Wait? Where's my voice? Why can't I talk? Why is that heart monitor speeding up? Shouldn't someone be checking on that patient—they might be in distress?_

"I can't talk!" he shouted as he opened his eyes again, but no sound came out beyond a wheeze. He reached up, pulled the oxygen tubing from his nose, and tried to sit up.

"Calm down, sweetie, everything's okay," Bella said, calmly pulling his hands away from his face. "Leave that in, honey, you need it."

When Edward looked back at her face, he stopped. Though her demeanour was calm, her face betrayed it, as her eyes looked scared, anxious. He closed his eyes and tried to slow the frantic beating of his heart. When it was down to a more normal rhythm, he opened his eyes again. Bella was crying.

"I'm sorry," he mouthed.

She smiled sadly before curling up beside him, holding him tight. "There's no reason to be sorry, love. Okay, you could have told me that your father was trying to track you down, but nothing would have stopped him. It's all over now."

He turned to look at her. "Esme?"

"She is one tough woman; she's going to be fine. Carlisle is on his way now, Alice and Jasper are coming tomorrow. Emmett and Rose have the kids and they're waiting for Esme to come out of surgery."

"Surgery?" he asked, silently.

"It's nothing major, she broke her wrist, and they're putting pins in. Now you, sir, scared the shit out of me. I thought he killed you, I thought that they'd bring you out in a body bag. I'm so happy you're okay."

He pointed to his bruised neck.

"He damaged your voice box, love. The doctors are confident that your voice will come back in a couple of weeks. So," she winked mischievously, "how's it feel to be the mute one?"

"Sucks," he mouthed. "Peanut?"

"You want me to get the baby?"

He nodded.

"Be right back," she said, kissing him. "Don't move an inch."

There was no chance of that happening, Edward fell asleep while she was out of the room.

* * *

Esme and Edward were released two days later. So Carlisle could keep an eye on the two patients, they set up camp at Bella and Edward's house.

_So much for private time, _Bella thought, then mentally kicked herself for even wanting her family to leave. _I almost lost my husband and mother-in-law in one foul swoop, how can I be so selfish for wanting time without them?_

Esme dozed in Edward's chair, her casted arm elevated. Carlisle brought ice out to her every hour or so for the swelling in her face where Ed Sr. had punched and kicked her. She was in great spirits considering what had happened.

Edward dozed in Bella's new chair so there was room for her to snuggle with him when it was time to feed the baby. He'd been given two weeks off to recover, and hopefully get his voice back.

The police came by on several occasions to get statements from them. Ed Sr. was being held in a maximum-security psychiatric facility; where he was heavily drugged and had been near catatonic since he was tasered. Aside from when they spoke to the police, no one brought him up—as far as they were concerned, it was over.

Bella put Peanut down to bed in the nursery one night about a week later. It was the first time she'd not had him in the bedroom with them.

Edward was in bed reading when she came in.

_Where's the baby?_ He wrote on the whiteboard.

"In his room."

_Why?_

"Well, I thought he might be happier in there for the moment."

_Why?_

"Because I'm ready. I think. Maybe you're not feeling up to it; oh shit, I'm being really selfish aren't I? Never mind, forget I brought it up."

Edward reached over and pulled her to the bed, tossing the whiteboard to the side. He sat up and kissed her with so much desire that she thought she might pass out. They kissed quietly until Edward's hands roamed down to her sensitive breasts. She cried out quietly, her head falling back as she arched into his grasp, inciting him to nip at her nipples through the cotton of her tank top.

Running her hand slowly down his chest and into his flannel pajama pants, she gripped a very eager Adam and stroked him gently. Edward groaned silently before he ripped her shirt off. He looked at her and she felt a rush; his gaze was dripping with feral, primal lust, and her boy shorts were dripping with arousal.

Edward flipped them over so he was on top. Bella pulled down on his pajamas and smiled she saw how aroused he was. When she went to grab him again, he stopped her.

"You first," he mouthed.

Bella sighed happily. "As you wish."

Leaning down, he breathed into her ear. She thought she heard him say, "Tell me if it's too much."

Her answer was swallowed by a searing kiss, thus beginning a tongue battle to rival all others. Again, the ferocity and the urgency of it was enough to nearly propel her off the edge.

Moving his mouth up along her jaw, Bella took the opportunity to catch her breath. When his teeth grazed her earlobe and he blew on the wetness left behind, it was all she could do not to cry out loud enough to wake the household, hell, the whole neighbourhood.

Heading south, he planted kisses and nipped at landmarks on the way, like her chin, throat, collarbones. He smiled when he saw that her hands were fisting in the sheets; he liked to see that he was doing something right.

Since her breasts were sore and probably filling with milk, he didn't want to tease them too badly, and really, he could think of one other place he desperately wanted to be. Sitting back on his heels, he ran a finger along the seam of her boy shorts, inciting her to moan. He smiled wickedly as he hitched his fingers in the waistband and pulled them down.

He winced when he saw the C-section incision scar. Running this finger along the line, he looked at his beautiful wife and waited for her to flinch. She smiled at him.

"It's okay, sweetie, I'll let you know if and when it hurts. Right now it hurts because you stopped. I need you, Edward. Inside me. Please."

Pulling her boy shorts off completely, he sat back again and admired her body. Although she was still puffy from just having had a baby, he loved it, loved having more of her to hold, to love.

"Please don't look at me. I'm fat."

He shook his head _no._

She moved her arms to cover herself, but he stopped her and pinned her wrists above her head. "Stay," he breathed in her ear before he dove right into Pandora. He licked her outer lips slowly, getting reacquainted with his own little version of heaven. He inhaled the sweet smell of her arousal and felt himself get even harder. Unable to control himself, he delved into the wetness of her folds and lapped up the slickness before flicking her swollen nub until her legs began to shake, then he sucked on it gently.

Bella bucked her hips at him. "Edwaaaaaaaaaaaard, please!"

Sensing she was getting a little too close to the edge, he decided to go digital, per se, by inserting two fingers into her slick, silky centre. He moaned into her, it felt so good—it felt like coming home after a long trip. Pumping slowly, he took special care to curl upward until he found her G-spot. She would have flown off the bed had he not pinned her hips to the bed. She chanted his name reverently until he inserted a third finger when she let out a shriek and clamped down. He continued to thrust into her until the waves subsided. Lust-drunk eyes met his as he extricated his digits and slowly raised them to his mouth to lick them clean.

Bella moaned at the sight of her husband licking her juices from his fingers. She sat up and pulled him to her so she could have a taste. She flipped them over so he was on his back and began kissing her way down to where she wanted to be.

Taking his erection into her mouth for the first time in a long time, she realized how much she missed his musky, salty taste. She hummed and the vibrations made Edward jerk off the bed.

Since it had been so long since she'd had a tête-tête with Adam, she wanted to pay special attention to him, get reacquainted with every vein, wrinkle, and each delicious, long, hard inch of his manly perfection.

Edward fisted his hands gently in her hair, guiding her to a workable rhythm. He shuddered when she cupped his balls and rolled them gently in her small hand, matching the strokes of her mouth.

Just before he found release, he tapped her head to let her know, to give her the option to pull back. Of course she held fast and swallowed every last salty drop he gave her.

After licking him clean, she slowly climbed back up his body, wincing slightly.

"You okay?" he mouthed.

She nodded before giving him a kiss. "Just a little sore."

Gently, Edward rolled them so they were spooning with his chest against her back. He ran his fingers along her curves before reaching the wet triangle at the apex of her thighs. She was so wet she was almost embarrassed.

Lifting her leg, Edward hitched it up and back over his thigh as he nestled himself between her legs. Feeling his erection nudging at her, she tilted her hips back to give him a better angle of entry.

Oh what a glorious entry it was. Bella bit down on her arm as he slowly penetrated her. She sighed as she finally felt that feeling of fullness she'd been longing for.

"Stop," she moaned. "Just stay still for a second. I need to feel this, feel you, it's been so long."

Bella cried softly at the sensation as she finally urged him to continue. He reached around to wipe a tear, then moved this thumb to her mouth. She bit down gently on it as he slowly made love to her, one delicious moment of friction after the other. Each languid stroke brought her closer and closer, until she felt the tightening and the butterflies building up. He moved his hand down to stroke her clit and she exploded around him, crying out and weeping at the same time. Edward continued to thrust harder and brought her back again before he finally let himself release.

"Fuck me," she panted, the room spinning as she descended from the proverbial ceiling. "I think I hit the roof that time."

He snickered quietly as his hands roamed her body.

"Don't pull out. Not yet," she whispered.

He kissed her shoulder, pulled up the comforter, and wrapped his arms around her.

"Thank you," she said, kissing his hand.

She laughed when she saw his hand point at her then make the sign for okay. "Yes, honey, I think I'll survive. I'm no more sore in than I was before, although I'd love to have a soak in the tub."

Nathan was stirring in his nursery. Bella could hear it on the baby monitor. "Someone probably needs to be changed and fed. All good things must come to an end," she said.

Edward slowly withdrew from her, inciting her to sigh sadly at the loss of fullness. He tapped her on the shoulder and asked in very rudimentary sign language if she wanted him to get the baby.

"No, love, I'll get him. You get some sleep."

She got up, found her robe, and threw it on in case she bumped into Carlise and Esme.

The baby was fussing quietly when she reached him. She turned on a nightlight by the changing table before she lifted him from the crib.

"Hi, sweetie, did you have a good sleep? Is my sweet angel hungry? Hmm?"

She smoothed out his hair and laughed at what Edward had said about cursing him with sex-hair. "Your daddy certainly has sex-hair right now, little one," she said, chuckling.

When she undid his diaper, her stomach lurched. "My God, Peanut, what did your momma eat to make you stink so bad? Wow! It's hard to believe that someone so tiny can smell so damn rotten."

He fussed a little while she cleaned him up. "I'm sorry, sweetie, I didn't mean to offend you. I love you even though you stink. There's nothing you could ever do to make me stop loving you, my little miracle. My stinky, little miracle."

She finished up with the diaper, found another set of sleepers for him, then carried him over to the glider. After settling in and helping him latch on, she began rocking and singing to him.

Edward was in the bedroom eavesdropping as Bella had forgotten to turn off the monitor. He smiled at her mention of the sex-hair, but sound found himself choking up when he heard her sing:

_I'll love you forever_

_I'll like you for always_

_As long as I'm living_

_My baby you'll be._

While there was a creepy feeling to Robert Munsch's story _Love You Forever_, the song just about killed him every time he heard it. He wondered if his mother had ever rocked and sang to him.

Bella brought the baby back with her after he'd been fed. Edward held out his arms to take him, so Bella could get back into bed.

Nathan stared up at his father, still a little milk-drunk, and smiled.

Grabbing the whiteboard, he wrote a message quickly. _I think the baby just smiled at me._

"It was probably gas."

_Either way, he's got your smile. It's wonderful._

Bella looked at Edward, cupped his cheek, and kissed him. "I miss your voice."

"Me too," he mouthed.

"Soon...I mean you're actually able to croak now; that's a good sign."

He nodded, then yawned.

"I'll put the baby to bed again. I'm tired too."

* * *

"Can I get you some more tea, Esme?" Bella asked.

"Please, I'd love some."

Edward and Carlisle had gone to an appointment at the hospital and then to pay a visit to Dr. Black, leaving their wives home with the baby.

Bella returned with the tea and sat in her recliner.

"Thanks, dear. I'm really going to miss you when we leave. I hope you'll come visit soon."

"I'm going to miss you too. You've been such a huge help—"

"—and such a burden this past week and a half," she finished.

"Esme, you could never be a burden."

"I've been a lump in your living room since..." she trailed off.

Bella sighed. "Esme? Do you want to talk about it?"

She nodded. "I don't like to talk about it around the boys; Carlisle gets so uptight and it hurts Edward. I know, I know, he likes to pretend that it doesn't bother him, but I know it does. It's only been a little over a week, it's still too soon."

"Yeah," Bella said, looking into her mug, swirling her tea.

"I was so frightened when I slipped on that blood in the kitchen, you have no idea what was going through my head. I knew something was really wrong, but I had no idea it was Ed. All I wanted to do was grab you and run, then, when Edward knowingly walked back into it, all I could think was _I can't lose him too_. I really had very little faith that we'd get out alive."

"Me too. I thought my number was up when he said I reminded him of Elizabeth. All I could think about was Peanut and getting out of there and back to my baby. When the chance to run came up, I had to take it. I was so scared to leave you both behind, I mean, Edward already looked dead and I wasn't sure that Ed wouldn't kill you, but it was a our only hope. I hope you know I wasn't abandoning you."

Esme held out her good hand to Bella and smiled. "Never, dear, never. I knew you'd save us."

"I'm just glad that you guys made it out okay. I really hope that Edward's voice comes back though."

"I'm sure he'll be chatting our ears off in no time, I mean, you found yours again, he probably just needs to rest."

Bella started to think about the possibility of never hearing his velvety voice murmuring in her ear again, telling her that he loved her, and she couldn't swallow the lump in her throat. Tears streamed down her face.

"It'll be okay, sweetheart."

Laughing through her tears, Bella wiped her cheeks. "I'm just being ridiculous, Esme. Motherhood has brought out the worst in my weepiness."

"Just let it all out."

"Thanks."

Edward and Carlisle returned later in the afternoon. Bella was in the kitchen cooking dinner, dancing around to the radio when she felt familiar hands cover her eyes.

"Guess who?" Edward rasped.

Bella gasped. "Did I just hear my husband speak?"

He spun her around and smiled. "Yup."

"Oh, baby, I'm so happy to hear you, even if you sound like you gargled with gravel."

Placing a finger over her lips, he leaned toward her ear and said: "I love you."

Unable to control herself, she attacked his mouth and kissed him hard and deeply.

"Looks like there's more cooking in the kitchen than dinner," Carlisle said, laughing. "Son, come say hello to your mother. She's dying to hear you."

Edward walked out to the living room and hugged Esme tightly. "Hi, Mom."

She pulled back to cup his face in her hands. "It's quiet, but it's so nice to hear you again, sweetie."

"He needs to continue resting his voice for a while, but the doctors feel he'll be back to normal in the next couple of months."

"I get to go back to work in two weeks too," he said, a big smile reaching his eyes lighting up his face.

"If you're all done chatting, dinner is ready and I have a hungry baby to feed. I hate to say it, but you know where to find everything you need. I'll be back shortly," Bella said.

The phone rang during dinner. Edward asked Carlisle to answer it since he wasn't sure the caller would be able to hear him, and Bella was nursing in the other room.

"Hello? Yes, this is the Cullen residence...No, I'm sorry, Edward is not able to speak on the phone...I'm his father, Dr. Carlisle Cullen...Yes...Yes...I see...I will let him know...Yes...Can I please get your phone number?"

Edward handed him a notepad and pen. Carlisle scribbled down the number, a name, an address.

"Yes, I have it. Thank you for calling...Yes, I will tell him right away...Thank you."

Edward raised his eyebrow. "Who was it?"

The chair squeaked as Carlisle turned to face Edward. "Son, that was the warden of the maximum security psychiatric facility where Ed was sent."

Edward felt the colour drain from his face. "Did he escape?"

"No, son, he's dead. He passed away this morning."

"How?"

"They aren't sure exactly, but it stands to reason that the taser may have caused damage to his heart and he's been so heavily sedated that he passed in his sleep."

"Oh."

Edward got up calmly and walked out into the kitchen where with one sweep of his arm, he sent everything on the island flying across the room, shattering dishes and splattering food on the walls.

The others all ran in to find him standing in the debris, pulling at his hair.

Bella handed the baby to Carlisle and moved to Edward's side. Taking his hand, she led him to the studio, where she sat him down and ran her other hand thought his hair. "What happened, baby?"

"He's dead," he whispered.

"Who?"

"Ed."

"When?"

"Today."

"Why are you so upset? I thought you would be relieved that he's gone?" she caressed his face, turning him to look at her.

"It's not fair," he said, one lone tear running down his cheek. "He tortured and killed my biological mother, broke my adopted mother's heart and wrist, terrorized you, and tried to kill me on a couple of occasions and he gets to die peacefully in his sleep? How is that fair? Oh yeah, it's NOT!"

He leaned into her and cried. She rubbed his back and hummed to him until he calmed down.

"Sweetheart, it's over. He's gone. There's nothing we can do about it. But so you know, he was a tortured soul and I don't believe for one moment that he died peacefully." She kissed the top of his head.

_Okay, _he thought, _my sperm donor is dead. The man who killed my mother and beat me, the douchewad who tried to kill ME more than once, is gone. Sure, he was my father, but he was never my dad. I have no real emotional attachment to him. He's gone. He can't hurt me, hurt US, anymore. It's over._

Inhaling deeply, then exhaling loudly, he looked at Bella and smiled. "It's over."

"Yes, love, it's really over."

"Unless he becomes a zombie and bites James, I daresay that we are finally free."

When it hit her full-force, that there was nothing left to fear, she let out a relieved sob and held Edward to her tightly.

Carlisle and Esme joined them, and the four of them laughed and cried until they were dried out.

The psychiatric facility asked Edward what he wanted to do with the remains. Edward told them to cremate him and he'd take care of the disposal.

Edward, Bella, and Nathan flew back to the Northwest with the ashes the following week. After much deliberation, angry outbursts, and heated debates, they decided that although he was a sick, cruel man, Ed Sr. deserved a proper burial. Edward purchased a small plot for him, with a simple stone bearing only his name and vital dates. There would be no big ornate marble marker, no declarations that Edward Anthony Masen Sr. was a beloved father, husband, or son. This man went through life mostly alone, surrounded by the voices that told him to hurt, to kill. There might have been one person who had truly loved him, and he had killed her. Yes, he was a monster, but he was a human being, and he deserved better than being laid to rest in an unmarked grave in a potter's field. Even Edward couldn't deny that.

So, on an overcast day, in a back corner of a cemetery in Forks, Edward, Bella, Nathan, Carlisle, and Esme said goodbye to their old life of fear, put to rest the last pieces of their tortured pasts, and took their first steps toward normal.

Whatever that was.

* * *

_**So, um, yeah...that is the last official chapter, per se, of Road Maps. There is an epilogue coming up in the next week or so, and then I'll work away at the outtakes.**_

_**There are no words to thank you, to express my gratitude for all the wonderful reviews, messages, encouragement, laughs, etc. It makes my heart sad that this is almost over.**_

_**Please keep sending in suggestions for outtakes. I'm writing them all down and will whittle away at them over time. :) The first one I can tell you for sure, will be what happened between chapter one and two of Branded. Be sure to subscribe to the Road Maps outtakes story and set me on author alert so you'll know when I post the first Branded outtake.**_

_**I *heart* you guys.  
**_


	35. Ch 35 Bittersweet Symphony

_**Okay, here goes. I didn't want to end the story without adding this, and it just didn't fit into the main part of the story, so it's a quasi-epilogue/outtake.**_

_**Voting has now begun at the Twilight All Human Fanfiction Awards. **_**Branded _and _Road Maps _are both nominated and I would be honoured if someone felt so compelled to go vote for them. Please go check it out at _**www DOT twilightallhumanawards DOT webs DOT com/voting DOT htm

**_Again, thank you all so much for the love and support while writing both stories. I'm floored at the response, and I really can't put into words just how amazing you all make me feel._**

**_Enough of my waxing pathetic. On to _Bittersweet Symphony_, the quasi-epilogue, and final installment of Road Maps._**

**_Again, Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I just have a lot of wonderful friends, which is worth its weight in gold.

* * *

_**

The plane landed at Halifax International Airport in a bank of fog. The late April day was starting off grey and damp, but according to the forecast, it would eventually burn off and clear up.

The weary travelers picked up their luggage and slowly headed toward the car rental counter. Edward loved his son, but cursed the amount of luggage and equipment required for traveling with an infant. He was glad he'd rented a large SUV because it looked like they were going to need it. Jacob had told them they were more than equipped to help, but Bella insisted on bringing their own things.

As soon as they packed up the vehicle, secured the baby in his seat, and programmed the GPS unit, they made a b-line to the nearest Tim Horton's where Edward bought himself a large double-double and a 20 pack of Timbits. Bella asked for an apple cider since she was still trying to stay away from caffeine.

"Hmph, one of these trips I'll get to have a coffee," she pouted.

"You're not missing out on anything," he tried to assure her.

"If it wasn't so damn good, then why is it the only thing you've been able to talk about since we hit Canadian airspace?"

Edward blushed. "Sorry, love."

She laughed as she sipped at her hot cider.

They arrived in Sackville two and a half hours later. They would have made it sooner, but Peanut had put up a fuss just outside of Truro, so they pulled over so Bella could feed him.

Jacob ran out of the house to greet them once they pulled in. "You made it!" he said, hugging Bella and fist-bumping Edward. He helped unload the SUV and carry their luggage into the house. He motioned for them to be quiet and pointed toward the living room where Leah dozed in a recliner, her baby bump so big it almost obscured her face.

"May I?" he asked quietly, holding his large dark hands out toward Peanut, who stretched his own arms toward him.

"Of course," Bella said, handing him over. "He might need to be changed. Let me know if he smells funky."

Jacob held the baby up to his face and smiled. "Boy, you're growing like a weed, aren't you, little buddy." He removed the knit cap from his head and gasped. "Holy crap, kiddo, what are they doing to your hair?"

"He has his father's hair, if you hadn't guessed," Edward said, sighing.

Nathan grasped Jacob's finger, gave it a squeeze, and smiled a toothless grin.

"Man, he's pretty strong for a little guy."

"Yeah, you really have to watch him around your hair; he loves to grab it."

"I can't wait to meet my boys."

"Boys?" Bella asked. "You're having boys?"

"Oh yeah, I figured Leah had told you. Poor girl's hanging on, but I think she's about ready to burst. It's really too bad she can't fully enjoy this weekend."

"I heard that! I'm going to party like it's 1998 and then I'm going to pop these puppies out and party like it's 1999!" Leah called out. "Come here and give me some love!"

Bella rushed over to hug her.

"I'm as big as a house," she lamented.

"You're beautiful, Leah. You make a stunning mother-to-be."

"Pfft, if stunning means bloated, swollen and queen of the cankles, then hand me my tiara."

"Cankles?" Edward asked Jacob.

"You don't know what cankles are? Dude! Cankles are what happens when a woman's ankles are swollen as large as her calves and you can't differentiate where one ends and the other begins...calf + ankle= cankle."

Leah lifted a leg and rotated her ankle. "Sir Edward, I give you a prime example of a cankle."

"How can you be a doctor and not know that term?"

"I must not be a very good doctor."

"Jacob, hand me that baby and go get some drinks, please."

"She adds the please so she doesn't feel guilty for ordering me around all the time," Jacob muttered to Edward as they walked toward the kitchen.

"I heard that!"

"Yes, honey, you hear everything. I know."

"I don't know how he puts up with me; I've been such a bitch."

Bella laughed. "I've been there, honey. I think men are hardwired to put up with our crabbiness when we're carrying their children. Or, it could be that we have the two most patient men on the planet."

Leah fussed over Nathan, who was wriggling in her arms. "God, he's gorgeous, Bella. How's motherhood been?"

"Tiring, but so worth it. I can't even imagine my life without him; spit-ups and leaky, shitty, diapers included. He is a little behind on some milestones most babies his age have reached by this time, but the paediatrician said that it's normal for preemies. He's making good progress, though; he rolled over for the first time last week."

"I heard him say _mama_ the other day," Edward said as he walked back into the room with some bottled water.

Bella snorted. "I missed it."

"He'll say it again, love. Did she tell you that he rolled over?"

"Yes! It's so exciting! I can't wait to watch our own babies do all that."

Bella put a blanket down on the floor so the baby could show off while they chatted.

"I'm sorry the place is such a mess and I hope the bed will be comfortable enough," Leah said.

"It'll be fine, Leah. Stop worrying."

"So, how is this thing going to work?" Edward asked.

"Well, if you're not too tired, the gang has asked that you pop by the rehearsal tonight, as well as the session tomorrow morning. The performance is tomorrow night at 7."

Edward shook his head. "I can't even believe this is happening. It boggles my mind that a full orchestra is performing the song I hummed to Bella during her nightmares. It makes no sense!"

"It's brilliant, Edward. Everyone is excited to meet you and are thrilled that you'll be playing the piano part."

Edward pinched the bridge of his nose. "I haven't performed in front of an audience since I was twelve. What if I screw up?"

Bella ran her fingers through his hair in an attempt to soothe him. "You're going to be wonderful. You've been practicing every chance that you get, not to mention you wrote the song, so there's no excuse—you know it better than anyone else does."

"I can't help but feel a little nervous."

"Edward, stop being such a Worryward! Now, what's new?" Leah asked.

"Not much, really. Things have been so quiet, so...so normal, there's really not a lot to report." Edward replied.

"Well," Bella said, hesitantly, "there was that thing with the money."

"Oh yeah, that," Edward said, suddenly very sullen.

"We told you about the business with Edward's biological father, right?"

They nodded. "Edward lost his voice for quite a while," Leah said.

"Yeah, I was whispering for a couple of months and I still lose my voice when I get tired or talk for too long."

"So, your sperm donor, he died, didn't he?" Jacob asked.

"Yeah, he did and it turns out he had a life insurance policy—a substantial one, and as his only living blood relative, it came to me."

"Well, that's good, right?"

"We didn't want it. I didn't want it. I couldn't justify taking it, so we created the _Elizabeth Masen Fund_."

"Was that your mother?"

"Yes."

"The _Elizabeth Masen Fund_ is set up to help battered women and children get the money they need to get out of an abusive situation. It's still VERY new, we're still working out the kinks. It's become a wonderful family project, though. It's also helping fund Art Therapy groups for children who have endured horrendous abuse.

"There's a lot of good that can come of Ed Sr.'s money, which makes it all feel a little easier to deal with. Maybe in death he can do more good than he did when he was alive."

"That's great, guys. If there's anything we can do to help, please let us know."

"Well, actually, I was thinking that maybe we could divide the sales, if any, of the recording of the lullaby, between the Mount Allison University Faculty of Music and the _Elizabeth Masen Fund_."

"Wow, really? You'd give up your proceeds for us?" Leah said, choking up a little. "That's awesome, Edward. OW!" She said, doubling over.

"Are you okay?" Bella asked.

"Yeah," Leah panted. "The little devils are playing soccer with my kidneys."

"Football, honey, my babies don't play soccer, they play football."

Leah rolled her eyes before continuing. "So, other than all that, everything is good?"

"Couldn't be better. Esme's wrist healed up nicely although she's still in physio; however, she's got most of her range of motion back. She and Carlisle are planning a big trip to Africa in the future as he's signed up for a rotation with Doctors Without Borders. She's going along to get inspired and to help out where she can.

"Alice and Jasper have finally set a wedding date. They're planning to do it next July, and have been hinting that they would like too rent your father's cottage for the honeymoon. Well, Jasper really does; Alice, however, has said that there's not enough shopping to be had at the beach, so she's pushing for Milan or Hong Kong."

Leah laughed. "I didn't get to spend much time with Alice, but I'm pretty certain that the Amherst Shopping Centre or Dieppe's Champlain Place won't satisfy her needs."

"Speaking of the cottage, are you guys joining us this summer?" Jacob asked.

"We certainly hope to work something out so we can spend at least a week with you guys sometime in August," Bella said.

"Yay!" Leah squealed, clapping her hands.

Nathan rolled over at the sound and began to wail. Edward scooped him up and began to hum to him. The baby quickly stopped fussing and amused himself with pulling on his father's hair.

"Since I don't feel like cooking, how would you guys like to head over to Joey's for dinner?"

"Mm...that sounds fantastic. I need to feed Peanut and try to get him to nap a bit first. Can everyone hold out that long?"

Jacob grabbed the phone. "I'll go make reservations; just to be sure we can get in. Be right back."

Leah got up to show Bella where they were going to be sleeping, and where she could feed the baby. They sat together on the bed and chatted while Peanut ate, then the three of them dozed off.

Edward and Jacob went upstairs to check on them and laughed when they spotted them asleep, sitting up against the headboard.

"Let's leave them for a while," Edward suggested.

* * *

It was a good call on Jacob's part to make the reservation at Joey's. The pizzeria/restaurant was packed. They were directed to a massive table set for ten.

"Uhm, are you sure this is our table? There are too many places set," Edward asked.

"We have some friends joining us. I hope you don't mind," Jacob said, winking at Leah.

They ordered drinks while they were waiting and just as the waitress was serving them, Bella heard a familiar voice. She jumped up and squealed. "Alice! Jasper! What are..."

She trailed off as Emmett, Rosalie, Lily, Carlisle, and Esme all filed into the restaurant behind Alice and Jasper.

Edward stood up, shock etched on his face. "How? What? Why?"

Leah took the baby from him so he could go hug his surprise.

"Leah got in touch with us with the details of the concert. This is an important moment in your life, son, you didn't think we'd miss it, did you?" Carlisle said, hugging him.

"I'm a little offended you didn't invite us yourself," Alice pouted.

"I didn't think you'd want to travel all this way for one song. I'm sorry," he said, hugging Alice. "I'm so happy you're all here."

Alice danced over to Leah. "May I have my nephew? He's gotten so big—ooh, and so have you! You should really let me do some shopping for you while I'm here."

The entire Cullen/Hale/Swan group groaned. "ALICE!"

"What? I just thought I'd give her a hand. I'm just being helpful. So, can we eat? I'm famished!"

Everyone sat down, ordered food and talked loudly. Edward looked around the table and smiled. Bella took his hand in hers and leaned her head on his shoulder.

"Whatcha thinkin'?"

Edward let off a big, content sigh. "I'm thinkin' that I'm probably the most blessed man in the world right now."

"If that's true, then I'm the most blessed woman in the world."

Emmett was bouncing Lily on his lap while Jasper bounced Peanut beside them. The babies laughed and squealed happily while the grown-ups looked on in adoration. When they stopped bouncing, Emmett took Peanut from Jasper and held both babies. Peanut grabbed Lily's little fist and began sucking on it.

"Aww," everyone said.

Alice smiled. "Best friends already. They're lucky that they'll probably grow up together. I loved growing up with Edward; sure he used to drive me nuts for being perfect and banging on that piano, but I always knew I had someone to turn to."

Carlisle raised his glass of wine. "To family!"

Everyone raised their glasses. "Family!"

* * *

Edward and Leah arrived back from rehearsal shortly after ten that night. Too tired to talk, Leah went straight to her bedroom. Edward found Bella in bed working on her laptop. He sat beside her and gave her a kiss.

"How'd it go?"

"Phenomenal, Bella, absolutely phenomenal. I might have to quit medicine to become a concert pianist because it was truly incredible. Oh, love, I can't wait for you to hear it! Never in a million years did I ever think it would sound like this. It's even better than it sounded on the DVD Leah gave us at Christmas."

Bella cupped his face in her hands and smiled. "Your eyes are shining."

He blushed.

"If you ever decided that you wanted to pursue music full-time, I'd be okay with that."

He smiled. "Thanks. It's good to know." He yawned. "I'm exhausted. I'm going to turn in; we have to be at the auditorium again in the morning."

"I'm going to keep editing, if that's okay. I'm almost done."

"Really?" Edward said, standing to change into his pyjamas. "As in, almost-done-the-final-draft?"

"Yes! Thank God. As much as I have loved this project, I'll be glad to take a break. Of course there'll be more editing and I'm going to have to go to Montreal to proof the photobook, but I'm that much closer to almost being done."

"You're going to have to bring Peanut to Montreal, aren't you?"

Bella sighed. "One of the downfalls of breastfeeding; I'm not quite ready to leave him alone for a couple of days, not to mention I'm not all that keen on pumping," she rubbed her breasts ruefully.

"It's okay, I'll just have to survive without you two; all alone," he sighed melodramatically, giving her puppy dog eyes.

Bella swatted him with a pillow. "I thought you were going to bed."

"I am. Goodnight, little one," he said, kissing his sleeping son's head. "Goodnight, love," he said to Bella, kissing her on the lips.

"Mmm..." she moaned against his lips. "Why didn't we rent a hotel room? I feel like getting loud," she said, growling.

"Easy, tigress. I need my beauty sleep. Now, good night. I love you."

* * *

Bella and the rest of the family paced nervously in the lobby of Convocation Hall as streams of people passed by to enter the auditorium.

"If either one of the kids makes a stink, I'll bring them out," Rosalie offered as she balanced Lily on one hip.

"Thank you," Bella replied, shooting her a look of gratitude.

Jacob came out, smiling. "Okay everyone, your seats are ready."

They filed down to the front row, taking their seats. The lights dimmed and the sound of instruments being tuned one final time filled the air. A spotlight appeared on the stage and Leah waddled out. She waved to the front row and smiled before speaking.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Leah Clearwater and I would like to thank you for joining us this evening for what has been a real labour of love for all involved.

"Tonight is the public premier of a piece written by my friend, Edward Cullen. He kindly shared it with me over the summer and I instantly fell in love with it, as has everyone else involved in this project. As this is my final year in the music program, I chose to use this piece as the base of my thesis.

"We have taken this stunning piece of music from a piano-only composition Edward had in his head to this full, and if I might say so myself, rich, orchestral piece.

"So, please help me welcome the talented Edward Cullen as he performs his piece, _Bella's Lullaby_ with full accompaniment by members of both the Mount Allison Symphonic Band and Chamber Orchestra."

The curtain lifted to show a shiny ensemble of instruments but the focal point was the beautiful, shiny, grand piano. Bella felt the air catch in her lungs when her husband took the stage, looking handsome as hell in his tuxedo. He hugged Leah, who was standing on the conductor's dais, before turning to smile toward Bella.

"Thank you to everyone who has worked so hard on making this little song with such a big meaning, into something truly breathtaking. I composed this song when I met my beautiful wife, Bella, when I was sixteen years old. She put a song in my heart the moment I met her and she still makes me want to sing every day. So, I'd like to dedicate this to Bella, our beautiful son, Nathan, and to the rest of my family, who are all here. I love you all.

"Sorry," he said, blushing, "I didn't mean to go on like that. So, here it is, _Bella's Lullaby_."

The crowd clapped and cheered. Bella couldn't help but scowl when she overheard some girls making cat calls at her husband.

Edward sat at the piano, stretched his fingers, shook out his arms, poised his hands above the ebony and ivories, and nodded to Leah, who tapped her baton on the music stand. The other musicians raised their instruments, watched her count out the beats, then Edward began.

Nathan, who had been staring with much fascination at his fingers, suddenly sat up, looked at the stage, and began to bounce on his mother's lap. He probably knew the song better than the musicians did.

When the other musicians joined in, it was all Bella could do to contain herself. The feeling she was experiencing reminded her of the first time she and Edward had been to The Edge of the World, when they had grasped hands and ran toward the horizon. She felt uplifted, inspired, and blessed. She kissed the top of Nathan's head and smiled.

Esme, who was seated to her left, grasped her arm, and sighed. Bella looked over and saw tears rolling down her face.

The music filled the room and their souls with the love story she knew so well; it was their love story, fraught with joy, pain, tenderness, desperation, love, fear, and finally, peace.

She thought back to the first days, when this beautiful song was the only thing that could save her from the shadows and the monsters that lurked within. She felt Edward's arms around her as she fought her demons, his hand on her back when she was sick, his long adept fingers lovingly tracing the scars that marked her as broken and reclaiming them as something beautiful.

Then there was their miracle, the bronze-haired baby who babbled happily in her arms while his father played, and the family surrounding them. Never in a million years did she ever think she'd find a life beyond the pain of losing her parents and the abuse inflicted on her by James.

The sum of the many parts of her life were being performed on that stage. If someone were to ask her to describe the life she'd lived, she'd just play them this song. It said it all.

Edward was lost in the music. It was him and the piano, although he could feel that Bella was nearby. He wrangled with the forte, and drifted on the pianissimo. He rode the phrases high and low while he was enveloped in a symphonic bubble.

How had he, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen II, come from living the life of an abused child at the hands of his mother's killer, to playing a little song he used to hum for his beautiful wife and now his son, on a stage in front of hundreds of people.

When he played the final notes of the song, he took a deep breath and waited. There was a moment of heavy silence before the auditorium erupted in applause and cheering. Edward looked over to Leah who was wiping joyful tears from her face. He looked down in to the crowd and saw his family, clapping and screaming for him.

Taking a deep breath, he stood, gestured to the other musicians, bowing before he clapped for them. They were fantastic, talented, and he was thankful for the love and dedication they had shown to the song. They all stood and cheered as he walked over to Leah. He gave her a hug and felt her stiffen.

"What's wrong?" he whispered loudly over the din.

"I think my water just broke."

* * *

_**Yes, I am cruel and horrible and I ended the story there. This isn't a Jake and Leah story, it's a Bella and Edward story. We know they have twin boys. It doesn't really need to go any further. As I said, this is an epilogue/outtake and really, it doesn't have a real place. I just really needed for Edward to perform the lullaby. I wrote this chapter in a fit of selfishness. ;) I hope you're not all pissed off at me.  
**_

_**So, that's it. Maybe someday I'll pick this story up, and maybe I'll just leave it where it is, with B&E finally finding the peace and happiness they deserve and need.**_

_**I'm still taking requests for outtakes, so drop me a line and let me know. I started on the first one already, so those of you who don't have me on author alert, you might want to so you'll know when the Branded Outtakes story goes up. The first outtake is of what happens between Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 of Branded. **_

_**Again, THANK YOU so much for making this experience well worth it. It was worth the long hours, the hand cramps, and the insanity. I NEVER thought the stories would get the reaction they have. As of tonight, August 2nd, 2009, there have been 129,129 hits, a total of 1324 reviews (between Branded, Road Maps and the RM Outtakes) and some wonderful new friendships.**_

_**Before I get all Sapward, I will end off by saying again, THANK YOU! It's breaking my heart to say goodbye to them, but I think it's time.  
**_

_**(and please go vote for Branded and Road Maps at **_www DOT twilightallhumanawards DOT webs DOT com/voting DOT htm _**if you're so inclined.)**_


	36. Chapter 36

**ATTENTION FAITHFUL READERS!**

**I just wanted to remind you all that there are outtakes posted for both Branded and Road Maps. **

**You can find the links on my profile page.**

**Don't forget to add them to your alerts so you know when there are new ones posted. As of right now (September 8, 2009) there are 9 outtakes for Branded and 3 for Road Maps. New ones are being put up as soon as they are ready.**

**I also can't thank you enough for the love and support you've all given me on this journey. YOU are the reason I keep writing, even when I hit a wall, it's your encouragement that keeps me going.**

**Big Emmett-sized hugs to you all.**

**Spread the love.**

**xoxo**

**Leelan Oleander**


	37. NathanRM sequel?

**_I know I said that I was leaving the gang in Road Maps and probably not coming back to them, but I may have, er...lied. As I was editing and reposting the story on Twilighted, I realized that I still had a lot of love for these characters, and I really wanted to see them down the road to see how Peanut was doing. _**

**_I never intended to start it so soon, but Peanut had stuff to say, so I let him run with it._**

**_This is VERY rough, and if I continue with this story (after I finish Encore), this chapter may change. _**

**_I am posting this as a HUGE thank you to my readers, to all of you who remain faithful in your devotion to the flawed characters I have presented, for all the well-wishes when I'm sick, and for just being the coolest people around. I have made so many great friends through FF and this little sneak peek is my thank you to you._**

**_We pick up with the gang when Peanut and Bean are fourteen years old, and this story is told from Peanut's POV only._**

**_

* * *

_**

"You're what?" I yelled, completely floored by the incredibly bizarre information I'd just been privy to. "Can you please repeat that? My brain farted and I think I didn't hear you clearly."

"Nathan, sweetie, I'm pregnant."

No way. Someone is playing a practical joke on me. There's no way.

"Son?"

"Yeah, Dad?"

"Are you happy?"

Am I happy? What kind of question is that? "Um, sure? I'm just in shock." I scratched my head. "How?"

Dad shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I guess I wasn't clear enough when we had this discussion before, buddy. When a man loves a woman…"

"EW! No more, Dad. I don't want to think about you and Mom getting it on," I said, instinctively copying my father's actions with the pinching of the nose. "It's bad enough I've walked in on it and had to hear it." I shuddered at the thought. "So, uh, when will I be taking on big brother duties?"

My mom smiled at me and I felt horrible for freaking out. They've been trying for the past thirteen years to have another baby, but no luck. They'd pretty much resigned themselves to the horrible truth that my birth had wrecked Mom. I felt badly about it, and they kept saying that I was their miracle, they loved me, and that it wasn't my fault.

It would have been nice to have a brother around when I was a kid, because the only real friend I ever had for the longest time was my cousin Lily, aka, Bean. She's cool and all, but lately she's gotten all girlie. Ever since she got her period she's been acting more like Aunt Alice than anyone else.

Women.

Oh, Mom was saying something. "What Ma?"

"Peanut, did you take your Ritalin today? You haven't heard a word I said, did you?"

I thought back to breakfast, a mere three hours ago. Had I taken my pills? Oops. "No, Ma, sorry. I'll take them now."

Dad grabbed the bottle from the cupboard by the sink and tapped out a couple of tablets. "Thanks, Doc," I said, as I popped them into my mouth and swallowed them dry.

"Nathan Charlie Cullen, I don't know how you can do that. Ugh. Makes my stomach roll."

I grinned. "Well, Isabella Marie Cullen, maybe it's the baby and not my pill-eating doing that. So, when are you due?" I hopped up onto the breakfast bar.

Dad passed me a glass of water a little too late as he spoke. "If you had been paying attention, you'd know that your mother is due around Christmas."

"Cool." I gulped down some of the water to appease Mom. "Can we call it Jesus?"

"PEANUT!" my parents scolded in unison, like always. Sometimes they freaked me out with their ability to function as one unit. I held my hands up in surrender. "Sorry, that was inappropriate. Hey, are we still going to the cottage for vacation? The twins were freaking out at me online last night."

Dad walked over and ruffled my already crazy dark bronze hair. "Yes, we'll still be going to the cottage. You and your mother will leave in the next couple of weeks, and I'll join you the following week."

"Is Lily coming?"I asked as I grabbed a banana, an orange, and an apple and started juggling them. I've got mad skills, I tell you.

"Well, that depends. Emmett and Rose grounded her for _borrowing_ their credit card for an online shopping spree. I'll talk to Rose later to see what they're saying." Mom said, grabbing the banana and peeling it.

"Ma! I was juggling!"

She smiled as she bit into it. "I'm growing a baby, baby, I need my potassium."

Dad laughed as he left my side and walked toward her. "Well, I'm off to the office. I'll be home after I visit some patients at the hospital tonight." He leaned in and kissed her. "Love you, my Bella."

"I love you more," she said, returning his kiss with a little more tongue than I was comfortable with.

"Ahem."

"Oh, I love you too, Peanut. Don't feel so left out."

I groaned. "Are you guys ever going to stop calling me Peanut?"

"Nope. Now don't forget to practice today, and clean your room. Please."

"Yes, Dr. Cullen."

My dad smiled at me, winked, and left for the office. He was a pediatrician, and from what I'm told, a pretty good one.

The door slammed and I heard mumbling that was definitely not coming from my Dad.

"Stupid assholes! How dare they…? Oh, hi, Auntie B. Sorry for the swearing."

Mom shook her head and opened her arms. Lily ran over and gave her a hug. "Mom and Dad are being so unfair. It's not as if I spent THAT much money. Only four hundred dollars. I NEEDED those boots."

"Are you still grounded?" Mom asked as she rubbed Bean's back.

Bean humphed. "Yes."

I jumped down from my perch. "How could you be so stupid, Bean? You were supposed to come to the cottage with us. The twins are going to be PISSED!"

"I know! Ugh. Daddy can be so pig-headed. Mom's not much better. Sheesh, sometimes I wish I could move to New York with Aunt Alice. She'd understand."

Bean moved away from Mom and grabbed the apple I had been juggling. These women would be the death of my circus career. "So, you can't come?" I asked, fearful of her answer. It wasn't that I didn't love hanging with the twins alone, it's just that Bean has never missed a summer with me in Nova Scotia and even though she's become a bit of a bitchy drama queen lately, she's still my best friend.

"Well," she said, before biting into the apple, "Dad came up with something. He said that I could work off the money I spent by detailing cars at the dealership. The faster I do them, the faster I can get the hell out of Dodge. So, Nate, buddy o' mine, brother by another mother…"

Shit. I knew what was coming. I was about to get suckered into cleaning cars for her while she talked and texted her girlie BFFs.

FML.

"Bean, I don't know. I've got chores and piano practice, and, well, now that Mom's knocked up I have to help her out around here more."

"Whoa…Bella? Auntie B? You're knocked up? Preggo? Really?"

Mom glared at me and I shrugged back at her. "What?"

"Lily, sweetie, we haven't made it public yet. Can you please keep this between us until we tell everyone?"

Bean was jumping up and down and squealing like a crazy fangirl. "Auntie B! This is awesome! Aren't you excited, Nate? Why didn't you tell me?" She punctuated each word with a punch to my arm.

I blocked her last punch and rubbed my arm ruefully. She had a wicked fist. "I just found out. Jeez, Lil, chill out."

"Can I go shopping with you? Is it a boy or a girl? Oh my God, no wonder I thought you were getting fat!" She put her hand on Mom's stomach. "How far along are you?"

"I'm about three months."

Bean was still rubbing Mom's belly like she was some sort of lucky Buddha or something. Why do girls get all weird around pregnant women? God, the older I get, the less I understand the female of the species.

They continued their estrogen-fuelled conversation while I mulled things over.

"Why did you wait so long to say anything?"

Hmm, good question. "Yeah, Ma, why DID you wait so long?"

Mom smiled but looked kind of sad. "We didn't want to jinx it. After everything that's happened in the past, we just wanted to wait until after the first trimester to say anything. And, if you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly a spring chicken."

"Duh," Lily said, twirling a lock of blonde hair around her finger.

"BEAN!" I scolded.

"Sorry, Auntie B."

"Well," Mom continued, "as women get older, there's a greater chance of birth defects, problematic pregnancies, it becomes harder to conceive, and as you know we haven't had much luck in the past. I know that there are women much older than I am who are having healthy, normal pregnancies, but really, when have I ever been normal?"

"Hello?" I said, waving to them. "Fruit of your broken loin sitting here. Miracle baby feeling left out over here"

"Oh, sweetpea, you'll always be our miracle boy. This new baby won't change that." Mom moved over to hug me. "You'll always be my baby."

"Enough, Ma," I said, swatting at her. This gesture prompted her to laugh and ruffle my already unruly hair. Hopefully this new kid won't be cursed with Dad's _sex hair_ as I have been. Christ, what a pain in the ass it is. Bean kicked a lot of asses when we were younger; seems kids like to beat up on the near-ginger kids with crazy hair. Mom said that as I get older, women will go crazy over it. Not likely.

"Hey, Nate Dog? Hello? Did you take your _ooh shiny_ pills today? You're a total space cadet." Bean poked at me with a ladle she'd pulled out of the dish drainer.

"What? Oh, I was late taking them. Sorry, what'd you say?"

Her hands moved to her hips and I knew that I had better tread lightly with whatever it was she had been talking about. "Are you going to help me or what?"

"What do you think, Bean?" I sighed because I knew it was a lost cause; I couldn't say no to my best friend.

"Yay! I love you, Nate! I'm going to tell Mom and Dad. We can start this afternoon. Bye, Auntie B. I promise I won't ruin your secret."

* * *

The phone rang half an hour later. Mom was in the can so she asked me to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Peanut? Put your effin' mother on the phone NOW!"

"Nice to hear from you too, Aunt Ro. Why yes, I'm well, thanks for asking?"

Her voice softened. "I'm sorry, Peanut. Is my moronic sister-in-law there?"

"Sorry, she's in the crapper."

"Jebus, kid, don't let your mother hear you talking like that, she'll kill your uncle Em. Now please, Nathan, darling, put her on the phone. I don't care if she's got explosive diarrhea. Put. Her. On. The. Phone."

"Aunt Ro, please don't. I know what you're going to say and I know that Bean spilled the beans. She wasn't supposed to know—I kind of blew it. Mom really wants to be the one to tell everyone; please don't ruin this for her. I think she's going to do it tonight at dinner."

I heard her sigh. "Okay, buddy. You're a good kid, you know that, right?"

"Yeah, yeah, I know, _Perfect Peanut_."

Aunt Ro laughed. "Why can't you rub off on your cousin?"

"She's like Teflon, my awesomeness slides off her like a fried egg."

She laughed harder. "Thanks for offering to help Bean at the shop. You could have said no, you know."

"No, I couldn't have said no. Summer at the shore wouldn't be the same without her, even though she's annoying as hell sometimes. Hey, can I ask you something, Aunt Ro? Why do girls get crazy when they get their periods?"

I think I heard choking on the other end of the line. "Maybe you should talk to your mom about that. I have to go torture your cousin before you two head out to the dealership. I promise I won't ruin your mom's surprise. Talk to you later, kiddo."

"Later, Ro."

Mom came around the corner and squinted at me. "Was that Rosalie?"

"Yup."

"What did she want?"

"She called to tell me how awesome I am." I buffed my short nails on my shoulder. "Cuz, you know, I am."

Mom hugged me. Did I mention my parents are big time huggers? They're always hugging. They get it from Gram ME and Pop C, who hug all the time.

"Did you practice yet?"

"No, Ma."

"Go practice, I'll make lunch. Can't send my boy out to do the evil bidding of his best friend on an empty stomach, can I?"

I started to walk away. "Okay."

"Peanut?" she called out.

"Yeah, Ma?"

"Are you…okay with all this?" She rubbed her belly.

"Let me digest it while I run some scales, 'kay? We can talk over lunch."

"Thanks, kiddo."

I turned back before I left the room. "Ma?"

She smiled at me as she spoke, "Yes, sweetpea?"

"I love you."

Her smile got even bigger. "Right back atcha."

I moved to the music room and sat at the baby grand; my home away from home. They tell me I showed some major aptitude for music when I was a baby and I started tickling the ivories when I was two. They call me a prodigy. I guess my dad was too. I mean, he's a doctor now, but he's also a composer. Aunt Lee Lee did some awesome arrangements of Dad's compositions and now there're orchestras out there that play his stuff.

I couldn't wait to see Aunt Lee Lee, Uncle Jake, and the twins, Sam and Billy. I've spent every summer for the past fourteen years with them. Actually, it could be fifteen if you count when Mom and Dad were on their honeymoon and I was a tiny peanut in her womb.

"I don't hear any scales in there," Mom called from the kitchen.

"Just flexing my fingers, Ma." I began running my fingers up and down the keys. "See?"

She laughed. I liked hearing Mom laugh. It made me feel good.

So, where was I? Oh yeah, babies. I'm going to be almost fifteen when the baby is born. That could be kind of cool, but I won't reap the benefit of having a sibling who wants to do anything other than puke, crap its pants, or cry until I'm too old to care, or not living here. When the kid is fifteen, I'll be thirty and will probably have kids of my own. Man, why do I suddenly feel old, and why is this happening now?

I mean, I'm happy for them. I know they wanted to have more kids and whether or not they know, I know that Mom miscarried a couple of times. I'm not stupid.

My fingers did another series of scales, up and down the keys, as I continued to think about the issue at hand. Mom and Dad are afraid that I won't feel loved anymore. I know they'll still love me and all that, but that's not my biggest concern. What if Mom dies again like she did when I was born and they can't bring her back this time? I don't want Mom to die. I'd rather have a Mom than a brother or sister.

Man, this sucks.

"Nathan, sweetie, what's wrong?" Mom was suddenly beside the piano, looking concerned.

"Nothing, why?"

"You've switched from major to minor. You usually only spend time warming up in the minor scales when you're upset. Come on; let's talk in the kitchen while I finish making lunch. You can finish later."

"Okay."

Mom puttered around and made our favourite lunch; grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup. I'm a complicated man with simple, but refined taste buds. What can I say?

"Kiddo," she started, "I know that springing this baby thing on you has probably got you over thinking everything, just like your father. Edward used to worry so much that I used to worry that he'd end up with an ulcer." Mom dipped her sandwich into her mug of soup. "It's normal to have concerns and I want you to know that we're here for you, we'll listen. Got it?"

"Mm…"I mumbled, mouth full of food.

"Don't talk with your mouth full, Peanut. Didn't I teach you anything? Maybe I should have a chat with Uncle Emmett?" She winked at me.

"Oh, come on, Ma; leave poor Uncle Em out of it. It's not his fault."

"No, it's Bean's fault and she learned from watching her father."

"Who did Uncle Em learn from? Grandpa Charlie?"

Mom flashed that nostalgic, quasi-sad smile she reserved for when anyone brought up Grandpa Charlie and Nanny Renee. They died when my mom was just a little older than me, and she still misses them. "No, sweetpea, Grandpa Charlie was sweet and polite. Well, he was quiet and gruff when he needed to be, but he didn't walk around burping and farting and cussing like a sailor like Uncle Em. I guess he's just a freak of nature."

I laughed. "Sounds right to me." I dipped my own sandwich into my soup before taking a bite.

"So, after all we've thrown on you today, do you have any fears?"

"Clowns."

Mom swatted at me. "Smart ass; I meant fears about the baby."

Do I tell her? I don't want her to worry about me, she has enough on her plate as it is. "Nah, I don't know. I mean, I'll be going off to college when it hits the terrible twos and you and Dad'll be stuck dealing with it alone. Do you think you guys can handle it without me?"

"We handled you AND Bean, buddy. I think we're more than equipped."

"Yeah," I said, pointing the corner of my sandwich at her, "but you were a lot younger back then."

"Oh my God, how old do you think I am? Thirty-eight is not old, but you're making me feel like I'm eighty." She shook her head sadly. "Now I understand why Carlisle and Esme always felt old.

"You know, when you and Bean went through your terrible twos, your father was working crazy hours at the hospital? He was still doing his residency. That was also when Aunt Ro was sick, so I pretty much had to deal with you guys by myself, and I think I did an okay job."

"Except that Uncle Em undid all of your hard work when he took Bean back."

Mom snickered. "She was a handful. You never caused a single problem on your own, however, when she would drag you along on her misadventures…you two got into an awful lot of messes."

I blushed. People are always telling me what a great kid I am. I don't, like, go out of my way to be so great, it just sort of happens, and poor Bean is ALWAYS in trouble. I guess she's the yin to my yang.

Personally, I think that part of Bean's problem stems from not having her Mom around for almost a year. Aunt Ro had ovarian cancer, and from what I'm told, she almost didn't survive it. Mom said that Aunt Ro is too stubborn to let cancer beat her, and sure enough, she kicked its ass. She went away to be treated by the best doctors in North America, and they had to remove all her baby-making parts, which totally bummed her out for a while, but she got over it pretty quick. I overheard Dad explain that Bean's stubborn and defiant nature scared Aunt Ro out of considering any other means of getting a baby.

Bean gets a bad rap. She's the coolest person I know and she's saved my ass more times than I can count. She's tough, but she has to be; she's the prettiest girl at school and the other girls are always pulling crap on her. It's not as if she tries hard to be pretty, she comes by it naturally—Aunt Ro could totally be a model, and Uncle Em's a handsome guy. Bean is tall, thin, blonde, blue-eyed, and now has boobs.

Our parents don't know anything about Bean being my self-appointed bodyguard over the years. I get picked on crazy bad at school. If they're not razzing me about my hair, or being shorter than they are, they're picking on me for being a music geek or being the smart kid. I can't help it, and Bean has always maintained that she's the only person allowed to wail on me.

Well, she and the twins, and they only play fight with me. Sam's a lot like me; he's musical and artistic, while Billy's the athletic one. They both look like they could be basketball or football players; last summer they were almost six feet tall and they were only thirteen! The four of us are a force to be reckoned with and none of the other summer kids mess with us.

Only two weeks to go. I couldn't wait. My favourite time of year is cottage time. Mom and Dad fell in love with Tidnish when they honeymooned there. The following summer we all went again, only this time the whole family went. Pop C and Gram ME fell in love with it too, so they bought land from Dr. Black and built a huge and amazing cottage with a gigantic bunkhouse for us in the woods behind the cottage. Mom, Bean, and I have been spending our summers there since forever with Uncle Jake, Aunt Lee Lee, and the twins. Dad is there as much as he can be; which works out to be two or three weeks of the summer. It's not nearly long enough for me. See, unlike most kids my age, I actually like my parents, as in, I seriously enjoy spending time with them. I wish Dad was around more, but his other kids need him too. When I was younger I used to pretend to be sick so he'd spend more time with me.

Yeah, I was dumb. I've figured it out now, though.

"Hello? Peanut brain?"

"What?" I asked, slapping Bean's hand away from me.

"Space out much? You're really out of it today. Pass me the sponge, would you?"

I tossed the nearest one to her as I continued to scrub at a tire with a toothbrush. Bean was desperate to get to the cottage with me and Mom; she said she couldn't stand to spend another moment in Alcatraz with her tyrannical parents. She calculated that we needed to do five cars per day for the next week, although we were both hoping for a reprieve from the wardens. Cleaning import cars was hard work, and really, might be considered cruel and undue punishment.

Uncle Em came out to torture us for a while. I like Uncle Em; he's big, goofy, and just plain silly, most of the time. The rest of the time he's turning red, steam is coming out of his ears, and he's on the verge of blowing a gasket at Bean.

"Yo, Peanut buddy, you missed a spot on that rim. No one likes a Porsche that doesn't shine."

"Pfft, chill, Uncle Em."

"I'm just riding your ass, little buddy. How's Mom and Big Daddy E doing?"

Lily was about to blow the lid off Mom's news, so I cut her off. "Oh, you know; same old, same old. They're keeping busy. Mom's getting excited about the cottage, trying to shuffle her clients around, and finishing up some loose ends on an article she's writing for _The Lancet_. Dad's got a couple of cases that are kind of getting him down, but you know him—always worrying."

"Good old Worryward. So, how'd Bean talk you into doing this?" Uncle Em grabbed a toothbrush and went to work on the other rim.

"Oh, the usual, the threat of disembowelment, Chinese water torture, shopping, the usual."

He laughed. "Really though?"

I stopped scrubbing and sighed as I turned to him. "I don't want to spend the summer without her. Sure she drives me nuts with all this new girlie bullshit, but she's my buddy. Besides, the twins are dying to see her."

Uncle Em grumbled to himself before he spoke aloud. "I bet they are. Little buddy, you need to promise me you won't let them get their mangy paws all over my baby girl, okay? Can you do that?"

"That's a pretty tall order, but I'll try." I grinned at him.

"I'll cut you a deal—if you can be my eyes and ears until Rosie and I get down there, I'll cut her punishment down to two days. We won't tell your Aunt Ro about it, though, right?"

"I'll promise to try, but her newfound hormones have made her a monster capable of brute force."

He raked his hands over his face, then sighed. "Okay, deal. But don't let on to Bean, okay? We'll just let her think she's got me wrapped around her finger."

"Deal." I bumped fists with my uncle and went back to work.

Aunt Ro and Mom were cooking up a storm when we got home. Bean and Uncle Em ran home to shower and change before dinner, while I did the same at my house. Cleaning cars was hard, dirty work.

Having family dinners two or three times a week wasn't unusual for us. Bean and I had spent most of our waking hours together since birth and our moms found it easier if we combined meals too. It was a great arrangement.

Have I mentioned how much I love my family?

Dad got home from work and was smiling. Mom ran over to hug him. "Good news?" she asked.

"Great news," he replied, smiling. "Ethan is officially in remission. His oncologist called today. Sarah was finally released from intensive care, and Alex took his first steps. It," he said, picking up my mom and swinging her around, "was a wonderful day."

My dad was a great doctor who often went out of his way for his patients and I loved to see him so happy. He walked over and hugged me. "I love you, kiddo. I'm so grateful you're healthy. I couldn't bear to lose you."

"M…uv…u…moo," I mumbled into his shirt.

"What was that?"

"I love you too, if you'll stop smothering me with your love."

He laughed. "Do anything exciting today?"

I sighed heavily and rolled my eyes. "Slave labour. I spent my afternoon detailing cars to get Bean's sentence reduced."

"What did she do now?"

"Credit card theft."

"Let me guess," he said, pinching the bridge of his nose, "she found a purse she just HAD to have."

I corrected him. "Boots."

"How much?"

"Four hundred."

"Ouch." Dad moved toward the stairs. "Let me change and you can tell me all about it. Go claim our spots."

I smiled. My dad rocks. I know most guys my age wouldn't want to hang with their father, but mine was cool. No matter how busy he gets, he always takes time to find out how my day was, then he tells me about his. I sit in mom's old marshmallow chair, Dad sits in his decrepit Lazy-Boy and we just talk. If he's running late, he'll still come to my room so we can talk. I don't know any other guys who have that kind of bond with their dad and I feel pretty special.

Dad and I sat and talked about Bean's latest transgression, about my deal with Uncle Em, and about the kids he treated. Poor Ethan had been a source of ongoing anguish for Dad and the oncologists treating him for a while, and the fact that he was finally in remission was fantastic. I noticed that Dad was more relaxed and that made me happy.

"Oh, Dad? Bean spilled the beans to Aunt Ro about the baby."

"Go figure. Wait, how did…oh Peanut, you didn't." Dad raked his freakishly long fingers through his hair.

I shrugged. "Oops? It was an accident. Anyway, I did damage control, so you guys had better tell everyone soon."

"We're doing it tonight, which reminds me, can you help me set up the laptop and projector? We can videoconference with all the others.

"Cool! Let's go."

One thing Dad and I love to do is embrace our inner AV geek and tinker with technology. We had managed to set up an impressive network so everyone in the family could be connected at just about any time. We even made it easy to use so Pop C and Gram ME could just click a button, and BAM! We'd all be together.

I quite often spend a lot of time online with Pop C and Gram ME. It sucked that they lived so far away. Dad kept trying to get them to move East, but they said that they would rather put up with the dark and the wet instead of enduring our long, cold winters. I don't really blame them; winters here can be kind of brutal. That's two more reasons why I love summer at the cottage so much because I get to spend a month with my grandparents and there's no snow.

After a tasty dinner of spaghetti, everyone congregated in the living room. Again, it wasn't out of the ordinary for us to gather and do big family teleconferencing sessions. This time, though, Aunt V, Aunt Lee Lee, Uncle Jake, and the twins would be joining in with the rest of us.

I managed to hook up with my grandparents and Aunt V right away, Aunt Al and Uncle Jazz were next, then the gang in Canada. As soon as everyone said their hellos, Mom and Dad cleared their throats. "Um, everyone, can we have your attention? Edward and I have an announcement to make."

Mom sounded nervous, and I noticed that Dad took her hand in his and was rubbing circles on the back. "So, uh, yeah…we're…we're going to have a baby."

The silence was almost deafening. Weird, I know, but it was like we were sucked into a vortex or something. Then Pop C and Gram ME started to cry, Aunt Al screamed and started beating on poor Uncle Jazz, Aunt Ro tackled Mom, while Uncle Em fist-bumped Dad. I looked at Aunt V, who was wiping a tear from her cheek, and then at Aunt Lee Lee, Uncle Jake, and the twins, who looked just as flabbergasted as I had when they told me. Bean was leaning against the door jamb yawning dramatically.

My phone buzzed in my pocket. It was a text from Sam: _Talk later?_

I replied with a quick, _Oh yeah_.

* * *

_**So, what did you think? Is this something you might be interested in reading?**_

_**Are you really that invested that you can endure a Peanut-only POV AND can you deal with this being probably a T rating? I am not going to have these fourteen year olds having graphic sexual encounters, so I'm warning you know that Peanut won't be graphically getting his knob polished, or Bean won't be getting her taco stuffed. There won't be any graphic encounters for B&E because that would mean that poor Peanut walked in on them, and that's just wrong. *shudders***_

_**That being said, should I pursue this further? If I write/post it, will you read it?**_

_**I am now on Twitter. You should hopefully be able to find me at leelan_oleander. I know some people were having a hard time finding me last night. Hopefully that won't continue to be an issue.**_

_**I love you, guys. THANK YOU.**_


	38. OS Our Little Miracle

**Our Little Miracle**

**For the Fandom for Preemies fundraiser**

**Betas: Katmom & Minnakoda**

_A little background…_

_This particular O/S will be included (in some form) in a third installment in the _Branded/Road Maps_ story when I get around to getting it written. For those who have read the other two stories, you will likely be happy to see Nathan is narrating this piece. For those who have not read _Branded_ or _Road Maps_, you won't need to know much; I think this story can pretty much stand on its own as Nathan does a pretty good job of explaining things. _

**~0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0~**

My name is Nathan Charlie Cullen and you probably don't know me and are wondering who the hell I am and why I'm bothering you. Or, maybe you're thinking that my name sounds familiar—you probably know my folks, Edward and Bella Cullen. Seems like most people I meet know who they are.

So yeah, I'm Nathan, a.k.a Peanut, or PeaNate as my cousin and best friend Lily "Bean" Swan calls me. You might know her folks, Emmett Swan and Rosalie Hale? They own the import auto dealership in town.

I'm fourteen years old and no I'm not lying. I know I don't look my age, but I am honestly fourteen. I can even show you my ID if you need to see it. I was a preemie and I'm still waiting for my growth spurt to hit, which my dad assures me will happen eventually. He said that sometimes preemies are a little slower to grow and I'll just have to be patient. Of course Lily grew. She was an early bird too, but she obviously got the worm, where I didn't. She sprouted boobs last year and grew about four inches while I still look like a ten year-old. Mom said that girls quite often develop faster than boys do and that I shouldn't let it get to me. Pfft…easy for her to say.

I wish delayed puberty was the worst of my worries…we've been going through something a lot more frightening than that. My mom went into pre-term labour with my baby sister and we've had a really rough time lately. To say I wasn't scared shitless would be an understatement.

Please don't tell Mom I said that, though. She wouldn't be impressed that I was swearing.

Have you got a few minutes while I'm waiting for my folks? I'll tell you a story.

**~0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0~**

Mom announced in June, much to everyone's shock and joy, that she was pregnant. I was, well, a rough pregnancy and she nearly died when I was born. Okay, I lied, but only because I feel bad about it. Mom actually DID die when I was born, but they were able to bring her back.

I was pretty healthy when I was born, even though I was born at around 35 weeks. I was small and a little slower to do some things. I walked a little later, talked a little later, and I have to work hard to maintain my good grades—maybe a little harder than everyone else does. Turns out that I have ADHD, but they don't think it's related.

So yeah, Mom gets pregnant at 38 years of age and managed to carry Bump until she hit 31 weeks, and then she started hemorrhaging. I was scared shitless because it was just the two of us at home when it happened, and although I have learned a lot of medical stuff over the years because my dad is a doctor, it's different when it's your mom curled up on the floor bleeding and screaming.

**~0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0~**

"Nathan! Oh God, Nathan, HELP!"

I jumped up from the piano and ran toward the sound of her voice. I found her in the bathroom and skidded to a halt when I saw her.

"MOM!"

Her pale face turned up to look at me. "Call your father, please."

"What-?"

"Nathan, please, call your father. I think…I think I'm losing the baby."

I ran back to grab my phone and called Dad.

"Nathan? I hope this is…"

"Dad…Mom…bleeding…" I puffed out as I ran back to the bathroom.

"Wait, son, slow down. What's going on?"

Mom howled in pain and I nearly dropped the phone. "Is that your father?"

I nodded and passed the phone to her with a shaky hand.

"Edward, something's wrong," she panted into the phone. "Yes, cramping, bleeding, oooh God! Hurry!"

Mom dropped the phone as she curled into herself, holding onto Bump. I had given her that name when we first found out that she was pregnant. I grabbed the phone, not really caring that it was now covered in her blood to see what I should do.

"Dad, what do I do?"

"Can you try to stay cool? Your Mom needs to be as calm as possible. Do you remember the breathing technique we learned in yoga class?"

"Yeah, why?" I had never really understood the importance of all the breathing in the family yoga class my folks signed us up for. Dad had read somewhere that it was good for people with ADHD and helped them channel their energy in different ways and calm their brains down. Maybe this was a good example of just how important it was.

"Can you get down on the floor with her and guide her through it? It'll keep her from hyperventilating and will hopefully reduce her heart rate a little. We don't need her to panic."

"Yeah, I can do that."

"How bad is it?" he asked, and I could hear the fear in his voice even though he was trying to be brave for all of us.

"Bad."

"I've got an ambulance on the way. I'll meet you here at the hospital, okay? Now go, breathe with your mother, and tell her that I love her."

"Okay." My voice was shaking and I felt bad about it. Poor Dad was likely really freaking out.

"You can do this, son."

I set the phone down and got on the floor so I could take Mom's hands in mine and look her in the eye. "Okay, Mom, Dad suggested that we do some breathing. He said it would help. Remember yoga class? In through the nose," I paused and pulled a ragged breath through my nose, "then out through the nose, remembering to push your belly button toward your spine. Can you do that, Mom? Please? Breathe with me?"

She nodded weakly, inhaling through her nose until she flinched, then exhaled the same way.

"Slow, Mom, you don't want to pass out or hyperventilate. Dad's got an ambulance on the way to take you to the hospital and he'll meet us there. He also wanted me to tell you that he loves you."

Mom squeezed my hand tightly, then loosened her hold/grip as she began to shiver.

"Are you cold?"

"Y…yes. There's a big towel on the warming rack. Can you…oh God…" she cried out again.

"Look at me, Mom, focus on me, your handsome Peanut. Breathe through it. I'm going to grab a towel."

I got up on my knees, grabbing at the warm bath sheet hanging by the tub. I wrapped it around her then moved so I was spooning her. Dad had mentioned before that body heat was better than a blanket in most emergencies, and I knew that Mom was scared, so she'd likely want to reassurance of someone holding her.

"Breathe, Mom. You're going to be okay. We'll meet Dad at the hospital and…"

"Peanut, I'm sorry," she said softly. "I don't want to leave you. I love you, my sweet miracle boy."

What was she talking about? "You're not going anywhere but the hospital where Dr. Demetri is going to fix this because that's what he does."

"In case I don't…"

It hit me then that Mom was trying to say goodbye. I moved so I was lying in front of her so I could see her face. "Mom, you're not saying goodbye. You aren't leaving me and Dad. I won't let that happen. Stay with me. I love you too much to let you go. Breathe with me, Mom. I love you. Stay with me."

I hoped my shaking voice wouldn't betray the fact that I was totally freaking out on the inside. As hard as I tried to stay positive, there's nothing even remotely good about lying in a puddle of your mother's blood on the bathroom floor.

After what felt like an eternity, the ambulance arrived. The paramedics loaded mom onto a gurney and they whisked us to the hospital. Dad was freaking out when he saw us, but he very quickly went into doctor mode as they wheeled her away, leaving me alone in the waiting room in my blood-soaked clothes unsure if I'd ever see my mom alive again.

**~0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0~**

"Peanut?"

Hmm? Why was Aunt Ro waking me up? I opened my eyes before jerking up in my seat. I wasn't home; I was at the hospital, curled up in a chair in the waiting room.

"Oh, sweetie, you're covered in blood. Come with me, your dad asked me to grab some clothes for you."

I was confused, disoriented and half-asleep. "Where's my Mom? When were you talking to Dad?" I mumbled as she led me toward Dad's office.

"Get cleaned up and I'll explain everything, okay?"

"Mm…yeah," I replied, yawning.

I washed up in the small bathroom in Dad's office while my brain woke up and began running at a million miles per hour. Aunt Ro was waiting for me, my favourite hoodie in hand. I pulled it on, looking expectantly at her.

"So?"

Aunt Ro pulled me into a hug, leading me to the nearby sofa. "Your mother is in surgery right now. Your father was sketchy on the details—"

"Of course," I cut in, wrapping my arms around myself. Dad should have been crowned king of the cryptic. He thought he was sparing me by not giving me the full story, but really, he was making things infinitely worse.

"They checked on the viability of the baby and although her lungs are underdeveloped, they safely delivered her. She weighs 3 lbs, and she's being cared for in the NICU."

"She? I have a sister?"

A tear ran down Aunt Ro's cheek. "Yes, sweetie; congratulations, big brother."

"What's her name?"

She shook her head. "There was no time to name her. Much like when you were born, your mother…well, she's not doing very well, Peanut."

I stood up. "NO! She can't die. I promised I wouldn't let her go. I need to see her."

Aunt Ro caught me before I could run out of the room and held me as I cried. "She can't die, Aunt Ro. I can't lose my Mom. I have to do something."

"Let's pray, buddy. That's about all we can do for the both of them. They're fighters and I know they'll do everything they can to survive this."

"Wh…where's my dad?"

"He's pacing the corridors of the OR. I told him I'd bring you down to him as soon as you were ready. He's feeling pretty bad about leaving you in the waiting room by yourself."

"What are we waiting for? Let's go!" I all but shouted.

I dragged poor Aunt Ro down the endless corridors until I saw a familiar head of disheveled bronze hair identical to my own. "DAD!" I cried out as I ran to him.

"God, Nathan!" he whispered as he hugged me. "I'm so sorry, buddy. I shouldn't have left you alone in that waiting room…I just…I freaked out when I saw her and the blood and…"

Dad's knees gave out and we fell to the floor, clinging to one another. He sobbed into my shoulder as I rubbed his back and hummed Mom's lullaby to him. He finally spoke when his sobs slowed. "You should see your baby sister. She's just as feisty and stubborn as you were."

"Are they going to be okay, Dad? What's going to happen?"

Dad looked over at a tearful Aunt Ro before turning back to me. "Why don't we go sit in a quiet room with Rosalie and talk? I'll tell you what I know."

"Don't gloss it over, okay?"

"I won't, I promise."

We got up and walked over to Aunt Ro, who hugged Dad before we started moving toward the quiet room. As soon as we were seated, he took a deep breath. "Son, the placenta detached from the uterine wall, causing your sister's premature birth and your mother's…well, she's…she's hemorrhaging, son. Right now, they are trying to slow the bleeding and get more blood into her before they will do a hysterectomy. They will only be removing the uterus, leaving her ovaries so she doesn't go into early menopause."

My heart was racing faster with every word he spoke. It was all a jumbled mess. All I could hear was the negative words; hemorrhaging, bleeding, surgery… "Is Mom going to die, Dad? I promised her that she wouldn't."

I held my breath as he ran his fingers through his hair—not a good sign. "I don't know, Nathan, I just…I just don't know."

"What about the baby?"

Dad shrugged helplessly. "I don't know that either. She was very strong considering her abrupt entrance into the world, but that's not to say there won't be long term issues."

He leaned on me and cried again. "We did everything right. I don't understand…"

A quiet knock came at the door. "Uncle E? Can…OH NO!" Lily shrieked as her mouth opened, and her red-tinged eyes grew even more fearful. "Is…did…I…what?"

Aunt Ro got up and brought her over to sit beside me. I instantly turned and threw my arms around her, knowing I'd find comfort in the arms of my best friend.

Dad got up and excused himself, saying that he wanted to talk to Uncle Emmett alone, and then he would get a status report for us. I cried on Lily's shoulder as Aunt Ro explained the situation quietly to her daughter. Lily tightened her grip on me as she began to sob as well.

I woke up a couple of hours later, asleep on the couch, my head in Lily's lap as she ran her fingers through my matted hair.

"Mom?" I croaked. My throat was hella-dry.

Aunt Ro passed me a bottle of water as I sat up, rubbing my eyes and stretching. "She's out of surgery, sweetie."

"She's going to be okay?" I asked, hopeful.

"They don't know, kiddo. I'm sorry. She's in the surgical ICU and she's being monitored very closely in case the bleeding starts again. She's been transfused several times and her…her heart stopped, sweetheart. Twice. It's not good. They don't know if there's been any long term damage done to her heart because of this…"

"NO! She's not going to die! I promised her that I wouldn't let her go, and I'm not going to. I want to see her. I NEED to see her." I got up and ran toward the door. Dad was standing there when I opened it, so I threw myself at him. "Dad? How is she?"

He ran his fingers through my hair in an attempt to soothe me. "Well, buddy, she's far from out of the woods, but it seems the bleeding has finally stopped. Her body has been through a terrible shock, so they have her sedated and intubated to give her body a chance to rest and heal. They're giving her one more transfusion, hoping it will be the last."

"She's going to die, isn't she?" I asked quietly.

"Not on my watch, kiddo. She has a newborn baby girl and a teenager to raise. Speaking of your sister, would you like to go meet her before we go see Mom?"

I nodded against his chest.

"Okay, kiddo, why don't you go splash some water on your face and wash the sleep out of your eyes."

"Okay."

I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I looked like shit but couldn't find it in me to care. Not while my mom was fighting for her life. Not while my nameless baby sister struggled with her own battle to survive.

As Dad and I walked toward the NICU, he tried to explain what I would be seeing and telling me not to be freaked out by the tubes, lines, and machines. We washed our hands thoroughly before donning gowns and shoe coverings in a room outside the unit. The door leading in to where my baby sister was opened with an almost Star Trek-like whoosh as we walked in.

Don't judge—Dad and I have regular Trek marathons. Original series only.

Dad spoke quietly to one of the nurses, who turned and smiled at me. "Hi, Nathan, I'm Louise. Would you like to meet your sister?"

"Yes, please."

She smiled again. "You're a charmer, just like your dad, aren't you? Come on now, she's been waiting to meet her big brother."

We stopped by an incubator-type thing which was covered by a blanket. "So, underneath this quilt is your baby sister. We keep her isolette covered to keep in the heat and to block out the bright light. Her eyelids are still quite translucent and no one likes to be under bright lights all the time, do they?"

Louise lifted the quilt and I gasped at the tiny little baby under the glass. "She's so tiny," I whispered, mesmerized by the creature before me. Her eyes were closed and Louise was right, her tiny eyelids were paper thin, as was most of her skin. There was a tiny mask strapped to her nose, tubes coming out of her mouth, sensors on her chest and lines coming out of her tiny twig-like arms, yet her free hand moved like she was trying to fight it.

"She's unable to get enough oxygen on her own, so we're helping her with the CPAP machine—sometimes the wee ones forget to breathe."

"What's that underneath her?"

"It's kind of like a heating pad; it's used to keep her warm. Preemies don't have enough body fat to keep them warm, so again, we're just helping her until she can do it on her own."

I felt tears on my cheeks again and leaned against Dad because this was an awful lot to take in. "Is she going to be okay? Really? Don't lie to me, Louise; it'll just make it harder."

Louise smiled warmly at me. "Sweetie, we don't tend to gloss things over here because time with these little ones is often fleeting and it shouldn't be wasted on false hope. I'll say this much; I've seen much sicker babies survive. That's not a guarantee that she'll make it out of here unscathed, though; because she is very premature, there's a chance she could have long term problems as a result of her prematurity. The good thing is that preemies nowadays have a higher survival rate than they did even ten years ago and we have the equipment and technology to help them as best we can. The rest is up to the babies and God."

"I was a preemie," I said, "but not this early."

"See, sunshine! You're living proof that preemies are tough little cookies. Talk to her if you want. I need to go check on another baby. I'll be right back."

Dad rubbed my back as I approached my sister. "Hi…er…Bump. We really need to get you a name, don't we, or else you'll end up being called Bump like they call me Peanut.

"Anyway, thanks for not dying and for being so tough. You scared us all, but you're here, you seem to be doing okay, and well, I hope you can stick around. I know I'm a lot older than you, but that might work out okay so I can scare away all the boys who'll be coming after you, because if you look anything like Mom, you're going to be a regular heartbreaker.

"So please, grow, be healthy, and come home soon. I know I don't know you yet, but I love you, and I'd miss you if you had to leave."

Dad was sobbing on my shoulder at this point and I figured that it wouldn't be very good for her to be around a lot of loud crying, so I nudged him and encouraged him to move toward the door. "Only positive energy, Dad. Let's go see Mom."

Louise came over and stopped us. "Would you like a photo?"

"Really?"

"Sure, come on over."

When we finally left the NICU we were each carrying Polaroids that Louise had taken of us with her. Aunt Ro would be so excited to see her new niece.

"How're you feeling, kiddo?" Dad asked hoarsely. He sounded utterly exhausted.

I took a deep breath before answering. "I feel better about Bump. It was freaky at first and she's kind of weird looking, but she's cute, and she's tough. I just wish I could see Mom."

"Let's go check and see if we can't get you in there now."

Dad yawned and stumbled a little. "Hey, when was the last time you slept?"

He mumbled something but I didn't catch it. Hopefully he'd go crash in his office soon, or else I'll be visiting my entire family in this damn hospital.

The walk to the surgical ICU felt endless, but when we finally made it, he left me in a small lounge while he went to speak with the nurses. He returned a few minutes later, an exhausted smile on his face. "Come on, kiddo, let's go see your mom."

"How is she?"

"Better. The bleeding has stopped, her fluid levels are better, her heart is pumping steadily, and her oxygen levels are improving. They might try to take out the breathing tube in a couple of days.

"That being said," he stopped me, put his hand on my shoulder and stared at me, his face serious. "She's well-wired, kiddo, so don't be too freaked out. You're allowed to touch her, and I think she'd love to hear your voice. I'll get you settled and I'll go see Rose, Em, and Lily to tell them what's going on, show them the baby pictures, and give you some alone time with Mom."

"Thanks, Dad."

He wasn't lying when he said she was well-wired. There were tubes and machines everywhere. She was almost a mirror image of poor little Bump. I'll admit that I was freaked out, I mean, no one wants to see their mom like this but I wasn't as scared anymore. Mom looked much better than she had on the bathroom floor and I knew now that she would be okay—or at least I kept telling myself that over and over, hoping it would be true.

Dad brought over a chair so I could sit beside Mom. I just sat and stared at first, then as I grew braver, I took her hand in mine and started to speak. "Hi, Mom. Dad and I just went to see Bump and she's doing okay. She's so tiny and cute, but she looks different. She's a tough little cookie, waving her hand around and stuff, and even the NICU nurse Louise said she was tough. I think you'll fall in love with her as soon as you see her, if the wires and stuff don't freak you out. Crap, I'm rambling."

"Didn't take your meds today, did you, Peanut?" Dad asked.

"No, I haven't had time to go home. I'm okay, though. I'll just talk Mom's ear off, that's all."

He began laughing but it trailed into a deep yawn. "Do you mind staying with your mom while I go sleep for a couple of hours? I'll get Aunt Ro to go pick up your pills, some clothes, and a book for you."

"I'm cool, Dad. Please go sleep. You look like you could fall over."

"I will. I need to call your grandparents and Alice and Jasper and…"

"Sleep, Dad. Go." I waved my arms at him, mimicking that I was pushing him out of the room. He laughed and ruffled my hair before leaning down to kiss Mom. He whispered in her ear before he turned to leave.

"I'll be back. Have a nurse page me if you need me, okay?"

"Yes, Dad. Now go!"

He left me with Mom and the constant stream of doctors and nurses coming to check on her. In between visits, I sang our favourite songs quietly into her ear. Praying that she could hear me, and take solace in my voice, I talked to her and told stories about our times at the cottage in Nova Scotia, our crazy family, our newest addition, and about how much I loved her and needed her to come back to me.

Over the next 48 hours, Mom improved quickly and so did my as-yet-unnamed baby sister. I couldn't wait for Mom to wake up so we could pick out a name for her because I felt bad calling her Bump since she was so much more than that. She was a fragile but strong little girl who deserved a real name.

They removed Mom's breathing tube after she showed signs of waking up. It was kind of gross, but it was worth being there when she took her first unassisted breath. Dad and I were both crying when she coughed and sucked in some air. The respiratory therapist put a mask over her mouth and nose to give her more concentrated oxygen to help her along, but he said she wouldn't need it for long, that her lungs sounded good and her O2 levels were actually almost normal.

A couple of hours later she opened her eyes and blinked at us, looking confused at first, but then let out a horrible sob. Dad moved closer to her and held her face in his hands.

"What is it, love? Are you okay? You need to calm down."

"Where…? Did I…? The baby…?" She looked over at me. "Peanut, what…?"

Her voice was raspy, raw, and wrought with pain. I moved away from the bed, took a cup of water from the nearby table and held a straw to her dry lips. She smiled a little before taking a couple of small sips.

"Mom, she's alive."

I watched as her eyes grew huge. "She?"

"Yup, she, as in, my baby sister."

Mom looked back and forth between us. "She survived? Oh, Edward, please tell me this isn't all part of some bizarre dream."

Dad smoothed her hair back and placed a kiss on her forehead. "No, love, she's really here. You need to rest so you so you can see her, okay? Your body has been through a lot. You…" his voice cracked, "you left me again, Bella. You have to stop doing that." He leaned down, resting his forehead against hers. "Why do you keep…" he began to cry, large tears running down his cheeks, "…leaving me. You keep dying and it's killing me. Please…please stay. I need you. WE need you."

Her voice was weak, but I heard what she said. "I'm still here, Edward, I'm not going anywhere."

They stayed like that until Mom fell asleep. Dad got up and moved over to where I was standing and hugged me. "I'm going to go make some calls. Can you…?"

"I'm not leaving her side."

**~0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0~**

And I didn't. I missed A LOT of school, but Bean brought all my assignments to the hospital so I wouldn't fall behind. It was early enough in the school year that we weren't doing anything too involved, and I really wasn't worried about missing out. I had bigger things to worry about.

Frankly, I was surprised that Dad let me skip school. I had a lot of time to consider the reasons why and in a moment of weakness, I surmised that things were more serious than I had initially thought and I feared that something might happen and that Dad wanted me to have as much time with Mom and my baby sister as possible.

Oh, and she has a name—Faith. Mom said it was a tribute to me and Dad because we never gave up on either one of them and it was our faith and love that got them through it all.

Mom was in the hospital for three weeks, and finally released in mid-October. She was tired and weak, requiring assistance a lot of the time, which Aunt Ro gladly provided when I returned to school and Dad went back to work. Even though she was exhausted, she spent as much time as possible at the NICU with Faith. We all did. I went to the hospital every day after school to meet her there.

I hated to be away from them both, and I really hated that I was missing out on a lot of Faith's milestones; the first time Mom got to hold her, the first time Mom was able to feed her, and the first time she cried out loud.

I was there, though, to see her first smile, and although they all said it was gas, I knew better. I remember the first time she squeezed my finger in her tiny hand. I vividly remember changing a diaper for the first time too. It was all kinds of gross, but it didn't smell bad like I thought it would. Louise explained that baby poop only really starts to stink when they start eating food.

Louise quickly became a close friend of ours and really, I don't know how we would have managed without her. Faith's time in the NICU was far from easy—there were complications and moments when I thought she might not make it—and yet she did. Louise kept saying that she was strong and would fight until she was able to go home or until the Lord called her home to be with him.

I wasn't so ready to accept her reasoning.

I'm not a religious person—not like Gram Me or Pop C, my dad's parents—but I quickly learned that praying is not such a bad thing. Pop C explained it one night in the chapel at the hospital after Faith had had a particularly bad day. He said that praying isn't just asking God for help, but it's a way to help ourselves calm our souls and bodies down to a place where we can think clearer, even out our breathing, and focus on putting out positive energy. So, although I wasn't sure to whom or what I was praying, I found myself feeling a lot better after spending time in _prayer_. Lily said it was like a visualization exercise or meditation. It all had the same effect.

Regardless, whether it was the prayers, the positive energy, or just good genes, Faith is doing much better and today is a big day—we get to take her home! It's been a long few months—she's been here, in the hospital, for three and a half to be precise, and although she's not exactly 100% healthy, we still get to take her away from here. Her nursery at the house resembles a smaller and less invasive version of the NICU, but that's fine. We agreed that we would all do whatever it takes to bring her home.

She weighs eight pounds now and looks more like a real baby than she did when she was born. I know eight pounds doesn't sound much for a baby her age, but remember she was born almost ten weeks early.

The CPAP machine is set up for her because she's still going to need it when she sleeps. She still sometimes forgets to breathe, although not nearly as often. She has special formula and a naso-gastric tube because she has stomach issues that the doctors say will likely work themselves out over time. They also said that she may have motor skill problems that may only manifest later.

That's fine. You know why? Because she's my baby sister and she's perfect just the way she is. If she can't walk, we'll carry her. If she can't hold things, I'll do it for her. If she struggles to talk, we'll find a voice for her somehow. Faith will always know that she is loved regardless of what the future holds, and she will always be surrounded by a family that loves her no matter what happens. She was our little premature gift, and if she shares the same strong genes that I do, she'll be just fine.

**~0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0~**

"Nathan?"

I stood up. "Hi Mom, Dad. Are you ready to go?"

They nodded as they held up her car seat.

"Can I see her for a sec?" I asked.

"Be careful with her, son. I'll go pull the car around." Dad handed my little sister over to me and kissed Mom before he walked away.

I smiled down at her, rubbing her little cheek until I got a giggle out of her. "I'd like to present to you Faith Esme Cullen, my baby sister and our little miracle."

* * *

**I know a lot of you are jonesing for some more of this story, and I hope to one day deliver something more. RL is kicking my ass and I need a break. When _Around the Bend_ is over, I'm going to take some time off...well, I will likely post the odd O/S every now and then, but I need to decompress.**

**Thank you for loving this story so much that you want to read more. It means so very much to me.**


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